Chapter 5 #2
“Life changing?” He stops and my arm nearly rips out the socket. “How was it life changing?”
“Well….” I think for a moment. “I’m pretty vanilla on the outside.”
“You are not vanilla.” He cuts me off.
“No, I am.” I smile as I pull him to walk once more. “I’ve only ever had two boyfriends and…I’ve never had a one-night stand.”
He stares down at me. “How many people have you slept with?”
“Four.” I shrug. “Well five now.” I continue to babble on, “Well six if you count that one time I had a threesome.”
He chuckles. “The one you didn’t like to share the dick in?”
“Yes.” I smile goofily. “That one.” I glance back and see two men walking in the distance behind us. “Who are those men?” I ask. “Are they following us?”
He glances back. “Oh…. They’re from the resort. It’s standard for them to send someone with a client if they leave the hotel.” He nudges me with his shoulder. “In case I’m a serial killer or something.”
My arm is linked through his and I can feel his hard forearm under my hand. “How many people have you slept with?” I ask him.
“A lot,” he replies without hesitation.
“Oh.” I nod, I hate that answer, he’s probably slept with the most beautiful of people.
Insecurity rears her ugly head, what would he ever see in someone like me?
Then I remember the cold hard facts.
He didn’t choose me; he was matched with me. I was just the lucky number that got pulled out of a hat.
We walk for a while as my brain goes into a silent confidence crisis.
“So I have to ask….” He breaks the silence. “For someone as inexperienced as you…. Why would you pay to come to a place like this? I’m sure there’s a million men who would give anything to have you to peg them.”
“I don’t know.” I think for a moment. “I guess I was searching for something more.”
He nods as if processing my words.
“What about you, I’m wondering the same, why did you come here?”
“I honestly don’t know.” He hesitates. “Maybe I was searching for something more too.”
“What a pair of misfits we are.” I smile sadly.
“I’m vanilla shortbread, you’re a chocolate fudge whorebag.
You want to be pegged but you don’t want to be pegged.
I need to do Misty’s list but when push comes to shove I’m not sure I’ll actually be able to do it because I don’t know how to work a prosthetic dick without disemboweling someone.
We can’t know anything about each other and yet I feel like I already know everything about you.
And I’m quite sure that long after spending this weekend with you I will mourn your loss while you will probably never think of me again because you are just the most amazing lover of all time and well… I’m just me,” I blurt out in a rush.
He stops us and turns me to face him and smiles softly down at me. “You have it mistaken, it is you who is the most amazing lover, why do you think I couldn’t stop last night?” He takes my face in his hands and kisses me softly. “Why do you think I need an extra night?”
My eyes search his. “I wish we didn’t meet here.”
“Doe…. “He sighs. “Don’t.” He pulls me into a hug and holds me tight in his arms.
My heart constricts because I know that’s his way of dismissing any chance of a meeting on the outside for us.
He already has someone.
As he holds me a lump in my throat forms, we’re so close but so far.
We don’t know each other at all.
“Let’s just enjoy every minute of our night together, okay?” he whispers into my hair.”
“Okay.” I smile, feeling stupid.
I knew what I signed up for…keep it together, fool.
I pull out of his arms determined to do better. He did not come here to put up with my whiny and needy behavior. I’m not his girlfriend, hell…we don’t even know each other.
It is what it is.
I came here to finish Misty’s list and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
It’s time to put my heart in a box and sharpen my sword to prepare for battle.
Tonight…I’m going to fulfill his deepest and darkest fantasy.
Who knows, it might turn out to be mine too.
If déjà vu had an official day, today would be it.
Mr. Doe and I are on the love boat, we went for a walk around the village this morning, had a late lunch and an afternoon nap.
We’ve talked and laughed and taken a big hot deep bath and then this afternoon we had a nap, well I slept while he lay on his side and watched me.
We’re acting like an old couple in love and haven’t had sex once.
Or maybe it’s just that he had enough of my body last night.
I crave his touch and yet at the same time I want to prove to myself that we are more than what we came here for.
Does he feel it too?
I stare at my face in the dimly lit bathroom mirror, my dark hair is out and I’m wearing my tight red dress and strappy stilettos.
Tonight was our date.
We’ve had dinner and danced; Mr. Doe has wined me and dined me and I can’t imagine a more perfect night. We’re still at the restaurant and it’s 10 p.m. but I don’t want to go back to the hotel because then it will be our last night and when I wake up he will be leaving.
And I know it’s coming…and I know I can’t stop it.
But god, how I want to.
I stare at my reflection. Go out there and do what you came here to do.
“You can do this,” I whisper as I give myself a pep talk.
The door opens as someone walks in and I force a smile and walk back out into the restaurant.
Mr. Doe’s eyes hold mine as I walk toward him, he gives me a slow sexy smile as his eyes drop down to my toes and back up to my face.
“Miss me?” I smile as I take a seat opposite him.
He sips his drink and gives me the look.
“You know….” I smirk. “You shouldn’t look at people like that.”
“Like what…?” He swirls his red wine around in his glass as his eyes hold mine.
“Like you want to do unspeakable things to them.”
Electricity sparks through the air.
“There are no people here.” In slow motion he lifts his glass to his lips and takes a sip. “Only you.”
And I feel it, like an undercurrent, the pull toward him is so strong.
“Then you should take only me home and do all the unspeakable things.”
“I intend to.” He raises his eyebrow; our eyes are locked and damn…how is he so freaking hot?
He stands and takes my hand and leads me out of the restaurant, my mouth falls open in wonder as I look up into the sky. “Look, it’s snowing.”
“I ordered it just for you.” Mr. Doe smiles down at me.
“Thank you.” I giggle.
Wouldn’t surprise me at all if he had that power.
I slide my arm under his overcoat and he puts his arm around me as we walk down the sidewalk toward the car. The hotel security guards are with us again and were loitering around out the front of the hotel while we had dinner.
The Establishment sure does offer great security, no wonder it’s so expensive.
One of the security men opens the back door of the black SUV and we climb into the car. Mr. Doe holds my hand in his lap and turns his attention to out the window.
He seems lost in his own thoughts and I wonder if he is dreading saying goodbye tomorrow half as much as I am.
As we drive into the snowy night I know I have to count my blessings, no matter what happens in the future, I’m grateful for the time that we have had together…even if it is limited.
It’s been a beautiful day and that was a wonderful dinner date. Probably the best I’ve ever been on.
My mind wanders to the night we are about to have, I have no idea what is about to unfold and I’m nervous and excited, perhaps even a little terrified.
Let’s do this.