Chapter 29 #2
Luca glared at me. I was sure he’d corner me later for answers.
“Not exactly.” I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want my family to be angry at Isla. “When I went to see her, I asked Fabio Ferrari to investigate her. He discovered the baby.”
“I imagine that was quite a shock,” Rosa said with compassion.
“It was.” I nodded, taking a sip of my drink.
“Then she wasn’t going to tell you?” Padre asked, aghast.
“It doesn’t matter. I know now and spent the weekend with them.” It did matter to me, but I tried not to dwell on it. If I focused on Isla’s betrayal, I might not forgive her. She wasn’t the only one to blame. I had a part too, and my actions were what kept her from telling me about Pippa.
“In San Francisco? She moved there?” Luca was still hovering on the edge of fury. I wasn’t sure who he was angrier with, Isla or me.
“Yes.”
“Well…” Padre stood from his seat. “I’ll pack my bag. Get the jet ready.”
I stood, blocking his path. “Where are you going?”
“Ciro.” He narrowed his eyes. “Move.”
“Padre, you can’t travel. You just had surgery.” I touched his arm. “Let’s talk about this some more.”
“Why didn’t they come with you?”
“Isla has a job. I’ll bringing them as soon as she can get away.” I knew he wouldn’t sit back and wait to meet his granddaughter. Family meant everything to Padre.
“I will not wait another day to see my granddaughter.” His voice rose several octaves. “I’m not getting any younger and could have died last week.”
“Can I see my niece?” Luca reached for the phone, interrupting us.
Padre handed it to him with a sigh, then he said, “Ciro, send me all the pictures.”
“Of course. Please, sit down. There’s more.” I nodded at the spot beside Rosa, drained my glass, then passed it to Roman for a refill.
“What more can there be?” Padre asked.
“I hurt Isla deeply. She’s hesitant about coming.”
Rosa’s eyes went wide.
“Don’t worry. I’m going to do everything I can to make it up to her. But I’m confident she won’t agree to move to the estate with us… With me.” I stared at my sister, hoping she would be the voice of reason. “If I’m honest, I don’t know how I feel about her and the baby living here.”
“Are you insane?” Luca blurted. “You don’t know if you want your daughter living with you? She’s your child. Our blood.”
“You know the dangers.” My brothers and sister had lost their mothers as I had.
Falling in love and getting married hadn’t been high on my brothers’ to-do list. But unlike them, who’d only been told about their mother’s death, I had been present when mine had been gunned down. I couldn’t go through that again.
Roman handed me my glass and faded back.
“Then talk to a therapist,” my sister said. “This is your daughter we’re talking about. Or does it have to do with Isla?”
“No. I care about Isla very much. It’s why I went to her. I missed her.”
“But you don’t love her.” Rosa’s voice was laced with sadness.
“I didn’t say that.” I rubbed the side of my face and took a large gulp of brandy.
I’d known having this conversation wouldn’t be easy, but I hadn’t anticipated the enormous guilt I’d feel.
Everything that had gone wrong with Isla was my fault.
“I do…” My throat instantly constricted.
Why couldn’t I admit my feelings? “I just need time to figure this out.”
Rosa shook her head disappointedly. “When are Isla and the baby coming?”
“I’m hoping next week.”
“Hoping?” Padre hiked a displeased brow.
“She said she would come but she needed a little time.” I understood her worries. My father could be intimidating and harsh when he felt betrayed. The last thing I needed was for him to lash out at Isla.
“Not good enough. I want to see them right away. Tomorrow,” Padre demanded.
“Try to understand. She hasn’t had an easy time of it. I don’t want to disrupt her life.”
“Explain yourself, Ciro. My patience is waning.” If I didn’t defuse my father quickly, he would be on the jet within the hour.
“She hasn’t had much help financially.” I gulped as my stomach tightened.
My father furrowed his brows. “I’m sure I’m not going to like hearing this.”
“I’m sure you won’t.” I glanced at Roman, who’d remained more silent than I expected. “Isla works at a bistro. She works a lot and her friend Alba watches Pippa. Isla’s an excellent mother. Exemplary, really. But she’s exhausted.”
