Chapter 19
ISLA
Curled into a ball, my eyes flashed open, feeling warmth against my back and wetness at my chest. My brain processed the situation at a snail’s speed, then a familiar sound caused me to tense my body.
The peaceful hum of his snoring made me hold my breath.
Ciro.
Why was he in bed with me?
Carefully I reached for my phone to check the time.
The room was bright, which wasn’t a good sign.
It was definitely after seven in the morning.
My eyeballs nearly popped out of my head; 8:42 a.m. It was way later than I was expecting.
I hadn’t slept this late since Pippa was born.
The thought of her made my breasts leak more. Shit!
“Wake up.” I shoved Ciro, furious at him for being in my bed and threw off my blankets. “Why are you in my bed?”
He groaned and slowly opened his eyes, blinking several times. He said nothing as he stared at me.
“What?”
“Why is your shirt wet? I see your nipples.” He dragged his tongue across his bottom lip.
“I leaked.” I covered each breast with my hands, clenching my thighs. “Normally by this time, Pippa has eaten.”
“You breastfeed her?”
“Yes. Why are you in my bed?” My face felt warm as he drank me in. Being this close to Ciro was wrecking my nerves.
“I’m not in your bed. I’m on it and fully dressed. Your sofa is shit. I figured you wouldn’t mind.”
“I do mind.” I huffed, standing up and pulling out a bra and a new shirt from the dresser. “My sofa is just fine. You’re just spoiled.”
“Seriously? Your sofa was killing my back.” The jerk laughed, deep from his throat. It made me hot and bothered and sad.
This was us, Ciro and Isla. Flirty and teasing, revving up sexual tension just before we fell into bed. I needed to get away from him, or I just might jump his bones.
Again, old habits die hard.
“It’s not like you knew I was sleeping here. You were dead to the world.” He rose up on his elbows and stared at me in that hungry-gotta-have-you way.
“Whatever.” I pretended to be unaffected, opening the bedroom door. No chance I’d change in front of him, even though he’d seen me naked hundreds of times. I wasn’t normally a modest girl, but I was now.
“Or did you feel me spooning you?” His question made me freeze just as I was about to dart into the bathroom. “You felt better than I remembered. Fuller hips, and your breasts—”
“Liar! Just stop already!” I stormed out of the room.
“Am I lying though?” The rich sound of his laugh reached into my core. Damn him for acting as if we hadn’t been apart for over a year.
Like he hadn’t broken my heart.
Locked in the bathroom, I stared at myself in the mirror. Unshed tears brimmed at the rim of my eyes. I couldn’t remember anything after he left my room last night. I would know if he’d spooned me, wouldn’t I?
Damn him!
I pulled my bottoms down and peed. After I finished and flushed the toilet, I brushed my teeth, splashed water on my face, and combed through my hair.
Short hair, mom-hair, was so much easier to deal with than long hair. I spritzed it into place with hairspray and got dressed.
My breasts suddenly ached, reminding me I needed to feed Pippa. I could pump and fill a couple of bottles for later. I shook my head. Pumping would just keep us here longer. Instead, I expressed some milk into the sink for a bit of relief. What choice did I have with Ciro in the other room?
“Isla.” Ciro knocked on the door. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
I rolled my eyes as I squirted my liquid gold into the sink, then switched to the other side. Such waste hurt my heart.
Ciro wasn’t sorry. He knew exactly how to make me flustered. After a few more squirts, I clasped my bra cup and pulled my black V-neck shirt down.
“Can I come in?” He knocked again.
“I’m finished.” I swung the door open and stepped out, eager to get away from him. I didn’t get far when he grabbed my elbow. I gasped in surprise, being reeled against his body.
We stared into each other’s eyes for a long beat.
“Breathe,” he whispered.
I sucked in a deep breath, my eyes wide. He knew me too damn well.
“Good morning.” Those smoldering-brown eyes twinkled. What the hell?
“Whatever.” I pulled my arm away from him and rushed into the kitchen, then braced myself against the counter as I trembled from his touch.
