14. Chapter 14
Justin and I walked out of chemistry class after taking a test. I was drained. School and tests always wore me out when I had to be up extra early to work, so I didn’t have much time to study at night.
“I’m not sure I would’ve gotten through that test without you, Just.”
He bumped my shoulder and smiled down at me, since he was taller. His brown hair fell in his face, and he combed the strands back with his fingers. “You would’ve been fine.”
“I wish I didn’t have to work so much, but we need the money.”
Justin shoved open the door that led outside, and we were blasted by frigid air and an overcast sky, promising more snow later tonight. Even in the snow, I had to find a way to get to work.
“Man, your dad needs to get his shit together. You can’t carry all this weight on your own. It’s a lot of pressure and responsibility.”
I wish it were that simple. “Well, my boyfriend is helping me, too. He’s so sweet. I keep telling him he doesn’t have to do anything. I love him for him and not for his money, but he always insists.”
“So, it’s love then?”
“Yep.”
“That was fast. It’s been what? A month?”
“Yeah, just over a month, but the heart wants what it wants.”
“Have you told him?”
“Yes. And he loves me, too.” I didn’t bother to explain to Justin that Easton loved differently. His love language is protecting me and taking care of me. He probably wouldn’t understand.
“Well, congrats then. Now it’s my turn to find someone, but shit, dating women is so hard. You have to find someone you’re attracted to, find someone you’re compatible with, and then she’s gotta like you back. A lot don’t even want to date anymore, so pickings are slim.”
“I’m sure you’ll find someone. You’re attractive and an amazing person. It takes time, I’m sure. Once you do, I’m sure you’ll find someone perfect for you.”
“I hope. My hand is getting boring, man. ”
A laugh escaped me as I shifted the backpack slung over my shoulder. “It really is. I have to admit it’s nice to have sex again, and with someone who knows what he’s doing.”
Justin grunted in irritation. “Sure, rub it in my face.”
I laughed as I looked over at the bus stop half a block away to find my bus was there already. “Shit! Gotta go! See ya!”
“Bye,” he yelled after me as I ran.
It took nearly forty minutes to get home with the constant stop-and-go of the bus. At least it had heaters.
When it finally reached my stop, I hopped off and walked the three blocks home. It was dark out, and I hated walking in this neighborhood at night. It wasn’t the safest. I swore there was a meth house down the street. All kinds of weird people came and went out of there.
I finally reached home, unlocked the door, and closed it behind me, locking it promptly. Despite the neighborhood, we never had any problems with crime at the house. Still, you couldn’t be too careful, which was why I didn’t want that car that Easton gave me here.
“Dad? Annie?”
“Your sister is staying at a friend’s house overnight,” Dad said from the kitchen.
The house didn’t smell like dinner was cooking. Usually, Dad was making it when he got home from work. Great, that meant I had to do it, and I was tired.
I stepped into the kitchen to find him hunched over the scarred kitchen table with several opened cans of beer.
He was drunk. My day couldn’t have gone better. Jesus. He did not need another damn addiction .
I dropped my backpack onto the floor, gathered the empty cans, and tossed them into the blue container sitting in the garage.
When I returned to the kitchen, he was sipping on another beer. I sighed and went to the fridge to find something to make for us. There wasn’t much. We needed groceries again soon.
“Sandwiches it is,” I mumbled.
I pulled out some ham and took a sniff. It seemed good. Then I grabbed some cheddar cheese, mustard, and mayonnaise. In the pantry, I grabbed the loaf of bread that had six slices of white bread left.
After making two sandwiches, I put one in front of my dad. “Eat.”
He shoved the plate away as I sat down to eat mine. “Not hungry.”
I suddenly slammed my hand hard on the table, startling him and myself. I rarely got angry and lashed out.
“Enough! What is wrong with you? I get it. You were sad that Mom died. We all are. I still miss her. But your gambling and drinking are getting out of hand! I’m sick of it.
I cannot carry the burden of taking care of this family.
I’m trying to get an education, Dad . I’m trying to better my life, but you’re making it very difficult to focus on my studies, and I’m tired all the time with work. ”
He scowled but said nothing as he tossed back the rest of his beer, stood, and grabbed another. I mumbled a curse under my breath.
“Dammit, Dad!”
“I lost my job, okay?” he boomed, reeling at me .
My gut dropped to the ground as my mind careened with worry about what we were going to do now. “W-what? How? Why?”
I had that money Easton gave me, but it wouldn’t hold us forever, and there was no way I’d ask for more.
God, I’d have to quit school to work at night.
I was never getting out of here. The thought gut-punched me.
My life was over before it barely began, all because my dad couldn’t get his shit together.
He sat back down and opened the tab on the beer can. “I’ve missed too much work, so they fired me.”
“Why? Why are you missing so much work? You haven’t been sick.” But I knew why. He’d been out at the racetrack or the casino.
“I have to make my money back, dammit! I’ve been losing too much, and…”
He put his hands on his face and sobbed.
Jesus . I could feel the impending doom from here.
