Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
Hayden
I went from just enjoying the sex to practically having an out of body experience in the blink of an eye. One second it was good and hot, and Ace was sexy and demanding, and the next…there weren’t even words.
In the back of my mind, I knew it was a breeding orgasm. I’d had one once before with a particularly skilled ESA from Bangers & Mash. But even that paled in comparison to the searing pleasure that rolled through me in waves timed to the insistent push of Ace’s thrusts as he invaded the very center of me.
It felt like every cell of my body was singing the loudest, most celebratory song ever written. It felt like a part of me I had always known was there without being fully conscious of it was standing up and fist-pumping with an almighty, “YES!” It was so good that as Ace thrust and pumped on, I let out a keening cry of joy as cum continued to spurt from my cock and tears leaked from my eyes.
Simply put, Ace rocked my world.
But there was way more to it than that. As the intensity of the moment began to wane, as we came back down from the heights we’d reached together, my cells still felt like they were singing and dancing. I was completely limp and half out of it as Ace flopped to his side with a heavy breath, gathering me into his embrace and stroking me like I was his omega, but I could still feel it deep in my soul.
Something had happened. This entire heat had changed me. The breeding orgasm had somehow rearranged me from the inside out. I would never be the same.
“That was…wow,” Ace panted, clinging tightly to me as the air around us cooled while our sweat-drenched bodies clung to each other like the last bits of cereal in the bowl.
“Hmmgn.” I couldn’t form words, but my half-insensible mumbling was absolute agreement.
And then he leaned in and kissed me.
It wasn’t that I never kissed the alphas who took me through heat. I’d kissed plenty of alphas. I actually liked kissing a lot. Sometimes, instead of wild, kinky sex, it was awesome just to curl up on a cozy couch with an alpha I liked for a make-out session that had no deeper expectations attached to it.
I didn’t kiss the alphas I played out fantasies with, though. Who wanted to kiss their kidnapper? The point was cold, punishing, unattached sex and nothing more.
Ace was definitely something more. He’d accidentally kissed me that first day—I was almost certain it had been an accident—but this kiss was different. I ended up returning it with equal fire, squeezing my legs around him, since we were still knotted, and rubbing my hand up his chest so I could rest my hand over his heart.
His heart was beating wildly. He touched me everywhere he could before drawing a hand up to thread his fingers through my damp hair. His mouth was everything to me in that moment. His tongue playing against mine was as heavenly as him fucking me had been. His lips were like magic and made me feel precious and valued.
We were both too breathless from the intense heat wave to keep it up. When Ace pulled back, gasping to catch his breath, I was disappointed. But I needed to catch my breath, too. My head was starting to spin, and my skin felt prickly and sensitive.
“I think—” I started to speak, but honestly, I couldn’t actually think at all.
“Ssh,” Ace silenced me with a soft hush, pressing his fingertip to my lips. “We’re both exhausted after that. Let’s sleep the aftershocks off, and then we’ll think.”
I grinned, my eyes drooping shut. Yeah, Ace understood. He knew how I felt. He was probably feeling something similar. We’d pushed the boundaries of what casual, anonymous sex could be, and we would need a nap to gather our brain cells again before we could go on.
As soon as Ace’s knot went down and he pulled out, he flipped me in his arms so he could spoon me from behind. I didn’t usually spoon with my fantasy partners either, unless we were knotted, but I didn’t mind at all. As I drifted off to sleep, already looking forward to my next wave, my final thoughts were that this was different, Ace was different.
Some time later, I snapped awake from what had been unusually deep slumber for the time between two heat waves, an overwhelming feeling of wrongness pressing down on me. Ace still spooned me, and his snoring told me he was still asleep.
I glanced around at the kinky bedroom, trying desperately to figure out why I had this instinct like I was in danger. I mean, the room looked dangerous, what with the kink bed, the magnetic cuffs sitting on a bureau within my sight, and things like silk rope and bondage tape just lying out. I realized for the first time how cold and menacing the colors in the room were, too, all machine grey and sterile white.
