CHAPTER TWO #2
“Hey, hon.” The concern in her tone is obvious, but I don’t turn around, not now. “Is something up with you and Jamie?” Saying nothing, she figures it out, sighs, and approaches me. She embraces me from behind, and I scrunch my face, holding in my tears.
Nothing like a Mom hug.
“I’m sorry, honey.” I nod, turning around squeezing her, when a small chuckle leaves me.
“Well, we can always let Josh go by himself.” She gives me a look, making me put up my hands in mock surrender.
“I know you and Josh aren’t best friends, but he’s a good guy, honey. You’ll warm up to him,” she confidently states, and I nod at that. “Everything’s gonna be okay. You’ll see. It might be hard at first, but it’ll get better.”
I smile at her, feeling the pessimistic statements rising, but push them down for her benefit.
“Kate, I need you.”
Smiling nervously, she retreats, practically running to him. She closes the door behind her, and I glance around once again, seeing the memories pop out from my walls. I can almost see the little ghosts of my younger self living her life in this room.
I never thought that I would fall in love with Philly, but I did. This city gave me one of my best friends after I’d lost another. Throwing myself on the bed, my mind drifts back to the moving announcement the other day, it circling my head nonstop. My mind runs through every scenario.
Seeing him.
Not seeing him.
What’ll happen if I see him?
If I don’t, will I be happy about it?
Should I be happy about the move?
So many questions, and I’ve yet to come up with any answers. On top of that, Jamie and I are in such a weird place right now, and I’m on the verge of losing yet another friend all because of moving away.
In the event of a graduation dinner, Josh, unknowingly, has managed to ruin the little life that I’ve tried so hard to construct. I finally started to consider Philly my home. The memory of Liam still stings, but I had come to terms with it, and now I have to get reaccustomed all over again.
Los Angeles is a huge city. I mean, the chances of seeing Liam are one in four million. Knowing Josh, he’ll probably get the best house in the city, a place that’s about showing how much you have and not about building a home like Liam’s parents did.
Yeah, seeing him is unlikely.
Getting up with that thought, I look down at the box and see a familiar photo peeking out from the top. I sniffle slightly and slide down to the floor, gently grabbing it. Running my fingers over Jamie’s and my goofy smiles, it causes me to blossom one of my own.
Putting it back, I start to pack up more things I’ve collected. Ever since we met in the fifth grade, it’s been us against the world, but now that I’m leaving, it’s just me. And even though I wish she could come with me, she has UPenn, and I won’t take that from her.
Sighing, I put all the pictures in the box and move on to my closet. Outfit after outfit, I fold them up nicely, leaving some for the rest of my time here. And as I’m going through, something big and fluffy and partly dusty falls from the back shelf.
Picking it up, I’m met with Senora Bearington.
The second most important plush I own. I can almost conjure the memory of when Liam handed her to me on Christmas when I was eight and revealed that he had gotten the male version to match.
I hug her to my chest, and after a minute, I trace the stitching.
You’ll always be my forever, Freckles.
Taking a deep breath, I put her in the box and seal it tight, placing it in the corner of my room. Glancing around, a wave of nostalgia hits me as a flashback. Ten-year-old me, coming here after a long flight, and my grandma showing me the room she prepared.
She said it was Dad’s and that she would love it if I made it mine, so I did. And even though it was a rough eight years, it had its moments. After a couple of hours of packing and reminiscing, a knock makes me blink back into reality, my room feeling much colder than it did before.
“Hey, Bianca,” Mom says.
She’s wearing her favorite sundress. It comes down to her lower legs, the yellow color positively glowing on her skin. I raise an eyebrow in confusion as she was just wearing her lounging-around clothes.
“Your favorite dress? What’s the occasion?” I ask, and she smiles.
“Josh set an appointment with a Los Angeles realtor already,” she whispers. “We’re flying out today, leaving in an hour or so.” She claps her hands together, stars in her eyes.
I rush to my feet, rubbing my hands on my shorts. “Oh, okay. Give me a couple minutes, and I’ll get ready—”
“Actually, Bianca, if you wouldn’t mind, it’s just gonna be Kate and me.” Josh walks in suddenly as if summoned, smiling slightly, and I flinch at the statement.
Mom wrings her hands, then glances up at him. “Josh, it’ll be good if she goes with us. I mean, it’ll be her house too.”
“Kate, we talked about this. You and I are all that’s needed. Besides, Bianca looks like she has her hands full with packing.” He and Mom take a glance around, a sheepish feeling passing over me.
She takes a deep breath. “Well, I guess so.”
He wraps an arm around her waist. “I know exactly what I’m talking about.
You don’t doubt me, right?” He says it sweetly and looks at her with adoration, but there’s something else there.
There’s always been something weird with Josh, something that makes me uneasy.
I look at Mom, and she glances between me and him, then sighs defeatedly.
“No, of course not.” She looks at me again, conflicted, and I make it easier on her.
