Chapter 20
Iawoke ravenous to a man who had already prepared food for me. While I slept, he cooked, tidied the space of his small apartment, and somehow changed the bedding of my nest.
Shy as I ate his delicious food, sore yet satiated, enjoying warm silence in his attentive presence. Happy to let him fuss over my healing marks.
To enjoy the way he bathed each negligible wound, with a gentle touch and scented, steaming water.
Until he got to the aching bite mark on my shoulder—a place he repeatedly ravaged over the course of his rut.
That, I did not enjoy in the slightest.
“Stop wriggling.” The man found my instant temper cute, chuckling as he did as he pleased despite my obvious unspoken protest.
Unsure what impulse drove me, I covered the wound with my hand and found a warning thrum escape me before I might even reason why. “Leave it alone. I like it the way it is!”
The discomfort of the unkempt wound was welcome. Should I let him have his way, his medicines would ruin what belonged where it was.
I wanted a mark to remain, to be able to trace my fingers over the scar and have it as mine.
It was mine.
My fingertips already memorized each indentation, tracing with pure delight over the shape his teeth left in me.
“You want my mark to remain on you?” As if understanding dawned, his brows drew up, and his lips curled into a deviously pleased smirk. “Should you do this, it will be a sensation when the others see it.”
Just as my daughter was in my womb, that savage mark should stay on my shoulder. It was my right to have it. I earned it.
The irrationality of my need to keep so ugly a thing made me wonder if estrous had not truly ended. Or, was this drive purely related to pregnancy?
Or was I overly sentimental, wanting to preserve the memory of our ultimate joining right there on my skin—a testament to the unfolding of my life?
“It will be covered by clothing. Who would see it?” While I thought over the motivation, the strangeness of what I was demanding, a thrilled male began pressing kisses along my jaw.
Everyone will see it, the look in his eyes claimed when he pulled back, fully smug. New dresses would be made that left my shoulder on display—of that, I had no doubt.
I would be walking around with my belly full of a growing child and my skin scarred by the man who helped prepare my womb.
The father of my baby.
Through a city that was unsafe.
My answering, pleased hum to have my way dried up with that one, terrible thought.
A chilling reminder that these peaceful moments hidden in his rooms couldn’t last.
My playfulness gone, my blood cooled to ice, and I went stiff in his arms.
Noting my sudden apprehension, Cyderial demanded an explanation. “What’s wrong?”
Frightened, my hand went to my belly, to the exact place where I knew she nestled in to grow. Already, I loved her more than I could say and judged myself a villain for bringing her into the world as it was.
For knowing what would happen to her.
Paralyzed with guilt, the show of emotions on my face ran from terror to tragedy. “She is safe right now, growing under my hearts. But once she’s born, my baby will be vulnerable.” Trying to find the words, all I could manage was, “The world doesn’t deserve her… and it makes me sad.”
My mate had taken such good care of me, even if he was highhanded and a very real bully, but this was not something he could soothe.
Cyderial, the most feared and powerful hybrid male in the city, could not snap his fingers and fix this.
Yet the look on his face said otherwise. Determined, he laid me back on fresh bedding, pulling fluffy covers up under my chin. “Recover, rest. Let me handle the world.”
“Okay.” What else was I supposed to say? What could I possibly do, when I was suddenly so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open?
Cyderial pulled the blankets higher, tucking me in, moving pillows here or there so I might know ultimate comfort. And then he sat at my side, stroking my hair while I blinked tired eyes up at the father of my child.
He worked his magic over me, stealing away my worries while humming some sort of lullaby. A lulling drum that made me yawn.
Until I realized the air was laced with male tricks, sweetness saturating my tongue so I could not resist.
Cyderial was drugging me.
Fighting his unfair influence, I knew a sense of betrayal that he would think to manipulate when I already submitted.
What had I done to deserve it?
His answer was immediate when I tried and failed to push him away. “You’ve done nothing wrong, my love. But you need rest, so sleep.” He pressed a kiss to my head. “Dream of our baby, and leave your worries to me.”
