Chapter 24 Sofia
SOFIA
Iwoke up alone.
After that intense scene in the bed last night, with Andre so savage as to make me come and push my limits with that kinky stuff I was still warming up to and learning how to handle, he’d left me to sleep solo.
No.
That wasn’t true.
I woke in the middle of the night, and he was still there in bed then. He was asleep, but not spooning me like usual. That was an indication that something was shifting between us. His angry question was the catalyst for this rift I couldn’t forget.
He wasn’t in bed this morning.
As I lay there and wiped away the sleep from my eyes, I knew he wasn’t gone.
He wouldn’t be with what he had asked me and how I’d hedged answering.
I must have fallen asleep and passed out after he’d come.
Knowing him, though, he would follow up and ask me again if I was spying.
That was the thorough man and devoted soldier to the Orlov family that he was.
I can’t stay.
Stomaching the agony of knowing he suspected me of anything was too horrible to bear.
I hadn’t done anything to hurt him. My loyalties had only ever partly fallen to Uncle Roberto to the extent that I’d play along just as much as it would take for him to put a roof over Esmeralda’s head.
That was the bare minimum he’d stuck with. And now, I was done with him jerking me around, using my compassion and goodwill as leverage.
I’m out of here. I hated the heartache with the thought, not wanting to lose Andre or these friendships I was forming.
And you’ll be out of there too, E. It wouldn’t be easy to get my cousin out of Uncle Roberto’s house, but I was determined to try.
Today is the day.
I’d leave Andre and spare him the hatred he’d feel for me. I wouldn’t make him look at me and know I’d betrayed him. I cared too much for him to endure that.
Today has to be the day.
The longer I let Esmeralda stay in that basement and suffer, I was failing her, too.
Before I could figure out a diversion, a lie to get my uncle and his most loyal soldiers out of the house for as much time as it would take to get her away, I had to handle this again.
“Ugh.”
Nausea erupted in my stomach. It didn’t merely unsettle me. It forced an instant panic.
“Not again…” I moaned.
My mouth felt funny. Thick saliva sat on my tongue. A roiling need to vomit gripped me.
“No, no, no.”
Yesterday, I made it to the toilet in time to empty my stomach.
The day before, I’d caused a mess all over the bathroom floor, thankful Andre wasn’t there to witness it.
Today…
I cringed, covering my mouth with my hand as I flung the covers off. I was still naked from last night. Only the bite marks and other signs of Andre fucking me so good showed on my skin as I sprinted to the bathroom.
This time, I made it as well. I reached the basin and clung to it as I lost the contents of my stomach. My already mostly empty stomach. I hadn’t eaten much last night because this funky stomach bug was impacting my appetite as well.
“Ugh…” I clung to the toilet and closed my eyes, breathing through the ache and muscle cramp of vomiting so harshly. Heaving was a workout.
Thinking back to what I had eaten last night and when this stomach bug started, a prickling sense of reality smacked me.
“Wait.” I whispered it to myself.
I hadn’t lost all of my appetite. I’d devoured that cheesecake that Renee hadn’t wanted.
Not one slice, but two. I’d even sprinkled parmesan cheese on it.
The salad I’d made for lunch hadn’t appealed, but somehow, the tart cheesecake and the dry parmesan sounded good.
I’d shaken out some salt on it too, because I had a hankering for something salty.
“Oh, no.”
Could this be morning sickness?
Combined with weird cravings?
And those naps I’ve been taking in the afternoons. Those aren’t normal either. I only nap when I’m sick.
I opened my eyes wide as my heart raced. Feeling like a freight train was barreling at me, I did the mental math of when I’d last had my period.
Oh, my God.
Am I… pregnant?
I stood, trembling.
It added up. I was late, and Andre and I hadn’t used protection.
Before I could freak out any further, I showered and got dressed.
I’d noticed pregnancy tests in a storage closet in Natalie’s building.
She probably had one because she’d recently used one to find out that she had been expecting Rose.
I had to get one and take it. I had to know before I could let myself spiral with too many life-altering what-ifs.
I couldn’t ask for a pregnancy test, not from Andre when I was plotting to leave.
I couldn’t go out and buy one. Even though no one came out and said I had to stay here, it was implied.
Before now, I had no reason to go to a store or anywhere else, content to be Andre’s woman and stay here with him.
Not as a spy.
But his.
Yeah, that didn’t last long.
I swallowed hard and hurried to the other building. I surprised Natalie, showing up out of the blue, but I lied and said that Anya had mentioned I might be needed for help with Maisie.
“Oh, no. She’s fine.” Natalie rocked Rose, smiling down at her sleeping in her arms. “Sergei just left to check on something with Andre, and Maisie’s content to read for now. Thanks, though.”
“Oh, that’s good. I bet peaceful mornings are rare,” I joked.
She huffed good-naturedly. “Don’t jinx it.”
“Hey, can I use the restroom? I think I drank too much coffee and it’s just running through me.” I winced to look apologetic.
“Oh, sure, sure.” She sighed and let me in. “I know they say one cup of coffee isn’t too dangerous while breastfeeding, but I sorely miss caffeine.”
I don’t. That was another clue I’d missed. The aroma of coffee, usually something that I loved, turned my stomach and stank now. I couldn’t force myself to drink my coffee yesterday.
I grabbed a test and hurried back to Andre’s building to take it.
And sure enough, my fate showed up as a pair of pink lines.
Positive.
“Oh, shit.” I licked my lips and tried not to cry.
In fear.
In joy.
In terror and panic and shock and awe.
