Chapter Fifteen
Cliff
The next day’s breakfast had been troubling.
As I had the day before, I sat with my mother to avoid the appearance of playing favorites with any of the contestants.
That was when she had shared with me the conversation she’d had with Mikey the previous evening.
It bothered me that the guy was led to believe I had chosen him for a date at the producers’ insistence, with the intent of passing him over in the end.
I had enjoyed getting to know him and, if anything, he and Brighton were now at the top of my list. It had also been unfortunate that the competition had driven a wedge between Mikey and Aaron.
When I had glanced around the patio, I had noticed that Mikey had been sitting with Dani, and Aaron had been at another table with Ted.
Neither Mikey nor Aaron seemed able to muster a smile for the men they had chosen to dine with.
The contestants and I were to be filmed visiting downtown White Pines and nearby locales. Sometime during the day, there was to be a surprise challenge for the contestants.
Adam had promised the town would be gussied up to look pristine and charming and many local shops would be adorned with Pride flags.
All residents had been welcomed to communicate with me and my guests, and they were encouraged to express their opinions about the contenders based on the first two episodes that had aired.
They had been warned, however, that all interactions would be captured on camera, and if they tried to tell me something that had been filmed outside my presence, they would be stopped and their opinions would be edited from the program.
My mother had been miffed that she hadn’t been invited as part of the entourage, so I had promised to provide her an update later at dinner.
As I and the other men piled into the bus that was to carry the cast and crew to Main Street, I noticed Aaron had taken a seat a couple of rows behind Mikey.
Mikey shot me a pained look as I approached.
I reached down to massage his shoulder. “My mother told me about your conversation. Daryl was wrong, and so was Aaron,” I whispered in his ear.
“I’m going to grab the seat next to Aaron to find out what’s going on in his head. ”
He appeared apprehensive but gave me a quick nod before I proceeded down the aisle.
“The seat next to me is available,” Dani suggested as I passed him.
“Maybe on the ride back,” I answered. “There’s something important I need to discuss with Aaron. It isn’t related to the contest.” I shared more information than I needed, but I didn’t want the kid to feel snubbed.
“May I?” I asked Alex as he was about to take the seat next to Aaron.
“There’s something Aaron and I need to clear up.
” Again, I was trying too hard to make everyone like me, providing explanations for wanting the seat so others wouldn’t worry I was playing favorites.
Alex nodded, though, and continued down the aisle.
Aaron had ear buds in his ears, but the volume was turned up so high, I could hear what he was playing—Mr. Brightside by The Killers. Aaron appeared sad rather than entertained by the music.
“Great song,” I said as I plunked myself down next to him.
He glanced over, removing a bud from his left ear. “Huh?”
“I said, I like that song,” I repeated.
Aaron grabbed his phone and pressed pause on the playlist. “You have that in common with Mikey. This is his favorite band.” He shoved the phone in the pocket of his hoodie. “We saw them in concert when they were in Burlington.”
I wondered if Aaron was tormenting himself with Mikey memories. “Can we talk on the ride into town? I don’t think anyone can hear us with the bus and road noise.”
He removed the other bud and shoved the pair into the same pocket as the phone. “Sure.”
“My mother and Mikey ran into each other last night, after the date he and I went on,” I started.
“Oh,” he said in a way that made me think he knew where the conversation was going.
“I’d normally say that what transpired between you and Mikey is none of my business.
But in this case, I think it is. It seems whatever disagreement you two had was because of me.
Aaron, I don’t want to be the person who damages your friendship with Mikey.
My mother was under the impression that after their conversation, Mikey intended to return to your room to try to fix things between you two. It doesn’t appear that worked.”
Aaron redirected his focus to the headrest of the seat in front of him. “I didn’t know that. I pretended to be asleep when he came in. I figured he was pissed at me, and it was better to avoid conversation.”
“And you evaded him again this morning,” I pointed out.
“Yeah.” He fidgeted with the hoodie zipper. “I got up early, showered, and went downstairs. I thought he might like having me out of his face for the day.”
I patted his arm, so he’d return eye contact. “He doesn’t look like a man who’s enjoying himself.”
Aaron cast his eyes back down. “I fucked up.”
