Chapter 9
Niall was waiting for her as Moira returned to the castle. His mood was somber, as she expected, and when he ate, he did so methodically, as though he took no enjoyment from the act.
The air was tense in the castle, and Moira was tense herself, unable to set aside what Grizel had told her. Isobel was still by Jamie’s bedside, not daring to leave it until he became well again.
“What happened taeday?” Moira asked.
Niall leaned on the table and hung his head. Suddenly, he looked older than his years.
“I was in a meeting when I got word that Jamie was sick. I rushed tae his side, but he was already feverish.”
Moira was still a little confused. “Niall, I dinnae mean tae be uncaring, but why is everyone sae worried? Hae naebody ever got sick before?”
“Ye hae tae understand that us Calbraiths are a hardy lot and we rarely ever get sick. It is something of pride that we are strong and healthy, and Jamie especially haes never been ill. Tae see him like that…it is worrying indeed.” He wore a grave expression.
“He haes spent all his life making himself appear strong and yet now he seems sae weak…”
“Perhaps it is the spirits…” Moira said, almost under her breath.
Niall glanced up and glowered at her.
“What?” he snapped.
Moira stammered and felt as though she had said something wrong. “I didnae mean anything by it...it’s just that I saw Grizel outside, and she said that Jamie never haed anything kind tae say about the spirits. I couldnae help but notice there was no wreath over his bed either.”
Niall rolled his eyes. “Moira, I know ye hae spent the day with Isobel, but I haed hoped ye wouldnae believe all these old tales. If there are spirits, I’m sure they hae better things tae dae with their time than make my brother ill.
” His tone was harsh. Moira told herself that she was worried about Jamie and she shouldn’t take it personally, but it didn’t make it any easier to handle.
She hated when men got angry because they could be so spiteful and intimidating.
It made her think of what Marcas used to be like until Kirsten arrived.
Since then, and especially with the arrival of his children, he had mellowed and his mood had been softened.
Moira wondered if the same would be true of Niall.
“I’m sorry for saying sae,” she said. “I dinnae mean any harm by it.”
“I know. I would just rather find a solution than leave it in the hands of the spirits. Spirits are nae gaeing tae help us now.”
“What will?” she asked.
Niall exhaled deeply and leaned back in his chair. He had taken a few bites of his meal, but mostly he had moved the food around. He looked to the ceiling and arched his eyebrows, trying to find salvation in anything around him.
“I hae been speaking with the healers, and they believe it is something he ate or drank.”
Moira felt her stomach twist in knots, as symptoms like these were all too familiar. Her mind flashed back to her dying mother and her poisoned brother, and all the trouble it had entailed...and the man in the middle of it—her uncle Roderick.
He had wielded nature as a weapon, seeking to poison Marcas to take the clan for himself since he believed he was the rightful ruler. Marcas had almost died, and her mother had died because of him. Could someone have poisoned Jamie? Could it have been Roderick?
“Poison?” she gasped.
Niall shrugged. “I cannae say. Poison would usually work more quickly. Could be that the boy is simply ill, but even sae, it’s strange enough that it makes me worried.
We hae lost sae much, and Jamie…he’s been hardheaded but he’s still my wee brother.
I cannae let anything happen tae him.” As he said this, his voice cracked and he bowed his head.
Sorrow came pouring out of him, and Moira rushed to his side.
She put her arm around his neck and tried to soothe him, whispering sweet things and telling him that everything was going to be fine, even though she could not promise such a thing.
Niall sobbed for a few moments before he steeled himself against his emotions and drew himself up into a rigid sitting position.
He wiped his eyes and patted Moira’s hand.
“I’m glad ye are here, Moira. I dinnae know how I would be able tae make it through without ye. Ye are a treasure.”
Moira blushed and thanked him.
“I appreciate yer kind words, Niall, although I’m sure that ye would be able to find a way. Ye hae a family and ye would look after each other. How is Isobel?”
“Still worried. Still by Jamie’s bedside,” Niall said, allowing himself a wry smile. “There are sae many times when she would have us believe that she hates us for nae agreeing with her about the spirits, but in times like these, she shows how much she cares.”
“It’s such a shame this happened. Isobel and I haed a good day taegether, and I was looking forward tae spending time with Jamie as well.”
“Aye, well, I hope ye get a chance,” Niall said. The smile faded from his face; he looked somber. Shadows formed around his eyes as he gazed into the distance, into a terrible future. Moira knew how quickly fear could turn into despair and how it could seem as though everything was slipping away.
She didn’t want that to happen to her husband, and she was going to do anything she could to prevent it. She kissed his forehead and once again promised that everything was going to be fine and that Jamie would be healthy again, even though in her heart she had her doubt.
“The worst thing is that I cannae dae anything. There is no army tae fight or bargain with. There is no monster tae slay. All I can dae is sit and wait and hope…and I hae never been very good at daeing any of those things. Whenever there’s a problem, I want tae fix it.
But what am I supposed tae dae when there is naething I can dae? ”
Moira thought back to the grim time when Kirsten had been thrown into the dungeon and Marcas was struggling for his life.
“I’ve been where ye are now, and it isnae easy. Ye are always questioning if there’s more ye could dae, even though ye know there is nae. It’s easy tae drive yerself crazy thinking about all these different things.”
“And how did ye cope?”
“I did anything I could tae take my mind off things. I arranged flowers, I sewed fabric, I spent time in the kitchen cooking meals…anything tae try and distract myself.”
“And did it work?”
“It helped a wee bit, which is better than nae at all. Come on, Niall, will ye let me help ye?” she asked, her voice filled with hope.
She opened her palms to him. Niall looked at them, as though deciding whether he was going to take them or remain in this gloom.
Moira was delighted when he placed his hands in hers and rose from the table.
She didn’t yet know how she was going to distract him, although an idea was already beginning to form in her mind.
“What dae ye hae in mind, then? I hae tae admit that I am nae good at the things ye distracted yerself with. I dinnae suppose ye hae a good hunt in mind? That usually does the trick, although it’s a wee bit late tae gae on a hunt now.
” Niall peered out the window at the evening twilight.
There were still a couple of hours of daylight left, but it would fade quickly and it would be easy to lose track of prey in the evening gloom.
“Something like a hunt,” Moira said with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “I thought we could play a game.”
Niall tilted his head and looked intrigued at this.
His dark eyes shimmered with delight as he followed Moira outside, and she was glad that she could do something like this for her husband.
She knew what it was like to suffer alone, to be plagued with guilt and the feeling of impotence, and she wanted to do anything she could to prevent Niall from succumbing to the same curse.
It was clear to her that Jamie meant the world to him, and Niall was liable to drive himself insane if he was left to his own devices.
But Niall had Moira, and it was time to prove herself worthy of being his wife.
There was more to their marriage than simply being a symbol of peace between the two clans.
There was a layer of intimacy between them as well, one that meant they would protect and help each other. Their marriage was still in the process of flourishing, but Moira was beginning to understand what being a wife truly meant.