Chapter Four
Mikey
“Dude!” Aaron shouted as he barreled through the apartment door, phone in hand. “The His Choice site has the online applications up for guys interested in participating on the show.”
I sat up straighter in my chair, lowering the book I was reading. “You check out that site more than gay men do.”
“I know.” He plunked himself down on the chair next to mine. “You owe me. I’m getting spam from all sorts of gay sites now. Although I gotta say, I was tempted to buy one of those anal douches. You never know when a chick might want to get freaky.”
I scrunched my face. “You really don’t have a filter, do you?”
He appeared confused. “With you? Why would I? Don’t others share everything with the people they’re closest to?”
Hmm, if that were the case, I would have asked Aaron to share his body a long time ago. “I’m one of those people to you?”
Aaron smiled. “Of course, man. I have lots of friends. But you’re the one that’s most important.” His expression sobered. “Wait. Aren’t I your best friend?”
I chuckled. “Yes, but it’s like you rudely said the other day, I don’t have many others. It’s not that great of an honor for you. Don’t get a big head.”
Aaron’s levity returned. “Impossible. It’s always eager to grow for a little more pussy. You just wish you could have at it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Please don’t ever use that comment as a pickup line with a woman unless you’re carrying an icepack for your eye.”
I chose to ignore his comment about me boning for him. Months earlier, I had confessed to Aaron that I found him attractive, and I had suggested he move so he wouldn’t be creeped out with the knowledge. Instead, it had boosted his ego. Since then, he’d found ways to tease me about it.
“That’s just stupid. If I was carrying around an icepack, the ice would melt and it would be worthless. Besides, I don’t date chicks that behave as primly as you do,” he replied.
“I’m not…prim!” The truth was, even I believed I was, no matter how hard I tried not to be. That trait was courtesy of my parents, who wouldn’t even attend an R-rated movie.
“You talk like a prude,” he clarified. “I didn’t say you are one. I know you’re a horned-up closet slut.”
“That’s not true, either,” I protested. Aaron had no idea how inexperienced I was. That was something I hadn’t shared, best bud or not. A guy who got around as much as he did would have a coronary from the revelation.
He smirked. “So, you’re an out-and-proud slut who’s just been down on his luck since we met? Guess we’ll need to change your fortunes with the show His Choice.”
“I’m not a slut at all. And I told you that I’d apply for the show, but I guarantee you I won’t be selected. I hate seeing you get excited about this just to be disappointed after they laugh in my face,” I admitted.
He shook his head. “They’ll select you, and I’m going to help you nab Cliff Walker on the show’s finale.
When you’re rich and famous and change your last name to Walker, you’d better support me with my acting ambitions.
” Although Aaron was respected for his work in engineering, he longed to enter the arts.
I had never seen him perform, as the town didn’t even have a theater.
As much as I dreaded seeing him leave White Pines, I’d encouraged him more than once to move to New York City if he was serious about becoming a star.
I had to believe his looks would garner attention there.
“You have a better chance of getting discovered in this nowhere town than I have of attracting Cliff Walker,” I pointed out.
He scowled. “Stop being such a wet rag. You know what job you should have studied for? Mortician. You would have been perfect for that.”
“At least I wouldn’t have had to listen to someone yapping in my ear all the time,” I shot back.
Aaron squinted. “Of course you would have. I would have just moved into an apartment with you above the funeral parlor. Hey, now that I think of it, that could have led to some good times. Imagine decorating the house for Halloween? We could put real coffins and corpses out on the front porch.”
“You are one sick puppy. And I’m pretty sure that would be against the law.”
He shrugged. “Why not make themselves useful one more time before they’re tossed in the dirt?” I shook my head. “See? You’re no fun.”
I snapped the book closed and placed it on an end table. “Exactly, which is why I have zero chance of getting on this show, let alone making it to the finals.”
He rolled his eyes. “Scooch over!”
A couple of months earlier, I had shared with Aaron that the best friend I had ever had was a girl named Melody that lived across the street from me in my hometown of Pittsburgh.
She and I had been so close, our parents had thought we were a couple.
But Melody had known I was gay and loved that about me.
She used to tell me I was more sensitive and thoughtful than other guys she knew, and we had similar tastes in books, movies…
and men. We would spend hours together sitting in the same overstuffed chair, cuddling and talking or watching something on television.
