Chapter 2
Warm shower raining over me, exhilarated in the steam, and fully drunk on the male kissing my mouth, I melted.
Just as he knew I would.
There was power in understanding, in grasping just how much control he could wield. That knowledge was mine—the awareness that he would use everything he could think of to draw me in.
It gave me something to work with, made him—at least in that small matter—predictable.
Temper cooling, my dread faded under a wave of longing. The tricks he could use….
Every touch was a weapon, every sigh a small act of violence against my aversion.
Water vapor sweet with his scent tasted almost as good as my beloved fog. The sounds he could make forced muscles to unknot along my spine. Languid, slow kisses as I was rinsed clean of my sins stirred me. Strong male hands caressed where I was soft as he purred for me… yet the one whose chest rattled the loudest was mine.
I preferred the shower immensely over the bed, loved the way the steam danced atop whatever part of me he wasn’t touching. That I could stand, shift my weight, shove him off if I needed to.
Yet, when he pulled away at last, my mouth followed. Drowsy, I blinked after the male.
How he smiled as he reached for the soap to wash his body with rich lather, watching me measure him and try to remember why I had been angry.
“I think… the space is too enclosed,” I hummed, dragging in a deep breath. “Your scent is heavy in the steam.”
With a devilish chuckle, he said, “It wasn’t intentional, but I’d be lying if I claimed I don’t enjoy when you forget to hate me and realize deep down you want a mate strong enough to steal you away.”
Shaking my head, mesmerized by the way lather ran down his hard body, I disagreed. “When I was in the city with Maeve, I saw couples walking together holding hands. I had never seen a man and woman touch or smile at one another in that way. It was the first time I was even marginally tempted to consider the list. But you didn’t hold my hand. You grabbed me by the throat.”
Rinsed fully, his blond hair was darkened by the water, but his gaze was darker. “Deep down, you would never be satisfied by a pedestrian mate. Not a woman like you. You run the show without anyone the wiser, dance circles around your instructors, steal pretty rocks from dangerous men, and would be bored to tears with the kind of mate who wasn’t willing to rip your precious dress and fuck you on the floor of his office.”
“You have an unfair advantage right now.” It was hard to get angry when I was trying very hard not to sink my claws into him and pull him closer. “Say that again when my head is clear and I can respond properly.”
“See? You have mouthed off to me throughout our entire acquaintance. Do you know how many little girls would dare castigate a general? Only someone worthy of their attention. I don’t want a weak, whimpering thing any more than you desire a male too gutless to rein you in.”
The arrogant man grinned all the more. “Imagine the hellions our children will be.”
No. I would not. Not even that mind-altering scent could get me to agree to such a nightmare. “I’m not giving the academy any children.”
“My love, since you have made it clear you do not want to spend your days in leisure locked safely in this house—” Seduction was set aside for reassurance. He pulled me closer, held me tight, and whispered in my ear. “—you will be assigned a position within the academy. So, you’ll need to come to terms with what the future holds.”
The very idea seemed like an unwelcome knife to the gut. “You wouldn’t do that to me. I hate it there!”
Massaging my back as he nuzzled my cheek, he reminded, “You hate me too. Perhaps, in time, you can learn to love both.”
How was I possibly to escape such a fate? First, he had taken the fog from me. Now this? Why couldn’t I apply for positions that suited my ambition?
“I know that look.” Subtly threatening, he traced the bone of my cheek and measured what he found in my gaze. “We will discuss your future at another time, when your head is clear and your education complete.”
“I won’t waste my time as another decoration in your pretty office. That isn’t what I want.” And I would make him pay for it if he dared.
“Would you rather be locked in the house?” Not an ounce of his question was playful.
Incredulous, I fought the drowsy pull to press against him, growling, “Are you really threatening me with this?”
“You will be appointed as the new weapons instructor for the youngest recruits.” With an expression of command I knew all too well, he added with a stern tongue, “There will be no access to the elder girls. So, don’t go getting ideas in your head that you can confuse them.”
