Chapter 10
10
VIKTOR
I do my best to avoid him, confusion melting into my bones and leaking into my chest. My heart can’t stand this. It doesn’t know what to do. Fifteen years of nothing, and now this.
I sneak glances at him as we work, standing several feet away to keep his hands off me. Because I know the minute he touches me, I’ll crawl. Beg.
I’ll pant like the slut I am. For him.
“Walk me inside,” he says lowly when I pull up to his house, the car idling quietly. My fingers are tight on the steering wheel, my eyes boring into his front door. I know what will happen if I go in there.
I know what this means.
My cock aches.
I fucking want it.
“Come on, Vik,” he adds as he steps outside onto the wet concrete of his driveway. The way he moves, lithe and predatory. I’m at his mercy. I can do nothing but turn off the car and follow him to the door. His fingers brush against my ass as I open it and step inside. He waits patiently as I clear the house before moving toward the exit to leave.
I really mean to. I mean to walk right through the door and not look back.
But he stops me with a flick of his fingers on the button of his slacks, a pull of his zipper. I hear it. It makes my skin tingle and my mouth water. His eyes meet mine, and I hear the wheeze come out of my throat, desperate and disgusting.
I fucking hate how much I’m drooling for this.
“It’s just a date, Vik. No need to be dramatic about it,” he says as he lowers himself onto a kitchen chair, his thighs spread, the dark golf course looming behind us through those large-paned sliding doors. Anyone could be watching this, seeing what he’s about to do to me.
He lifts his hips, pulling a cigarette from his pocket, and places it between his lips.
My fingers itch to pull the lighter from my pocket, but I curl my toes into my shoes and keep myself steady. I will not rush over to him. I won’t show him how badly I want this.
His eyes flash to mine and then his free hand snakes into his pants and pulls his cock out. It’s hard, angry, and fucking perfect. I let out a wobbly exhale, my throat swallowing around nothing.
“Come here, pretty boy.”
I inhale a shaky breath and nearly trip as I move forward. Luca sees it but says nothing, just watches as I come to a stop right before him. Our knees knock and his eyes slide up my chest.
“Take off your shirt. I want to see those tits,” he says lowly.
I shiver and tug my shirt off, tossing it onto the ground behind me.
Luca wets his lips, his eyes roving over my chest, his hand stroking his dick, making me swallow roughly.
“So fucking pretty,” he says around his unlit cigarette. My fingers move to the lighter and I pull it from my pocket and lean forward. His eyes never leave mine as he inhales.
Smoke billows around him, making him look so much hotter than he has any right to be. “Now your pants. I want to see that perfect ass while you suck my cock.”
“I’m not sucking it,” I manage to say, even though I’m already undoing my pants and kicking them off, leaving me only in tight lace panties. Off-white, sheer, completely see-through.
The corner of Luca’s lips turns up as he eyes me. “On your knees, Vik. You’ve avoided me all day.”
I turn my gaze to the right, looking out at the darkness outside when he reaches out and pulls me closer. My knees buckle and I fall to the floor, unable to hold it together any longer. My hands run up his thighs and tug his pants down further. Luca growls as he lifts his hips, and when his cock and balls are free, I moan, falling on them, choking myself, gagging, but I don’t let up. I’m fucking feral for it.
He doesn’t touch me, just lets me show him how much I want him, despite saying I don’t. He’s proving me wrong just by existing.
“Such a good boy,” he says, inhaling deeply, smoke filtering over me as he lets out a breath. I’m groaning loudly now, my cock leaking in my panties, my hole flexing around nothing. I want more. I want his fat cock in my ass. I want him to own me in every way.
“Such a slut for it. Listen to you moan.”
I grow louder because of it, his filthy words. The way he undoes me.
“That’s right. Make me come,” he growls again and then groans low when I take him into my throat and swallow. He shifts his hips up in short bursts, and I find myself delirious, my vision whiting out as I feel him start to shake. It rolls through him, his cock lurching inside of me.
Moments later, he’s unloading into my mouth, and I swallow all of it, gulping in deep breaths, trying to find my center once more.
It doesn’t work. He doesn’t give me time. He stubs out his cigarette and rights his pants, and then leans forward, wrenches my head up, and kisses me. Tongue, spit, and cum move from my mouth to his and he inhales it, making my mind spin with the force of the kiss.
Then it ends and I’m sinking back on my heels, panting as he watches me.
It’s a long, drawn-out moment filled with just the sounds of our breathing.
Finally, he says, “Come here.”