Dazed, one breath away from oblivion, I watched him stand and pull on a fresh uniform. “Where are you going?”
He smiled at me, yet his order was undeniably forceful, every trick in his power coming to life, as he demanded, “Sleep now.”
His command landed, my eyes closing no matter any sorry resistance. And sleep did come, hard, deep, and dreamless.
* * *
Stiff, I woke groggy and nauseous to pitch-black.
With nothing to orient myself, cocooned and a little dizzy, it took me far too long to realize the ground shook—that I had been pulled out of sleep by a growing rumble vibrating through the floor.
Unsettling noise registered.
Long, groaning, reverberant booms traveled through solid matter. Earthquakes.
I’d only ever read of earthquakes. Never before had I felt one.
Calling out to the dark, I reached for my mate. “Cyderial?”
“You are safe here.” Light flashed on near the door, low and gloomy, to illuminate General Murdoch. Dressed for battle, armed with extremely dangerous weapons.
The fact that he was anywhere near where I lay vulnerable and pregnant with the daughter he craved made it clear I was anything but safe.
Calculating my odds of making it out the door before he might strike, I showed him my teeth. “Where is Cyderial?”
Maintaining his distance, Murdoch sat back in his commandeered seat, relaxed as he gave me a devil-may-care grin. “Leading the charge in the North Quadrant. Your mate ordered me to assure you that he will return before heat might set in. I am to watch over you”—his eyes darted down to my abdomen hidden in blankets—“and her in the meantime.”
That was an inadequate answer!
“Charge against what?” Eyes narrowed, I dipped a toe out of the bed, then another, until I stood free of tangling blankets, at best advantage to defend myself from an assault. Naked, swollen belly and scarring shoulder, wild tangles of dark hair streaming free around me, I demanded, “What the hell is going on?”
He looked upon me with something far removed from lust. An examination that was almost clinical, while also drinking in every last bit of flesh as if memorizing the whole of me.
But it was my torso that drew his lingering gaze. As if he could already see her, the speck that she was, growing in my womb.
When at long last his eyes traveled up from my belly to meet my furious gaze, he lost his grin and let me see how dark he really was on the inside. “I swore myself to your mate. Lower your hackles and put away your claws. What you carry inside you is more precious to me than you can imagine.”
“She belongs to me!” I shouted, distrustful down to my bones.
His menacing grin returned. “Only until she is twenty-two. That is the pledge you made. The rest of her life, she will be mine.”
“Get. Out.”
The ground shook, really shook, and I almost lost my footing.
But I was caught—by a male who moved so quickly I had not even seen a blur. A man who dared put a hand to my belly once I had been braced. A man I struck with every bit of strength I could muster.
Stumbling back, General Murdoch only then seemed to realize what he had done. How far he had pushed me. And how near he was to being gutted when my talons continued the assault, slashing where he was weakest.
My wrist was caught, then the other, Murdoch growling lowly, “You need me alive, Lorieyn. I am valuable to you. I will protect you while we are at war.”
None of this made sense. Where was my mate? “Let go!”
Taking a wise step away from where I panted and plotted his death, Murdoch set me free and put his hands before him in supplication. “Key filtration towers were sabotaged in the night; fog is pouring into the city—forcing the panicking humans into a bottleneck at strategic locations we can control. The gates were opened, and vorec have been allowed to roam the streets.”
It was unspeakable, my face going pale. “Millions will die.”
“But not all of them.” The agitating, smug male took another step back, gesturing to the cabinets where clothing was stored. “We will spare many to assure a city of this size will not fail. Farmers, workers?—”
“Slaves?” The humans would become the hybrids’ slaves, and I was struggling to wrap my head around why.
But the why was within me, wasn’t it? Right there, a little blob of cells I had been afraid for.
And my mate had seen it.
And he had acted… immediately… to protect us both.
My beastly mate was gathering heads to put on a plate… to lay at my feet.
Dropping my face to my hands, I let out a sigh, trying to make sense of how things could have escalated so quickly.
