Chapter 6
Nate
Ipulled onto Liz’s street and started looking for her building.
I’d only been there once before and wasn’t sure if I remembered which unit was hers.
When I spotted a familiar parking lot, I pulled in and puttered slowly up the main row.
I spotted the parking spot I remembered when I’d given her a ride home.
A silver car was parked in the spot, so I pulled into a vacant visitor spot.
I had never seen her car before and had no idea if the silver one was hers or not.
I got off my bike and started walking back towards her place.
I’d called her half a dozen times after she ran out of our lesson yesterday and she hadn’t picked up.
Did I do something to upset her? Trigger her?
Had I pushed her too far? Not knowing exactly what she had faced in the past was a big obstacle in training her.
I thought I had trained enough survivors of assaults that I could train her without causing her more stress.
Or maybe it had nothing to do with that.
The possible reasons why she ran out and was now ghosting me were endless, and I was at a total loss.
Maybe she had remembered she left the stove on, fuck if I knew.
As her trainer, I had to know she was okay.
On the other hand, after being betrayed by my wife and best friend at the same time, secrecy always set my teeth on edge.
I couldn’t stand not knowing anymore, so after work, I hopped on my bike and headed out looking for some answers.
I’d have checked in on any client under these circumstances, but it felt more personal with Liz.
She felt like more than just a client. In the few minutes of chatting before or after class, I had learned she was new to town and had come here for a fresh start.
She was brave, kicking ass in a man’s world, facing the ugly conditions on the highway day in and day out.
The fact that we had an interest in fitness in common was good too.
I wanted to know more about her. Everything about her.
Including what made her smile and why she pursued self-defence training in the first place.
I was just scanning my eyes over the front of the building when the door to the unit I was pretty sure was hers opened.
It was not her that walked out. My stomach clenched as a man sauntered out like he belonged there.
He was tall and broad, exactly the kind of guy I was sure she would go for.
She was a gym rat and valued her own muscles.
No reason why she wouldn’t want the same in a guy.
He wore a pair of faded jeans and pulled his hood up over his head as soon as he stepped out the door.
I didn’t get a good look at his face, but I was sure I saw the hint of a smile there.
He jiggled the door handle, seemingly to make sure it was locked before jogging down the steps and towards the silver car.
I stopped and watched him go. Logically, I knew there could be a million explanations as to why he was there that didn’t involve him fucking the woman I couldn’t stop thinking about.
He could be a friend, her brother, a coworker.
Hell, this might not even be her condo. Still, somewhere deep in my chest, I popped a stitch on the wound my ex had created and then another.
She told me she moved here after breaking up with a long-term boyfriend.
I had assumed that meant she was still single, but maybe I was wrong.
I’d thought of nothing but this girl since I’d first laid eyes on her.
I thought it meant I was almost ready to get out there again.
To take a chance, or have some fun, or picture a future that wasn’t just me being bitter in my studio while being tough for my kid.
I was wrong. If I was ready, I would be disappointed right now instead I was in pain.
This fucking hurt. I watched the silver car drive away and went back to my bike to do the same.
It was for the best if her running out meant she didn’t want to train with me anymore.
Clearly, I needed some distance. I wasn’t about to move in on another guy’s girl, that wasn’t me, but it was getting impossible to treat her like just another client.
I got home to a silent house. Regina and I had bought a three bedroom house in a neighbourhood outside of downtown just before Paisley was born. I’d bought her out of the mortgage when we got divorced and she moved in with Kevin.
Paisley was at Regina’s place tonight. I sunk into the couch and picked up a doll from where Paisley had left it on the floor.
There was something so fucking sad about a toy with no kid there to play with it.
Her unicorn sheets were pushed back with no one for me to tuck in.
When I lost my wife and my best friend, I lost access to part of my daughter’s life too.
Kids grow up way too fast and the idea of missing a smile or a laugh had my stomach in knots.
I picked up my phone and hit the video call button on my ex’s name.
“Hi, dad.” Paisley was holding the phone way too close to her face so all I could see was her eyes and forehead.
My heart felt lighter as soon as I saw her face. “Hi, Sunshine, how was school?”
“Good.” She held up her favorite stuffed bunny, who had started life as pink but was now a threadbare off-white.
“How was your day?” she asked in a fake voice she used for the bunny.
We talked for a few minutes about nothing in particular and then I heard a voice in the background. “Mom wants to talk to you.”
This should be good.
I understood that she had fallen out of love with me.
I understood that she had fallen for Kevin.
What I didn’t understand was why she was so fucking hostile towards me when I was trying my best to keep it civil.
It was impossible to be cool as a cucumber all the time.
Seeing another man with his lips on the woman who had worn my ring only a year ago was jarring.
There was no point pretending it wasn’t.
We had to keep things as smooth as possible for Paisley.
I reminded myself of that over and over as the phone switched hands.
“Hey, Regina, how’s it going?”
“Did you pay for her school fees when you dropped her off today?” She wasn’t even looking in my direction.
“No, I have a reminder in my phone to do it on Friday.”
“Well, they have to be paid by Friday so, you better not forget.”
My teeth ground together. She made me feel like I was failing but snapping at her now wouldn’t magically make my life make sense again. I just nodded and hung up. My track record with having women talk to me wasn’t great over the last few days and I had no desire to make it worse.