Morning had broken. More than broken. By the intensity of the light outside, it might have been almost noon. That wasn’t what disturbed me either, though. My heart raced, and my brain scrambled to find the threat.
Then Ace moved, sucking in a breath and shifting his huge, warm, alpha body…and I knew what it was.
I scrambled away from him, flipping to face him and gathering up sheets to hug tight, putting as much of a barrier between the two of us as I could. In the night, Ace had been my captor and my lover, my tormentor and my savior. He had been my world, and my heat-soaked body had craved him like my next breath.
Now, he was the stranger who had helped me through a vulnerable time.
A vulnerable time that was now over.
Ace opened his eyes with a lazy smile. “You ready to go again?” he mumbled, voice still thick with slumber.
When he reached for me, I gasped, flinched, and jerked back.
Ace’s hungry smile vanished. He opened his eyes all the way, suddenly fully awake.
Our eyes met. I felt exposed and guilty and surprisingly sad. It was like I owed something to this pretty amazing alpha in the rumpled and stained bed with me. My heart throbbed for him, but I didn’t want him touching me.
“Oh,” Ace said, sounding disappointed.
“Yeah,” I answered with a sigh, relaxing.
Ace understood that my heat had ended. I could tell from the way his body lost its tension that he wasn’t going to lunge for me or try anything that I didn’t want. He might have been a bad, bad alpha in the fantasy we’d been playing, but the fantasy was over now, and he was a good guy.
Ace was a good guy. I knew it like I knew it was late morning outside, like I knew my heat was over. Whatever characters we’d played during our fantasy, Ace was cool.
I forced my sore and tender body to move, pushing myself up on one arm. “I feel like I should apologize,” I said, still hugging the sheets to me.
“For what?” Ace sat as well, conscious to keep the lower half of his body covered.
I shrugged one shoulder. “I feel like I’m disappointing you because my heat ended a little early.”
“Did it?” Ace asked, blinking. “It’s Monday. You went into heat on Friday. Heats last three days, right?”
I winced and shrugged again. “Yeah, they do. And you’re right. Looking back, I might have started going into heat on Friday afternoon, before the conference ended. I just thought the AC at the hotel was broken.”
“There you go, then,” Ace said, smiling. “Nothing to feel guilty about. I’m honored that you chose to let me take you through your heat instead of calling the fantasy off and finding a professional.”
The smile I gave him was wobbly, and for some damn reason, I felt like crying. Nice guy. Ace was such a nice guy. I liked him so much. Really liked him. Even though I didn’t know the first thing about him, other than that he designed kink equipment. It kind of sucked that I had a flight to catch that night and that I would never see him again.
“Well, um….” I cleared my throat.
“Do you want the shower first?” Ace asked.
No, no, no! We should shower together. And we should fuck in the shower, like two virile, hot-blooded people should.
“Yeah, thanks.”
I slipped out of bed, unable to take the sheets with me, but hugging myself, like that would hide my prickly, odd-feeling body from him. I practically ran into the bathroom, then stood with my legs squeezed together as the shower heated so I didn’t dribble cum and old slick onto his bathroom floor.
I took my time in the shower, scrubbing my skin hard to try to get the prickles to go away. I knew what they were now, of course. It was the post-heat aversion to touch. Shit, flying back to Barrington in a tiny metal tube filled with people was going to be a bitch. At least I had a business-class seat.
I took extra care to wash out my insides, since they especially felt like they needed to be cleansed. It was the weirdest sensation, but I almost felt like my womb was sentient, like that was my inner omega, and it had hunkered down on itself, like it had something to protect.
It occurred to me what that something might be for about half a second before my mind rejected the idea and pushed it away. No. Not gonna happen. I was not pregnant with a stranger’s child. Never.
