Chapter 3
Jake
Good thing I am sitting at a table.
As soon as the words desire, please, and dirty came from Natalie’s mouth in the same sentence, I was hard.
Knowing that sex was running through her mind when she was sitting close enough to touch wasn’t helping.
I had the day off and was debating stopping into the library when I spotted a familiar silhouette in the coffee shop lineup.
I had come to the conclusion during my last shift that the audiobooks were a great distraction, but that they weren’t preventing the anxiety the way I had hoped.
Still, I liked having them and I liked having a reason to see Natalie even more.
“Take pity on me and ignore what I just said.” She took a delicate sip from her cup leaving a perfect red lip print behind.
“Alright, fine.” I’d have loved to talk more about dirty things with Natalie, but I was happy just to sit with her and talk about anything. “So why were you getting dirty if it was someone else’s job?”
She pursed her lips at my use of the word dirty.
Was there anything this girl did that wasn’t adorable as fuck?
“A coworker asked me to take her shift today and, well, I am a sucker, so I did it.”
I frowned. I didn’t like to hear that someone was taking advantage of her apparent love of helping people. “I don’t think you’re a sucker.”
She looked intently at her cup. “I am though. I’m addicted to helping people.”
“Well, it makes you really good at your job, and if you weren’t such an amazing librarian we wouldn’t have met and become friends.”
Friends.
I hated that word. I hated that it meant there was a table between us, rather than my arm around her shoulders.
I hated that I knew I should leave her alone, but I couldn’t stay away.
Most of all, I hated that the one thing stopping me from asking her out was the one thing I couldn’t figure out how to control.
My anxiety and panic while working wasn’t something I could ignore.
I needed to focus on dealing with it and not get distracted by a new relationship.
Yet here I was, watching her mouth as it moved.
Touching her hand when I had an excuse. Torturing myself with what could be if only I could figure out a solution to this shitty situation.
“So, why didn’t you say no to this newspaper situation?” My coffee was more than halfway done, and it felt like an hourglass counting down to when she would have to leave.
She sighed. “I should have. I just can’t stand saying no to people. I take extra shifts. I’m doing most of the work for a coworker’s retirement party. I once babysat a neighbor’s five-foot-long pet snake while they were on vacation. I was terrified of it.”
“Sounds like people know you will say yes, so they come to you.”
She dismissively waved a hand. “I don’t mind.
Well, usually I don’t mind.” She paused and I waited her out.
“Actually, you know what?” She leaned in.
“I do mind. I mind most of the time. I love helping people with books. It’s my passion.
It’s my job. I work hard at it, and I deserve to have my time be mine.
Not spent on everyone else’s projects and responsibilities. ”
“Damn right, you do.”
“There are a lot of caring people who work with me, we could all take turns being the ones to step up.”
“Of course.”
“You know what I am going to do next time someone asks me for something?”
I took a swig of coffee and shook my head.
She exhaled and slumped in her chair. “I’m going to say yes then regret it later. Why kid myself?”
“You’ll get to that no someday.”
“Someday.”
“They don’t make them like you anymore.” I had never met anyone like her. She was magnetic. Sweet. Cute. Kind. Smart. Caring. I barely knew her and yet I felt like I’d known her forever.
She snorted. “I’m sure that’s for the good of humanity.
” She took a sip of her drink and when she put it back on the table it made a distinctive hollow sound.
Her latte was done, and our time together was up.
“I should head back to work.” She started to gather her bag and her dirty little book but paused.
“Thanks for letting me vent. I usually keep this stuff to myself. I don’t know why I let it all out with you. ”
My chest puffed up like a peacock. She trusted me. The woman who was always helping others, for just a moment, let me be there for her. It was a win. Not a gold medal win, but I was sure as hell getting close to the podium.