Ciro always could get me flustered. Since the first day he talked to me, he had thrown me off balance, but in a good way. He kept me on my toes, and I’d like to believe I’d done the same to him. I never fell at his feet to worship him like other women. He had to pursue me, not the other way around
No other man had paid so much attention to me like Ciro. Honestly, his acute awareness of me when we were together or in the same space was what made leaving him so difficult.
Ciro knew me inside and out. He could read my expressions and body language as if he’d studied a how-to manual on me, Isla Martin.
He was my person, but sadly, I hadn’t been his.
Girl, stop it! Put on your armor and be ready for battle. He’ll be ruthless. Won’t make things easy. He’ll do anything to get his child.
My stomach churned as I filled the carafe with water to make a pot of strong coffee. Caffeine would help wake me up, but it might make me nauseous. I pushed the start button anyway and grabbed my favorite mug off the shelf on the wall. I couldn’t worry about a queasy stomach. I needed to be alert.
“Hey, do you have an extra toothbrush?” he called from the bathroom.
“Didn’t you bring one?” I grumbled, walking into the hallway. I smacked into Ciro’s firm chest. “Ah!”
He smirked, clearly amused by my clumsiness. “Yes, I brought my own, but it’s at my hotel.”
“Then go get it.” I held my stance firmly.
“And risk you not letting me back in?” He arched his dark eyebrow, staring down at me. “I’ll just use that pretty pink one on the counter.”
“No, that’s mine.”
“Not like we haven’t exchanged cooties thousands of times before.” He raked his eyes up and down my body.
I saw it. The look he always got when he wanted to ravage me. The one that guaranteed I was about to go soaring on an extended orgasmic trip.
Warmth gathered between my thighs.
My heart rate kicked up a thousand notches.
But no. No. No. No.
“Don’t be a jerk. I have a spare for when my boyfriend forgets his.” I tittered, pleased with my reply, and went into the bathroom.
“Boyfriend?” His tone was severe, and fury rolled off him in massive waves as he glared at me.
Retrieving a new toothbrush from the drawer, I slammed it into his chest. “Here. Blue and masculine.”
“Answer my question,” he hissed.
I ignored him and went back into the kitchen, my heart racing frantically. I wouldn’t give him the pleasure of an answer. My private life wasn’t his business. Not that I had much of a life or a boyfriend. But Ciro didn’t need to know that.
The coffee finished brewing, so I poured myself a cup and scanned my small living room. Where was the safest place to sit? I needed to keep Ciro away from me.
My apartment was tiny. There was only a small kitchen table for two and one sofa. I could stand or sit on the floor…
Why in the hell wasn’t Ciro still pissed off at me for keeping Pippa a secret? He wasn’t behaving at all the way I imagined he would after learning he had a daughter.
I turned around when I felt Ciro’s presence.
“Mind if I pour me a cup?” He appeared composed. The flirty glint in his eyes minutes ago was gone, and I hated that I missed it.
God, he was a strikingly handsome man. I throbbed down low, desperate to feel him inside me.
To feel his lips on mine and hands caressing my skin.
I’d always enjoyed when he overpowered me, holding my wrists above my head when he plowed into me.
I might come just recalling how passionate and powerful sex had been with him.
“Isla? Coffee?” His voice jerked me out of my thoughts.
Get your head out of the gutter!
“Sure. Help yourself.” I decided to stay standing. This way, I could move away from him faster.
“Where do you want me? On the sofa or at the table?”
“Wherever you’re most comfortable.” I sipped my coffee, peering over the rim as he considered his options.
My home was miles below his standards. When we were together, he wouldn’t even stay at my mother’s house when she was out of town. Then again, he rarely let me spend the night with him—pompous jerk.
I swallowed thickly, remembering how much he had hurt me. I loved Ciro deeply. Loved every part of him, even the spoiled, self-centered parts.
Stupid Isla. Not only had you fallen for a man who would never love you, but you also had his baby.
“You’re lost in the past. Don’t go there,” he told me in a firm tone.
I swooped my eyes at him on the sofa. He held me captive like a million times before, still turning me to putty with his mesmerizing gaze.
“That’s easier said than done.” I squared my shoulders and raised my chin. “Tell me what your expectations are about Pippa.”
