Chapter 1 #2
All her courage vanished. “Please don’t hurt him, Father,” she begged.
Elspit might hate herself for being such a craven coward, but this was Ewen, her love, her sweetheart, the boy she had adored since the moment his family first came to Castle Tighe.
She had been fourteen and she still remembered seeing him at that moment, weary and beaten, yet taller than all his brothers, standing with such dignity before her father in the hall.
Now her father was staring at her in a way that made her heart sink even further. “Tell me what you will do to save him, Elspit? If I were to banish him instead of flogging him and hanging him? If I sent him and his family away from Castle Tighe …”
“No!” Was that her voice, hollow and full of pain? “I love him.”
Her father shook his head at her as if she was a halfwit. “What has ‘love’ to do with anything? Your husband has already been decided.”
“Ewen will not leave me,” she said it proudly, knowing it was true.
The laird leaned in closer and she could smell the pungent, unwashed scent of his body beneath his fine clothes.
“Then you must make him,” he hissed. “I want him and his self-righteous kin gone, Elspit. I am tired of being told my ambitions are wicked and unlawful, and having their lofty relatives rubbed in my face. Have no doubt though, I will be rid of him if you do not tell him you are going to marry our neighbour. Make him think that Grant is wealthy enough to give you your heart’s desire, and that heart’s desire is not this boy.
Make him believe you, Elspit, or else I promise you he and his brothers will die, whatever the repercussions. ”
I cannot do such a thing, she told herself. Surely it would be better to die? But while she would gladly give up her own life, she could not do that to Ewen. She must save him and set him free, and if that meant he would hate her forever more, she would still do it.
All the while her brain was twisting and turning as she returned her father’s implacable gaze. There must be a way ...there must be a way ... But there wasn’t, and eventually there was nothing left to do but admit defeat.
“Very well,” she whispered through trembling lips. “I will do as you ask. Only please do not hurt him.”
***
The dungeon at Castle Tighe was gloomy and rank and seeing Ewen chained in there broke her heart all over again. When he saw her he began to pull against his restraints, calling her name and desperately trying to reach her.
She might have gone to him but she noticed the red mark on his cheek. Someone had struck him. There would be more of that if she didn’t get him away to safety.
Elspit stood aloof, just out of reach. She was alone. Her father had told her she must do this on her own, so that it would not appear she was being coerced. Besides, he knew she had no choice. She would do anything to save the boy she loved, even deliver herself into the hands of another man.
“I have come to tell you that you and your family must leave,” she told him, swallowing to lubricate her dry throat. “You will be released and then you must go.”
He had been struggling but now he stilled and stared at her as if she was a stranger. “He is making you say this!” he declared angrily. “I will not leave you, Elspit. I will never leave you.”
Elspit had rehearsed her lines so many times but now they stuck in her throat.
She had meant to lie to him, tell him she did not care for him after all, and that she wanted a wealthy husband and not someone poor and landless.
She had meant to be cruel, so cruel that he would hate her forever more.
But now the time had come she found she could not do it.
“Ewen,” she said, her voice trembling. “You must go. I am marrying Donald Grant. It is arranged. My father wishes it because he wants Grant’s land just as he wants all our neighbours’ lands.
He has no honour. Your father is honest and brave, he is not like mine, and he is not afraid to say what he thinks.
Lately his words have been turning some of my father’s men against him.
That is why you must leave. If you do not then … I fear you will all die.”
Ewen was white faced and shaking with rage. “If your father touches any of us he knows the duke will crush him. He would not dare, Elspit. It is a lie. Stay strong. I will not let this happen.”
“Oh Ewen,” she whispered brokenly, “how can you stop it?”
“I will not go,” he said stubbornly, watching her tears as if each one washed away a piece of his heart.
“You must or you will die. And not just you, but your father and brothers too! He says he will slaughter you all and take the consequences. Please, let me do this for you. Let me save you, Ewen.”
He shook his head and he kept shaking it, but as she continued to beg and coerce, his expression began to change from stubborn determination to miserable acceptance. She watched his eyes grow dull.
She had won, and Elspit was relieved. At the same time her pain was almost more than she could bear.
He was leaving her, and she was glad of it, but his going meant she would never be the same girl again.
Something inside her would die because Ewen was her sun, and without him she would live in endless darkness.
“I will come back for you,” he vowed, his voice low and hoarse with emotion. “I will marry you.” He was staring at her as if he were a flint and she the tinder. Elspit burned with longing.
“No. You must live your life,” she said. “Go to your duke and ask him to give you work so that you can restore your lands. I want you to.”
“I don’t care how long it takes, I will come back.”
She tried to smile, praying he would do as she asked, and then she turned and walked away.
He did not see her once she was outside the cell, slumped against the filthy wall, her legs giving way, her hand over her mouth to stop the sobs.
He could not know the agony she was feeling.
She kept telling herself that Ewen and his family were safe now, that she had saved them, and it did not matter what happened to her.
With Ewen gone, nothing mattered.
And yet she remembered his burning look, and his angry words, and although she knew it was impossible and she would never see him again, she yearned to be wrong.