Chapter 10
“How was hunting?” Elspeth asked, trying to make the conversation as casual as possible before she figured out what was wrong.
“It was fine. We have some good meat for taenight,” Finlay replied tersely. “It seems as though ye haed an eventful morning.”
“It was nae that eventful. I went intae town and got some fabric. I fixed the dress.” She held up the dress to show off her work, beaming with pride, but Finlay did not take his eyes off her.
“Aye, and more besides,” he said.
“What dae ye mean?”
“The guards told me about what they found and what they overhead. Why would ye say that ye are only here temporarily? I wilnae hae ye playing with my feelings, Elspeth.” He unclenched one fist and pointed a thick finger at her.
“I dinnae know why ye would say such a thing. Ye are my wife, and ye are here forever. I dinnae care if ye like it or nae, it’s just the way it is.
We dinnae always get what we want in life.
I thought ye knew that more than anyone.
After last night I thought I was beginning tae understand ye, but perhaps I was wrong.
Did ye tell me all of that tae gain my trust?
Are ye just waiting tae betray me? When are ye planning tae leave? ”
Elspeth was shocked by the outburst, so much so that she wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. She sat there with her mouth agape and let go of her dress.
“I’m nae planning tae leave, Finlay. Ye need tae get this idea of me being a spy out of yer mind. Why would I spy on ye?”
“Oh, for money, that’s usually the motive. But I dinnae care why. I’m nae gaeing tae be made a fool of. I’m nae gaeing tae be like my ma. She trusted the wrong people. What is yer plan? Who are ye working with? How did ye convince my uncle tae send ye here?”
“Finlay! Listen tae yerself!” Elspeth had had just about enough of being treated like this. “What are ye saying? I would never lie tae ye about my ma, and I would never betray ye. I take my vows seriously, more seriously than ye.”
“What is that supposed tae mean?”
“Look at us. Ye hae barely said two words tae me since I arrived. Ye rush through the wedding ceremony, ye speak curtly tae me in front of yer men. Ye rush away every morning tae gae hunting, and ye accuse me of being a spy. How dae ye think I feel? Ye are supposed tae be my husband, but I feel like ye are a stranger.”
“Even last night?” There was an edge to Finlay’s voice.
“There are exceptions, but just when I think I’ve figured ye out…
just when I think I hae gotten tae know ye properly, ye come and dae something like this.
I dinnae know where I stand with ye. I’m sorry if I’m nae what ye expected as a wife.
I didnae ask for this either. It was my da’s dying wish, and Laird Gallach was only trying tae be kind.
Maybe he thought I would bring out the best in ye, but I’m nae sure there’s anything like that in ye. ”
Finlay looked shocked at her blunt words.
It must have been a long time since anyone had spoken to him like this, and now that Elspeth was on a roll, she found it difficult to stop.
Her emotions were tumultuous, and it was freeing to release them in this burst. All of her frustration boiled over and poured out of her like steaming lava.
“I come here, leaving everything I know behind, leaving my wee brother in Kilin, all tae be yer wife. And I thought tae myself that maybe it wilnae be sae bad. Maybe I can be a good wife. But then ye leave me alone. Ye barely talk tae me, and I dinnae know what more I can dae. I thought we haed grown closer last night, but then this…” Her shoulders rose and fell, and her face was stricken with grief.
Finlay stared at her. “I thought sae tae. Then I hear that ye are only planning tae stay here temporarily, and what am I suppose tae think?”
“Ye should trust me!” Elspeth placed her hands on her head and ran her fingers through her hair, clutching at her scalp for a moment before she continued to gesticulate wildly with her arms. “I only said that because those men scared me. I would hae said anything tae get them tae leave me alone. The truth of the matter is that it’s clear ye dinnae want me around.
I get the feeling ye are sae used tae pushing everyone away that it’s a hard habit for ye tae break.
I thought ye might make an exception for yer wife, but I see I was wrong.
I’ve tried tae love ye, Finlay. I even thought that I might be feeling such a thing, but I know ye cannae feel the same desire for me.
Maybe I said that because part of me feels temporary in yer life.
I’ll find a way tae live with it, but dinnae accuse me of plotting against ye because that’s nae the kind of woman I am. ”
Her words hung in the silence.
“Ye are wrong,” Finlay said. His voice was grave, and his countenance was serious.
“When I got the letter from my uncle, he made it clear that he felt fondly for ye and that ye were in a difficult state. He told me all about yer da and what a hero he was. He wrote that he wanted ye tae be taken care of and that I had tae be gentle with ye because ye haed lost a lot and it would be difficult for ye tae leave the only home ye hae ever known. He told me that I should give ye time, sae that is what I hae been trying tae dae. I thought ye would want time tae grieve. I dinnae agree with my uncle that things should hae happened sae quickly, but he haes always had his plans for me, and I hae tae obey since he is my elder. Frankly, it seemed as though we were both forced intae the situation. I wanted tae give ye space sae that ye might settle in and grow comfortable with the situation. Maybe I’m harsher than I should be.
Ye know what haes happened in my life. I dinnae mean tae cast aspersions on yer character, but I also dinnae want tae hold anyone here against her will.
Dae ye want tae stay? Or dae ye want tae leave? ”
“I am yer wife,” she said, trying to process everything he was telling her.
Was it possible that she had misjudged him all this time?
Was being distant his way of trying to respect her?
There were so many complicated nuances to human relationships; it made her head hurt to try and figure it all out.
“That doesnae answer my question. Are ye choosing tae stay, or are ye only gaeing tae stay because my uncle ordered ye tae?”
Elspeth looked at him. She saw the pain in his eyes. She understood now that the anger he felt wasn’t borne from the idea that she was betraying him, but because he didn’t want her to leave. She swallowed a lump in her throat and closed the distance between them.
“Dae ye want me tae stay?” she asked in a soft voice, looking up at him with liquid eyes. She reached out and took his hand in hers.
He nodded.
“I want tae stay,” she said, and she knew in her heart that she wanted it for herself, not simply because it was her duty.
“And I dinnae want ye tae be distant. I dinnae want my husband tae be a stranger tae me. I want what we had by the lake.” She raised her other hand and rested it against his mighty chest. She felt it rise as he inhaled.
“Well, if ye dinnae want me tae be distant, then ye can have yer wish.” In one fluid movement, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him.
Her breath was stolen as his lips pressed against hers.
Heat blazed through her body as fire licked the inside of her mouth and traveled all the way down to the molten core of her body.
She whimpered as she sank into his arms and felt all the passion he had for her.
When she realized how much he had been holding back, she was amazed.
The air rushed around her as he twirled her around and pinned her against the wall of the room.
He lifted her from her feet, and she curled her arms around him, holding on tightly.
His soft beard tickled her lips, and her hair splayed around him like a whirlwind.
A deep ache began in her soul. It was the first time she experienced pure pleasure, and she loved it.