Because of course I would! I would warn them to flee while they could, to avoid males at all costs, tell them every last thing I had experienced regarding sex and male trickery. But deeper still, I was wounded a man who claimed to love me could be so cruel. “You would keep me away from my friends?”
“For their own good? Yes.” Intentional additional sweetness thickened in the air, the man clearly manipulating my mind while saying things that would otherwise move me to violence. “Until they are mated, it seems unwise to mix you with the general unmated-female population. You would cause a panic, as you still do not have clarity on what you’re living through in this transition. You’re still scared, still belligerent, and we have much to sort out between us. Any advice you might give now would come from a place of a difficult adjustment to your involuntary position at my side, not natural female submission.”
He had gone too far with the scent, my eyes and limbs so heavy I wanted to curl up in his arms and let him carry my weight.
Yet I fought that temptation as hard as I might.
“Don’t make me sleep.” Because with that sweetness, that sound vibrating from his chest, and the soothing warmth engulfing me, he could do as he pleased.
He could do anything to me.
Pulling away to look me in the eye, Cyderial showed me a face of innocence. “You were right; it’s too close in here for either of us to keep a clear head.” He reached for one of the bottles lining the shelf. “Allow me to wash your hair, and you have my word I will not make you sleep. We can talk over these complicated subjects later.”
I didn’t trust the imperious jerk one bit, but I was in no position to fight back. “Fine.”
That softened the man immediately, Cyderial only too happy to demonstrate all the treasures he procured to spoil me—shampoos with pretty perfumes, conditioners to soften and add shine, tonics for the skin, soaps I might sample in my half-dazed euphoria.
Never could I have imagined how nice it might feel to have such strong hands wash my hair. Or considered leaning into someone’s strength so they could weigh my breasts and tease between my legs. Yet it was easy when Cyderial was up to no good.
With nothing more than a few simple strokes between my legs, he brought me to a single, fluttering climax. Rocking to my toes from the unexpected burst, I rode his fingers, struggling with real irritation that it was his hand that brought me into mania and not the wriggling member straining against my lower back.
After all, all the sweet perfume was a promise for pleasure that my body understood better than my mind. The newly awakened animal part of me craved it with such intensity I was near ready to pierce my claws into his flank and drag him where I wished. To take all I desired.
One final caress up my seam was all he gave me before pulling away.
Bemused, I turned, wondering why he was not advancing upon me as he had before. After all, he scented the air and sang for me, agitated me with anticipation for more. Yet, I had been abandoned, left to stand there and watch while he gripped his cock, looking me over as he savored one slow stroke from base to tip.
That freakish thing was waving in his grip, beckoning me to make demands.
But I found I could not move, captivated by the show of his hands on his body.
He took great pleasure in my attention, leaving my bones practically vibrating for what was soon to be mine.
Inside, I buzzed with want, even if I despised the owner of that organ. Clearheaded enough to consider, I knew through and through that the addiction could not be doubted. I wanted everything this man could put inside me in a way that left me salivating.
Desire plain on my face, I wondered what he might taste like.
I licked my lips, the jerking movements of his two fists on that wriggling monster growing violent.
The noises he made were obscene. I should have been horrified, disgusted, but I was stuck in that steamy shower simply because it smelled too good to leave.
And because I craved.
A low whine left my throat, my body tingling in places that rampaging organ should’ve been.
“No, Lorieyn. No knot unless you beg for one.” Debauched grin in place, he purred, “Not unless heat requires that I serve you.”
Beg? He was going to leave me that way unless I begged?
I was wrong; my head was not clear. I had to remind myself that’s why fluid flooded between my legs. This was no heat; this was nothing more than simple addiction and male tricks.
I may have wanted it, but I didn’t need it.
But craving set in, his movements so beautiful I breathed in time with his strokes.
The show went on, his audience rapt.
