Chapter Twelve
The Last Shithole on Earth
The parents, being parents, picked up on it as soon as they got home. Trenton hadn’t even finished filling the kettle before they were on them. Albert was the one intensive enough to actually ask. “So, did he propose?”
Anyone else would have choked. Trenton was beaming. “Yes.”
“I didn’t!”
Annette’s mood was nothing like her husband’s, scowling as badly as she had been when Trenton had dropped the bomb about not going to college. “Of course he didn’t. Stop filling their heads with nonsense. They have exams this week.”
It was a fresh dose of reality. As much as Hilary was looking forward to Christmas break, there were all the finals to get through first.
“The exams won’t be a problem,” Trenton said. “But I do want to speak to you about after that once Hilary moves out.”
Albert’s attention was caught. “Oh?”
Annette slammed down the roasting pan. “Why would you move out? We have a nice university within commuting distance.”
Trenton set down the mugs he was holding, the green and pink set they’d found at a flea market on one of their Wednesday hooky dates. “Because Hilary wants to have sex.”
Albert sprayed the room, the counter, and his wife with the diet coke he’d so confidently tried to drink.
Annette didn’t so much as blink. “He can have sex after college."
Poor Albert was still coughing. Some of the soda must have gone down the wrong pipe. But Hilary couldn’t spare any sympathy for the man. Not when he was determined to die.
He fled to his room, throwing himself down on his bed with the intention of suffocating himself there in the blankets, somehow still furious at just how long it took Trenton to come after him to be yelled at.
“You don’t even love me!”
Trenton was on him in a moment, the full breadth of that chest at his back as he gathered in the humiliated burrito, all that was left of his friend. “If I loved you any more than I do already, it would kill me.”
As if Hilary had any space for worthless sentiments. “Die, then!”
He could hear the amusement in Trenton’s voice. “Should I not have said it?”
What a fuck of a question. “What’s wrong with your head? Is it full of rocks? Is that it?”
“It’s full of you. I told you already—you make me stupid.”
“Stupid doesn’t begin to cover it!”
Trenton tried to twist his face around. “I think I’m starting to get it. What you mean by banter. It’s exciting.”
“Who the fuck is bantering? This is a lecture! A one-sided strafing!”
Trenton flipped him over and pinned his hands. “Then set me on fire.”
The kiss did seem to burn. Maybe it was a mistake to open his mouth.
He didn’t think that was too whoreish. It wasn’t like he was using his tongue or anything.
But it was different to have Trenton’s breath in his mouth, to feel as much as hear the desperation in him as they clutched at each other, every kiss rushing into the next in a mess of urgency, again with that stupid feeling of not being close enough.
Albert had to clear his throat twice for them to hear it, and then Hilary was kneeing Trenton in the groin to shove him off.
“Yes?”
“I said dinner is ready,” the man repeated, and then added, “You know, if you need privacy, you can just shut the—”
“WE’LL BE RIGHT DOWN.”
He hit Trenton again once Albert’s footsteps had faded. “Now look what you did!”
Trenton was entirely unrepentant. He was doing that smug grinning again. “They’ve seen us kiss before.”
“It was different then!”
“Why? They knew about your feelings even before I did.”
It was the last thing Hilary wanted to contemplate, even as a part of him recognized the truth in it. Was he fated to be always surrounded by damned omniscient mind-readers?
It was hard to think of a Christmas present. Hilary didn’t have much experience with gift giving, especially with people his own age, and especially for someone so important. His parents were no help, of course. “Just give him one of those coupon books you make,” Albert said. “He’ll love it.”
Hilary couldn’t believe the level of incompetence he was forced to deal with. “It can’t be something stupid. I need to get him something nice.”
“How about an outing?” Annette said. “Experiences are more memorable than things are. You could go out to dinner, or maybe a concert. We don’t mind spotting you a little extra if you need cash to cover it.”
It was a nice thing for them to say, but it still didn’t get him anywhere. “Trenton doesn’t like restaurants. He thinks people look at him while he eats. And he doesn’t like loud places either.”
“Concerts don’t have to be loud. How about ballet? They’re putting on a production—”
“Then he’ll think the present is for me!”
“Besides,” Albert added, “he likes ballet because of Hilary. Maybe if he were giving the performance. Actually, that’s a great idea. Annette, why don’t we—”
“Forget it. I’ll think of something myself.”
There wasn’t much time for thinking though. There were all the stupid finals to get through, and he was still doing the ballet classes and tagging along with Trenton to the dojo. It was there that Casey said something annoying. “You know, if you’re always together, you’ll get sick of each other.”
Trenton dismissed that without a second thought. “Not going to happen.”
“That’s what everyone says, but when the honeymoon phase ends and real life comes around, you’re going to start irritating each other. It’ll lead to stupid comments and fights, and if you’re always on top of each other—”
“Not going to happen,” Trenton said—this time with the weight of his eyes. “Now stop it. You’re upsetting Hilary.”
Hilary didn’t mean to get upset, and he tried laughing it off, but Trenton wasn’t fooled.
Once they were back in the car, the boy said, very seriously, “It’s not a honeymoon phase.
I told you, friendship isn’t the idiocy of lovers.
It’s not a physical thing between us, so it’s not like our eyes are going to wander once the next person comes along. ”
“It’s physical sometimes.” Hilary’s face burned to say it. He really had gone back to being a weenie. “I like touching you.”
Trenton pulled on him, drawing him up over the hump between the seats. It was something he did often, even when there was no space for it. “I like touching you too. But it didn’t start that way. We connected in our heads first.”
“But can’t that get tiresome, too? Once we’ve said all the things we need to say to each other, it’ll just be reruns. Like a broken record.”
“I think I’d need more than one life to say all the things I want to say to you.”
“Well, I’m not that creative. Or clever. When I look at you, I have the same stupid thoughts over and over.”
“Such as?”
Hilary clammed up, and he knew his face was beet red. Trenton laughed and squeezed him even closer. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that, no matter how many times you say it.”
It was warm in Trenton’s arms, and he smelled so good. How was it that they both did the same things, went to the same places and used the same shampoo most of the time, but Trenton always smelled ten times better than he did?
“We can make space if you want to,” Trenton said after a short time. He’d been smoothing his hair, pressing a kiss to his temple with every couple of strokes. “I’ve thought about it before. Since that time you told me—”
“I didn’t mean that.”
He knew exactly what time Trenton meant. That stupidity on the day of his confession, when he’d clumsily tried to seduce Trenton and lashed out when it hadn’t worked.
Trenton kissed him again. That small space behind his ear. “I know. But it’s true. I’m always with you, and in your space. We even share the same bed most of the time.”
“I like that part.”
The beds were only twin sized, and too small for them to squeeze into together.
What they usually did was push together his bed and the new high-riser and cover them both with a king-sized mattress topper.
It worked well, even if it meant taking up all the space in the room and making it difficult to get things out of the dresser drawers.
That was why they always set out the next day’s clothes before they made up the beds for the night.
“I like that part too. I’m not suggesting we change it. But there are other things. You could teach some of your classes alone while I go to the dojo.”
“But I like the dojo. And you like the classes.”
“Yes.”
Hilary knew he was being annoying. Wasn’t this worry about getting tired of each other his own anxiety? Trenton was just trying to accommodate it.
“How about this,” Trenton offered. “We’ll try it when I go to work tomorrow.”
“But that’s the whole day!”