Chapter Two
Joy
Iwatched Alden, my teenage—and apparently current—crush, walk out the front door of the library and breathed a sigh.
He had the same thick dark hair I remembered, although now it extended into a beard along his jaw. His brows were low over his eyes, making him look somewhere between pissed off and weary.
His eyes themselves, though, had changed. They were still a beautiful shade of chocolate brown, but now there was a heaviness to them. A weight I didn’t think had anything to do with his current writing assignment.
I could only imagine what he’d seen in his years as a reporter. I had often watched him on the news, even as he switched from one network to another. It was sometimes nice to see his face and hear his thoughts on the world. Other times, it was just scary.
I had seen him report from war zones, a bulletproof vest on his chest, a chopper waiting in the background. I’d seen him standing in an active fire zone, sparks and ash dancing around him, wind whipping his hair, smoke so thick I didn’t know how he could breathe.
Catastrophe after catastrophe, he had been there.
Now that he was home, I could breathe a sigh of relief, but it also gave me other ideas. Ideas that were only dangerous if my feelings for him were one-sided. Ideas involving romance that were anything but fictional.
He was home just in time for Christmas. It was too perfect an opportunity to ignore.
I had always noticed him, ever since I started paying attention to guys in general.
He had intense eyes, dark features, and broad shoulders.
Teenaged boys were a rowdy bunch, so he had his moments, but most of the time, he had a serious, calm energy about him.
I liked to travel in a cyclone of chaos and bright colors.
Being around him felt like taking a Xanax.
He tempered down my more eccentric impulses, and I was able to drag him out of his head from time to time.
It wasn’t that we were super close. We had friends in common and would see each other at parties or whatever. We also had a few classes together.
We were partnered up for an English presentation once. I was instantly thinking of the presentation portion. A big splashy backboard with pictures and facts and colors.
He challenged me to think more deeply and thoroughly explore the points we wanted to make. He kept us to a timeline. I ensured the presentation reflected the hard work we put in.
Between the two of us, we aced the assignment. And I knew we were that kind of different but compatible that just clicked.
It was opposites attract, but it was more than that.
I hadn’t confessed my crush when we were teenagers. I knew he had been planning to move to Vancouver or Calgary for university, and I wanted to stay here. The timing was wrong, but maybe the guy had always been right.
Maybe our timing was now.
Or maybe I’m a delusional dreamer who lives in a land of fiction and happily ever after.
******
Over the next few days, I didn’t see Alden in the library, although that wasn’t for a lack of looking. My eyes were stuck to the front door anytime I was near it. I even went so far as to look up his account to see if he had checked out anything new.
Nothing.
I flip-flopped on what to do about him as the week went on. His number was on file, so I could call him. But was that too much? It was probably frowned upon by library management at the very least.
Should I wait for him to come back to the library and feel him out? I wasn’t used to being indecisive, and it was driving me crazy. This might be my only chance at having something with him. I was paralyzed by the fear of the unknown.
All week at the library, we had holiday-themed events, story time with Santa, crafts, and hot chocolate. There was the Santa Claus parade, DIY Christmas cards, and a holiday theme for the book club. I knew Alden wasn’t a joiner per se, but surely, he would show up for something.
But no.
He was nothing if not consistent.
It was my favorite time of the year, but his absence kept me preoccupied. I knew he was single, but did that mean I should take my chance?
Christmas Eve rolled around, and it was a busy one at the library.
Our regulars knew we were closed for a few days and needed enough books to last them until the 27th.
It wasn’t until half an hour before closing that I had a chance to check in a few returned items. As I went through the familiar routine, I recognized a few of the titles.
They were the books I had put on hold for Alden.
I bit my lip, weighing the books in my hands. I could either put them on the shelf and wait for him to pick them up after the holiday, or I could check them out on his behalf and deliver them to him in person.
His address was in the system. And really, it was just good customer service, right?
As far as I could remember, there was only one thing I’d wanted in my life and not gone after.
Now he lived in a cabin just outside of town.
The idea of going all the way there just to have him say thanks and shut the door in my face was at the front of my mind.
This man had been my fantasy for over half my life, so to have that be over… I wasn’t sure I could handle that.
Then again, at least I would know. If casual acquaintances were all we would ever be, maybe it was better to finally know and move on.
My coworker Grace came in and glanced at the books in my hand. “Where do those go?”
I licked my lips. It was decision time. “These are mine. They’re coming home with me.”