Ace was up and fiddling around in the kitchen when I finished my shower and skittered around his living room, collecting the pieces of my business suit that had been strewn around the main room and forgotten on Friday night. The fact that neither of us had bothered to pick up my clothes, fold them, and put them aside was a testament to how overwhelmed with passion we’d been for the last three days.
As soon as I was out of the bathroom, Ace took his turn in there. I dressed, then I headed into the kitchen area to finish the breakfast preparations. As I did, I found my cell phone on the counter, where I’d left it after the last time I’d checked in with Ari.
I needed to let Ari know the fantasy was over, so I picked up the phone and tapped his contact.
Ari picked up after several rings and answered in a mock-irritated voice, “You know you’re the only person whose call I would take during dinner.”
I winced, remembering time zones. “Sorry,” I said. “I just wanted to let you know it’s over.”
I heard the sound of shifting, Samson’s deep voice murmuring something I couldn’t make out, then Ari said, “Over?” He paused, and I could practically see his frown. “Are you alright? Did something happen to end it? You sound…I don’t know. Not yourself.”
“I’m fine,” I said. It felt like a lie. I almost burst into tears.
That shocked me enough to dispel some of the overwhelming emotions I hadn’t noticed pressing down on me.
“I’m fine,” I repeated. “Just the usual intensity of the end of heat.”
Ari was silent for another moment before sighing and saying, “I remember. Are you still with Ace?”
I glanced to the bathroom door just as the shower cut off. “Yep. My flight isn’t until this evening, but I…I have all these weird feelings, like I don’t want to stick around here too long.”
Or like I wanted to stay forever.
That was not a usual post-heat feeling.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Ari asked, his voice firmer. “Did he do things to you that you hadn’t discussed? Did he not respect your safe word.”
“No, no!” I insisted. “If anything, it’s exactly the opposite of that. I….” I didn’t want to say what I’d already said, but it was too late. Ari was my best friend. He deserved the truth. “I really like him, Ari. It sucks dick that this is the end and I’ll never see him again.”
“Are you sure that’s not just the hormones talking?”
I sighed. Ari was probably right. A lot of things had happened in this heat that I’d never experienced before. Feelings of attachment could be another.
“It might be,” I said, rubbing my face with my free hand. It felt like a lie.
The bathroom door opened just then and Ace walked out in nothing but a towel. My body and mind ran riot. I wanted him and I wanted to stay away from him. The push and pull would drive me insane, I was certain.
Then Ace smiled as he turned the corner to walk back into the bedroom, and everything was okay again.
“Hayden?” Ari’s voice seemed worried.
“Yeah, sorry,” I said. “I just got distracted by a mostly naked alpha stepping out of the bathroom. Anyhow,” I continued before Ari could say anything else, “I just wanted to call to let you know it’s over and everything went well. I’m sure Ace will contact his second, and the two of you can do whatever you need to do and log it on the app.”
“Okay,” Ari said slowly. “But call me when you get back to Barrington, alright?”
“Will do.”
I ended the call, and by the time Ace stepped out of the bedroom, fully dressed and a little awkward, I had a passable breakfast ready for us both.
“I assumed you were on the phone with your second,” Ace said as he sat across the table from me. “I called my guy, too, while I was in there. We’re all done and dusted as far as Dark Fantasies Club protocol is concerned.”
“Good, good,” I nodded, feeling so brittle and awkward that I had to fight not to let my hands shake.
An even more awkward silence fell between us as we sat there, long after our breakfast was finished, saying nothing. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I didn’t want Ace to touch me, not at all, but I absolutely detested the idea of leaving him. That weird, inner force within me didn’t want to be separated from him. It whispered things at me, things like protection, safety, nurturing .
“What time is your flight this evening?” Ace asked.
I swallowed the last, cold gulp of my coffee awkwardly and said, “Eight o’clock.”
Ace nodded, tense and slightly flushed. “I know your suitcase is in the back seat of my car, but do you need to go anywhere else or do anything else?”