I can barely push myself up, my legs wobbling as I stand before him. His hands slide up the backs of my thighs, his fingers curling in the waistband of my underwear. Slowly, he drags the lace down, my cock arching toward his face.
It’s too erotic, him being so close to me. I almost collapse.
“Look at it, so fucking wet,” he whispers, his tongue peeking out and running across his top lip. My hands land on his shoulders to keep myself steady. I can’t fucking move.
His fingers dig into the globes of my ass as his lips brush over the tip of me, and I feel my legs start to tremble, my mouth making the most obscene sound on the planet. I should be catapulted into outer space for this. It’s embarrassing and wrong.
I can’t help it.
Luca chuckles and his tongue swipes out, licking my head and sweeping up the drop of precum sitting on the tip.
I gasp, my chin falling to my chest as I watch him, my entire body shaking with need.
He’s licking my dick, his tongue is on my cock .
I can’t breathe.
Those dark eyes meet mine and his mouth engulfs me. I cry out, my fingers digging into his shoulders as I try to hold my orgasm back. He’s not even taking much of me, just teasing me by sucking on the head, but it’s enough. The fact he’s even doing this has me moaning like the whore I am.
He pops off me and I wheeze, a deplorable sound.
“You taste like mine. ”
His mouth goes back onto me, and he pulls me in a little deeper. I can do nothing but watch, another inch of my cock disappearing into his mouth, sitting heavily on his tongue as he tortures me. He knows exactly what he’s doing, what this means.
He knows and keeps doing it.
I’m shaking now, my arms and legs, even my teeth are clattering in my head as I groan loudly. Luca’s finger moves past my taint to my crack and drags down it.
When he finds my hole and presses against it, I cry out, my cock twitching between my legs and unloading into his mouth. Luca doesn’t move, just holds me inside of him as I come, letting my release hit his tongue in waves until I’m slouched over, my legs weak, my eyelids fluttering in shock.
Luca pulls off me, holding my release in his mouth before leaning over and spitting it out in the palm of his hand, staring at it. I try to find words, to apologize for coming without warning, but he just meets my gaze, his eyes bright.
“Come to bed, Vik.”
He stands up, wiping his hand on the side of his pants before pulling me forward. I stumble, trying to remember how to walk when he just sucked all my abilities out of my dick. He huffs a small laugh and then turns around and picks me up. My legs wind around his back and I tuck my face into his neck.
He’s so strong, carrying me like I weigh nothing.
This is bad, so detrimental to me, my heart, my soul.
He sets me in bed, strips down to nothing, and crawls in next to me, his hand on my stomach, his leg over mine. His lips are right near my ear and I can hear him breathing. It’s gentle, calming, soothing.
After several long moments, his fingers drawing lines on my skin, he whispers, “Do you feel like mine now?”
I swallow and sink into him further, the answer coming out before I can stop it. It’s a lie, the worst kind .
It sounds like one. Everyone can hear it. Even God is shaking his head right now.
“No.”
He laughs lowly.
“Don’t worry, kitten. That will change with time.”
That one word ruined everything. Luca is even more infuriating now, always touching me, kissing me, making me crawl between his legs at night and suck him off before he touches me with his lips, his tongue, making me arch into him, making me beg.
I said no , and it’s made him more resolute, more determined.
I didn’t mean it, and he knows it.
He just wants me to admit it.
“Love the hickey on you,” Tatum says as he wiggles into a tight pair of pants and turns to the side, examining himself in the full-length mirror. It’s finally Saturday evening and we’re getting ready for a night at the renovated club. Well, Tatum is getting ready; I’m just sitting here watching.
I refuse to dress as if this is some kind of date.
That’s not what this is. No matter what Luca says.
Avoiding him and his stupid mouth and hands. The way those eyes glitter when he stares at me, the way he wets his lips as if he’s imagining devouring me whole. My cock is hard in my pants all the time. It’s in a perpetual state of this now. I’m fucking miserable.
“Shut up. It doesn’t mean anything,” I murmur, peeking at the bright purple spot just below my chin in the mirror. He did this last night, bit and sucked, grinding into me until I was coming loudly.
I need to stay away. I need to stop sleeping over at his place.
Jax is wondering where I am.
I can’t tell anyone. No one knows what is happening between us.
“Seems he wanted to make a point about who you belong to. Anthony does it too. I have a bite mark on my ass cheek from two days ago.”
Before I can respond to that, Bane appears through the secret door in the wall of the bedroom and bounces up to us, his hair in disarray, blood smeared across his cheek. He’s grinning maniacally and leans down to press a kiss to my lips, but I shove him away.
