Chapter Four
Okay, so I might have overreacted a little that morning.
Fine. A lot.
I might have overreacted a lot.
But, in my defense, I hadn’t expected to find Dex snuggled up in bed with…
well, with someone who wasn’t me. Not that I had any right to assume he’d be snuggled up with me, either, considering the clusterfuck that was the current state of our friendship, but here’s the thing: Dexter knew how I felt about him.
Or, at least, he knew how I felt about him a hundred years earlier.
Of course, telling him how I felt about him is what led to us not speaking for a century, so…
maybe he thought I’d moved on? Except our interactions over the previous few years were all strained with the tension of The Thing We Wouldn’t Talk About, so I just assumed he knew I wasn’t over it. Over him.
And, yeah, seeing him with Sergio stung even more because I wasn’t blind. I could see how hot Sergio was. If I wasn’t stuck pining over my best friend, I would have been all over that man like a rash…much like Dex seemed to be.
But the fact remained none of that was Sergio’s fault, and I made an ass out of myself and made the poor guy feel uncomfortable and unwelcome because of my own stupid jealousy.
Nobody ever accused me of being the smart Weldman brother.
I knew I had to apologize. To Sergio, at the very least. Dex probably also deserved an apology, but I had no idea what to say to him. ‘Sorry I acted like a jealous freak because even after all this time and your attitude lately, I’m still in love with you?’
Hard pass on that.
Especially when confessing my feelings made him cut and run all that time ago. If he ran again, I didn’t think I could handle it.
But I was a grown-ass man. A dragon. I wasn’t a coward.
And I was in the wrong.
Damn it. I have to apologize to Dex, too.
“What is that look all about?” Brandt’s question brought me out of my thoughts and I blinked.
“Hmm?”
Removing one hand from his nearly comedically-sized swollen belly, he waggled his fingers in front of my face.
“That look,” he repeated in his mottled accent.
He grimaced and shifted his position on his couch.
“You look as if you just sucked a lemon. Nobody is forcing you to babysit me here, you realize. I am perfectly capable—”
“I’m not bored hanging out with you, Bee,” I cut him off with a shake of my head. “And it isn’t babysitting.”
“Pffft.” He rolled his dark eyes and rubbed at his stomach.
“I am well aware that Micah practically begged you, Eric, and Beck to watch me like a hawk in his absence. He even has Carson in on it.” The pout on my older brother’s face as he complained about his nanny being involved was hilarious, but I knew better than to laugh at him.
With the state of his hormones, I wouldn’t put it past him to partially shift and blow flames at me in retribution.
“I have not been allowed to parent my own daughters in weeks, Sage. Weeks.”
My amusement faded into empathy. I knew how deeply Brandt loved his daughters.
The triplet girls had turned one only a few weeks earlier, and it was clearly eating at him to not be able to carry them or crawl around with them on the floor.
“Nobody wants you straining yourself,” I reminded him gently.
“The longer you keep those boys inside you, the better chance you have of bringing them home pretty much immediately.”
I held my breath after I spoke, hoping that the reminder of the hell he had gone through after the girls’ premature births didn’t accidentally trigger an emotional meltdown. Both Eric and Micah would probably kill me if I upset Brandt like that now, and I wouldn’t blame them.
I wanted to have babies almost as desperately as Brandt had.
I could only imagine how heartbreaking it must have been for him to leave his newborns in someone else’s care for the first couple of months of their lives.
How devastating not even being able to hold them for days —weeks, even— must have felt.
The last thing I wanted to do was increase Brandt’s fear of reliving that experience with the birth of his sons.
Thankfully, Brandt’s shoulders only slumped as he let out a resigned sigh and nodded, “I know. But it is difficult to feel so useless. Especially as a father.” Now his eyes misted over, and his voice wobbled. “I miss my girls.”
I reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly.
“It’s only a few more weeks, right?” He nodded miserably.
I squeezed again, forcing a bright smile.
