Chapter 19
Grace
Your mind is sabotaging your happiness. How does this man, a virtual stranger, know me so well? Because it’s true, isn’t it? That’s exactly what my mind does. I finally found something that fulfills me, and my mind’s already trying to bury it.
You’re a stupid, brainwashed cunt.
Such ugly words, and for what? Because submitting to my Master makes me happy? What’s wrong with that?
The voice in the back of my mind has a million replies, but I ignore it and focus on Master’s hand between my legs.
His fingers slide easily through my soaked folds, sometimes sending a sharp spike of pain when he spanks my ass, but mostly giving me pleasure.
He’s quiet, and I wonder if what I said was wrong.
It shouldn’t be. He asked me what I needed, what my feelings were telling me to do, and I told the truth, that what I need right now is to make him happy.
He was so disappointed when I admitted thinking about escaping and really, who could blame him?
After what he said about helping me, about always being there…
No one’s ever said anything like that to me.
He’s dead serious about being there for me, and isn’t that wonderful?
I don’t know how I’d survive this without him.
His fingers circle my clit, rub the sides, then press down on it. The last one makes me whimper, my pussy throbbing with the impending orgasm. I try to hold it back but it’s like trying to stop an avalanche. “Please, Master. I’m going to come. May I come? Please, Master?”
“Not yet, Doll.”
Oh, god. How can I stop myself from coming?
I’m so aroused I can’t think about anything but the raw need throbbing in my pussy, and I doubt distracting myself would help now.
“Please spank me!” I cry out. I don’t like the pain, but I like the idea of disappointing the trainer by coming without permission even less.
Last time he teased me like this, he was willing to spank me instead of touching me.
I can only pray he does the same, or I’m doomed.
Pain erupts where my ass meets my thigh. I whimper at the sharp sensation, grateful that it lowers my arousal. A little. “Thank you, Master.”
His voice is strained as he says, “You’re going to be the death of me, Doll.” I hear the rustle of clothes and his groan, and I assume he’s about to fuck me, but it’s his fingers, not his cock, that touch my pussy again. “You’ve done very well, little Doll. Your submission is making me happy.”
I’m making him happy. I can’t stop smiling at his praise. “I’m happy to serve, Master.” And I am. Screw the voice in the back of my mind telling me it’s wrong.
“Good. You may come.”
Oh my god, I can come? The thought brings me such relief that the orgasm, which has been building for hours, catches me completely unprepared.
It tears through me like a storm, my body jerking and spasming, and I’m pretty sure I’m screaming, but none of it matters as white-hot bliss floods my mind and finally silences the voices.
For god knows how long, everything is perfect.
Pain flares as Master spanks me, but it blends with the pleasure, even sharpens it.
Something hot splatters over my back as Master groans, holding onto my hips like I’m his lifeline.
By the time the strongest waves fade, I’m limp over the sawhorse, my body twitching now and then when Master rubs my clit or taps my sore ass.
I’m lightheaded from being upside down so long and stumble when my restraints are removed.
But my Master is there, holding me against his firm chest, whispering more praise into my hair, and everything is great.
He hands me a glass of water, which I gulp down greedily, then takes me to the bathroom to clean me up. Once he’s sure I’m steady on my feet, he gives me a moment of partial privacy.
My thighs scream in protest as I move around the bathroom, but that pain is paired with a satisfied feeling of being punished and forgiven.
Master doesn’t hold grudges the way my parents did.
He was firm but fair, and once it was over, he forgave me and even rewarded me with an orgasm, which was more than I deserved.
I wish I could have more time with him, but I know sending me away isn’t his choice.
I heard the truth in his voice when he said he wanted to keep me, and that’s good enough. It has to be.
Once I’m done in the bathroom, I go searching for my Master, expecting to find him in the kitchen. My palms turn clammy when he calls me from the part of the apartment filled with torture devices. He forgave me, didn’t he? Is he going to keep punishing me?
Then I remember he doesn’t need a reason. My body belongs to him, and my pain pleases him. I want to please him, so I steel myself as I make my way between the benches, tables, cages, and other equipment I can’t even name.
Master’s eyes brighten when I join him, and his lips twitch as if he’s holding back a smile.
His voice is rough as he orders me to sit on a chair, but I have a feeling at least part of that gruff exterior is fake.
Maybe he wants to be kind but can’t, because he has to act like a strict trainer.
It would make sense, especially if Dolls usually give him a hard time when he tries to help.
Wincing, I settle on the simple wooden chair, my ass protesting the hard surface, but I know better than to ask for something softer to sit on.
The chair’s backrest is unusually tall, high enough for me to rest my head.
It quickly becomes clear why when Master, having secured my wrists and ankles, tightens straps across my shoulders, neck and forehead, completely immobilizing me.
My nerves spike as he drags a machine closer, positioning it level with my mouth before attaching a dildo.
“Open up, Doll,” he orders, and when I obey, the tip of the dildo slips between my lips. “Alright, that will be the zero point,” the trainer murmurs as he fiddles with the machine’s remote controller. “We’re going to start slow and shallow…”
I gasp as the machine whirs to life, pushing the dildo deeper into my mouth before pulling it back, over and over.
It doesn’t go too deep, just an inch or two before returning to its original position between my lips, never leaving my mouth completely.
Saliva fills my mouth as the silicone glides over my tongue, and I struggle to swallow around it.
Master pats my hair. “Relax, Doll, you’ll be here a while.
We’ll start slow, but I’ll gradually increase the depth and intensity so the back of your tongue gets used to being touched.
You just sit back, relax and focus on controlling your gag reflex.
It helps to have a relaxed lower jaw and to stick your tongue out. ”
“Uh-huh,” I manage around the toy in my mouth. Sticking my tongue out does make more space in my mouth, but it also lets some of the drool pooling in my mouth drip onto my chest, so I hastily pull it back.
He wipes my chin with his thumb and shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that. It’s natural and fucking sexy. Just focus on learning, okay? I’ll be around. I won’t leave you.” With that, he moves out of my line of sight, making me wish what he said were true.