Aaron must have been jealous after I had finished recounting my past. Even though I had only spoken with Melody by phone on occasion since moving to Vermont, Aaron overcompensated on the chumminess after each call.
He had even started cuddling with me on the sofa or chair, no doubt remembering I had recalled those moments with Melody fondly.
It seemed he hated being second to anyone when it was something important to him.
I didn’t call him out on it, as it was more flattering than annoying. Plus, I enjoyed being close to him.
I moved to the edge of the chair, and Aaron sat next to me, looping his left leg over my right and putting an arm over my shoulders.
“It would be better if you did this sometimes when you’re just wearing a pair of jogging shorts,” I jested. He smacked the back of my head lightly. He did that on occasion, and even though it was never enough to hurt in the slightest, I always made a production of it. “Ow. Quit it!”
“I’m not your plaything. Your friend Melancholy didn’t perv on you when you cuddled with her, did she?”
“Melody!” I corrected, not for the first time.
He shrugged with his free shoulder. “Whatever.”
“I was just kidding around with you.”
Aaron almost looked disappointed. It was as if he didn’t want it to be a joke. His ego couldn’t tolerate me not finding him irresistible, I supposed. “Look at the His Choice site.” He pointed to the screen on his phone. “I already started filling in the application for you.”
“Wait,” I interrupted, after reading his first answer about my sexual inclinations. “You wrote that I’m versatile. How would you know?”
He poked his tongue against his inner cheek, as he often did before he spoke.
“It doesn’t matter whether you are or you aren’t.
You need to respond with answers that give you the best chance of being accepted on the show.
If you put that you’re a bottom, it could rule you right out if, on some minuscule chance, Cliff Walker likes to take it up the butt once in a blue moon. ”
I pulled away from him a bit so I could eye his face better. “And what makes you assume I’m a bottom?”
“Wow. Sounds like you’re insulted. Do you equate bottoming with being less masculine? Isn’t that closed-minded of a gay guy to think that? I want it on the record that I’m not the one who feels that way.” He shook his head. “Self-loathing much?”
“What? No…”
He held up a hand. “It’s okay. My mom knows a good therapist if you want me to connect you.”
I scowled. “No, I don’t. I’m not insecure about… I mean, I didn’t admit… Quit attributing stuff to me when you don’t know…”
“I do know,” he cut in. “Mikey, I’m applying logic.
You’re drawn to Cliff Walker. He’s several inches taller than you, has bigger muscles than any other guy I know in White Pines, and I’d guess he’s a few years older than you.
You’ve gotta be fantasizing about him on top, because I sure can’t picture it the other way around. ”
“Good, because you shouldn’t be picturing me with him at all.” I grimaced, imagining Aaron’s thoughts had been accompanied with disgust. “You’re so invasive. And why should someone’s size and age have anything to do with it?”
Aaron looked at me like I was na?ve. “To avoid looking ridiculous, that’s why. The positions should make aesthetic sense.”
I huffed. “Aesthetic sense? Are we performing for someone? Besides, I’ve seen adult films where a guy tops a much bigger man.”
“Well, there’s porn for all types of fetishes, I guess.
I’m talking about what feels right for most people.
But like I said, we’ll leave it at versatile in case Cliff Walker is one of the few who prefers the kind of movie you referenced,” he reasoned.
“And for your sake, let’s hope he’s not, since you’d be a very unhappy bottom. ”
“Oh my God, stop! You think you can figure out everything. For your information, I haven’t topped or bottomed, so there’s no history to support your claim.” I paused, realizing I had just confessed something I hadn’t intended. My mouth opened in horror.
Aaron’s eyes widened. “Wait, you haven’t… But isn’t that the main thing gay guys do? That’s like me saying my only experience has been receiving blow jobs.”
“Has it been?” I wondered.
He jerked his head back and stared at me like I’d gone insane. “Are you fucking serious, right now?”
I shook my head. “Yeah, okay. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sure you’ve done lots of disgusting things that would make McKinsey blush. Funny that you call me a slut.”
“Closet slut,” Aaron corrected. “Although I suppose I need to rethink that. Sounds like you’re more of a wannabe slut. The situation is more dire than I realized. Good thing you’re seeking my help before it’s too late.”
“I didn’t ask you for anything,” I snapped.
“You keep telling yourself that,” he said in a tone that implied my memory was corrupted.