“And what are you doing about that?” Padre asked curtly.
“About what?”
“About her obvious struggles.” He glared at me.
“Currently, they’re in a hotel and Paolo is guarding them.” I regretted going down this road the second my father’s eyes bulged.
“Why are they in a hotel?” It was like he could read my thoughts. I didn’t want my family to know about Isla’s crappy car or that her apartment complex wasn’t safe.
Shit.
Isla was a proud, independent woman, but my father had high expectations for his family. Once he knew where Isla and the baby had been living, he’d probably disown me for leaving them in California.
“Are all these questions necessary?” Roman interjected.
Finally!
“I’m just trying to find out about Isla and the baby. If she’s struggling, I want to know in what ways so I can help her and the baby,” Padre replied. “No grandchild of mine will live in squalor.”
“Yes, I understand. But Ciro needs to figure this out. It’s his child. Give him a chance.” Roman became my hero.
“Fine. Where do you think she’ll be most comfortable, your suite or in the guest wing?” Padre asked.
I lowered my gaze to the polished wooden floors. Isla staying anywhere without me didn’t feel right. “I don’t know.” But in my room? That didn’t feel right either.
“Then ask her,” Rosa said. “I need to know where to put all the baby gear.”
“Baby gear?”
My sister sighed. “Crib, toys, blankets… Do you not know what a baby needs?”
I dragged my hand along my scruffy jaw. “I guess I don’t. Isla didn’t have a lot of stuff for the baby.” Dammit, I shouldn’t have said that either.
“I cannot take this anymore. I want to talk to Isla and find out how she’s doing myself. The way you’re talking, it sounds like they’re living in a homeless shelter.” Rosa rubbed her round belly as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“Poverty,” Padre hissed through clenched teeth.
“Can you all just trust me?” I asked, pleadingly. My sister wasn’t usually so pushy. She was refined with a calm nature. This mama bear side must have been induced by pregnancy hormones.
“I’m sorry, Ciro, but I want to talk to her.” I knew she’d stand firm in her resolve. I was just grateful she didn’t push flying out tonight too. In her current state, I doubted Wolf would’ve allowed it, so I’d compromise with her to help ease her mind.
“Fine… But not today.”
“Just go back and make her come,” Padre said.
“At least tell her we would love for her to bring the baby so we can meet her.” Rosa patted our father’s knee to keep him calm.
“I can’t risk upsetting Isla. She feels awful about keeping the baby a secret. Anyway, she’s probably in bed. She starts work early tomorrow and won’t be off until five.”
Rosa looked heartbroken. “She should be with the baby.”
“I agree. But Isla doesn’t want to leave her boss shorthanded.” I wanted this conversation to be over. I’d had enough of my family’s questions.
“So she’ll quit her job? Then what?” Luca asked, joining back into the conversation.
All this time, Wolf and Roman had been quietly listening. I expected as much since this wasn’t about the family’s business. This was my personal affairs, which neither would interfere in.
“I don’t have an answer for you, Luca. Isla wasn’t sure about quitting her job because there’s a lot to still figure out with Pippa and us.”
“That’s utter bullshit.” He stood and faced me. “We all loved Isla. We thought she was the one. We took her into our family, then you pushed her away.”
“I know what I did!” I hated being reminded of my stupidity. I lived with it, for fuck’s sake.
“Do you?” Luca glared, almost seething. “Do you really understand the depth of her pain? She was pregnant. She went through it all by herself, because you know her mom and sister wouldn’t have been there for her. And from what you said, or didn’t say, she’s poor!”
“Goddammit! I know!” I could beat the shit out of the little prick for blowing this up more than necessary. I would make sure Isla and Pippa had everything they needed and more. He didn’t need to be up my ass about it.
“I don’t think you do, brother. That woman would’ve done anything for you.
She loved you beyond what you deserved after the way you treated her.
You really must have done a number on her if she didn’t reach out to the rest of us for help!
