24. The Visit
The Visit
Electra
I t took me a few minutes to calm my erratic heart and crazy thoughts. While preparing coffee, I used the opportunity to do some breathing exercises. My whole body felt strained. I couldn't relax. I was afraid that the following conversation would end my relationship with Bastian.
He was in the living room with my grandmother, politely answering her questions and passing her snarky comments with a polite silence. I’d never seen him so tense in someone's presence. I was sure he would send her to hell for her not-very-nice words if she weren't part of my family.
I refreshed my face with cold water before I took the mugs and joined my grandma on the couch.
She smiled at me and gently patted my shoulder when I served her coffee, but I knew she didn't intend to stay.
I hoped she would start another round with Bastian, yet my greatest wish was that she would buy me some time to prepare for a horrible dialogue.
But she left the room with one last wink at me and a stern glare at my boss.
An extremely awkward silence settled between us when we were alone.
I was stirring my concoction, staring at the table, waiting for him to finally start talking.
He didn't say anything for more than two minutes, and I felt my nervousness growing every second.
Eventually, I lifted my head to steal a look at his handsome face, only to find him looking back at me.
I was frozen on the spot by the intensity of his stare.
It wasn't his typical lustful gaze that made me weak at the knees.
Instead, I saw so much pain in his eyes that my heart skipped a beat, and my eyes watered.
My lower lip quivered, and I quickly raised my mug to my mouth and lowered my head to avoid his piercing look.
It was as if he was trying to understand what was happening in my head, and maybe sometimes he could predict my reactions, but this time, I doubted his ability to know how I felt.
He broke my trust and my heart as well. I was in pain.
I was suffering because I gave him everything I was capable of, and he just took it and threw it out of the window.
Yes, I made some mistakes and lied to him about my first meeting with his brother, but it was nothing compared to his contract with Rose. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't imagine what he could possibly say to change the fact that he was hiding another woman from me.
We signed an agreement stating that we wouldn't have another partner, and he entered it with the knowledge of another ongoing contract with his ex. That was a big no for me.
"Why are you here, Bastian?" I asked after another few minutes when the silence became unbearable. I wanted us to get this over with.
"Isn't it obvious?" he countered, slowly moving the pink diamond heart in my direction. "I want you to come back with me."
I smiled bitterly, placing my mug on the table.
I leaned into my seat, crossed my legs, and stared into his stoic face.
I wanted nothing else but to sit on his lap and hug him, feeling his warmth on my skin.
But simultaneously, I was disgusted with myself for being so weak.
I shouldn't forget what he had done because he drove three hundred miles into the middle of nowhere and said he wanted me back.
"What about Miss Adelaine?" I inquired, trying to notice a change in his demeanor, but it was still the same. He was prepared for me to attack him with her .
"She doesn't mind sharing," he answered nonchalantly, and I gasped. I grabbed the first thing that was in my reach and threw it at him. It was a big, ugly brown cushion, probably older than me, and it didn't do much damage.
Bastian caught it with ease and chuckled.
Shit! He was making fun of me and of this whole situation.
"Princess," he addressed me in a gentle voice when I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at him. I didn't react; I was trying to kill him with my eyes for making jokes out of this. "I'm sure you misunderstood this thing between Rose and me."
"Oh, really?" I spat, digging my nails into my arms. The anger wanted to take over me, and I had a hard time controlling my voice. I was almost screaming at him. "What exactly is that thing?"
"Safety," was his response, and I tilted my head to the side, furrowing my eyebrows.
"Safety?" I echoed, watching him as he nodded. I really regretted that I hadn't read their contract. "Are you her bodyguard?"
"Princess, please," he groaned, rubbing his eyes, but I wasn't in the mood for a guessing game. He should've come here, been nice, and begged me for forgiveness, but he acted like we were talking about something insignificant, not our relationship!
"Don't ‘princess’ me, Bastian!" I raised my voice, feeling the anger and pain bubbling just under the surface. He flashed me a warning glance—the one that usually stopped my tantrum short—but this time, it didn't work.
I was furious with him. I refused to tolerate him and his commands. He lied to me and probably cheated on me with that goose, which led to a feeling of absolute humiliation. Everything between us was built on a lie, and he just couldn't provide a full explanation or, at least, a proper apology.
"Don't bark at me, Electra. I didn't come here to argue," he stated. I noticed a warning in his voice, but he held no power over me. He broke our contract and violated the terms; I wasn't his submissive anymore.
That realization hurt my heart so much that I had to grab the edge of the couch and take another few deep breaths.
Otherwise, I would have started crying. I was worried that this conversation would end our relationship, yet we were already apart.
More than a week ago, when I found that fucking piece of paper, we were finished.
"Why are you here, then?" I hissed through gritted teeth, narrowing my eyes at him. Anger was the only thing that kept me from crumbling. I knew this man only for a few months, but I believed he was my soulmate. He should have been the one.
"I want to explain..." he started soothingly, and it felt as if he was looking directly into my soul, but his words only infuriated me more.
"Explain?" I yelled, rising to my feet because I couldn't sit still any longer. "What the fuck do you want to explain? That you're with her and with me at the same time!"