“Not with blood on your face, Bane,” I grumble, and he sighs.
“Fine. I can respect that.” He eyes me and pokes at my chest. “You look good, Viktor. Love all the black. Very mysterious and form-fitting. Luca is going to drool when he sees you. Maybe unbutton those top buttons.” He reaches out, trying to undo my shirt, but I swat his hand away. There are even more hickeys on my chest and I don’t need either of them seeing the array lining my collarbone and around my nipples.
“Someone is in a bad mood. Oh hello, Tatum. Love the tight pants. I can see your penis perfectly.”
“You can,” Tatum says, arching his hips forward, and Bane giggles.
“I would like pants that tight and a see-through shirt.”
“Didn’t you both go shopping for tonight?” I ask and Bane shakes his head before nodding.
“Well, yes, but no. I couldn’t find anything slutty enough and then I had to get back to work. I had a very busy project down below.”
“But I found one after a few hours of browsing. Just look at this,” Tatum says and then points to some clothes on the bed. “I know you wanted holes for the nipples, but I think the chest harness will be really hot on you.”
“Oh,” Bane gasps and then holds it up. “Help me put it on?”
“Sure, but first, shower. You have blood all over your face and who knows where else.”
Bane glances in the mirror and sighs. “The last one was very messy. Sorry. I’ll clean this up. ”
He moves to the bathroom, and Tatum sighs. “I wish Anthony wouldn’t murder people so much.”
“It needs to happen. Fear works better than communication,” I explain.
Tatum peers over at me as he pulls a crop top over his head. “Do you know who’s down there right now?”
“Nope. That’s Anthony’s business.”
He turns to look in the mirror and bats his eyelashes.
“Fair enough. I’m sure they deserve it. Whatever they did.” His eyes meet mine in the mirror. “Would you like to put on some eyeshadow? I have a color that would make your eyes pop.”
I stare at him. “No.”
“Luca would love it, I think.”
“Luca can fuck off.”
I don’t mean that. I don’t want him to fuck off. I want him to fuck me. But I won’t admit it. It’s been fifteen years of pining, of imagining what it would be like for him to own me, and now that I have him, I’m feeling… I’m feeling some kind of way about it.
I don’t trust that I’m not just a toy, something for him to play with because he’s bored.
I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know anything anymore.
“This love-hate thing you both have for each other is very hot,” Tatum says and then waggles his eyebrows at me.
“It’s not love. It’s hate. Pure and simple.”
“Even better,” he replies with a grin. He continues getting ready and then pouts so prettily at me that I cave, letting him apply some smokey eyeshadow on my eyelids and some pink gloss on my lips. By the time I’m done getting a mini-makeover, Bane strides out of the bathroom completely naked.
I blink at him and then squeeze my eyes shut.
I’ve never seen him nude before. His skin is almost blindingly bright white and there are scars on his arms and legs, some deep and long, others just short and surface-level. I’m not sure if those are self-inflicted or a hazard of the job.
“I’m ready to be fabulous,” he says, striding over to us. “I’ve decided to take after you, Viktor, and get some lace panties.”
He holds them up and steps into them, almost toppling over as he wiggles them over his damp skin.
They’re a dark blood-red and he turns this way and that, staring at himself in the mirror.
He has a nice ass, I’ll give him that.
“Snap a few pics. I’m going to send this to Georgiy.”
“Hasn’t he been ignoring you since you came home from visiting Angel?” Tatum asks.
“Yes, well, he can’t ignore me forever. And I didn’t come home of my own free will. They shipped me home. In a box. It was very rude. Now get a good angle. I spent a lot of money on these panties.”
He arches his ass out and then hands Tatum his phone. As Tatum snaps pictures, I pull mine out and stare down at the screen.
Luca has messaged me a few times today and I’ve left him on read, not responding for a slew of reasons.
Mainly my pride.
The way I act when I’m around him. It’s insufferable, degrading, and totally who I am deep down.
He’s eating it up.
Luca:
Almost ready for tonight?
I can’t wait to see which slut panties you’re wearing.
My perfect toy.
I scowl and, at the same time, bite my bottom lip, feeling those flutters through my stomach. It’s harmful to my mental health and yet, I won’t stop it.
“Oh, a toy,” Bane exclaims, looking over my shoulder, snooping. “Is that what you are? How exciting.”
I shut my phone off and glower at him. “Shut up, Bane. ”
“I can’t do that. It’s too hard.”
His phone pings and he glances down at it gleefully. “Oh, it’s Georgiy. Oh, he’s not happy with me. I think that’s what this message means.”