” He ran his fingers through his hair, the pain in his eyes palpable.
I lost it.
I grabbed Luca by the collar of his shirt, ready to beat the crap out of him. “Shut the fuck up! You don’t know shit about Isla and me.”
“What are you going to do? Punch me?” he growled. “Go for it, big brother. I can take you!”
“Abbastanza!” my father shouted enough in Italian and pointed at us. “Voi due mi imbarazzate.” He went on telling us we embarrassed him.
Roman stepped forward. “Ciro, let go of him.”
I shoved Luca away. My fucking heart hammered in my chest, nostrils flaring. I was so damn angry at my brother for pointing out the truth. Nobody liked being called out, me especially.
But I was the head of the family, the Don, and my little brother should know when to keep his fucking mouth shut.
“I want Isla and Pippa in our lives,” Luca said in between breaths. “If you don’t love her, be straight with her. Don’t give her false hope. Because I warn you, brother. If you hurt her again, I will kick your motherfucking ass!”
“Luca!” Rosa yelled after him as he stormed out of the study. “I’ll talk to him.” My sister waddled out of the room, and Wolf followed her.
I’d never seen my brother so angry. I wondered if his protectiveness had to do with him falling for Isla at the same time I had.
She’d chosen me, but I wouldn’t worry about that now.
It might lead me down a self-destructive path, one where I gave up Isla so she could be with Luca. He didn’t fear love as much as I did.
What was I thinking?
Isla would never be with my brother, and I sure as hell couldn’t stand seeing her with him or any other man.
“He’ll be fine. He just needs time to cool down.” Padre waved his hand in the hair and reached for his glass of water.
“I need to go.” I paced with my hands on my head.
I was done trying to explain the situation.
Isla was my issue. Nobody else’s. Of course, my family was ready to do whatever it took to help her, but frankly, I didn’t want their help.
I needed to fix what I’d broken. One way or another, I’d get her and my daughter under our roof.
“Don’t interfere, Padre. I will fix this. ”
“Good.” His tired eyes were full of disappointment.
I turned away, ashamed and furious with myself.
“Come on.” Roman put his hand on my back.
I had figured he’d want to talk privately. He wasn’t one for making a scene. I could count on him not blowing up at me, unlike Luca.
We went outside into the dark night. I inhaled the cool air and held it in my lungs for a long second. Suddenly I was exhausted. I needed Isla. I wanted to hold her. Kiss her. Make love to her.
Roman put his hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“No.”
“I’d say let’s go out for a drink, but what you really need is rest.” He patted my back. “You look like shit.”
“I feel like shit too. I hardly slept at Isla’s. I’m fucking miserable without them.”
“I can see that. Don’t you think that’s a sign they belong with you?” Roman asked.
“I know they do and I want them with me. But Jesus, if something happened to either of them because of me, I couldn’t live with myself.”
“People die every second of every day. You’re a good person. A bit of a selfish ass at times and stubborn as hell, but that doesn’t make you the cause of your mother’s or Julietta’s death.”
“Padre is the one who said, ‘It’s always the ones we love that are taken from us,’ when he cried, hugging me that day.” I wished I could forget the sound of his brokenness the day my mother was murdered.
“And that’s why you need to talk to a counselor or therapist. You were only five when she was murdered. Padre’s words imprinted on your young brain. You were traumatized. Then your best friend died when you were an impressionable teen. Give yourself a break, man.”
“Yeah, I don’t see that happening. I’m going to bed. Tomorrow, I’ll figure it all out after our meeting with Kira and Wolf.” I peered at the guest house where Kira was staying. Before I brought Isla and Pippa to Canada, I wanted Kira and his men gone.
“I’m sure you will. If you need anything, just ask.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” I squeezed his bicep.
“Let’s grab a late dinner tomorrow.”
“Sure.” I stalked toward the front door, stopped and turned around to face Roman. “I can’t lose them.”
“You won’t, brother.” Roman had better be right.
What would I have to live for if I didn’t have Isla and my daughter?