I ignored his taunting, instead reading more of the profile he had completed for me. “Junior executive? I’m just an entry-level business manager.”
Aaron shrugged. “Manager, executive. You say potato, I say tomato.”
“That’s not the expression,” I pointed out.
He pretended not to hear. “You need to embellish. You can bet everyone else who’s applying will.”
I continued to read on, concerned about the comments section Aaron had completed. “Hold on. You wrote that I’ve been admiring Cliff Walker from afar for months? I sound like a stalker!”
Aaron nodded. “There you go. Self-awareness is the first step to recovery. I’m proud of you, Mikey.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s not like I’ve been hunting him down. I just…look his way when I see him around.”
“Fine. I’ll rewrite it. I suppose it did make you sound desperate. Speaking of lame, they’re requesting a photo, and the only one I could find is that terrible one of you on your company badge. Do you have something that doesn’t look like a DUI mug shot? Maybe a shirtless pic?”
I blanched. “Why can’t it be one where I’m fully clothed?”
“Don’t be stupid,” Aaron replied. “You aren’t applying to be on some bake-off show.
You land this gig, there’s going to be scenes where there’s forced semi-nudity.
That’s how they draw in the viewers. If the producers don’t think you have the bod, you’re getting a reject faster than…
” He paused to think of something that made sense.
“The Jonas Brothers proposing an album of Metallica covers to their record label.”
I chuckled. “Did you really just come up with that?”
He grinned. “I did, actually. Impressed?”
“No,” I answered straight-faced, causing him to frown. “I guess I hadn’t thought about the whole shirtless thing.”
Aaron sighed. “Dude, I’ve seen you in a tank, remember?
You’ve come along nicely since I met you.
In fact, your shoulders and triceps are better than mine now, and that says a lot.
” He winked. “Come on. What are you worried about? Do you have one of those strange-looking belly buttons, or something? Need me to vacuum years of lint out of it for you?”
“No!” I flushed. “It’s just, people would be watching this show. My parents. My coworkers. My friends.”
He squeezed my neck. “Stop exaggerating. You already admitted you don’t have friends besides me. Oh, right…and Malady. But she’s not into you that way, so who cares? People at work might perk up and notice you for a change, and your parents have seen you naked.”
“I was a baby…”
He continued. “You’re showing your chest, not your asshole.”
“It’s about context. Nobody pays attention to someone shirtless at the beach. If I’m on a television show, every viewer would be evaluating my body.”
“Bro, everyone would be judging you at the beach, too. They just wouldn’t be sharing their opinions on social media.”
I scowled. “Was that comment supposed to encourage me?”
“So, do you have a photo or not? Do I need to take one of you?”
“Um…” I stammered.
“Oh, don’t get all giddy. I’m not pulling an Epstein.” He jumped off the chair, then kneeled before me, holding up his phone. “Take the shirt off, dude.”
“Now? Here?” I asked. “My hair doesn’t look good.”
“I’m not waiting the hour it takes you to groom it. Now quit stalling. I’m not in the habit of begging another guy to strip.”
I bit my lip, then decided I might as well. Aaron wouldn’t stop until I gave in. I pulled the shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor. When I looked over to him, he was quiet and expressionless. “See, I knew this was a mistake. Can we just forget this whole thing?”
Aaron lowered the phone. “Why? You’re more jacked than I thought.
Let’s hope Cliff Walker is into smooth dudes, though.
” His expression turned sour. “That pattern on the chair is bothering me. It’s obnoxious and distracting.
Funny, I never noticed how ugly it is. Where did you buy that piece of shit, anyway? ”
“My nana gave it to me,” I replied, feeling bad for her, even though she wouldn’t know of his criticism.
“That explains it. She probably bought it when houses looked like the set of The Brady Bunch. Stand by the wall instead.”
I exhaled, then stood as Aaron rose from his crouching position. I moved in front of a blank space. “Better?”
He approached, positioned me so that I wasn’t straight-on to the camera, then backed up. “Give me that pouty look you always have. You know, the one where you wish I was gay and you could suck my juicy dick.”
“Shut up,” I snapped with a mix of annoyance and amusement.
“Ah yeah, that was the shot. Just the right amount of surprise, innocence and burning emotion. I think we’ve got our winner,” he announced. When he glanced at the photo on his camera, he seemed convinced. “See, just do as I tell you and you’ll win this thing.”