Chapter 4
four
Briar brushed smoky eyeshadow over her eyelids, the same way the woman in the “get ready with me” video did.
No, she’d never look like the women online, because she wasn’t a size zero and blonde.
But she thought her makeup came out just fine for a Black Friday breakfast at a yuppy place in the Highland Square area of the city.
Tarr had texted only a half-hour after dropping her off, telling her Yolks Up had a nine-fifteen and a ten o’clock reservation. She’d opted for the ten AM one, because they’d have to drive thirty-fives minutes just to get there, and she didn’t want to have to be ready before nine o’clock.
She got up from her vanity and reached for the dark brown sweater she’d laid out on her bed. She’d paired it with a pair of black jeans, and she pulled on her ankle boots about the time Wiggins started barking.
He ran down the hall toward her, his claws skidding on the hardwood floor as he went “Bark! Bark! Bark-bark!” He looked at her, barked again, and took off out of the bedroom and down the hall again.
At least Briar knew no one could get into the cabin without her knowing. Still. “Wiggins,” she complained as the dog came back toward her. “I hear you. It’s just Tarr.”
Just Tarr.
More false words had never been spoken. Nothing about Tarr was “just” anything.
The man exuded power from his broad shoulders, and he moved with fluidity and grace.
She’d never seen him try something he couldn’t do perfectly, and she somehow fit exactly against his chest and could fall asleep in his arms in less than ten seconds flat.
Wiggins jumped onto the couch, his front paws on the back of it as he nosed his way through the curtains covering the front window. He barked against the glass, and Briar shook her head as she reached for the doorknob.
She opened the front door and pulled it toward her, half-hoping a witch had visited Tarr in the night and cast a spell on him. He’d have to endure being an ogre, and then Briar wouldn’t feel so inferior in his presence.
Sadly, Tarr had not turned into an ogre overnight, and the god of a cowboy stood on her front porch in a pair of dark wash denim jeans with a dark gray shirt tucked into an impossibly big belt buckle.
He wore a black leather jacket over that, with that deliciously matching hat perched just-so on his head.
“Morning,” he said in that smooth, bass voice that made Briar sigh.
“Good morning,” she said back. “Do I need my purse?”
“I don’t see why you would,” he said. “Unless you want to walk around the shops or something.”
Briar turned to get her purse, because she didn’t go shopping very often, and she didn’t know what might catch her eye in the area around Yolks Up.
She didn’t think Tarr would tell her she couldn’t go somewhere she wanted to, and she shouldered her purse and turned back to find Tarr crouched down, lavishing love on Wiggins.
She smiled at the way he chuckled, at the way he loved her dog, at the memory of having those big, capable hands on her back and pressed against her side.
Something like happiness tickled through her, and she pulled in a breath. Tarr looked up, saw her, and straightened. “You okay, honey?”
She blinked, her normal coming back into focus.
She may be going on a date with Tarr, but that didn’t mean they were dating.
She might be able to let down her guard a little bit with him, but that didn’t mean he needed to know all her secrets.
She could admire his good looks and strength, but that didn’t mean she trusted him.
But maybe you can.
“Briar?”
“I’m okay,” she said, shelving the thought for now. “I’m ready.” She put a smile on her face and expected Tarr to turn and leave her house. He hadn’t come very far inside, probably because he figured she’d glare him right back onto the porch.
Instead, he took the few steps to where she stood at the corner of the dining table and reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “You sure are pretty, Briar,” he murmured.
She had no idea how to respond to that, and thankfully, Tarr dropped his hand to hers and laced his fingers through hers. He turned then, and she walked with him, the heat from his hand coating her whole body in the much-needed warmth.
“Thank you,” she said when she stepped out of the house. Her manners had finally caught up to her, and she knew now how to respond to a cowboy calling her pretty.
Tarr stopped at the top of her steps and gazed up into the sky. “It looks and feels like snow.”
Briar checked the weather religiously in the winter, and she nodded. “Yeah, it’s supposed to start later this afternoon.”
He made a sound of disgust and looked over to her. Briar tried smiling at him again, and it didn’t feel so forced this time. “I think you look nice too, Tarr.”
He blinked at her, pure shock marching across his face. She scoffed, her irritation with him, the situation, and herself going from zero to sixty in less time than it took for her to breathe in. “You don’t have to look so surprised.”
“You’ve never given me a compliment before,” he said. “I’m allowed to be surprised about it.”
“As if you don’t know how devastatingly handsome you are.” She rolled her eyes, pulled her hand away, and started down her front steps.
“Devastatingly handsome?” Tarr coughed, and then his footsteps ran after her. “Briar, wait up.”
She did slow her step, which took her an extra moment, because she was used to giving in to her anger and letting it run her. But since her accident at the Goatel with the coyotes, she’d been trying to slow down, live more deliberately, and assess what she really wanted.