Seeing I would make no move to cover myself, Murdoch did so for me, draping something over my shoulders as I tried and failed to properly process the rest he had to share. “In the North Quadrant, your mate is assuring that key government officials do not survive to see the dawn—fog or no. By midday, the broadcasts will be sharing the hybrid narrative, directing survivors to safe locations so we might sort through them.”
What was I to say to genocide? How was I to face a dark, unsettling fact that I felt some relief to find a bad world was being unmade?
Another boom shook the building, the male urging me forward so he might seat me in a chair in case I lost my footing again. “Navigation was disrupted. Hovercars are crashing into buildings and one another; visibility is almost zero in the fog. There are fires, and shortly, there will be famine. The water supply is no longer safe for human consumption, though it is safe for those of us who are of this world.”
Swallowing, I glanced through my fingers at the man standing tall over me. “This was not a quickly planned coup.”
“No.” He nodded, unapologetic as his eyes traveled, again, to my belly. “We have been strategizing for centuries, but the urgency to enact our plan intensified the instant you went into estrous. You encouraged a large portion of our female population to give us what we have been begging for.”
Pure-born hybrid daughters—a real chance for our species” survival.
And should the hybrids’ revolution end in success, no human overlord would ever lay a hand on our precious babies again.
The price? The annihilation or enslavement of the human species from which we were made.
The male continued, “With this alteration in female cooperation and an expectation of vulnerable offspring, leadership decided collectively… to choose a king. Every general agreed. Cyderial is giving you and my future mate a new world. He is keeping his word to us all in this very moment by savaging the humans’ city.”
A tear slipped over my cheek, a show of weakness in front of a male who would exploit every advantage he might find. Still, I met his eyes, my voice steel. “Of the three of you, I like you least.”
He gave me a smirk, leaning his bulk on the counter at his back. “Boreal is as interesting as a bag of rocks, and Aegir is so old his mind is warped by all he’s survived to make it this far. I will be the one she chooses. I do not doubt it in any way.”
I had always liked rocks, and Aegir’s beauty would be something to contend with. But Murdoch was a problematic character—one who would be far more underhanded than even Cyderial.
The ground trembled again, a small object falling from a nearby shelf.
“That is more than a hovercar hitting the side of a building.” That was artillery.
Unconcerned, he crossed his arms over his chest and settled back. “There is some resistance. A group of extremists have been stockpiling for a siege. They are firing their rockets blind into the fog, shooting their guns, and killing one another while they breathe poison and gnash their teeth. In a few days, it will be over. When the last bullet is spent, we will collect those humans willing to kneel to their new king and queen.”
I was going to be sick. “Don’t.”
Cutting me a sardonic glance, Murdoch smirked as he always did. “He knew you would be shocked, angry even. Take this time to cool your thoughts so you can support a mate who is risking his life so your daughter will be born free.”
My stomach roiled. One dry heave and the man grabbed a container off the counter, holding it under my head right in time. It wasn’t much, but the vomit burned like fire coming up.
As if my shame was being released into that bucket.
My terror at the thought of losing Cyderial.
Until I was panting, empty, and limp enough for a stranger to maneuver. Murdoch took away the bucket, wetting a towel in the sink and rushing back to press it to my face—fawning over me almost as ridiculously as Cyderial would.
As he smoothed back my hair and blotted away the sweat, all I felt was rage at my mate for making such a choice without discussing it with me. I grieved for the innocents—human and hybrid—who were dying while I was safe near my nest. But mostly, I knew relief for my child.
Cyderial would triumph. There was no question of it.
Our daughter would not have to suffer in an academy where humans created a curriculum that meant little fingers would be broken, little spirits distorted, and sacrifice demanded. She would be safe.
I knew she would, because Cyderial promised me.
But what of the other children? The ones who had already been tortured? Were they safe? Did they have a Murdock fawning over them and explaining why their world had fallen into chaos and the ground shook?
Doubtful. There was no rapport between recruits and teachers, no trust the little ones had for adults. The children would not ask questions for fear of punishment. The adults would most likely not offer information.
Yet, on many levels, I was still one of them, even if Cyderial forced me into an instructor’s uniform.
