CHAPTER FOUR
BIANCA
I never knew how true the expression “Get distracted enough and a lifetime will pass you by” was until one of the movers Josh hired reaches for a box I’m bringing down from my room upstairs.
Smiling at him, he grabs it as others focus on moving our furniture, the place becoming emptier by the minute.
At that, a guy makes his way out with an all-too-familiar photo album, and I stop in front of him.
“Can I see that, please?” He nods, and I grab it as he continues to carry everything else to the huge truck outside. I sit on the lone plastic-wrapped chair. The squeak rings out, drowning out Josh’s shouts at them to be more careful.
Flipping to the last page, I’m met with Dad’s freckled face, and I rub my thumb across each of the pictures.
He’s smiling in every single one, and I wish I could remember him more vividly, but it’s been so long.
Thumbing through, there’s his and Mom’s wedding day.
He’s looking at her, and you can see the immediate love in their eyes.
There’s a zoomed-in picture of her tired face and Dad’s happy one with a little bundle in his arms.
Holding the book, I go back upstairs, being met with a bare room, and my heart constricts at the scene. The memories almost jump out from the walls, and I imagine another person making what once was my safe space theirs.
My eyes well as Jamie and I already said goodbye today since she couldn’t be here on the actual day of the move. However, she did come by almost every day prior, helping me with the packing as well as keeping me company since Josh and Mom have been out of the house, jetting between here and LA.
He slapped a big for sale sign right in front of the house as soon as he could. The money that would come from either selling or renting would be a great investment for our future. His words, not mine.
Grabbing my backpack with all my essentials, I carry my old suitcase down the stairs. Mom and Josh are waiting for me at the front door. I look at the empty living room and an old memory overwhelms me:
“Grandma, what is it?”
She shrugged and laughed; my heart ached at how her and Dad’s laughs sounded so similar.
“Please?” I pouted, and she rolled her eyes as she put her hands on her hips.
“Okay, you can open one gift. Just don’t tell your mom.” I nodded happily as she looked at Mom in the kitchen. After Grandma sent me a subtle thumbs-up, I giggled and moved to the Christmas tree.
A shaky breath escapes me and I turn around, the memory vanishing as I walk closer to the front door. Getting out, I twist the key and check to make sure it’s locked. With one last deep breath, I walk away from a place that gave me such happy memories.
Once again.
I’ve got a headache bigger than I’ve ever had in my life.
Josh’s favorite pilot has his day off today, which means we’ve been sitting here while Josh argues with management.
Though, it was the first time I’ve ever seen Mom roll her eyes at him, so that was pretty funny.
Unfortunately, due to the maximum occupancy of the private airline lounge being at cap, we were moved to the public one right before security and Olivia has been blowing up all of their phones until Josh let her come hang with us “one last time.”
She’s holding on to Josh like it’s the last time she’ll see him while Mom sits next to them, consoling Olivia.
I can’t believe that today I leave Philly for good.
This place became my home, and I don’t want to leave.
All the people I met here—well, the person I met who became such a big part of my life—is going to be left behind, and I can’t bear it.
I take a sip of my iced coffee and look up every time I hear something even close to my name or her voice.
I hope that maybe Jamie will come, but with the way this place thoroughly vets the people allowed in, I sincerely doubt it.
Sighing at that, I look over at Mom and Josh at the desk talking to the airline employee once again, when they both cheer shortly after.
Olivia looks up from her phone as they make their way to us.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Thankfully, we got sent his son, who is supposedly the second-best pilot. So, I guess he’ll do,” Josh reluctantly says, and Mom cups his face, giggling. He smiles. “Just want the best for my family.” He leans over to kiss her, and I turn around to gag, while Olivia mirrors the expression.
“So, are we leaving soon?” I ask, and Mom wobbles her hand side to side in a so-so gesture. Making note of it, I turn on my music once more and close my eyes, drowning out life entirely.
As the songs begin fading into one another, I can subtly hear some hurrying footsteps, but I don’t bother opening my eyes, chalking it up to the other passengers.
A rush of cold air hits my ears as my headphones are carefully taken off, and my eyes shoot open.
Blinking to regulate my surroundings, a blurry figure is waving a hand in front of my face.
“We have to get to boarding. The pilot’s here,” Mom says, and my eyes widen, realizing more time than I’ve thought has gone by.
Olivia’s nowhere to be seen, and Josh and Mom are making their way to the gate.
My heart deflates when I realize that this is it.
My eyes well with tears and I face away from her, grabbing my cord from the charging port. I make my way to the entrance, but as I’m going, I suddenly hear someone yelling.
“Bianca!”
Spinning, I don’t see anyone calling me, and I laugh to myself, as I think I’ve officially gone insane. Shaking my head, I see Josh through the glass windows signaling me into the hallway. Making my way there, my steps stop when I clearly hear my name this time.