“Yeah, I didn’t wanna go anyway,” I mutter, and Josh adjusts his suit jacket while looking at himself in the mirror. I slide a glance Mom’s way, her eyes refusing to meet mine.
“Great. Kate, let’s go. You need to get ready,” he says.
Mom looks down at her outfit for a moment, then back up at him. “I am ready, though.”
“And you look stunning as always, but I just thought you’d want to, I don’t know, dress up a little more so we can make a good impression with this realtor.
She’s the best in Los Angeles and we don’t want her thinking we don’t have business to give her, right?
” He tilts his head to one side and gives her a wide smile as he focuses his eyes on her face.
“Yeah, no, you’re right. I’ll change.” Without a word, he grabs her hand while she follows him, nodding along.
Shaking my head, I look at the mess that was once my room, and a wave of exhaustion comes over me as I think about the cleaning up I have left.
After another thirty minutes of taking down my wall decorations and trying to make them fit in a medium box, I give up, and instead, head downstairs for some food.
When I reach the bottom of the stairs, Mom is hugging Jamie, and I rush toward them, my eyes widening in shock.
“What’re you doing here?” I ask, and Mom looks between us.
I give her a sad smile as I take in her new outfit.
One that isn’t her at all, but has Josh written all over it.
The pretty sundress has been traded for a shorter, tighter version, her flats now a stiletto heel.
She excuses herself, giving Jamie and me some alone time.
We look at each other, and a small sound of relief escapes me as I crash into her. Almost instantly, her arms wrap around me, causing something to make a small thudding sound on the ground.
“I’m sorry, B. Me running away like that after everything you and I have been through wasn’t cool,” she mumbles before backing away.
I stay silent as she runs her hands through her hair, almost if the movement helps her sift through her thoughts.
“I was overwhelmed, and then I shut down, which isn’t an excuse.
I’m . . .” She doesn’t continue, and her eyes become glassy as she glances at me. “I’m just gonna miss you . . . a lot.”
She wipes at her eyes, and I mumble a soft “ditto.” She chuckles sadly, and I give her a little smile while looking down at the small box on the floor. “Jamie . . . You kept this?” I pick up the very first charm bracelet I made back in the fifth grade, and she rolls her eyes.
“Of course I did. I’ve kept pretty much everything. I thought you needed some things to remember me by.”
A faux grimace flashes across her face while I level her with my gaze so she can see the truth in my words. “I might be moving, but I’m not gonna forget about you. You’re my best friend.” She smiles and we hug again. I realize that no matter what happens, I’ll make sure to never lose this girl.
She’s too special.
Heading upstairs, we pass Josh and Mom as they’re heading out to catch their private jet. He sends a polite smile to Jamie, who sends one right back, as we go straight to my room.
“I can’t believe Josh and Mama Kate are going to Los Angeles right now,” she mumbles, and I chuckle, nodding.
“Kudos to the company jet, you know him.” We both roll our eyes as packing peanuts, plastic wrap, and flat moving boxes lie all around us.
She ties back her wavy chestnut locks with a satin scrunchie as she starts to build one, and a feeling of gratitude washes over me.
The newest episode of the astronomy podcast we listen to comes on, and I smile at how well this girl knows me.
We hang out for the rest of the afternoon, genuine happiness filling me.
This moment helps temporarily remove the anxiety that’s been festering for days.
After a while, Jamie grunts as she sits on my chair, clearly wiped out.
“You know, you still haven’t told me how you feel about moving.
” I raise my eyebrows and she crosses her arms. “Isn’t Los Angeles where Mister Man lives?
” she asks as if that wasn’t the first thing that ran through my mind when Josh said we were moving.
I send her an unimpressed expression and she shrugs innocently.
Sighing, I close up the box filled with my books.
“Well, he did when I left. I have no idea now,” I mumble, and she gasps, making me glance at her.
“What if you guys reconnect again? C’mon, I can tell you wouldn’t be totally opposed to the idea.”
Panic fills me for a bit, and I turn around briskly, losing my balance on a roll of tape on the floor. Jamie glances at me in confusion fused with concern. I play it off by grabbing another unmade box from the pile, my hand wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
She scoffs and comes closer to me, poking me jokingly. “Bianca, puh-lease. I see it every time we talk about him. Your face lights up.”
I stand back up to my full height. “Can we just not talk about it?” I ask sharply, and her look of defiance drops.
I rub a hand over my face, feeling exhausted, my aching muscles crying out.
“Look, J, yes, I’ve thought about it. And it terrifies me,” I whisper, sitting on my bed, catching her attention, and she slides next to me.
“Our friendship ended so abruptly, and it’s something I never got closure on.
Besides, getting denied from UPenn essentially was the kicker telling me I no longer belong here.
There’s so much going through my head, and while talking about Liam used to bring me so much happiness .
. .” I wipe at the tears welling in my eyes. “It doesn’t anymore.”
Jamie looks at me with understanding and leans over to hug me. I embrace her at the same time my phone buzzes. My eyes dart down to see Mom’s contact photo lighting up my screen, but I don’t bother picking it up.