“I’m technically still checked in at the conference hotel,” I said. “I thought I’d be back there by Saturday afternoon and that I’d do some sightseeing before now.”
Ace nodded mindlessly.
“Come to think of it, I should probably call the hotel and maybe check out remotely so I don’t get charged late check-out fees,” I said.
“If that’s what you need to do, then that’s what you should do,” Ace agreed.
It was all so polite…and so awkward. Both of us were acting like people who had just been plopped into existence that morning and who didn’t have a clue how to interact with each other.
I broke the awkwardness by reaching for my phone and calling the hotel. It was easy to explain to them that I’d met up with a friend the other day and that I’d been staying with them instead of in the room, and that I wouldn’t have time to head back in person to check out. They were fine with checking me out remotely. So much so that I realized I hadn’t actually needed the elaborate story, I’d just told it so that my mouth had something to do.
By the time I finished that call, Ace had gotten up to tidy the kitchen. The awkwardness between us was still there, but I could feel it morphing into distance.
And I felt sick.
“I don’t mind if you want to take me to the airport early instead of having me bum around here until later,” I said, carrying my dishes to the sink. “I’m flying business-class, and the lounge is pretty cool.”
“Alright,” Ace said with a strained smile. “We’ll do that. I need to clean up around here and reset some things anyhow, and that would be boring for you.”
“Okay.”
Awkward.
The next hour felt like I was walking through fog and quicksand. Everything I needed to gather for my trip home was already in Ace’s car, so there was nothing to keep us from leaving almost immediately.
We were silent on the drive to the airport, which was both too long and too short. I didn’t know what to say. Thank you? You’re the hottest, nicest alpha I’ve ever met? I wish we could fuck like bunnies for another three days because nothing has ever felt as good as your cock in my hole?
“Which terminal does your flight leave from?” Ace asked as we pulled into the departures part of the airport.
And that was it. With a few mundane questions and clumsy movements as we both tried to take my suitcase from the back seat at the same time, my moment in the sun with Ace was over.
“Well,” I said, standing on the curb with my suitcase between us.
“Well,” Ace echoed.
His eyes looked like they wanted to ask me not to go, like he wanted me to stay and spend the rest of my life with him. It had to be my imagination.
“Okay, I should go check in,” I said, twisting halfway and pointing at the counter through the glass wall behind me.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
More painful stalling.
“It really was one of the best weekends of my life,” I said in a quiet, far-too-emotional voice.
“Mine, too,” Ace said, breaking into a more genuine smile.
He stepped forward and hugged me. Even with layers of clothing. My post-heat aversion made me want to scream like someone had thrown acid at me.
At the same time, I never wanted him to let go. I breathed in a deep lungful of his summery scent, and I heard him do the same with me.
Then he stepped back and it was over.
Like a zombie, I walked into the airport. Something inside me kept screaming for me to go back, to cling to my alpha. The screaming only got louder as I checked in, then made my way up to the business-class lounge to wait for my flight.
I called Simon once I got there.
“Thank God you’re okay and that you’re coming home,” Simon said in a rush almost as soon as he answered.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I said using the same, hollow tone of voice I’d used to tell Ari I was fine.
“Are you sure?” Simon asked after a short pause.
“I’m sure,” I said.
I absolutely was not sure. My body felt like I’d been beaten, my insides were squirming like I’d picked up a parasite, and I wanted to weep into the soda I’d gotten to go along with my lunch…which I didn’t feel like eating.
“I might have picked up a bug of some sort out here,” I said, staying quiet so none of my fellow travelers would hear me and give me the side-eye. “I’ll be home tomorrow morning, so it doesn’t really matter. I might take a few days off work to recover.”
“Okay,” Simon said, sounding unsure. “I’ll pick you up at the airport. Text me when you land.”
I said goodbye, ended the call, then sank back into my chair, closing my eyes.
It had just been a business trip with a moment of fun tacked on the end. So why did I feel like I would never be the same again?