Catching my breath, stomach settling into a churning ache I could manage, I let him know I was not so small as he might think. “I am to be your queen, hmm?”
“You will adjust to the role.” Suspicion led him to narrow his eyes.
Oh, I would wield it, brandish it like a weapon to cheat on every possible test. And I would do so, because now that I had been made queen, I would never, ever be allowed to step into the fog. Cyderial attained his dearest wish. Every last hybrid in the city would prevent my freedom at all costs.
I had a duty now. One that would come with great demands.
But my daughter would be born free.
She would be safe.
Miranda’s daughter would be free.
Every last hybrid female who followed me into estrous would give birth in a new world.
Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I sucked a deep breath in through my nose, slowly releasing it as I gathered my thoughts.
What was a queen to a male-dominated society? What would these men think I might do to them? For them? Against them?
I had already, thanks to Miranda, influenced many females to submit to my demands. Would the males do so as well?
Enunciating every word to let Murdoch know I meant business, I said, “Then, as your queen, I order you to take me to the academy children. It is them you are fighting for, and they must be frightened. I will be their mother now. And you? You will keep them safe.”
Offering a single negative head shake, he said, “You are safest here. Eat. Drink. Rest.”
“I don’t think you understand what I am saying, General Murdoch. I outrank you now, and I am ordering you to obey me. Take me to my children, or you will see just what Cyderial has been up against all these years.”
“Every recruit was evacuated to the lower levels. This building was crafted from the very ships that brought the humans to this planet. It is solid, safe, full of functioning filtration systems that could keep every hybrid alive for generations. We are currently in the safest possible location in the city. Artillery cannot breach this building. You do not need to fear for them.”
“Then it should not matter what room I inhabit. I will be just as safe with the little ones, as I would be in this space.”
“You should not leave your nest.”
“You can’t compel me to stay in it. Or to eat. Or to drink. You are not my mate; you cannot chemically manipulate or seduce me. Ask your new king how well force works when it comes to my will… and he will laugh in your face. He will also be furious to find me starved and weak upon his return.” Mirroring his wicked smile, more than happy to make an enemy of this man, I purred, “Obey me, and I will submit to your mandates. I will eat. I will drink. I will rest. But, only with my children.”
Voice full of poison and threat, Murdoch stood from where he leaned, towering over me. “You will make a fine queen. Pass that fire to my mate.”
“If you wish to get along with me while we wait through this, do not speak of her to me. I’m unwilling to share.” Nor did I particularly enjoy having this male anywhere near me.
Nostrils flaring, he glanced around the room as if looking for anything that might change my mind. Whatever thoughts he’d been cooking up failed him, the man left to yield to my order. “Use the facilities, dress. I will escort you there only after you have eaten the food Cyderial prepared.”
“We leave in five minutes.” I gave the male a look warning him not to disappoint me. That he’d only be able to trick me in such a way once. Oozed threat that I was far more than he could handle.
“You will follow me closely and obey every command I give?”
“I will.”
Quickly, I saw to my body’s needs, dressing in one of Cyderial’s uniform shirts found tucked away in his storage compartment. It went to my knees and offered modesty enough once buttoned.
“You understand what Cyderial will do to me for this?” Murdoch added, glaring.
“You’ll live. And I will remember you were a friend and thoughtful of the children. That will be worth whatever violence he might enact.” Just so we were on the same page, I offered a soft reminder. “I will have more influence over my daughter’s choice than you are currently giving me credit for. Would you rather her hear of kind General Murdoch, who helped me comfort little ones, or the evil bastard who thought to hogtie and force-feed me?”
From the growing glow in his eyes, he realized my favor would go far when it was my daughter he ultimately craved. “Come.”
The door was unlocked. Arms full of blankets I had taken from my nest, I trailed closely behind the highly trained soldier. Swiftly, we moved through the shuddering halls until we came to one large underground gathering space full of the youngest recruits. Their little bodies huddled together, wide-eyed and frightened.
Tending to them were the older female recruits, yet no boy over ten was to be seen.