“Just like that?” He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, coffee mug in his hands.
“What?” I asked in an annoyed tone, even though I was more nervous than annoyed.
“I thought we’d talk about us first.” He set the mug on the end table as if preparing for… A battle?
“There is no us.”
“There is, and we’re going to talk about us.” He emphasized us through gritted teeth.
I took two steps back, shaking my head.
“I’ve missed you. We’ll talk about the baby after we discuss what will happen between us.”
“Her name is Pippa.”
He sighed. “Yes, Pippa.”
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other as Ciro stared at me, with a look of determination to get what he wanted. I hated how he unnerved me and how my body reacted with want and need.
“Do you have a boyfriend? Is there a man in your life who took my place?”
“Your place?” I scoffed, shaking my head. “How can you say that? You didn’t want a place in my life.”
“Is there? Has he been a father to my daughter?” Ciro’s nostrils flared. I didn’t want to torment him. Finding out he had a daughter couldn’t have been easy for the man who didn’t want children. Strangely, he didn’t seem furious anymore. Maybe he didn’t want her and was only curious about her.
“No. There’s no one.” Pippa and I had no one.
“I’m relieved.” He exhaled a deep breath. “I won’t have to fight another man for you.” He winked, bringing the charm back. His cocky bravado infuriated me.
“I’m not a prize to be won.”
“I know you’re not,” he calmly replied.
“No, you don’t. You’re still so damn arrogant. Cocky. Self-serving. Everything is always about what you want.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Sure, it is.” I paused for a second then continued. “You can’t just show up and take what you want. You can’t seduce me with your charm and make me fall back into bed with you.”
“I’m up for the challenge.” He gave me a wicked smile, that got my juices flowing.
“It’s never going to happen.”
“Yes, it will.”
I took a step back and prepared to bolt out the door. “Listen to you. You don’t give a damn about what I want.”
“I’m sorry. For everything.” His eyes softened. I almost believed he meant it. Almost.
“I don’t care. What about Pippa?”
“Why are you acting like this?” He stood. Genuine confusion flickered in his eyes. “You left me. You kept my daughter from me. I should be furious with you. But I’m trying to be rational. Calm. And you’re acting like I destroyed you.”
“You did destroy me. You broke my heart when you didn’t want me,” I shot back. “You sure as hell didn’t want kids. So please just leave us alone.”
“Goddammit, Isla!” Ciro charged toward me and gripped my shoulders, faster than I could run away from him. “I’m fucking sorry for everything! But I did lo… lo—”
“Don’t say another word.” I jerked myself out of his grasp and spilled coffee on the floor. “Shit,” I hissed and went to retrieve a paper towel.
If he thought telling me he loved me after all this time would make up for the thousands of lost opportunities before, he had another thing coming.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t what you needed at the time. I was scared.”
“Pippa… She’s all we’re going to talk about,” I said, soaking up the coffee from the carpet. Luckily it was already brown.
“You can’t avoid us.”
“Oh yes, I can.” I went to toss the paper towel into the trash. “I’m going to finish getting ready, then we’ll go see her.”
“We need to talk,” he growled.
“We’ll talk in the car.”
“Jesus, Isla,” he hissed, brushing his fingers through his wavy hair. “This isn’t what I expected.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you can return to your perfect, uncomplicated life tomorrow.”
His face turned red as he balled his hands into fists. “If you think I’m leaving here tomorrow without you and my daughter on my goddamn jet, you are out of your fucking mind!” And he blew. This was how I expected Ciro to react. Primal and possessive.
“Just get it all out, Ciro. I won’t have you yelling or swearing in front of my daughter.”
“My daughter!” he roared. “Our daughter!” Ciro heaved, and I saw the resolution in his eyes. He wouldn’t give up until he got what he wanted.
My chest rattled with emotion. I’d pushed him too far. Why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut?
“Just calm down,” I told him in a calm voice. “I’ll be ready in ten minutes.” I left Ciro there with his hands on his head. I’d take the full ten minutes to give him time to get himself under control.
I’d poked the bear.
Would he bite back? Slay the threat to his livelihood?
Punish me for betraying him?