On a disturbing level, I sucked my lower lip into my mouth, praying he would shove me against the wall and force that writhing muscle deep into my guts. That he would make me endure him, force me past resistance with mind-blowing pleasure.
But he was taking all the pleasure for himself, wringing his cock while working it with the aptitude of obvious practice.
And then my fantasy was shattered.
His first full eruption bubbled free, only to be followed by a great burst.
Down the drain, the antidote to my new compulsion went. Seeing it wasted, I wanted to cry, shout that it was mine. Wanted to fall to my knees and scoop it up, put it inside me, and hold it in.
Roaring his climax, he spurted again and again, calculated in his observation of my reaction.
Part of me loved watching him this way, the veins in his neck straining, cruel lips parted, Cyderial panting in his solitary pleasure.
But mostly, I was restless, caged. And he loved it.
He loved that I was twitching and tense, loved that no amount of sweet-scented air might change my growing sense of outrage.
Flexing his power over me—how he made my body crave—was underhanded. Cruel dominance was established. Now, I knew. If I wanted him to pleasure me, I had to ask… or wait for heat. Until one of those two situations was present, he would not give.
I would have to admit I had needs, even if they were needs I had not asked for.
When the final spurt of white cream came, he caught it up with that demonic, long tongue, pulling it into his mouth.
It was clear he meant to kiss me, stalking forward with a mouthful of what should have been mine. I was already snarling outrage when he dipped that coated tongue deep into my mouth and rolled his taste anywhere he might reach.
Every bit of my brain screamed that I should have been disgusted, gagging or biting him in response to such an affront.
But I was moaning against him, chasing his tongue for more.
Why had I not fallen to my knees and sucked him dry when I had the chance?
How long would I have to wait to get what I needed?
Rubbing against him like a feral cat, slick ran hot down my thigh, but there was nothing to sate me.
This wasn’t heat; it was something else.
Something I could put an end to if I might just get myself under control.
“That was so mean!” I whined when he pulled his tongue from my mouth.
Smug, he licked his lips, backing away from where I had once again become one with the wall. “Now, imagine how I felt every time I heard your song over the last ten years and could not have you.”
He sounded so relaxed, the exact opposite of my shrill complaint. “Was this some kind of punishment, because I don’t want to be with you at the academy?”
“No.” Smug was not a strong enough word. Cyderial was in a state of full-blown arrogance. “You could have had me for the asking. You chose to pretend you do not desire your mate. From now on, if you find yourself eager for my cock, you ask for it. And if you do, I will fuck you until you see stars.”
* * *
After the frustrating shower,my day took an unexpected turn.
While blotting me dry with soft towels, he told me he had a surprise. “To show you that I do not intend to repeat the mistakes of my predecessors, we”re going to get dressed, and I’m taking you to visit your mother.”
Shrieking with unexpected joy, I smiled until my cheeks hurt. “But you don’t like humans!”
“I will tolerate her for your sake.” Thoroughly pleased with himself, Cyderial ordered me to be still so he might finish removing all remaining water droplets. And then he gave me a wonderful gift.
Female clothing.
A very pretty dress. Soft pink, with gossamer layers that floated down to my knees. Cut to my exact measurements, so nothing pinched.
And as it was designed for a woman, there was no need to bind my breasts.
Instead, the garment enhanced my feminine form, made me feel utterly female. Yet it was modest and comfortable.
And I could not stop smiling, the little tug at the corners of my lips refusing to fade even with my bashfulness that he could see how strongly such an offering affected me.
This gave him more power over me, but it could not be helped.
I loved female things!
So much so that I submitted to him dressing me himself.
And found such fabric was heaven on my skin.
Stiff, scratchy, and hideous academy uniforms were a form of torture no girl should ever have to bear. Even the beloved garment I had sewn by hand was nothing to that soft pink material floating around me.
“You look stunning.”
