Chapter 28 #2
“I only hope this lass doesnae share me daughter’s fate.”
Jack’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I hope so, too,” he said evenly.
His words were plain, and his tone was calm. Yet Emma saw the storm in his eyes as the couple slipped into the room.
Ava stepped up to her sister and exhaled. “That was brave.”
“Or foolish,” Emma muttered.
“Sometimes they are the same thing,” Ava said, then slipped away to help a maid untangle a vine from a table.
Emma stood there for a moment, then moved back into the bustle. She carried a tray of cups to the end of the table and told a harried boy where to set the bread.
She took a deep breath and let the din in the hall fill her senses so that her thoughts had less room to stray. Every so often, she would meet Jack’s gaze across the space, and each time he would look away first to speak to a footman or to shake a friend’s hand.
He could tell too, could he nae? Something is off with his former in-laws.
The late afternoon light settled by the time she and Ava slipped back into her chamber. The fire was low and steady, and Stella slept in her cradle with one fist against her cheek. The wedding gown hung by the fireplace and caught the light like a gold coin.
Emma stared at it, unsure what to feel. It was as if the gown itself held every aspect of her life. It represented her future and what she saw herself becoming. What it didn’t tell her was whether this would be the biggest accomplishment of her life.
Or the biggest regret.
She shuffled her feet, stifling a cough that tickled the back of her throat gently.
Ava walked further in and tilted her chin toward the dress. “There it is.”
Emma nodded, exhaling loudly. “There it is.”
“Tomorrow, ye’ll become Lady MacLeod.”
Emma gave a soft laugh. “So it seems. I thought I’d have more time to think.”
“Would it have changed anything if ye did?”
“Maybe. Maybe nae.”
Emma moved to the window to watch the maids and grooms move back and forth. Her eyes landed on a corner of the courtyard where she saw a maid and one of the guards talking. She recognized the smile on the maid’s face and the red hue that crept up her cheeks.
A part of her had always thought that was the kind of love she would get. As a poet, she had always thought that was what she deserved, nothing else.
Now, she knew she couldn’t get that.
Jack had not courted her. At least not formally. Their story was probably the most unconventional one that had led to marriage. But she had freedom and peace of mind.
At the end of the day, that was what mattered.
Yet her gaze wouldn’t leave the two lovebirds talking below. She watched the guard pull the maid in by the waist and watched the maid giggle in response.
If she was satisfied with her decision, why in God’s name was she still looking? Why was her heart heavy with thoughts that wouldn’t go away? Did she want more than freedom and convenience with Jack?
“Emma—”
Her mind flashed to the adventures she had had with him since she had arrived at the castle. The dance at the cèilidh, the training sessions, that moment in the library.
The library.
“Emma—”
She squeezed her eyes shut and let the late afternoon breeze caress her face. Perhaps she wanted more than just convenience. Perhaps in the four days she had spent trying to get him to convince her to stay, she had fallen in love with him.
No, not perhaps. She was in love with him.
“Emma!”
Her eyes shot open, breaking her reverie. She must have been lost in thought for far too long. She exhaled and tore her gaze from the window, settling it on her sister once again.
“Are ye all right?”
“Aye. Me apologies, I must have—”
“Aye, ye must have.” Ava stepped forward. “Ye do want to proceed with this wedding, do ye nae?”
Emma laughed. “Of course I do. I suppose I just thought everything was happening too fast.”
Ava drew a stool close and sat down. “Listen. Whatever comes of it, I’ll be here. If ye find joy, I’ll rejoice with ye. If it turns bad, I’ll stand by ye. Ye’ve been by me side me whole life. The least I can do now is return the favor.”
Emma turned back, the corner of her mouth quirking up. “Ye make it sound as if I’m marching to war.”
“Marriage can be, if the wrong general leads.” Ava’s smile warmed. “But ye’ll hold yer own.”
Emma touched the sleeve of the gown. The silk felt cool and smooth. “I daenae ken if holding me own will be enough.”
“It will,” Ava assured her. “And if it isnae, I’ll be by yer side.”
They fell quiet. The wind whipped at the window and then ebbed. From below, laughter rose—probably from the guests.
Ava spoke without looking away from the cradle. “Do ye want this, Emma?”
Emma pondered the question for a moment. “I want the baby safe,” she replied. “I want a life that makes sense.” She breathed out. “And I want to stop running from what is already in front of me.”
Ava nodded. “That sounds like wanting him, at least a little.”
Emma did not answer. She let her hand rest on the gown’s bodice, then pressed down the silk as if testing a seam.
“Ma will fuss in the morning,” Ava added, her voice lighter now. “She’ll weep into her handkerchief and say something ridiculous, like ye look like a saint carved from candlelight.”
“She had better nae start before I’m dressed. I have me own anxiety to deal with. I cannae face hers as well,” Emma drawled, and the sisters shared a quiet smile.
A log popped in the grate. Stella sighed in her sleep and stilled again. Ava rose and checked the blanket, then tucked a stray curl behind the child’s ear.
“Should we let her sleep this much?” she whispered. “She may nae let us sleep later tonight.”
“We will deal with the trouble when it comes,” Emma replied.
“That’s all anyone can do.” Ava slipped her hand into her sister’s and squeezed. “Start with tomorrow and leave the rest to God.”
Emma nodded.
The light outside was dimming by the second, and she knew that sooner or later, dusk would fall. It was quite funny how, for the whole day, she had no sense of time.
Ava gently stroked Stella’s cheeks as more thoughts flooded Emma’s mind. Eventually, she turned to her twin, a grateful smile on her face.
“Thank ye,” she said.
“For what?”
“For supporting me, I suppose.”
Ava leaned her shoulder against Emma’s. “We’re twins. I have nothing to do but support ye.”
They stayed at the window while the sun took its time to set.
Ava gave her hand a last squeeze and stepped back. “I’ll send Lara to help with the laces,” she announced. “Sleep while ye can.”
“I will,” Emma said. “Ye can also help me take Stella to the nursery. I need some time alone.”
Ava nodded, took one more look at the gown, and grabbed the sleeping baby. By some miracle, Stella didn’t fuss.
Taking one more look at her sister, Ava slipped out, quiet as a shadow.
Emma stood alone in the silence. She touched the sleeve once more, then let the fabric fall. The air felt tense and completely still. So still that she could hear the whispers that slipped past her lips.
“Let this be the right choice.”