Chapter 64 Nate
NATE
Iflick the kettle on to make Nora a cup of tea.
Her arms wrap around my waist and hold me tight from behind. “I love you,” she whispers against my back.
A cracked piece of my fragile heart heals, warmth spreading through my chest. After everything, she still loves me. I turn around and hold her, my chin resting on her forehead as I pepper her hair with kisses. “I love you, dimples.”
A knock at the door makes the hairs bristle on my neck. Ev. Has he forgotten something, or decided he wants to stay?
Nora’s eyes sparkle, probably with the same anticipation.
I stride down the hall, my pulse quickening, only to be met with my parents.
“Nate. Why didn’t you tell us Nora was in hospital?” Mum says. “I had to find out from your receptionist when I called this morning.”
I scrub a hand over my face. This is all I fucking need right now. “What do you care? The baby’s not even your blood, remember?”
“Son,” Dad says. “We love Nora. We want to check she’s okay.”
“Yeah, you love Nora, just not our baby.”
“That’s not true, Nate. If you’d answer my calls, you’d know that.”
“Dad, Mum said right to my face that the baby will never be her grandbaby.”
“I was upset, Nate. I’m sorry. Are you going to let us in, or do we have to stand out here on the doorstep?”
“I won’t have you upsetting my wife.” I’ve already had this conversation with Ev today, and now I’m having it with my parents, but I need to set some boundaries.
“Nate,” Nora says behind me. “It’s all right.”
I stand aside with a clenched jaw as I let my parents into our home.
Mum walks straight past me, her eyes landing on Nora in the kitchen doorway. “Oh, sweetheart. Are you well?”
Nora nods, offering her a small smile. “I’m all right. Just tired.”
Mum hesitates, like she wants to hug her but isn’t sure if she’s allowed. Nora solves that by stepping forward and wrapping her arms around her.
Mum exhales, squeezing her tightly. “I was so worried.”
Dad clears his throat awkwardly beside me. “We’ve been worried sick since we heard. Just been to the hospital, and they said you had been discharged.”
I lean against the wall, arms folded. “You didn’t seem that worried a few Sundays ago.”
Mum pulls back, her eyes glassy. “I know,” she says quietly. “And I’m sorry.” She wrings her hands together. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was upset and frightened, and I spoke without thinking. That baby might not share my blood, but it’s still part of this family.”
The tightness in my chest loosens.
Nora reaches for my hand. “It’s all right,” she says, as if urging me to agree and forget the entire argument ever existed.
But I can’t forget it. It simmers under my skin like an infection.
Mum turns back to Nora, her eyes softening. “Are you really all right?”
“Yes,” Nora says. “The bleeding’s stopped, and the doctor says Pip is doing well.”
“Pip?” Dad asks.
“That’s the baby’s nickname,” Nora says.
Dad nods thoughtfully. “Nice name.”
Mum shoots him a look. “It’s not the actual name.”
“Well, it could be,” I say, already used to calling it that.
Nora laughs, the tension leaving her shoulders. This is good for her. She needs calm right now, not more conflict. I can keep my mouth shut for the next thirty minutes and pretend I’m fine with my mother, for Nora’s sake.
“Nate’s just put the kettle on. Want a cup of tea?” Nora says, leading them into the kitchen.
“We just wanted to make sure you were both okay,” Mum says, turning to me as if silently asking permission to stay.
I open the cupboard and pull out four mugs.
“Want to see the nursery?” Nora says, already climbing the stairs.
Dad follows her, but before Mum can leave, I need to say my piece.
“You hurt Nora. And that baby is part of this family whether you like it or not.”
Her chin lifts. “I do like it. I just needed a moment to catch up with the idea.” She swallows as if swallowing her pride. “Your dad and I… we had a long talk. I understand this is the only way for you, and I’m sorry for how I reacted.”
“She doesn’t need any added stress right now, Mum.”
Mum places her hand on my arm. “Whatever you need. Let me know.” She looks relieved enough to cry.
Guilt pricks at me, but I can’t take on Mum’s emotions right now. Mine are already too close to the surface. “Go up with them and see the nursery. Ev and I finished painting this morning.”
She furrows her brow. “Is he still involved?”
“Where the baby is concerned, yes.” She doesn’t need to know anymore than that. Hell, even I don’t really know anymore than that. As much as I want Ev to be all in with this, I can’t force him to come out into the open, and until he does, there’s no point in admitting anything to my mother.
“Hmm.” She scurries down the hall and then climbs the stairs with effort, as if her hip’s playing up again.
I’m certain she still doesn’t agree with this situation and would prefer it if we just told everyone that the baby’s ours and not complicate matters with a donor who’s always hanging around.
She doesn’t want to be the gossip of her church meetings.
Nora’s laughter floats down the stairs, making the tightness in my muscles ease.
I stir the drinks and place them on the kitchen island.
Dad’s the first one back down, patting me on the back. “You’ve done a good job with the nursery, son.”
I don’t bother telling him Ev did most of it. I just nod and smile, accepting the praise.
He lowers his voice. “Give your mother a chance. She didn’t mean what she said. Of course we’re gonna love the kid. We prayed too hard for this not to. The Lord works in mysterious ways.”
I lift the coffee to my lips, nodding along with him.
It seems easier to agree right now rather than vent.
If there were a God, maybe he wouldn’t have given me this fucking condition.
If there were a God, maybe my brother would still be here, but deep down, I know that’s just life and not even God can save us from ourselves.
Maybe God has a plan for all of us. Maybe his grand plan was getting me to admit my feelings for Ev, but if that’s true, why isn’t he here with us right now?
As if Dad can hear my thoughts, he squeezes my shoulder. “Don’t worry, son. Everything will work out.”
I blow, cooling the coffee in my hand. When I first found out about my condition, I felt emasculated. Like I’d somehow failed at the one thing a man’s supposed to do.
But now I know being a man has nothing to do with sperm count. It’s about showing up. Protecting the people you love. Doing the right thing even when it hurts like hell.
I was willing to step aside once for Nora. Thinking giving her a baby meant removing myself from the equation and giving her to my best friend.
Turns out she didn’t need me to step aside. She needed me to step up. And that’s what Ev needs to do now. But I can’t force him into that. He has to get there on his own. If that day ever comes, I’ll be right here waiting. What I won’t do is live in the shadows.
Nora meanders back into the kitchen with a smile on her face, and I can’t help smiling along with her.
She’s glowing, carrying our baby. A baby I’ll love no matter if it’s my blood or not.
It won’t have my eyes, but it’ll have Evan’s—someone I love just as much as my wife.
If he doesn’t come back to us, at least we’ll always have this unbreakable bond between us, and we’ll have a part of him to love and cherish.
“Your parents love the nursery.” Nora steps closer, slipping her hand into mine.
“Nora says you’re finding out the gender.” Mum smiles, lifting her drink from the island. “I’ll help with the party.”
“Party?” I study Nora and my mother.
“Poppy’s going to organise a party for us. For the gender reveal.”
“Right. Is that what the two of you were planning this morning?”
“Poppy may have got a little carried away.”
“Well, don’t worry about the cost. Your dad and I will pay for the food.”
“Mum, you really don’t have to—”
She holds her hand up. “It’s already sorted.”
I leave it there, knowing it’ll make her feel better if she does this. It’s her way of a peace offering, and Nora seems happy, so I’m happy. Right now, she and Pip are my number one priority.