Chapter 2 #2
I quietly close his office door and walk to my desk, I take my bag from the drawer and with one long last look around the office, I feel my heart break.
Maybe he’s right, maybe I am doing the wrong thing. Who’s to say I’m going to like Greenville anyway.
No.
This is what he wants, if I give up on my dream now, I’m only cheating myself.
No pain, no gain.
The thing about being a glutton for punishment is this….
Nothing.
Turns out that I’m a total hoe for gluttony punishment and there is no excuse for my needy behavior. After tossing and turning all night, there’s only one thing I know.
I am not a quitter.
Just as I said I would, I will work until the end of the week and then I’m going to the Christmas party looking shit hot and then I’m walking out on my terms. He cannot finish me up on a whim.
Who the fuck does he think he is, anyway?
Right on 8:20 a.m. I knock on his door.
“Yes,” he barks.
I smirk, he’s annoyed that I came back. Well… prepare to be angered, fucker. I open the door in a rush and step back as my eyes widen in horror.
He’s making coffee in his briefs. Black, sexy Calvin Klein ones.
Lingerie for men.
He turns toward me, giving me a full frontal. “What are you doing here?”
I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out.
“Ahhh.” My eyes bulge from their sockets. “What are you doing….” I put my hands up toward his body, I’m flabbergasted as my eyes drop to the bulge in his briefs. “Doing that,” I gasp.
“I’m making fucking coffee, what does it look like?”
Something snaps in my brain, “It looks like you’re being a poser, that’s what it looks like. This isn’t a Calvin Klein runway show, you know.”
“Nobody has a gun to your head to look.” He angrily tips the coffee into his cup. “I think you like what you see, that’s what I think.”
“Oh….. you think that!” I yell, infuriated that he’s onto me. “I think you’re…… hideous.”
“Hideous?” he screams infuriated. “You’re hideous.”
Something about my boss standing there in his underpants yelling that I’m hideous tickles my fancy, and I burst out laughing.
“Nothing is funny about this,” he fumes. “Look away while I dress.”
“Oh please, I’ve seen it all now,” I scoff. “Stop acting frigid, we both know you’re not.” I sit down and open his computer.
“Apparently I’m too hideous to look at,” he mutters as he disappears into his closet.
I smirk as I open his diary.
Not really.
I take one long last look in the mirror.
This is it.
My last time at Ferrara Media, the Christmas party at the office.
Most people stayed back straight from work, but I wanted to duck home and shower, try and pull a miracle together and make myself irresistible.
I’m wearing a red wrap dress, and I feel as self-conscious as fuck.
I never wear red; I have red hair and that’s enough. Well, it’s not really red, it’s a deep auburn but you get the gist. It’s out and full, my makeup is a little sexier than usual.
The dress has a V neck that shows a peek of cleavage and a tie around the waist, it feels happy and Christmassy. I wanted to wear something different, he’s never seen me in something like this before, so I wanted it to be wow…. not sure if it actually is, but that’s the plan.
I am waxed, fake tanned and moisturized to within an inch of my life, who knew it takes so much work to look hot. I really need to step up my self-care routine when I get on the dating scene in Greenville.
I smile to myself, the dating scene in Greenville.
That’s the first time I’ve let myself consider the possibilities of dating in my new life.
Apart from the leaving Gabriel part, I’m really beginning to get excited. I’ve been saving for years and with the cost of the house being cheaper than I thought, I have enough money to buy myself new furniture and do up the house exactly how I want it.
I even booked myself a trip to Hawaii next year, all by myself.
Who even am I?
Right, I collect my coat and bag, let’s do this.
“Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms rings out as the band on stage does their thing.
The ground floor of Ferrara Media has been transformed into a magical wonderland. The Christmas decorations are over the top and waiters are walking around with silver trays of eggnog and champagne.
People are wearing bright dresses and Christmas outfits; laughter rings out as people chatter, and the mood is jovial and jolly. I’m glad I wore my red dress now; I feel better knowing that everyone else is dressed up too.
It was the last day of work today and everyone is pumped for the holidays and celebrating together.
I walk in and, feeling self-conscious, I flag down the first waiter I see, “I’ll have one of those, please.”
He smiles as I take a glass of champagne, “Thank you.” I smile.