Frowning, counting at least a hundred heads were missing, I asked, “Where are the rest of them?”
“In the field, guarding the academy from human assault. We cannot spare the watchers, and to mix genders without heavy supervision would end in disaster. The academy is in lockdown, and the older males will remain outside.”
“That is barbaric! They’re barely more than children!” I snarled.
“Hybrid males are dangerous!” Tacking on an insult, Murdoch spoke so that only I would hear, “You should know that by now, my queen.”
Bristling at his nerve, I ground my teeth. “Fine.”
I knew every last face in that room, found all their little eyes had discovered me, round as I was. Yet it was the older girls, the missing faces, that set my hearts to double their rhythm. “Where is Maeve? Where are the others?”
“Do not expect me to explain things you already know the answer to.” Adjusting the weight of his weapon, Murdoch scowled. “You were in estrous for a week. Graduation took place.”
So… my sisters were gone. Taken by God only knew who.
“Are they safe?” Could the males have prepared for them? Was Maeve okay after Thayer…?
Murdoch waved it off. “They are in the care of their mates.”
On a sigh, I said, “Maeve would want to be here.”
“Thayer is not Cyderial. Do not anticipate that you will be granted access to her anytime soon. He will submit her and may not allow her freedom until she too is pregnant. That, you must take some responsibility for. Your public chemical switch sent half our population into the rut. Your pheromones snowballed out of the courtyard very quickly.”
No. Females chose to enter estrous.
Right?
But his words frightened me. Nothing so far had been straightforward since I learned of the world outside the academy. “A man cannot make a woman enter estrous.”
“A mated male can rut her as if she is. Encourage estrous, one might say.” Said as if it were nothing, as if it were obvious. “Mated males were driven into season that night, which implies estrous can be coerced as well.”
That is not what I had been told!
Cyderial had been very rough with me in the rut, but I had wanted it, needed it. Maeve would be crushed under Thayer if he rode her unrestrained.
“Oh my God….”
General Murdoch cut me a glance. “Most males who were denied estrous from their partners were motivated to procreate and have resorted to reestablishing the captivity of their mates. Considering we went to war days later, it would seem a wise choice. Our females are safe this way.”
“That’s monstrous.” And not at all what I had intended.
What had been a cutting glance became a scandalous glare. “Holding our unborn children hostage, have you not thought that might be unjust? Do you not think we deserve to be fathers? Do you not think we deserve to know a full life?”
“Not like that.” Swallowing down bile, I shook off the horror.
As if he realized he had driven me to illness, the male softened considerably. “Small as you are, you are quite fierce. A new generation will be born thanks to you. If anything, many will look to you as a hero for ordering the women to give new life to a struggling species. And as it had been an order, and as you are their queen, those females who denied your will are at fault and deserve what their mates might do to them.”
Mortified at the thought, my face fell. “It wasn’t an order.”
With a dark laugh, he crossed his arms over his chest. “I was standing there as you made your proclamation. The females obeyed, because you gave them good reason to submit to your will. To wield your power, that is what it is to be a leader. There will be a new world order, and our genders may not see eye to eye, but you and Cyderial... you are to set the example. You are to make the women listen.”
I hated the sound of all he said. “And Cyderial, what is he to do?”
It was said as if I were simple. “Worship you. Tear down cities for you. Offer you an entire planet to rule at his side. At his side, female. Remember that. You will serve all, be mother to all, if that is your wish. But you must tolerate the crown in return.”
How foolish I had been to think I would wield power over these men, that I could handle any of that. “I’m a twenty-two-year-old academy failure. You are asking too much of me.”
“We are not human.” That foxlike smirk settled into place. “Our place in the hierarchy is relegated at birth—no different than the vorec. The strongest of us may have scrapped amongst ourselves for rank, but all was decided in the arena decades before you were born. Your mate is unbeatable, and the fact that you have that kind of monster wrapped around your tiny little finger is almost funny.” But this was spoken with a deep sense of envy, Murdoch unashamed to let me know how badly he craved a female of his own to spoil.