Chapter 14 #3
So much for saving her questions until the end—he hated what he was about to tell her.
“Angel, the agent he replaced was murdered along with his family after the cartel discovered he was a plant.” He watched as the words took effect in her brain, and her eyes widened in horror.
“It’s why Athos asked us to protect you.
It’s also why he insisted on the security upgrades at your house.
And yes, it’s why we placed cameras, audio bugs, and tracking devices in your car, phone, purse, and some of your shoes. ”
He could see she was about to start yelling again, so he held up his hand to stop her.
“Let me finish. You wanted to hear all of this, so I’m telling you everything.
You can holler at me all you want when I’m done.
” She crossed her arms, her anger still evident, but he was grateful when she remained quiet.
“No cameras were facing your bed or in your bathroom. The ones in your bedroom only faced the door to the hallway and the slider. I erased the audio from the night of the gala as soon as I got back to the compound, and the audio and video were both turned off while you and I were on the phone that morning. As long as there wasn’t a reason, no one listened to or watched any of the recordings. Well, no one but me.”
Her eyes narrowed, and he glanced away momentarily before taking a deep breath and forging ahead.
“From the moment I met you, the day we moved Egghead into his house, I’ve wanted you.
For some unknown reason, I was fighting my attraction to you, but every time I had a chance to go to Brody’s, I took it, hoping to see you.
“The day Athos was over, I’ll admit I was jealous as hell watching him massage your bare feet and seeing how familiar he was with you.
I assumed you two had an intimate relationship, but Athos filled us in on everything the next morning.
He told us how you met and became best friends, how you were there for each other after losing your families, and how much he tried to protect you over the years.
Then he explained about his case and what he wanted us to do to keep you safe.
At no time was my getting close to you part of the plan.
“Yes, Brody was keeping an eye on you and checking on you whenever he was home, but as I said before, he could have done that from a distance. Egghead is one of those guys who form friendships easily, and I’m sure you two would’ve become friends even without this whole mess. It’s just the way he is.”
Biting his bottom lip, Ian paused, trying to gather his thoughts.
“The night of your blind date, I was there to pick up a file I needed. I stood in the living room arguing with myself about going out the backdoor to see if you were there. Obviously, I lost that fight. I asked you out as a man wanting to spend time with a woman he was fascinated with and for no other reason. I found myself checking your video feeds during the day like some crazy stalker, and I’m not proud of it, but without even trying, you got under my skin.
And once I tasted you, I knew it wasn’t enough.
“I don’t do long relationships, Angel. Not since my fiancée walked out on me ten years ago.
She wanted someone more romantic, who could read her mind and anticipate her every whim.
She wanted someone who would buy her flowers just because it was Wednesday or some other wacky reason.
She wanted corny love songs and sky-writing proclaiming how much I loved her. ”
He snorted and shook his head. “And that’s not me.
I tried to show her I cared for her in my own way, but it wasn’t enough.
And I swore I would never go through that again.
I would never again let a woman get close enough to me to the point where, when she left me, she took my shredded heart with her.
And until I met you, it was never a problem for me.
” A bewildered expression fell over his face.
“But you, sweetheart, you make me wish I never took that vow.”
He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, then slowly opened them again, afraid of what he would see in her face…
in her eyes. Would she hate him, be disgusted with him?
Would she never want to see him again, never let him kiss her again?
God, he hoped not. His gaze focused on hers, and he was surprised to see sadness instead of anger.
Swallowing hard, he waited for her to say something and prayed it wouldn’t be “get out.”
“What was her name?” Angie whispered.
Of all the things he expected her to say, that wasn’t one of them. “Um, Kaliope. Kaliope Levine. She was a . . um . . a news reporter in Virginia near the Navy base.”
“Was she your submissive too?”
Ian nodded, and his dropped. “Yes, she was. I met her at a club up there. We were together for almost three years.”
She reached over for his hand and squeezed it before letting go again.
The gesture shocked him, but not as much as her next words did.
“I’m sorry for what she put you through, but I’m not her, Ian, and when this is all over, I think I’d like the chance to prove it to you.
But for now, I’m still mad, hurt, and scared out of my mind—for me, you, Jimmy, and your team.
” She heaved a sigh. “I want to try to sleep, and maybe tomorrow I’ll be more tolerant of everything you’ve done up to this point.
I can’t guarantee I won’t yell some more, but I’ll try to refrain from kneeing you in the balls. ”
Snorting, he gave her a wry grin. “My balls appreciate it, sweetheart.” His face became serious again.
“Look, I’m not sorry for protecting you–your safety was always a priority–but I will apologize for how we all went about it.
We should have… I should have told you from the beginning, and I’m sorry I didn’t.
I stressed how trust is a large portion of BDSM, yet it should also be a major part of the rest of our relationship too.
And I know I have to work at earning yours again. ”
He hesitated momentarily, uncertain how she would react to his next question. “Would it be all right if I sleep next to you tonight? I promise I won’t push for anything more. I just want to hold you and keep you safe.”
His stomach dropped, and a wave of nausea hit him when she shook her head.
“Not right now, Ian.” Knowing he deserved it, he tilted his head in understanding and stood, ready to find another bed for the night.
He’d said he wouldn’t push her further tonight, and he meant it.
“But if you happen to come back while I’m asleep, I won’t exactly have a choice, will I? ”
His heart soared. Smiling, he leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead. “No, you won’t, Angel.” He kissed her again. “Good night, sweetheart.”
Angie buried herself under the blankets and shut her eyes as Ian turned off the lamp and left the room, closing the door behind him. Within minutes, she was asleep.