So many emotions mixed together, and I couldn’t begin to know which one should be at the top of the list.
Shock.
Definitely shock.
I was beyond surprised that this could be happening now.
That I’d be pregnant with Andre Orlov’s baby. My uncle’s rival.
The one man I wanted to belong with and love and start a solid future with. But also the one man I’d never be able to fantasize about like that.
I’m pregnant.
The joy I wanted to embrace was eclipsed by fear as I sat on the bathroom floor and stared at the test stick. As if zoning out and watching it would make the results change.
Terror took over me, because while I wanted to bask in the marvel that I would be a mother and that I could have the gift of a sweet child of my own to love and raise the best I could, it felt like I was in charge of a ticking time bomb.
This secret wouldn’t be good news. Not for Uncle Roberto or anyone from the Giovanni family. Not for Andre or anyone in the Orlov organization.
Both families would see this union and the result of it as a curse. A betrayal of the highest regard.
Placing my hand on my stomach, I closed my eyes and willed myself to be strong.
I can do this.
I will do this.
I’d woken up and known I had to flee and run from Andre’s suspicions, but now, I had to escape before anyone could know that I was carrying his child. I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t know how I’d do this and also get my cousin to safety. But I would. I had to.
Pushing off the floor, I began to plan.
Get some food, whatever I can manage to keep down.
Pack some non-perishables.
Look up some women’s shelters in the city before I leave because who knows when I’ll have access to Wi-Fi again.
Get my clothes and go before Andre is back from wherever he went with Sergei.
I can make something up and lie to the guards about why I need to get out of the house. I’m not a hostage here, not like under Uncle Roberto at his house.
Hurrying to my previous maid’s room, I grabbed the bag that I’d arrived here with. Food could wait. Breakfast wasn’t ideal with how queasy I felt, but maybe if I sipped some water and stayed moving, I could eat something light before going.
The burner phone was under the large duffle bag I’d put up on a shelf in the closet, and I grabbed that too.
A series of messages had been sent to me from Uncle Roberto as of yesterday morning.
“Fuck you,” I whispered, deleting them all. Each one was the same, a pushy nag to get him something he could use against the Orlovs. It seemed like he was determined to burn up my phone until the afternoon. That was when the texts stopped.
I rolled my eyes and shoved the phone into the bag, along with the clothing I had in here. I was wearing something newer and nicer that Andre had gifted me, but it seemed wrong to take his presents when I was leaving like this, with how I had been sent here in the first place.
Carrying my bag, I hurried out of the room and headed toward Andre’s again, to get my things.
Toothbrush, toothpaste, my lotion. Deo—
I stopped short. Not looking up and seeing where I was going, I nearly collided with Oleg. Gasping in surprise, and damning my lack of attention to my surroundings, I looked up at the gruff, older man.
“Oh! Sorry.” I wanted to wince at how easily my apology came out of my lips. It was ingrained in me from my uncle and the Giovanni men that it was always my fault. It was always my wrong, and I wasn’t valuable enough to have someone else be in my way. I was the one in everyone else’s way.
Dwelling on the shitty treatment I’d gotten all my life, I blushed as I wrestled with embarrassment.
“In a rush somewhere?” he asked. His tone was dry as ever, but his curiosity bothered me.
“Oh. No. Just bringing some laundry over to do with the other things.” I cleared my throat, wishing I could be a more convincing liar. “Do you need me to do anything? Something I can help with?”
He shook his head, but his gaze lingered with skepticism.
I was prone to clumsiness at times. That shouldn’t have been so surprising and out of the norm to have him looking at me like this.
“Sorry I didn’t look where I was going,” I added as he passed me by.
“No worries,” he drawled as he moved down the hallway.
I cringed.
Shit.
Now he was acting weird. He was probably suspicious of me too. He already had been, if I was honest, never seeming to accept that I was with his boss.
I continued to pack, but as I passed the bouquet of flowers Andre had delivered to me a week ago, I gagged at the cloying smell of the petals. They were still fresh—enough—but the sickly sweet fragrance turned my stomach.
“Oh, God…” With my bag hanging over my shoulder, I grabbed the flowers and carried them toward the door off the kitchen.
I’d thrown away that other old flower delivery that had been sitting on a side table in the hallway toward the foyer.
It hadn’t looked that bad yet. Only a couple of lilies were wilting, and I hated to throw out anything Andre had so sweetly gotten for me, but the smell nearly made me puke yesterday.
I’d pitched it in the big trash can yesterday afternoon. As I lifted the lid, I held my breath to toss out this other bouquet.
“Is every smell going to bother me now that I’m pregnant?” I muttered to myself. That sounded like misery.
I closed the lid and paused to admire the soft summer breeze that carried through the utility area.
Pressing my hand to my flat belly, I sighed. “I can’t believe I am pregnant,” I admitted to myself, letting the secret float away with the wind.
It wasn’t so hard to believe, though. With how often he’d come inside me.
How many times we’d pursued each other physically.
In the heat of the moment, I never wanted to slow down and get protection.
The one time I asked if we should use a condom, Andre smirked and proceeded to fuck me with more force, as if the idea of knocking me up was a goal.
Yeah, right.
He would never be happy to know that his child is a Giovanni as well.
I shook my head, resolved to get out while I could and take this secret to the grave with me. No matter how much I’d miss him and regret having to lose the best thing in my life.
I don’t think this is quite what you meant when you said to live life to the fullest, E.
It was too late to have regrets, though. All I could do was carry on and try to take care of as many people as I could—without hurting them like I had Andre.