Chapter 16
It had taken Elspeth a little longer than she would have liked to recover from the ordeal.
She was weak the following day, and had to wait until the afternoon to return to the castle.
When she did, she gazed towards the dungeons and thought about the men being held prisoner there.
While she knew they had committed a crime and needed to be punished, she still could not be comfortable with the idea of executing them.
No doubt, Finlay would say that she was being soft, but how were people ever going to make up for their mistakes if they weren’t given the chance?
It was out of her hands, though. Finlay was going to make the decision, and it didn’t seem as though she could appeal to the kindness of his heart.
It was with regret that she felt the way she did as she was unable to continue with her plans to tend to the gardens.
Finlay and Elaine made sure that she was comfortable, and eventually, she was able to summon the strength to get out and walk around the grounds.
Even though she knew the village should be safe considering all the men had been captured, she wasn’t ready to venture beyond the boundaries of the castle just yet.
However, she was happy to walk through the grounds and ponder the current situation.
The more she thought about the plight of the prisoners, the more it didn’t sit right with her, and she wanted to find the right way to bring it up to Finlay.
He was a hard man and one who stayed true to his convictions, but that was one of the reasons why they had gotten into this mess in the first place.
The clan was suffering. As much as Finlay would probably deny it, he had neglected his clansmen for some time.
While she in no way condoned Angus’s methods, she understood why he felt compelled to take action against Finlay.
Elspeth feared that by punishing the men without addressing the core problem, it would only lead to someone else having the same idea later on in the future.
The last thing she wanted was for the clan to fracture, and as long as Finlay remained an absent laird, that was only ever going to be the case.
It was a shame that his clansmen couldn’t see Finlay’s true nature.
It had taken some time for her to see it and she was his wife!
He was so good at closing himself off and guarding himself against ever connecting with other people that he was more of a myth to the common people of the clan than he was a real person.
Of course, there were people like Ian an Abigail who understood all the good that Finlay did, but then people like Angus could allow their anger to fester without being given any reminders why Finlay was a good man.
They saw him as the cause of all their problems, and the obvious solution was to remove him.
If things were going to change for the better, then Finlay needed to make himself more open to his clan, and that was perhaps going to be the biggest challenge facing Elspeth yet.
She arched her eyebrows and exhaled deeply as she thought about the task ahead.
The hardest thing in the world to change was a man’s habits.
It was as difficult as getting a river to flow in a different direction, and she didn’t envy herself the task of changing Finlay’s habits.
Men were stubborn by nature and him more than most.
Still, a smile played upon her lips. Despite the tragedy of the circumstances surrounding her, Elspeth was enjoying having these things to worry about.
She had gone from concerning herself only with matters of the home to thinking about her future and an entire clan.
It was quite the change in perspective, and she realized that she still had a lot to learn about being the lady of the house.
There were nuances to ruling a clan that she had yet to be made aware of.
She was sure that Islay would be more suited to a life like this, as she would have had the proper lessons given by her father.
Elspeth was just a common girl trying to do the best she could, trying to live by the instincts of her heart.
Life could be so complicated, but there had to be a happy medium between letting these men go and executing them.
As she thought about how much her life had changed, her mind drifted towards Aileen and Eoin.
In the grand scheme of things, she hadn’t been parted from them for that long, but so much had happened that it felt like a lifetime.
She hoped that Eoin was well and behaving himself.
Boys could be trouble, and there was no telling how he would react to losing both his father and Elspeth in quick succession.
While Elspeth loved her aunt, she was not always the most nurturing spirit, and Eoin might well find himself disagreeing with many of her rules for the house.
She intended to see them as soon as possible when this was all over.
She wanted to take Finlay to Kilin as well, partly to show her the place in which she grew up, but also to show him what a community could be.
Laird Gallach was practically the opposite in manner to his nephew, and she felt there were a few pertinent lessons that could be learned there.
If Finlay could open his mind to them, of course.
She was overwhelmed with a sense of nausea as she was walking through the gardens.
She was heading to the stables when she had to steady herself against the trees.
She almost swooned and had to clutch her stomach.
She groaned as she breathed deeply, composing herself.
It seemed as though she had not quite recovered from the ordeal yet, and she wondered when these feelings would subside.
She was quite tired of feeling fatigued and aching, and all she wanted was for it to be over so she could fully throw herself into her marriage and enjoy all the things that she wanted to enjoy with Finlay.
She was eager to continue with her project as well, for she wanted to remind Finlay how beautiful the world could be.
She felt that he had lost his way somewhat, and he needed reminding.
The tree was sturdy. Its bark was rough against her palm.
The leaves swayed gently in the breeze, and it was all rather peaceful.
However, while she was resting, she looked up, and in the distance, she saw something that made her throat run dry.
She blinked, not entirely certain of what she was seeing, but the longer she stared, the surer she was.
There was a figure there, a man most likely, standing cloaked in the veil of the forest. Tension dripped through her, and an icy chill ran down her spine.
She swallowed a lump in her throat and retreated behind the tree, hiding herself from view in case the man should see her.
She cradled the thick trunk and was thankful that her figure was slim so that she might easily hide.
She peered around the side of the tree, only showing one eye, and hoped that she would be able to blend in with the natural foliage in case this man should turn around.
It was difficult to tell who he was or what he was wearing; the forest provided enough cover for him that all she could make out was the shadowy figure.
In truth, she wasn’t even sure that she was seeing anything at all.
Her mind swam and she wondered if it was some illusion brought on by everything she had been through.
Sometimes when she closed her eyes, she still saw Angus lunging towards her, knife in hand, ready to strip her of everything she had.
She glanced across to the stables. There was a path she could take that would obscure her from the man’s view, and at least when she was in the stables, she would know she was safe.
The last thing she wanted was to be alone again.
Nervously, she walked away towards the stables.
She passed through the trees, forcing herself to move slowly even though her heart beat as frantically as a trapped bird’s.
Her neck was twisted, and she continued to stare at the man.
Occasionally she lost sight of him, and she had to search the forest for him again; there was a sharp intake of breath when her gaze settled back on him.
It felt as though needles were being pricked into her skin as she marched towards the stables, for she was well aware that if she could see him then he could see her, and if he so wanted, he might be able to capture her and take her away from Finlay once again.
She had been fortunate the first time that Finlay had been able to rescue her before any lasting damage was done, but would she be so lucky the second time?
She hated asking herself questions she did not know the answers to.
The forest opened to a field. Elspeth tore her gaze away from the man so he would not suspect that he had been seen.
She held her head up high and walked as casually as she possibly could, acting as though nothing was amiss.
When she reached the stables, she waved to the stableman and gnarled man about the same age as her father called Jesp.
He smiled and nodded. His hair was the color of straw.
His face was flat and square. He smelled of the stables and wiped his hands with a cloth when Elspeth approached, before mopping his forehead with the same cloth.
“Morning, my lady. Are ye here tae spend some time with the horses again? I think Cloud has taken a liking tae ye,” he said, jerking his head towards a white horse.