Chapter 18 #2
Benson swallowed the lump in his throat – oh, good, his stomach was back. Maybe he should stuff his face.
Liam explained, “Let’s just say, his daughter calls me Uncle Liam.”
“Wow.”
“Yup.”
“And you guys eventually had a falling out that made you,” Eden pointed to Liam, “move away just to get away from him.” She pointed to Benson. “I want to know what happened.”
“You need to ask him. He’s the one who ended it.”
Benson was put on the spot, and his food couldn’t save him. Not with two pairs of eyes watching him – one in curiosity, and the other in disbelief.
“It just wasn’t going to keep working out,” Benson said. “As much fun as it was, he and I are very different men. For fuck’s sake, I’m ten years older than him.”
“That’s right. I’m a dirty Millennial.” Liam chuckled. “So are you, grandpa.”
“We’ve been over this before. I am not a Millennial.”
“Fine. Cynical, Xennial shit…”
“Stop making up words.”
Eden laughed.
“What?” Benson demanded.
She waved her hand, as if that would dissipate the sound of her laughter. “You sound like an old married couple.”
Benson was gonna be sick.
“We kinda were, honestly,” Liam said. “By the way, has he told you that he’s—”
Benson had to say something. Quickly. “Embarrassed by all of this? No, I haven’t mentioned that.
Because, quite frankly, I have to be careful with my image.
I like to think I’m a progressive, modern man, but as you can guess, Eden, I’m in a very conservative industry.
My partners don’t care what I do in my private life, but many of our established clients do.
It’s one thing to rock the boat with one partner… it’s quite another to have two.”
“You considered him your partner?”
“In building a life, so to speak,” Liam said. “I think that’s what he means. Right, Ben?”
He was on to him. Benson was gonna circumvent the truth, no matter what.
Not here. Not now. That could come later.
If this was really serious with Eden. He was already on the verge of confessing one thing about himself.
The thing that had been the final straw for Sydney and made her file for divorce.
“Do whatever you want with them, Ben,” she had said when he begged her not to leave, “But I’m not gonna join in. ”
Even Drew knew a good bit of it. Not the sexual details, of course, but things about her father that didn’t fit the mold of what good and proper society dictated.
She knew Liam and me were very close. She loved that.
She called Liam her uncle, but he was definitely more like a bonus father than anything.
And every time Benson thought too deeply about that, he wanted to punch the wall.
Not Liam, though. He wasn’t a puncher. He was a talker. He wanted to talk everything out. Because how Benson had responded to Sydney leaving was exactly how Liam responded to Benson ending everything five years ago.
“Weren’t you engaged five years ago?” Eden asked Liam. “Right around the time this would have been happening?”
Benson bored a hole into Liam’s temple. Don’t tell her. I swear to God, if you say something, I’ll rip your balls off. He knew where they were!
“Yes. That was what ended the whole arrangement. I wanted to marry… our third.” He glanced down at the table before forcing a smile on his face.
“We were in love and had the same trajectory in life. She was even my age. She talked about having a kid, and I wouldn’t mind.
Just, you know, to make it official and to ensure she was taken care of by one of us.
Benson had even made it clear he never wanted to marry again after his divorce, and he definitely didn’t want more kids.
So, I’d have to be the father.” Liam shrugged.
“So you ended it?” Eden asked Benson.
“I did end it, yes.”
The silence was impervious. Especially with Liam staring at him like that. “Yup. He sure did,” he muttered.
“What happened to her?”
Liam folded his arms on the table. “Everything imploded. It didn’t work without Ben.”
There was that silence again. Why was Benson so allergic to it?
“I can be honest about myself,” Liam said.
“I don’t mind other men in my bedroom. I prefer a beautiful woman between us, sure, but as you said, love, you know my dirtiest secrets.
It gets me hot knowing that other men love the same woman I do.
I get off on worshipping gorgeous women like you with other studs.
” He said it so casually! Absolutely no shame!
What was that like, anyway? I can’t… this guy…
Five years since everything “imploded,” and Benson still couldn’t believe Liam’s youthful candor.
“I’m not really cut out for monogamy in the long-term.
Not a need for other women, love, but I like guys, too. ”
“Whoa,” Eden said. “You’re bi?”
Liam crossed his arms and slumped in his chair. He tried so hard to project confidence, but Benson knew the truth. It’s because I’m here. He’s losing it because of me. Which didn’t exactly inspire confidence in Benson, either.
“Yes. As Ben can attest.”
“Uh, I gotta see this.”
“Do you think this is a side-show or something?” Benson asked his girlfriend.
Yet she was still smiling, still playing with her hair, and still sitting up straight so her breasts kept jiggling in front of him. “I hadn’t guessed. I mean, I knew you were comfortable around other men, but I thought that was just being comfortable in your masculinity. Like, really comfortable.”