“A few more weeks is nothing. Then you’ll have five babies to run around after.
” Suddenly, my smile felt less forced and more teasing as I added, “Good luck finding the time or energy to make any more after that.”
Even my broody-as-fuck omega self couldn’t fathom what it would take to wrangle three one-year-olds and two newborns. Say bye-bye to sleep and your sex life, Bee.
Brandt rolled his eyes, effectively distracted. “We are planning to hire a second nanny to assist us.”
“Yeah, except you’re both hands-on dads, so don’t try and pretend you’re not going to be exhausted by trying to do it all anyway.”
“Speaking of pretending,” my brother arched an eyebrow at me, “do not think I missed you sidestepping my question.”
“What question?”
That thick, dark eyebrow inched higher. “Sage.”
I sighed. Despite his hormones and baby brain, Brandt was still sharp as ever when it came to the people he cared about. “It’s nothing, Bee.”
“Which means it actually is something.” He shoved another cushion behind his back, groaning with what sounded like relief as he settled back against the extra support.
“And if you insist on babysitting me, you can at least allow me to feel useful by unburdening your woes on me. Perhaps I can offer advice…?” Cocking his head, he smiled encouragingly.
“Or even just a willing ear while you let off steam?”
I hadn’t spoken to either of my brothers about my initial falling out with Dexter, nor had I told them anything about our issues since Dex had come back into my life.
I knew they both suspected something was up —they were the smart siblings, after all— but they had respected my privacy enough to not push me.
But now I’d reached my breaking point. I needed to talk to someone, especially if I was starting to snap at innocent bystanders caught up in our mess. I was just so tired of keeping it all to myself. Burnt out, if you’ll excuse the accidental pun. (Because, y’know, dragons.)
But it really was a lot to hold onto for so long.
What had happened between me and Dex had spilled into my personal life without me even realizing it.
I’d spent a hundred years feeling lonely and rejected, and I had pulled away from Brandt and Eric because I knew they wouldn’t understand.
Or, at least, I’d thought they wouldn’t.
Some part of me even thought that maybe Dexter was right: maybe two omegas together was a bad idea.
Maybe being in love with my best friend was stupid.
Maybe my brothers would agree with him and tell me I just needed to get over it. Get over Dex.
The thing was, I just couldn’t keep going with this weighing on me anymore.
And if anyone had even a slight chance of understanding my feelings, it would be Brandt.
He was older than me, and even if he hadn’t pined for a specific man for any particular length of time, I knew his omega had desperately yearned for a mate and family at the very least. And he had been so afraid that Micah would reject him when he had helped himself to their fertilized eggs in the lab, too.
Even if it hadn’t happened, Brandt could at least relate in theory to what I had felt.
Licking my lips, I picked up another of Brandt’s cushions (the man had so many!) and cuddled it to my chest. “I love Dex,” I confessed quietly, a shameful blush rising to my cheeks.
Brandt stared back at me expectantly. He didn’t seem even the least bit shocked.
Cringing, I extrapolated, “I mean, I’m in love with him. I have been for…well, forever, I guess. But when I told him, he…ugh.”
Understanding dawned in my brother’s dark eyes before he scowled. “I will kill him.”
“Yeah, you look real menacing right now, too,” I teased, secretly pleased by his protective streak.
We might have been hundreds of years old, but it was nice that my big brother still had my back.
I felt a bit guilty for ever doubting that he would.
Then I shook my head and sighed. “But it was a long time ago, Bee. I thought I was over it. But then he turned up here and…” Shrugging helplessly, I trailed off.
“Your feelings have not changed.”
“Unfortunately not.”
“And his?”
“I don’t think he’s gotten over his weird hang up about two omegas being together, no.”
Brandt’s frown deepened again. “His what?”
“He said some dumb stuff when we first fought about it,” I slumped back in my seat. “Tried to use our secondary genders as a reason we shouldn’t be together.”
A century earlier, I had told Dexter he was an idiot for saying that we couldn’t be together because we were both omegas.
