Chapter 12 #2
Enough already. Stop thinking about Ciro. You’re just tired.
Falina hip-bumped me as I filled a saltshaker, making me nearly spill. “I want you to get a good night’s sleep tonight. Maybe leave Pippa with Alba overnight so you can catch a solid night’s rest.”
Was she crazy?
“I can’t do that. She needs me.” And I needed to snuggle my daughter. Pathetic much? Probably, but I needed my infant, so I didn’t feel lonely. Pippa kept me from drowning in the loss of her daddy. She was my light. My joy. My heart.
“Why not? You know my cousin will keep her. You’re running yourself ragged. I see it in your eyes, babe. You’re exhausted. Let Alba keep Pippa overnight.”
I snorted, even though her words stung. “Gee, thanks. Nothing like hearing you look like crap to make you feel like crap.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know. You’re not wrong. I am exhausted.
” And after seeing Ciro yesterday, my emotions were in overdrive, which added to my normal stress.
“Pippa’s waking up and fussing in the middle of the night.
Neither of us are sleeping well. It could be teething, but I haven’t felt anything yet.
” I hated the thought of her getting teeth.
What would it mean for us and our precious nursing time?
“All the more reason to leave her at Alba’s for one night.”
“What about my boobs? I usually nurse her three times before I come into work.”
“I noticed you took a while in the bathroom a few minutes ago.”
“Yeah, I had to relieve some of the pressure. There’s nothing worse than expressing breast milk into the drain.” I frowned, hating that I hadn’t brought an extra bottle. Should have known Keri would call off. I grabbed my breasts. “I need my ladies emptied by a professional.”
Falina giggled. “So go nurse her first, then go home, alone. I’m worried about you.”
A yawn took hold of me before I could say anything. I covered my mouth, my eyes tearing up. Nine thirty was past my bedtime. By the time I drove an hour to Alba’s and fed Pippa, it would be after eleven by the time I got home.
“See? Don’t come in tomorrow until one.”
Did I hear her right? “One? Dudley needs me here at ten.”
“He’ll be fine. Leave Pippa with Alba and don’t show up until one tomorrow. Got it?”
Falina acted as if she had a say in mine and my child’s life, but the truth was, I needed a break. Just a little one. Just one night of uninterrupted sleep.
I smiled back and agreed. “You’re right. One night won’t hurt.”
“Exactly. One night will restore you. Make you a better mom.”
I nodded, filling the last jar of salt.
“Now go on. You’ve been here long enough. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She didn’t have to tell me twice. I stopped what I was doing and made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed my coat and purse, practically running out the door as I shot Alba a quick text.
Isla: Leaving WE now!
Alba: I’ll have her ready to eat!
At least there wasn’t much traffic after nine in the evening. However, it still felt like it took forever to get to Alba’s place with my boobs aching worse than I could ever remember experiencing.
I blasted music to distract me.
Sang along off pitch on purpose.
Bounced in my seat as if I had to pee. But now that I thought of it, my bladder was full.
I was literally sweating as I pulled in front of Alba’s duplex forty-two minutes later and bolted out of the car and ran to her door.
It flung open. “Wow! You made it in record time.” She laughed with my baby in her arms.
“I’m dying here.” I snatched Pippa out of Alba’s arms, smothered her with kisses as I sat and unhooked my bra. She squirmed, equally desperate for my mommy juice. “Here you go lovebug.”
She latched on and the letdown was immediate… On both sides.
“Shoot. The dam broke. I need a towel or burp rag.”
Alba quickly got me a dish cloth. “You look exhausted, babe.”
“I am.” I stuffed the towel into my bra, then relaxed in the chair, and stared at my baby. “Not only did I have to work a double, but I also had to train a new guy.”
“New guy? Was he good looking?”
“He wasn’t ugly.”
“Ooh, tell me more.” Alba sat across from me on the sofa.
“Don’t get excited. I’m not interested.” I lifted my gaze and met hers.
“Oh, pooh.” She rolled her eyes.
“You might be interested though. He’s going to be a doctor, family practice.”
“Girl, sign me up!” Her face brightened and she shimmied her shoulders. “I’d love to have someone to split the bills with.”
God, me too. “I have a major favor to ask.” I bit my bottom lip.
“Ask. But the answer is yes.”
I shook my head. “You don’t even know what I’m going to say. I might want to switch jobs with you so I could be home with Pippa.”
“And I’d say yes.” She smiled, her eyes full of love and compassion.
“Stop it. You’re going to make me cry.” I kissed Pippa’s head and inhaled her intoxicating scent into my lungs. This child was my lifeline. She kept me going and surviving each abysmal day. My little lovebug was my whole world.
“Ask me, Isla.”
“Will you keep her tonight? I just need a full night’s sleep.”
“Yes, babe. Of course I will. I have two extra pouches of breast milk in the freezer. We’ll be just fine.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you. Sort of wish we could go back to high school.
I’d do so many things differently.” The day after I ended it with Ciro, I’d called Alba, my bestie since middle school.
She’d moved to the Bay Area right after we graduated high school to be closer to her cousin, Falina.
If I’d gone home to Pasadena, my mother and sister would’ve inserted themselves into my life and tried to control me.
Everything worked out for the best because Alba was the only person I trusted to watch Pippa.
But things were far from perfect now that my sister had moved into my apartment building and the unit next to mine.
She and her sketchy, abusive boyfriend were making my life a living hell.
I was close to moving into Alba’s small duplex and sleeping on an air mattress just to get away from them.
“Don’t go there,” Alba told me softly. “You wouldn’t have Pippa if you hadn’t met Ciro.”
“You’re right.” I nodded and bit my bottom lip, fighting the emotions building inside me. I should tell her I saw him and not avoid it. “He showed up at the bistro yesterday.”
“What?” She gaped and sat forward. “Is he the rich guy Falina told me about?”
“I assume so. I didn’t see him today, but I did yesterday.”
“And you’re just now telling me?” The disbelief on her face made me feel like a horrible friend.
“I was hoping it was all a bad dream and didn’t want to think about him, much less discuss him.”
“Oh my gosh.” She cradled her face in her hands. “Do you think he knows about Pippa? This could get ugly really fast, Isla.”
“I know, but I don’t think he does.” I took my baby off my breast and burped her. “I doubt he’d let me go anywhere without seeing her.” Or snatching her away from me, but I didn’t dare breathe those words into the universe.
My stomach churned at the thought of losing custody of Pippa. Ciro and his family were powerful and though they’d been kind to me, I had a feeling they could be ruthless when disrespected or betrayed.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“Just what I’ve been doing. Living my life and caring for my baby. For all I know, he’s returned to Canada after I told him to leave, and I’ll never hear from him again.”
“You can only hope, babe.”
Hope and pray I’d seen the last of him…