“By repeating Daryl’s claim about why people get chosen for the first date on these types of shows?”
He nodded. “Repeating it, believing it and worst of all, being relieved by it.”
“Why would you be pleased by the idea that I wasn’t interested in Mikey?”
Aaron shrugged. “Don’t know.”
Having taught for a few years, I was used to that response when I challenged students about their behavior. It still surprised me how often adults defaulted to the same claim rather than fess up.
“A couple of nights ago, you told me that you came on the show to help Mikey succeed. What happened?”
He continued to fidget, picking at a loose thread on his shorts. “I do want him to win.”
“Aaron, I’m confused. And I’m sure you can understand why your mixed messages must be messing with Mikey’s head, too.
” He nodded. “Look, let me eliminate whatever misunderstanding you have first. I like Mikey. I don’t know him well yet, but I size up people quickly after years of teaching and catering to clients.
The guy is sweet and genuine. I didn’t choose him last night for any reason other than I’m interested in him, and I still am after having spent time with him. ”
Aaron pursed his lips, still staring down at his lap. “Okay. That’s good.”
“Your turn. Why are you bouncing back and forth about wanting Mikey to be selected? Even now, your expressions aren’t matching your words.”
He sighed, leaning his head back against the seat. “I want him to be happy. That hasn’t changed. I feel guilty for having pushed him into doing the show. Last night, he went all in, and he could end up getting hurt.”
“I don’t want that for him either,” I replied.
“But, Aaron, I don’t think he’d be devastated if I choose someone else.
It wouldn’t be like I’m ending a long-term relationship with him.
Even if I do select him, there’s no guarantee it will last. We’d still be getting to know each other, and we could end up deciding we aren’t the best match.
This is what I do know. I want him in my life as my friend, regardless of the show’s outcome.
He lives right in town, so there’s no reason he shouldn’t be. The same goes for you and me.”
He ran a hand through his impossibly pretty hair. “Thanks.”
“I believe you that you’d be happy for him if he’s selected. You care about him. That’s obvious. But you still haven’t answered my question as to why you would have been relieved if I wasn’t interested,” I pointed out.
He shrugged. “Just being stupid, I guess.”
I squeezed his shoulder. “Tell me, Aaron. I won’t repeat it. I just want to understand so I can help. It wouldn’t make me or Mikey happy if he and I got together, but it leaves you miserable about it.”
Aaron exhaled, then looked out of the window. There were a few citizens who had figured out who was on the bus, and they were waving at the windows.
“Since meeting him, it seems he needs me, you know? He isn’t very confident.
Which is nuts, as you know, ’cause he’s like the greatest person I think I’ve ever met.
There’s this wall of pessimism that hides his loving nature.
He’s patient, smart, considerate and, believe it or not, kind of funny.
Yet he makes me feel like I’m all that. Go figure. ”
“And if I chose him, you’re worried he wouldn’t need you anymore?” I asked.
Aaron half-shrugged. “He wouldn’t. And I should be happy for him that he wouldn’t. What kind of shitty person does that make me that I would want him to need me?” He shook his head. “No, I’m good with you and him getting together. I mean it.”
I paused. Aaron was torn. He wanted what was best for his friend, but a part of him wished that was him. “You know, it seems to me that you need Mikey, too.”
He flinched. “I’d be fine if I don’t get to see him as often.”
I massaged his shoulder once again. “That wouldn’t ever happen because of me, Aaron.
Sooner or later, each of you would find someone else, whether I was in the picture or not.
I hope that whomever you guys end up with respects your friendship.
You two have something special, and it would be selfish for your future partners to place boundaries on you.
If it is me who ends up with Mikey, I promise you that I will encourage him to stay close to you.
Great friends are important. I wouldn’t want him to stop me from spending time with my buddies. ”
For the first time since I sat down, his expression brightened. “I’m sorry I accused you of using Mikey last night. I see why he’s so into you already.”
I shot him a smile. “And I can see why you mean so much to him. You and I are not enemies, Aaron.”
“Please tell me you are with Daryl, though.” Aaron had a mischievous half-smile.
“He’s not my favorite,” I admitted. “I understand from my mother, who likes to pretend she has Mafia connections to get a rise out of people, she has already promised Mikey a hit on the guy.”