I wonder could I take two?
No, don’t be an animal.
“Grace.” I hear someone call, I turn to see Geoffrey and some of the others from our floor.
“Hi.” I make my way over.
“Wow, you look gorgeous.” Geoffrey smiles as he looks me up and down. “Like, really, really good.”
“She does, doesn’t she,” says Paul.
“Who knew you were so hot, Porter.”
I smile as I take a sip of my champagne.
Awkward…….
Fuck it.
Don’t tell me this dress is going to bait the wrong one. I try to act casual as I look around, “Where is everyone?”
And by everyone, I mean your boss.
“The girls are at the cocktail bar and accounting is dancing. Marlene from level three flashed her tits on stage.”
I giggle as I scan the room and then I stop still as my eyes meet Gabriel’s.
He’s wearing a dark gray suit, white shirt, Santa hat, and my heart on the bottom of his shoe. He gives me a slow sexy smile and raises his glass.
I smile and raise my glass right back.
He goes back to talking to the people he’s standing with, and I watch him, waiting for him to glance back over at me.
He doesn’t.
My heart freefalls from my chest at his totally unaffected demeanor, it’s not going to happen…. is it?
I don’t know who I was kidding.
“Tell us about your new house.” Geoffrey smiles excitedly, “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this.”
“Me, neither” chimes in Paul.
I smile, grateful to the people who actually do give a crap about what I’m doing.
I drain my glass; I need to forget about my asshole boss and just enjoy the night.
It’s 11:30pm and Gabriel left hours ago; he didn’t even say goodbye.
Wow.
More than wow, fucking wow.
What a prick!
I’m going to get going, my eyes linger on the elevator, and I just…. I want to see my office one last time. I don’t know why, but I do. I take the elevator to the top floor and make my way to my desk.
I look out over the view, it’s so different at night up here, the lights of New York light up the entire skyline.
Unlike the busy and bustling daytime.
It’s peaceful.
Serene.
I sit at my desk and look around.
So, this is what closure feels like. The end of one era and the beginning of another. I swivel on my chair, feeling proud of myself.
I did it, I made a plan and stuck to it. Did exactly what I needed to do.
I’m moving on.
I sit for a long time as I process everything that has happened over the last seven years, the dressing diary sessions, the fights and tantrums. The sarcastic snark. The laughter, the crush.
Oh…. the crush. I crushed hard, but in my defense, I am only human.
I walk to his office and open the door; it’s darkened, lit only by a lamp and his bathroom light, I look over his desk and smile sadly. It’s hard to believe I’ll never see him sitting here again. I run my hand over his desk, the back of his chair, over the keyboard that houses his fingers all day.
His presence is so strong in here, I can almost feel him.
“Couldn’t even say goodbye,” I mutter to myself as I cross my arms and look out over the view.
“Goodbye,” a deep voice says.
I spin to see Gabriel sitting in the darkened corner of the room.
He’s got an amber drink in his hand, his elbows resting on his thighs as he watches me.
“Gabriel,” I gasp, “I …… didn’t see you.”
He stands and puts his drink down—his eyes are dark and dangerous—and walks over to me and stands so that his face is an inch away from mine.
The air leaves my lungs as I feel the heat from his body.
“You didn’t get your Christmas Bonus yet,” he murmurs.
I swallow the lump in my throat.
He raises his hand and rubs the back of his fingers over my breast as his eyes follow.
What the fuck is happening right now?
“I……..”
He puts his finger over my lips, “Don’t. Say. Anything.”
He puts his two hands around my waist and walks me back to his desk and then pushes me down onto it.
Thump. Thump. Thump……… goes my poor weak heart.
He puts his hand on my chest and pushes me back so that I am lying down.
I stare at him, unsure what the hell is going on right now.
His large hands glide up my thighs, and he slides my panties down my legs and takes them off.
Lifting them to his nose he inhales deeply.
Goosebumps scatter all over.
Dear god.
He pushes my legs apart and his eyes linger on my sex, “Hmm.” He lets out an aroused purr as he parts the lips of my sex with his fingers. I can hardly breathe.
What the actual……..
With his dark eyes locked on mine, he bends and licks me.
Deep and intimate.
“You taste fucking good.”