I wanted to punch him, smash that handsome face, and claw those beautiful crystal-blue orbs out. I'd never experienced such a strong desire to hurt someone, and it truly scared me how violent my thoughts were.
"I'm not with her!" he rumbled, standing as well. I instinctively backed away from him because he always looked bigger and scarier when he was angry. "You are the only woman in my life."
"How stupid do you think I am?" I clenched my palms into tight fists, glaring at him from a safe distance.
This dominating posture of his was dangerous for me.
I craved to wrap my arms around him, hide my face in his chest, and breathe in his scent while listening to the strong beats of his heart.
But just as I started succumbing to the familiar feeling of calmness that the thoughts about him provided, Rose's grinning face appeared in front of my eyes.
"Electra, stop with this nonsense and let me explain," he said sternly, knowing I was powerless against his dominance. He was using my weaknesses against me. I was sure he wanted to manipulate me into forgiving him and moving on.
"So, this is nonsense for you!" I threw my arms helplessly in the air, pushing back the tears.
I was ashamed of myself for not being strong enough to send him to hell with his nonsense!
And that's when the idiotic idea struck me, and I followed that thought without hesitation or thinking about the consequences .
"You know what? Fuck this! I'm done!" I turned on my heels, stomping out of the living room, but I only took three steps before he grabbed my arm, swiftly spinning me around and making me bump into his wide chest.
"What did you say?" His hoarse whisper was ringing in my ears like some scary melody. Even when I shouted at him like a lunatic, he gave me a chance to change my words. It didn’t matter; I was too furious to see that opportunity.
"I'm done, Bastian," I replied, wriggling to escape his hold. "I don't want to live with you or work for you. I want all of this to end!"
My heart broke all over again when I saw his devastated face. For a second, I thought that he would start shaking me to get me to return to my usual self, and maybe it would have worked. However, he didn't do such a thing. He would never touch me without my consent. That much I was sure of.
"Okay," he breathed, backing away from me. The more distance he put between us, the more I felt as though loneliness and pain were taking hold of my heart. I loved him. God! I loved him so much that it felt impossible after such a short time, but I couldn't overcome the betrayal deep inside me.
I couldn't trust him. After everything I'd been through with my mother and past boyfriends, I finally felt wanted, protected, and loved. But it was only a fantasy—a stupid fairytale. Of course, he would rather spend his life with a woman like Rose over me.
"I don't have time to deal with this later," he said mournfully, staring somewhere behind me. He looked so lost. His expression matched my feelings perfectly. "Let's go back to the city. You'll take your stuff from my apartment and work, and we can go our separate ways."
I would've never agreed to that suggestion if I had been in the right state of mind.
I would've taken some time to think and process everything, and maybe I would've come to him and tried to listen to whatever explanation he wanted to provide.
However, it wasn't an option while I was an absolute mess with a tornado of emotions swirling inside of me.
I wanted that pain to go away, and he'd just given me the way out of his life without threatening me to never find another job or to destroy my future in general.
"Fine," I stated in a resolute voice, hiding my trembling palms in the long sleeves of an oversized sweater. "But I'm sitting in the front next to your driver."
"As you wish," he answered, but he didn't move to the door.
He was standing in the middle of the living room as if his feet were rooted to the ground, and his scrutinizing glance only deepened my anxiety.
I wanted to put this whole thing behind me so desperately that I was willing to spend the next hours in the small space of his luxurious car together.
I only prayed that it wasn't Daniel who would drive or that I wouldn't have anybody to talk to.
Hastily, I grabbed my purse, phone, and shoes from the back terrace. I wanted to leave, yet a hand on my forearm stopped me.
"Are you sure about this, sweetheart?" my grandmother asked, worry written all over her wrinkled face.
"Yes, I'm done with him," I replied, kissing her cheek goodbye. She looked like she didn't believe my words, and honestly, I didn't believe them either, but I had to end this.
After working hours, I would have enough time to move my stuff from the office without a big circus.
It would be more complicated with his apartment, but it could be done quietly.
I hated being the center of attention, and the last thing I wanted was to be in every newspaper in the country because we broke up.
With all those theories, I was pushing thoughts about our dying relationship to the back of my mind.
I couldn't show him how hurt or heartbroken I felt.
I had to be strong and go through with this.
Then, I would have time to cry and feel sorry for myself.
And he could spend his spectacular life with that goose.
I marched through the entrance of my grandmother's house with my head held high. Without one glance in Bastian's direction, I yanked the front door of his car open and sat inside. I didn't notice his driver outside; the vehicle was also empty, yet I still didn't connect the dots.
Only when Bastian sat behind the wheel, turning the ignition on, did I realize I'd gotten into a ridiculously unpleasant situation.
He flashed me a wicked grin and locked the doors so I couldn't run away.
I opened my mouth to object because I sure didn't want to be alone with him, but I couldn 't say anything.
My heart was intensely hammering in my chest, almost breaking my ribcage, and the sudden proximity of Bastian's body was overwhelming. I was mentally scolding myself for being stupid and walking into his trap.
Yet even when I could start yelling, kicking, and punching him with everything in me, the broken part of me was silently pleading with him to save this, to save us. But I wasn't sure if it was possible.