“Same difference to me.”
“But being bi implies that you like men. In that way.” Eden kept waving her hand. Benson now knew this was one of her tells when she worried that she had ruined the moment. “Like you’d be fine with going one-on-one with a guy.”
“You make it sound like I haven’t.”
“Yes, Liam likes men, let’s all move on,” Benson said.
Both Liam and Eden looked at him as if he suddenly sprouted a second head. “Problem with that?” Eden asked.
“Yeah, Ben. Problem?”
Fuck you both for this. No, not Eden, but mostly Liam. Eden was giving him the hardest look of her life, though. Waiting for me to expose myself as a bigot, surely. And he would have no room to talk. “No problem,” he said. “I just think we should move on.”
“I bet you have a crush on Ben after all this time. I know I would,” Eden said to Liam.
“He’s quite a guy, yes.”
Nothing was teasing or mirthful in that tone. I’ve done it again. I’ve ruined it again.
He had once again ruined something between a couple who should have just been together. Sydney. Liam. Now Eden.
“I moved away because it was too difficult being around Ben anymore,” Liam said after they all had a few more bites of dinner.
“It was too awkward bumping him into the same places we always liked, and hearing about him through our mutual friends in different circuits. Like, could I avoid what he did for a living? Obviously. But when you’re in a situation like that, and it’s over…
it’s like any other relationship. You just want to start over somewhere else. ”
Benson thought about that for a second. “I didn’t know that’s how you felt.”
“Well, yeah. It was.”
“You would have rather been in that hellhole called LA than in the same city as me.”
“Thanks for catching up, Ben. Thought it was pretty obvious when I skipped town.”
I knew. Deep down. Benson would have done the same thing if he didn’t have family ties to the area.
Drew alone would keep him nearby, no matter if he had shared custody or not.
And I did. So I really couldn’t leave. Liam had been right about Benson’s issues with getting married again.
And not siring more kids was his biggest boundary of all.
Libby, their last shared third, wanted to marry and start a family.
I was shocked that Liam considered it. Later, Benson realized that Liam was doing anything it took to keep them together. That was the kind of man he was.
Wasn’t that the kind of man Benson had aspired to be? What the fuck happened to me… What kind of father was he? Professional? If he couldn’t mind his social contracts…
“This is how it comes down,” he said, interrupting whatever Liam was about to say.
“I want you, Eden. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me since…
well, since all that blew up. And I’m under no delusion that this guy doesn’t want you, either.
There’s a reason we both like the same women.
It’s because we’re like… fifty percent the same guy. ”
“That’s being generous,” Liam drolly said. “I’d say thirty-five percent.”
“What I’m trying to say is that he and I have our issues, yes, but it shouldn’t reflect on you. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about this when we were getting serious. I should have.”
“I should have told you, too,” Liam said. “Because he’s right. I also want you as my girlfriend.”
“Well…” She let out a deep breath and tossed her hands into her lap. “This is a lot to take in. And now I’m assuming that you boys want me to pick between you or something.”
Benson and Liam glanced at each other.
“What?”
“She’s not getting it at all, is she?”
Benson couldn’t blame her. “Angel…” he said, forgetting that he didn’t want to use his pet name for her in front of Liam, but did it, anyway. “We’re not saying that at all. Especially right now.”
“But aren’t you jealous? You’ve been losing it for half of this dinner, Ben.”
“Of course I’m jealous. I’m furious at the thought of him being the one to give it to you when I’m not looking.”
“That’s one way to put it,” Liam said with a whistle.
“Fuck off, Ashe.”
“You first, Smith.”
“Boys.” Eden’s voice was a balm on Benson’s bruised ego. “Are you saying that we should move forward as we were before? That I just keep dating both of you? Until… the heat death of the universe?”
Benson realized he didn’t want to eat the rest of his food, but with the way this was going, having it boxed up didn’t make sense, either. So he forced more of it down his gullet and drank it down with the last of his second beer.
“I’m down for whatever,” Liam said.
They both looked at Benson. He was also down for anything, but had trouble expressing it in front of present company.
“Well, then!” Eden folded her hands behind her head, leaning back and making her chest more prominent than ever. “Let’s get the check, guys. I think it’s time you both show me what you really have in mind.”
Somehow, Benson figured this was what she had in mind all along. And she says we’re perverted? He glanced at Liam, who grinned back at him.
“Just like old times, Ben.” He already had his wallet out.
Over my dead body. Benson was in charge here. He’d take care of the bill… and drag them back to his place. Because he was in control. That was the only way this was happening.
Or he’d go insane, wondering what he had missed out on.