What difference did it make, I had demanded to know.
No, we couldn’t bond or mate or breed with each other like an alpha and omega pairing might, but outside of that, what was the difference between us being together —loving each other— and an alpha and an omega doing the same?
Didn’t we love the same way? Enjoy each other’s companionship the same way?
And if there were no more alphas left in the world, why force ourselves to live out our lives alone?
Dex didn’t have an answer for me back then. I didn’t think he would have one now, either.
“I…am at a loss for words,” Brandt blinked, seemingly dumbfounded. Then that damnable eyebrow was arching again. “And this is the man you profess to love? Really?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, well, the heart wants what it wants.”
“Your heart deserves better, Sage. You deserve better.”
Awww. That was sweet. But then Brandt always was the kindest of all of us.
“Except,” I cringed, “I kind of owe him an apology.” Before my brother could ask, I launched into the whole story from that morning.
Seeing Dex in bed with Sergio, allowing the jealousy to control my reactions, making an ass of myself.
I laid it all out for him, culminating in the acknowledgement that both Dex and Sergio deserved apologies.
“But I don’t want to apologize to Dex,” I whined as I finished.
Brandt squirmed in his seat, shifting his hips and rubbing his abdomen.
His face was contorted in discomfort again, but once he settled into a new position, the expression smoothed out.
“I can imagine,” he said in response to my near-childish complaint.
“But perhaps you could use this as an opportunity to talk things out with him properly. The way you should have when he came to town.”
“That’s what I was afraid you’d say.”
“Can we talk?” I found myself asking later that evening.
It was just me and Dexter at home, with Sergio having accepted a guest room at Beck and Ollie’s place. The shaman had accepted my apology with understanding earlier in the day, but something inside me whined at wanting to fix things properly…whatever the hell that meant.
Dex gave me a wary look but nodded and came to sit across from me in the living room. Where Brandt’s place was cozy and littered with hints of his hectic family life, mine was modern and minimalist, all neutral tones and clean, polished surfaces.
“I owe you an apology,” I started when it seemed like Dex was waiting for me to make the first move, “so, I’m sorry for losing my shit this morning. I…” biting my lip, I took a centering breath and confessed, “I got jealous and the things I said weren’t cool.”
Dexter’s eyes searched mine while he seemed to process my words, his plump lips quirking at the corners. “Were you jealous of Sergio, or of me?”
Opening my mouth, my words faltered. I was jealous of Sergio, wasn’t I? For snuggling up with Dex all night? For having his sexy, toned arms wrapped around Dex’s body and not mine—ah, shit.
“Both of you?” The reply came out uncertain, surprise at my own feelings sweeping over me and making me feel almost dizzy with the realization.
I knew I thought Sergio was attractive, but it was beginning to dawn on me that I was interested in him for more than just a passing glance or two.
Dex’s quirked lips stretched into a knowing grin. “Both of us, you say.”
“You’re ruining my apology.”
This time, he rolled his eyes, still smirking. “It was a half-arsed apology anyway, Sage. I know you can do better.”
With cheeks flushing and confusion over the realization that I was jealous of both Dexter and Sergio tumbling through my head, I huffed and pushed to my feet. “I don’t know why I bother with you.”
The amusement on his handsome face melted away. “Wait, Sage—”
I took a step back. “No. I can’t do this right now.”
“You were the one who wanted to talk.” Dex’s hand was still extended forward, trying to stall my escape. “So talk, Sage.”
I had so many things I wanted to say. A hundred years of hurt and anger and pleas.
New confusion, too, and maybe a smidgeon of hope that his thoughts about my feelings for him had changed.
But for all of that, my mind was blank, and I shook my head.
“I’ve changed my mind. I can’t right now.
” My head was spinning and something itched under my skin.
Getting up from the couch, I backed out of the room, heading towards my bedroom — a space where I could regroup and really think about everything. “Later. I’m sorry.”