I turn around apprehensively and see a somewhat sweaty Jamie running toward me in her work uniform. I instantly put my backpack down, meeting her halfway. We collide in a hug, and my throat closes up slightly as tears well in my eyes.
“How?”
“Mama Kate added me to the vetted list. I asked her not to tell you in case I didn’t make it.
” She pulls back, grabbing me by the shoulders.
“Listen to me. You’re my best friend and the only person to show me what true friendship is.
You care about me more than my own family does.
” More tears rain down my face as she chuckles sadly.
“We will always be best friends. No matter how far apart we are. And I swear, if you don’t text and call me, I will buy a plane ticket to come strangle you.
” I laugh, her following along. “I’m gonna miss you so much. ”
“I will too, Jamie. You have no idea.” I wipe my face and step back. “I actually have something for you. I was gonna give it to you earlier, but it didn’t come in till this morning.” I rummage around my backpack, and she holds up a rather large gift bag of her own.
“Great minds think alike,” she replies, and I hand her the bag while she passes me hers. She looks at me and I nod, giving her permission to open it now. Reaching a hand in, she pulls out a light blue notebook and gel pens.
“I saw on your wish list you wanted them for studying at UPenn, so I . . .” I trail off, and a tear comes down her face as she hugs me tighter.
“You’re the best, B.” I hug her in response. I try to open the bag, but she pulls back, stopping me. “Do me a favor? Open it when I’m not here.”
Nodding at that, I turn around as someone calls my name. Of course, Josh appears while tapping his watch, looking annoyed, causing me to roll my eyes while Jamie laughs.
“Is it wrong that I don’t like that guy?”
I shake my head, giggling before muttering, “Bye, Jamie.”
She puts her hand over her mouth, waving at me. “See you later, B.”
Walking through security, I glance back one last time and see Jamie. She waves again, but I don’t return it. Instead, I walk into the hall that leads to the cart that will drive us to the jet, having finally torn my eyes away from my heartbroken best friend.
Boarding the small plane, I’m greeted by the captain and the flight attendant, and I nod in response.
The jet is what you would expect: all white leather seats, the brown lining contrasting.
There’s a coolness on my back as I sit next to the chilled bin filled with drinks.
Mom and Josh sit comfortably on the sofa, champagne flutes in their hands as her legs rest on top of his.
Bending slightly to get my journal, I turn in time to see Mom glancing back at me.
I nod at her and she smiles, going back to talking with Josh while the gift bag opens up at my feet, tempting me.
Multiple layers of decorative tissue paper later, I pull out a gorgeous dress.
I remember daydreaming with Jamie on the Dior website.
There was a beautiful gown for twenty-five hundred dollars, and we joked that even selling our kidneys wouldn’t cover it.
I can’t believe she went through all this trouble of recreating it.
Looking at the detailing, I realize this must’ve taken her hours.
I look back in the bag and see a card with my name on it. Tentatively, I open it.
Dear B,
If you’re reading this, it means today is the day you leave Philly.
I really wanted to give you something to remember me by, and ever since I saw your eyes light up at that Dior dress, I knew I had found my next project.
Of course, I had no idea it would be your going-away gift, but I think it works out pretty well.
I hope you like it, and thank you for always being my biggest hype woman when it comes to following my dreams.
I love and will miss you so much,
Jamie
Folding up the letter, I clear my throat, trying not to get emotional, rubbing my thumb along the dress. It’s an elegant emerald-green gown with minuscule glittering crystals. It’s body hugging and strapless, and I fall in love with the soft, silky feel of it.
I mean, it’s Jamie’s creation. That girl is an absolute genius when it comes to this stuff.
I hug it to my chest for a bit, then gently tuck it back into the bag.
My journal rests on my leg, the words I’ve been wanting to write for days begging to be set free.
The jet rumbles to life, incoherent gibberish coming through the speaker, causing me to laugh softly.
They say hope can either be your saving grace or downfall, but I hope it isn’t my ruining.
I want to have hope again.
I’m going to California, and not just anywhere, but to Los Angeles. The place where I used to live. Where my ex-best friend might still live.
As always, the overthinking part of my brain starts to run as I worry about what to do with my life now that high school is over.
I hate that my counselors were right and that I should’ve applied for safety schools.
There’s still time to apply to some community colleges if I really want to stay in Pennsylvania.
Then, I could transfer to UPenn. It sounds like the perfect solution, and Jamie and I would finally get to do what we’ve been dreaming of for years.
Or . . . I could just embrace that I’m moving back to California and apply to colleges there for the fall and either try to transfer to UPenn later or apply to universities there.
I feel like I’m being pulled in two different directions, the right decision not seeming clear at all.
As my mind wanders a bit, the hopeless romantic in me drowns out the student.
If I were to see Liam, how would he react? Would he be happy . . . or unbothered? I mean, there’s a huge chance I might not ever see him, so there’s that too.
And after that, my journal finally gets what it’s been waiting for.