I didn’t go to him, reassure him, or pat his back, and tell him we’d figure it out. He needed to understand the implications of his actions and that nothing would be okay.
When he calmed down, he wiped his face and sipped more beer. “So, we won’t have any income for a while. We’ll have to rely on yours. Do you… have anything I can borrow?”
“Fuck!” I rarely swore, but this called for it. “You just lost your job, and you’re asking to borrow money from me, your son, who barely makes enough to keep us afloat? You want to take my hard-earned money and bet on it?”
It was his turn to slam his hand on the table. “Dammit! Just listen! If I can bet on Daisy Chain in the next race, the winnings will be massive! I’ll be able to put you and Annie through college. All our money problems will go away, Tommy. Don’t you get it?”
“I’m not feeding your addiction!”
“Yeah, well, fuck you! Then we’ll just starve.”
My eyes popped out of my head. My dad had periodic mood swings since all this began, but he’d never said those words to me.
I always believed he still loved us. Now I thought that his addiction was all he loved.
All that I’d done to contribute to the household and take care of Annie wasn’t enough in his eyes.
I was useless if I couldn’t contribute to his gambling.
My eyes watered, feeling like I was losing another parent. Just because he was breathing didn’t mean he was here. I shoved my uneaten sandwich away, stood, and left the kitchen.
“Tommy? Tommy, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it,” he yelled after me. I ignored him and headed up to my room, now hungry, but I couldn’t be in that kitchen a second longer.
The pain and desperation pulled out the tears, and I sobbed where I stood. I hated it when I got like this. I felt helpless.
When I calmed down, I wiped my nose with the back of my hand, pulled out my phone from my back pocket, and fell into my bed. My phone. The phone I bought and paid for. The phone I paid for services on because Dad was useless. I bought one for Annie, too, so I could keep track of her.
Me: You okay?
Annie: Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? I’m at Jasmine’s.
Me: Good. Do I need to get you in the morning?
Annie: Her parents will drive me home .
I almost told her that Dad lost his job, but she was having fun. No point in ruining her day just yet.
Me: Have fun and text me if you need anything.
Annie: Yep
Me: Love you, Boo.
I smiled at her heart emoji.
After some thought, I texted Easton. He wasn’t very chatty through text, but I wanted to know he was around. I could call him, but he hated talking on the phone.
Me: You around?
The three dots quickly appeared at the bottom of the screen, and my heart fluttered at how quickly he responded, like he was just waiting for me.
Easton: Is something wrong?
I laughed at his constant worry for me.
Me: Yeah, kind of. Dad lost his job today.
Easton: Let me guess. He stopped showing up for work?
Me: How’d you know?
Easton: I’ve been researching gambling addictions.
Me: You’re so smart. Yeah, he’s done. He needs to find
more work, but now I’ve got to be the man of the house.
Easton: I can make him stop.
Me: No one can make him stop but him.
Easton: Try me.
I shuddered at his words, so commanding and cold. I had no doubt he could definitely get Dad to stop, but it wouldn’t last before he was gambling again.
Me: You studied it. You know he has to stop on his own
to be successful.
Easton: There are other ways.
What did he mean? I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
Me: I’ll figure it out. I just needed someone to talk to.
Easton: Do you need more money?
Me: I’m NOT asking you for more money. No. I’ll
probably have to quit school and find a second job now,
though. It’s fine. I can go back to school later.
Easton: You will NOT quit.
Me: Do not send me more money. I didn’t text you for
money.
Easton: As if you have a choice. I won’t have you
starving, unable to pay your bills, and working so many
hours that I never see you. Absolutely not.
My bank suddenly sent me a text notification. With shaking hands, I opened the bank app and read the dollar amount, unable to process what I was seeing, which had nothing to do with my blurry vision from the freshly sprung tears .
One hundred thousand dollars.
Holy fuck.
That was more money than my dad made in a year. My hand rushed to my mouth as a sob escaped me. Once again, Easton reminded me how much he cared for and loved me in his own way. Making sure I had all that I needed was his love language. Still… God, it was way too much.
Easton: Your father does not see a dime of that.
Understood?
Me: Yes. God, Superman… I love you so much. Thank
you.
Easton: You’re welcome.
Me: What are you doing right now? Are you going to
stop by the coffee shop tomorrow?
Me: Never mind. It’s Saturday.
Easton: I’m packing. I’ll be gone for a couple of days.
I’ll see you Monday morning.
Me: Okay. Again, I love you. Talk to you soon.
Easton: Goodnight.
What a weird emotional rollercoaster, all in an hour. One minute, my world was crashing around me, and the next, Easton swoops in once again, saving the day. My Superman. My hero.
With relief down to the core of my soul, I climbed out of bed and headed to the kitchen to eat my sandwich. Easton would get upset with me if he knew I hadn’t eaten.
My sandwich and dad were still there at the table. I sat down and took a bite of the ham and cheese .
“Tommy?” he slurred. “I’m so sorry I said that. I’ll… look for a job tomorrow, okay?”
“Sure, Dad,” I sighed. “We’ll figure it out.”
But I knew he wouldn’t.