Chapter Eighteen #2
“Yes.” Staring into his eyes, I could still see the face of the man in charge of Fortorus, yet in the light of the bedroom, those hard edges were smoother.
Being together had revealed a different side to the commander general, but in truth, he was still such an enigma.
I was head over heels for the man, yet I knew virtually nothing about him.
“I agree. We’re settled here, and if we stick around, we can try that Italian restaurant we saw down the road. ”
“Good thinking.” His lips curled. “It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed fresh pasta. Maybe we should head to Italy next. Have you ever been?”
“No.” I stifled my disappointed chuckle. “It was always on my list to travel to, but then... shit happened.”
“Yeah.” He swallowed, presumably knowing what ‘shit’ I referred to. “So, let’s go to Italy together.”
“To Venice?” I couldn’t help but grin at the idea. I’d wanted to visit the city since I was a kid. “I’ve heard it’s very romantic.”
“Yes, to Venice.” Tugging my hand to his face, he kissed the tips of my fingertips. “And Sorrento, and Rome. Wherever you want to go, little girl.”
The life of travel and frivolity he described sounded too good to be true.
Not only would I be free, but I’d be with the man I adored, and we’d be able to go wherever we chose in Europe.
I could hardly imagine that version of myself.
Amidst the happy possibility, I remembered Fern, and Jean, and all the other women who hadn’t been so lucky.
Maybe I’d never know why I’d been the one thrust into such an amazing and contrasting lane, but there and then, I vowed to make the most of the opportunities Harper had gifted me.
I owed it, not only to him for taking such huge risks for me and giving up everything he’d ever known, but to Fern and the others, for the lives they’d never get to live.
“Do you speak Italian, too?” I ran my thumb over his stubbly chin. Even with the new razor he’d bought, he still wasn’t clean-shaven, and I wasn’t sorry for his choice. Over the days we’d been forced into ‘hiding’, I’d grown to love his impromptu beard.
“Un po’.” Mustering his best Italian accent, he winked at me.
“Which means?”
I shook my head, still unable to fathom how many languages he knew. Wherever he’d gone to school, his education had clearly been better than mine. His vast knowledge base was only another example of something in his life I knew absolutely nothing about.
“A little.” His lips curled.
“Can I ask you a question, Sir?” If I was going to inquire about his past, there was no better moment than the current one.
“Another question?”
He arched one of those delicious eyebrows at me, and I wished I could have said I was immune to its impact, but that would have been a lie. Even after so many weeks of weaponizing the gesture against me, its effect was instantaneous, pooling heat between my legs.
“Please.” My hand slipped to his nape. “I just know so little about who you were before Fortorus. I’m besotted with a man I scarcely even know.”
His brow rose, suggesting he hadn’t been expecting that line of questioning. “What do you want to know, little girl?”
“What did you do, Sir?”
There was so much more I wanted to know, but his former occupation would be a decent start. That would tell me something about his life choices and the man he’d been before the commander general came calling.
“What did I do?” He snorted as though the question was amusing.
“For money,” I prompted. “It must have been impressive. I mean, you have a lot of it, Sir.”
I cringed, hoping I hadn’t overstepped the invisible line between us. I’d sensed that line fading recently, but with the power dynamic between us reasserted by choice, it was possible to tumble into jeopardy without even noticing the stop signs.
“It’s the same old story with me, I’m afraid.
I left university and worked in the city for a while.
That gave me a head for numbers, a lot of money, and even more useful contacts.
” He rolled his eyes. “But I knew Ian from our undergrad days, and I could see which way the tide was turning in the country, so I got more involved in his plans.”
Shifting his weight, his gaze bored into me. “I got involved to protect myself. It’s not something I’m proud of.”
“You did what you had to do.” My fingers trailed a line over his bicep. “I get it. We’ve all had to do that.”
“I was weak.” He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. “I should have stood up to him, should have used the allies I had to bring him to heel, but, somehow, it didn’t happen...”
“No.” My voice sounded tiny as I considered the consequences of his words. “It didn’t.”
“It all happened so fucking quickly.” He frowned.
“Populism was popping up everywhere like dry fucking rot, and the papers were full of headlines about how women and the falling birthrate were the main problems. Before I knew it, views that I’d thought were fringe were suddenly mainstream, and Ian threw huge ad spend into social media, paying the algorithms to just keep indoctrinating people.
Suddenly, he had the majority under his thumb. ”
“I remember.” Blowing out a breath, I stretched back and closed my eyes. Those dark, oppressive days when the walls had been closing in around me were only too easy to recall.
“I didn’t really know what I was unleashing with Ian, but my ignorance is no excuse.” His hand found mine on the covers between us. “I should have done better, little girl. I’m sorry.”
“I know.” I blinked back the tears that threatened to brim when my eyes fluttered open to see him. “I know you are, Sir.”
“At least I can make it up to you.” He rolled in my direction. “I just wish there was something I could do for all the other women, and for our country.”
“Maybe there will be.” I squeezed his fingers gently. “Maybe one day we’ll be able to go back, and you can help rebuild what’s left of Britain, Sir.”
“Maybe.” His smile was weak. “Until then, I guess, I—”
His words were interrupted by loud knocking on the front door downstairs. I tensed at the noise, rising from the sheets as my pulse quickened.
“Who’s that?” Releasing his hand, I dragged the covers over me, my apprehension immediately spiked.
Harper could bring me enormous solace and peace, but I’d noticed it didn’t take much to trigger me again.
Panicking easily, was, I assumed, another side effect of Fortorus. “We haven’t ordered any food, have we?”
“No.” He hid his concerns well as the banging on the door continued, but I saw the tension creeping into his shoulders as he climbed to his feet. The musculature of his back tightened as he turned to face me. “You stay here. I’ll deal with it.”
I watched as he padded from the room, aware that those words had been an order yet unable to shake the ominous feeling ballooning in the pit of my stomach.
It wasn’t only the low-lying anxiety we’d lived with since Hans had taken us across Europe, but something far deeper.
Something that reminded me too much of how it had felt living within the suffocating confines of Fortorus.
I wanted to call out to him, to tell him to stop, but I realized in slow motion that it was too late. Harper had disappeared from my line of sight and was already down the staircase.
Clutching the sheets to my breasts, I held my breath, straining to hear who had splintered our fragile sanctuary.