Tarr jogged in front of her and opened the passenger door, then turned back to her. “I checked the menu, and they have lots of non-egg options for you.”
Briar came to a complete stop, though she only had a couple of steps to go to reach him. “I—checked the menu too.”
The corners of his mouth tipped up. “What did you see that you wanted?”
Briar moved closer to him, hoping he’d casually lift his hand and encircle her in his arms. He’d done it before, and every move he made seemed so easy.
She fiddled with the zipper at the bottom of his jacket, and he took his sweet Texas time putting his hand on her waist and sliding it around to her back.
She looked up at him. “I’m so tired, Tarr.”
Alarm crossed his expression. “We can get breakfast to go. Maybe bring it back here and eat in the cabin.” He raised his eyebrows as the question mark on what he’d said.
She shook her head. “I didn’t mean I don’t want to go.”
“What did you mean then?”
“Let’s just go,” she said, sudden embarrassment filling her from top to bottom.
“Hey, can we agree on something first?”
“It’s cold out here, Tarr.”
“Then you better agree fast.”
She sighed but looked up at him, gesturing for him to go on.
“I get you might not want to tell me everything on the first date. But…well, I’ll just say it.” He took a big, deep breath first, though. As he blew it out, he looked past her to the cabin, then brought his eyes back to hers, where they hooked and stuck.
“I obviously like you. I want to know everything about you, and that right there is where I know you’re going to back out.
So I just…I want us to agree that while we don’t have to tell everything with every question…
I want—” He blew out his breath again, clearly frustrated and unable to come up with the right words.
But Briar knew what he wanted. “You want us to talk about meaningful things,” she said, giving him the words he lacked.
“Yes,” he said, the word almost an explosion out of his mouth.
“You’ll give me room to think about things before I talk about them,” she said. “But you don’t want me to ignore you and never circle back to talk about them.”
“Yes,” he whispered. “So you just said you were tired, but when I asked you what that meant, you shut down.” He brought her closer and tucked her hair again. Briar found him to be so gentle and yet so stern too.
“And I want to know what you meant, but I can be patient while you figure out the right words to use to tell me. But in the end, I want you to tell me, whether that’s today, or tomorrow, or in a couple of weeks or months.” He ducked his head until she met his gaze. “Okay?”
She nodded, her emotions already wavering so close to the surface. Why, she had no idea. Something about Tarr simply undid all of Briar’s defenses, and he’d been wearing her down for almost a year.
That was why she was tired.
She was tired of fighting him off. Pushing him back out whenever he somehow got inside her life. Rebuilding the walls around her cabin, her dog, her heart.
He was why she was so tired.
“Okay, Tarr,” she whispered.
“Okay.” He moved out of the way but kept his hand on the small of her back as she climbed up on the runner of his truck. “I like your boots, Briar.”
“Thank you,” she said again, dropping into her seat.
Tarr closed her door, then joined her in the cab of the truck. Feeling like someone had invaded her body, Briar reached across the console to take his hand in hers. He sucked in a breath, but Briar ignored it.
His low chuckle threatened to turn into a full laugh, but then he said, “Yeah, I think you like me too. You’re just not sayin’ it with words quite yet.”
Briar ducked her head, her face burning as she untucked her hair so it would fall between them, effectively hiding the blush as it continued to bloom through her body.
Tarr let her stay quiet as he backed out of her driveway and rumbled down the dirt road to the highway. Briar breathed in and out, trying to come up with what to tell him. Her mind seemed to splinter in one direction in one moment, and then crack back the other way in the next.
As his blinker clicked through the cab, the pop songs Tarr loved so much in the background, Briar finally looked away from her side window and over to him.
“I’m going to get the special,” she said. “Online, Yolks Up said they’re doing a pumpkin spice pancake stack, with white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts.”
“That sounds like it’s totally up your alley,” Tarr said with a smile.
“It comes with maple-pecan syrup, and I’m going to get so many sides of bacon, I hope you brought your platinum card.” A true smile came to her face then, and when Tarr looked over to her, she actually laughed.
Tarr joined her, chuckling as he said, “You can have as much bacon as you want, sweetheart.”
And she knew he could pay for it, because Tarr had been a champion in the rodeo for years. “Are you sure? Bacon is at a premium price these days.”
He shook his head, clearly able to take her teasing. He squeezed her hand and said the best words on the planet: “You can have anything you want, honey.”
Briar believed him, and she believed he’d do whatever he had to do to give her whatever she wanted. She’d seen him show up, day after day, even when she screamed at him to get out of her house and never come back.
He came back.
Every day, he came back.
He’d made sure she took her meds and got to her doctor’s appointments. He’d fed her, and tucked her into bed, and held her when she felt so much pain, she’d cried and begged God to simply take her home to Him.
He’d never left her side, not once, since the coyote attack, and Briar cleared her throat, the words she needed to say about to vomit out of her throat.