Chapter 18
Sam
Ijumped down from my pickup into my driveway, and my knees screamed in response.
I was dog tired. That was basically a permanent state of being at this point.
I had given my staff either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day off and worked them both myself.
Now it was almost lunch time on Boxing Day and the first time I had been home in forty-eight hours.
Jack, Katie, and the brats should already be here to spend the afternoon together and have a belated Christmas dinner. Luckily, Emma and Oliver had enough energy for everyone. I just hoped it was contagious.
Christmas lights colored the snow as I crunched through it on my way to my front door. Like most kids, the brats loved everything to do with Christmas, so I’d gotten my butt on a ladder and hung the lights in November.
Before I had even reached the front step, the door was ripped open by Katie. “Welcome home, boss. Merry Christmas.” She was always in a good mood, but there was a twinkle in her eye that I had learned meant trouble.
I just hoped she didn’t have a goofy Christmas sweater she expected me to wear.
“Merry Christmas.” I gave her a one-armed hug as I set my stuff down.
“What’s going on?” I looked around. Santa had clearly visited my house while I was at work.
I had put up a tree, again to keep the brats happy, but the number of gifts beneath it had quadrupled.
Stockings and garland decorated the mantle, and Christmas coloring books and markers littered my coffee table.
It also smelled like fresh-baked cookies, and I hoped the smell wasn’t coming from one of those scented candles Katie insisted on burning around the holidays.
Oliver barrelled over and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I missed you.”
One of the things I loved most about kids was their honesty. If they missed someone, they said it. “Missed you too, buddy.” A lump tried to form in my throat, but I chalked it up to exhaustion and swallowed it back.
Oliver pulled back and thrust a picture he had colored into my hands. “I colored this for you!”
“Wow, that looks great. I love all the red and green. Did you get the coloring book from Santa?”
Oliver shook his head no. “I got it from—”
Jack cleared his throat loudly, and Oliver looked over his shoulder at his father. Something passed between father and son.
Oliver turned back to me and said robotically, “Yes, I got it from Santa, and small fibs are okay but only if Dad says so.”
I gave my brother a questioning look, but he just shrugged. “Merry Christmas, Sam. You look like shit, by the way.”
I grunted my agreement. “Merry Christmas, everyone.” It was good to be home and with family. Katie and Oliver were working on more coloring at the table. Jack was watching an old movie on the TV. “Where’s—”
“Uncle Sam!” Emma came flying around the corner from the kitchen and threw herself around my legs.
I bent down and wrapped my arms around her tiny frame. She was wearing a bright green T-shirt with candy canes on it and a smile that reached both her ears. “What is all over your face?” I wiped at what I suspected was chocolate with my thumb.
She grinned. “I made chocolate chip cookies. Come and see.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me into the kitchen.
I rounded the familiar doorway and stopped dead in my tracks.
AJ stood in my kitchen. “Cookie?” she asked, then bit her lip.
She wore blue jeans and a red sweater with the sleeves rolled up. Her hair was piled on top of her head with pieces escaping around her face. She held a plate of cookies out to me, and I grabbed one automatically. I didn’t trust myself to speak.
“AJ and I made them together. I cracked the eggs without getting any shells in the batter. I didn’t use a measuring cup for the chocolate chips.
AJ says you measure those with your heart, and I guess my heart really loves chocolate.
” Emma babbled excitedly at my side, completely unaware that reliable, dependable Uncle Sam’s palms were sweating, and his heart had dropped into his stomach.
I tore my gaze away from AJ and knelt down in front of Emma. I took a giant bite. “These are the best things I have ever tasted.”
Emma beamed and jumped up and down a few times.
“Can you go and bring one to your brother while I talk to AJ?”
Emma grabbed the whole plate and scampered away.
AJ pushed a strand of hair off her face and wiped her hands on a tea towel.
God, she looked good. I had missed her. I’d thought of nothing but her over the last few days, and now she was here, in my house, with my family—on Christmas.
Still, my instinct was to protect my heart after how things had ended.
“If you’re here for a receipt, you’ll have to get it from Myra when she is back in the office tomorrow. ”
She flinched and looked down at her feet. “I deserved that.”
I put the cookie down on the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. “What are you doing here, AJ?”
She leaned her hip against the counter as if she belonged here and cleared her throat. “I screwed up, Sam.”
I loved the way my name sounded on her tongue. The way her words were directed at me, the man, and not me, the boss, uncle, or tow truck driver.
“I got so caught up in winning a contest with my ex that I missed the fresh start that was standing right in front of me. I want to say to you what I should have said at the airport. If you want me to leave after that, I will.”
I studied her face, the pleading in her eyes. The set line of her lip. Of course I would hear her out.
I nodded.
She stepped forward and rested her hands against my tightly crossed forearms. “The twenty-four hours we spent together on that highway were life changing for me. I’m not ready for them to be over.
I can’t predict the future, but for now, I just want to spend more time with you, maybe under you.
” She bumped my shoulder with hers, and I couldn’t help but smirk.
“Can we pick up where we left off? Can you forgive me for walking away?”
It was exactly what I had wanted to hear a few days before. Confirmation that this thing between us wasn’t one sided, and that the deadline of her trip wasn’t also the end of our time together. I wasn’t naive, though. Her being here right now was a good sign, but had anything really changed?
“I want to,” I said.
“But?”
“But I’m a simple guy, AJ, as you so kindly pointed out the first time we met.”
She blushed, and the corner of her lip ticked up.
“I know how important your career is to you. I can’t compete with a twenty-four-seven job, and it isn’t fair of me to ask you to change. Being with me means being with the brats too. They deserve more than broken promises.”
She sucked in a deep breath. “You’re right.”
My heart clenched in my chest, and I shifted away.
“I have a but too: But I made one promise to Emma, and I kept it. I don’t have the same priorities as I did when I got on that flight.”
God, how I wanted to believe that. I ran a hand through my hair. I still hadn’t gotten it cut. Just one more thing I hadn’t had time for. “What’s changed for you, AJ?” I wanted to touch her so badly that my palms itched, but I couldn’t start something if it was doomed to fail.
“I didn’t do the pitch.” She took a small step back and started to pace.
“I was planning to do it when I got on the plane. I was hoping once I had finally gotten where I wanted to be at work, I could reach out to you. That maybe we could pick up where we left off.” She shook her head.
“I realized how selfish that would be. How a relationship could never be a good one if priority one was a job I hate.”
My heart was pounding in my chest, but I didn’t dare interrupt her.
Finally, she stopped pacing and turned to face me. “I quit, Sam.”
My eyes locked on hers, and I closed the space between us.
“I’m starting my own freelance design business.
I’m already working on the website. I wanted to show you, not just tell you, that I understand that being with you meant committing to the kids too.
” She shrugged as if it was nothing. “I can set my own hours and pretty much work from anywhere: Kamloops, or Hope. I could even work from the passenger seat of a tow truck.”
I brought my hands to the sides of her face and stroked her cheek with my thumb, no longer able to stand not touching her. “Are you sure that’s what you want? I want you to be happy, and I know your job was—”
“It didn’t make me happy, but you do. I want to work so I can live, not live to work. Not anymore.”
I brought my face to hers and kissed her like I had wanted to during the long hours we had been apart. When we finally broke apart, I rested my forehead on hers. “Merry Christmas, AJ.”
“Merry Christmas, Sam.”