I looked like a half-drowned rat with wet hair, but at least I was a very beautifully dressed half-drowned rat.
Grabbing my damp strands, I began to squeeze the water out before they left a mark on the outfit, only for him to stop me, directing my attention to a machine. A magical device that instantly dried my long hair so it could softly hang down my back.
Another simple pleasure females in the dormitories were denied. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to tend to our hair at the academy? Why refuse us such a simple kindness?”
“It is complicated and has much to do with human perception of what we are doing there. Drawing government attention by placing large requisitions for luxury products would ultimately cause the girls harm. And, as you know, females are permitted to cut their hair short like the males.”
“But we don’t want to be like men!”
“Nor do we, your males, want you to be anything other than what you are. But most importantly, we want you to be safe.” Eyes earnest, he took the machine from my grip and set it aside. “Once mated, depending on the male’s ability to provide, it all changes. I can give you anything you want.”
His boast was not missed, as I groused, “Or, you deny us these things so we might marvel and swoon when we’re finally treated with respect. I’m not stupid, Cyderial. You wield an advantage, seducing with dresses and magic machines.”
“But you are still smiling, even if you know I’m doing everything in my power to win you. You can’t help yourself,” he teased, utterly charmed by my irritation.
Yes, I could have two feelings at once. I was a higher lifeform, for goodness’ sake.
“I have more prepared for you, my love.” The male waved his hand over a touchpad, and the bathroom counters unfolded to display drawers filled with ornaments for my hair and a variety of cosmetics. “If these are not to your liking, others can be procured.”
Blinking at the collection, not having a clue what most of the cosmetics would be used for, I could not resist fingering such treasures… even as I narrowed my eyes at the man.
But perhaps I had some deeply rooted personal flaw, because I could not keep my attention on him. Not with so many new things to experience.
Oh, how I wanted to play!
But the male continued standing there, leaning against the doorframe, watching me intently. The hovering was unwelcome, so I cut him a glare. “The way you are staring is making me uncomfortable. I want privacy.”
To squeal and hoard and touch everything.
Arms over his chest, staring in that hungry way of his, he refused me. “No.”
He looked stately, even indolently leaning against the wall so he might watch.
Meanwhile, I was trying not to appear gleeful that there were six shades of lipstick to choose from.
While I chose a soft, neutral pink, he offered a low, “I would prefer if only I got to see your hair loose.”
Leaning toward the mirror, lipstick at my cupid’s bow, I asked, “Why?”
“It’s mine.”
No, it was actually mine. He may have offered to let me outside, but that too should have been a natural right. Bargaining with him in this way was not going to be good for me later. Not after I lost so much footing in my exuberance for his gifts. “I’ll be keeping it down.”
Grumbling from the corner, he gave me a not-so-subtle warning. “Are you sure that’s the choice you want to make?”
Glaring, I smacked my freshly painted lips. “Yes. I don’t have any pictures to mimic, and I don’t know how to use any of these tools. And before you make a terrible suggestion, I am not wearing a regulation bun the first time I get to go out in real clothes. I’m not an academy recruit anymore; I’m a mate. That’s what you wanted. Deal with it.”
“Fine.” But that irritated huff came with a clear suggestion that I would pay for it later.
Smoothing my hair one last time, I pinched my cheeks to make them brighter and smiled at myself in the mirror.
The pink, flowy dress was demure, covering everything, but it was so feminine I loved it in a way I could never have loved my precious black dress. It was a shame I had no polish for my talons, which remained unfiled since Cyderial stole me. They had grown wickedly long, deadly sharp. Flaring my fingers, I found I didn’t want to dull them, even if they were only dark-gray and not glittering ivory like fair Maeve’s.
No one was going to measure my talons now. There would be no citations for lipstick, nor dresses, nor wearing my glorious hair down.
“No more playing, kitten.” He pushed off the wall to steal me away from my new treasures and deliver me to my mother. “It’s time to take you out into the world.”