Chapter 18
POV: Cole?
I hadn’t talked to Abby in an entire day.
I had her cell phone number by now, so I could’ve called her but I guess I was old school and wanted to smooth things over in person.
I knew she was pissed about how I acted when her father confronted me. But I wasn’t going to argue and disrespect her old man. He had every damn right to be angry with me. He thought he knew who I was—a cowboy—a man who didn’t care to settle down—a man who was using his daughter.
While he got a few of his beliefs correct—those being—I was a cowboy and I wasn’t keen on settling down—he got one thing dead wrong—I wasn’t using Abby. I cared for her. I just wasn’t good with…emotions.
The only way I knew how to show my emotions was…control.
So, I sat outside the bar, in the back alley, staring at the bar door and waiting for Abby to toss the garbage into the dumpster.
It was 30 minutes past closing, she had just kicked out the last town drunk 45 minutes ago, and she still hadn’t taken out the trash. There must be a lot to clean up today, I thought.
But like clockwork, another minute ticked by and the back door swung up and out Abby walked. Short dress, cowboy boots, tired face and all. God, even then she looked beautiful.
She glanced towards my truck, realizing immediately who it was and rolled her eyes.
I took this as the perfect opportunity. I got out of my truck, slamming the door behind me, as my gaze never left hers. With a few swift steps, I stopped in front of her as she glared at me with a lot of attitude.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, matter of factly.
I studied her face for a moment, trying to draw out more attitude—more sass—more disobedience.
I shrugged. “Figured you were closing.” Calm and collected.
“So you’re stalking me?” she laughed but there was no humor to it.
“If that’s what you’d like to call it.”
Her eyes flickered down to my lips. God, she was predictable. Hot, bothered, and begging for a kiss.
But tonight I wanted things to go a bit differently.
“I’d call it just that, Cole!”
I laughed, a rough burly laugh that ached in my belly. “Really, Abby? Really, we’re going to do this?”
“Do what?” she rolled her eyes.
I took a step forward and ran my thumb across her cheek.
And she let me.
“Stop denying the way I make you feel. Even when you’re mad at me you can’t help it, Abs.”
She rolled her eyes again, taking a step back, separating herself from me. “I’m not the one denying anything, Cole. That’s your game, not mine. Like when you couldn’t even find a thing to say in front of my father!”
“Abby–” I began, taking her wrist in my grasp and yanking her into my chest.
She fought against me, pounding her little hands on my chest with anger.
“Stop, Abby.”
But she kept going.
I caught her other wrist in my hand, holding her in place and stopping her from thrashing against me. “I’m sorry, Abby.”
“Not good enough!” she yelled with fire in her blue eyes.
I gritted my teeth. “What’s good enough for you, Abby? Did you want me to yell at your father—insult him—tell him that I didn’t care what he thought, huh? Did you want me to tell him to fuck off, that it didn’t matter what he thought about me, because it’s not his choice? Abby,
I’m not some teenage boy. I’m a man, a grown man, and your father is right to have his reservations about me. He’s right to worry for you.”
She stopped trying to hit me for a second and looked up at me with wide blue eyes.
Fuck, I didn’t need her to look at me like that right now, especially when I was trying to be serious.
“I just expected you to say something,” she said quietly.
“There was nothing to say that would’ve made your father feel differently,” I said sternly.
She let out a sigh and nodded in agreement. “I know. I just—”
I took that as the perfect opportunity to kiss her.
My lips landed on hers and my tongue waded in the depths of her mouth and I tasted her.
I didn’t want to stop but I knew I needed to. I didn’t want this to lead to sex…for once. I knew we had to have a conversation sooner or later and not just put a bandaid over it.
“What a way to shut me up,” she joked.
I ran my thumb over her cheekbone, feeling the smoothness of her skin underneath my touch. “It worked, didn’t it?
“It always does,” she scoffed, turning away from me.
I caught her wrist and softened my grasp a bit. “Come home with me.”
She tried to tug away from my grasp but I wouldn’t let her. “I’m not in the mood to fuck, Cole.”
It pained me to say it but I meant it. “No fucking.”
“Yeah right,” she laughed and rolled her eyes.
I softened my tone, trying to show her my sincerity. “I mean it this time, Abby. No sex.”
She studied me for a moment, reading the truth on my face. “So, what are we going to do, Cole? Sit there and talk about our feelings? Cuddle? I can’t see you doing either.”
My jaw ticked from her sass. God, this woman would be the death of me. “I don’t but I’m willing to make a concession.”
She cocked an eyebrow, curiously. “A concession?”
I shrugged. “Emotions and cuddling.”
“Whatever—nice try, Cole,” she tried to get out of my grip for the final time.
With one tug, I brought her back into my chest and wrapped my arms protectively around her waist. “I’m serious.”
“Fine. Now let me go.” Then she stomped off towards the bar, slamming the door behind her, and leaving me staring at her, wondering if I could keep my promise.
The drive was long. I followed behind Abby and when we finally turned down the winding road of my ranch, I let out a heavy breath of relief.
So far, so good.
But as the door closed behind us, the air in the room felt heavier.
“I’m waiting,” Abby said with her arms crossed against her chest as she leaned against my island countertop.
I set my cowboy hat down on my living room table and walked towards her, stopping a few inches away from her face.
“Sit,” I pointed towards the couch.
She didn’t obey immediately, not until I plopped down on the couch and she sat a few feet away from me, she was careful not to be too close.
“Like I said I’m sorry, I’m not good with emotions. But I’m not going to argue with your father, ever. That isn’t me.”
“I wasn’t asking you to argue with my father. I just wanted to tell him you weren’t using me!”
“I’m not,” I replied.
“Well, I don’t think he believes you,” she scoffed. “And I’m not sure if I do either.”
“I’m not using you, Abby.” I scooted towards her, so that our legs touched and I could look directly into her eyes. “Feelings are just complicated for me. I’ve never been one for them or expressing them.” I shook my head, hanging my head low and staring at my lap.
She surprised me by placing her hand on mine then her other around my shoulder. She leaned against me and whispered, “Feelings are complicated, Cole. But being honest about them, isn’t.”
I looked up at her with sincerity. “I’m being honest with you. I swear.” And for the first time in my life I felt vulnerable. “I just don’t like feeling vulnerable.”
“No one does,” she laughed. “But that’s a part of life.”
“I wish it wasn’t,” I muttered.
“So do I.”
“Enough emotions for the night,” I said, getting to my feet and offering her my hand.
She took it without protest. “You said no sex.”
Goddamn it, I did.
And as much as I wanted to fuck her—make her scream my name—and then mark her with my cum again, I knew I made a promise to her and one that I was deadset on keeping for once in my life to a woman.
I swooped her off her feet and carried her towards my bedroom. “No sex. Cuddling.”
“Alright, cowboy, if you say so,” she teased.
I let my hand fall lower until I was able to grip her ass playfully. “I do say so.”
We laid in bed that night cuddling—just sleeping.
I kept my promise to her.
And as I held her against my chest, studying the way she breathed, and the way she whispered in her sleep, I realized that I was going down a path of complete unknown.