He wiggles around and bounces on his feet.
“What did he say?” Tatum asks, peering over his shoulder. The two of them are silent as they read and then squeal.
“Do you really think he’ll get on a plane?” Tatum asks.
“I hope so. I have been a very bad boy.”
They grin at each other and I take my leave. The two of them can get ready together without me. I’m done anyway.
As I make my way down the stairs, I wander around, not looking for Luca—really I wasn’t—but finding him in Anthony’s office. The two are sitting at his desk, feet kicked up, drinking whiskey from crystal tumblers. When I stand in the doorway, Luca’s eyes move to me and stay there. I can’t move. The way he looks at me is so predatory and sensual, I start to melt from the force of it. I think my feet have disappeared into the floor.
“There you are, pretty boy. Come here,” he says softly, and I huff as my cock hardens in my pants. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s been hard this whole time. Now it’s just throbbing.
Anthony chuckles as I make my way over to Luca, my eyes following the slant of his jaw, the way his Adam’s apple bobs, the tattoos peeking up over the top of his shirt.
He looks hot and he knows it.
He places his legs on the ground and points to his lap. “Sit that ass right here.”
I peer over at Anthony, who is grinning from behind his glass of whiskey. Fuck him too , I think as I huff and lower myself onto Luca’s lap. I want him to know I hate this. This is terrible and awful.
All the bad things.
It all goes ignored on his end. His hands wind around my stomach, pulling me closer to him, his face tucking into my neck and his teeth gently sinking into my skin .
“Isn’t he pretty, Anthony?” he asks, and Anthony, thankfully, says nothing.
I couldn’t cope with the embarrassment of my boss— and honestly, a man more like a father than anything—answering.
Luca growls low under his breath and then whispers in my ear. “You put on makeup for me.”
“I didn’t,” I murmur. “Tatum held me down and non-consensually applied it.”
“I like it.”
I huff and feel my cheeks heating.
“Don’t get used to it,” I add, and he chuckles but doesn’t respond.
Fine. Good riddance.
“So, how is Luca treating you?” Anthony asks, his eyes sparkling.
I huff and roll my eyes. “Terribly.”
Anthony arches an eyebrow. “Is he really? Because you know I said I’d protect you.”
“He doesn’t need protecting from me,” Luca huffs.
“You know you can come to me, Viktor,” Anthony continues, ignoring Luca entirely. “I know what a shit Luca can be.”
My heart swells at this, my eyes stinging. He said something similar when he took me in all those years ago.
I’m here for you. I’m on your side.
“I’ll let you know.”
“Just so you know, I am treating him exactly the way he wants to be treated.”
My cheeks flame as his fingers slip under my shirt slightly, toying with my skin.
“I’d rather not hear the sordid details.”
“I’m not giving them. Just that he’s well-looked-after. The romance isn’t dead after all.”
“What romance?” I ask, eyeing him over my shoulder. “There’s nothing romantic about this. ”
Luca makes a face, his fingers pinching my skin. “I give you flowers.”
“One flower. Once a year.”
“It’s more than I’ve ever given anyone before.”
Anthony huffs a small laugh behind the desk. “That’s true. Laura always wanted them and he refused. Count your blessings, Viktor. One flower is one more than anyone else received.”
My eyes lower to the ground, to the intricately woven pattern by my feet.
“And we have a date, don’t forget, kitten.”
“It’s not a date.”
“It is.”
Before our banter can continue, Tatum and Bane make an appearance, Teddy in tow. Anthony’s gaze drifts over to his man and his lips turn up at the corners.
I’ve never seen him this happy before.
I’m fucking glad he has Tatum.
“So, what do you think?” Tatum asks, turning around and showing Anthony his ass. He wiggles it slightly, and Anthony arches an eyebrow.
Bane slaps it roughly and unexpectedly, my eyebrows rising when Anthony glowers at him.
“Sorry, got excited,” Bane murmurs, looking sheepish. “Please don’t cut off my hands. I need them for my job and for my penis.”
“No one is cutting off anything. Anthony is fine. Aren’t you? Are we all ready to go?” Tatum asks, and Anthony nods, standing up. He finishes his drink and sets it on the table, pulling Tatum into his chest and kissing the top of his head.
“Are you sure security is tight?” Anthony asks Luca.
“I’m positive.”
Luca’s hands tighten on me a moment before he lets me go, and we meander out into the foyer. Shoes and jackets are put on before a few other guards join us, Jax being one of them .
He sees me standing there and his eyebrows meet his hairline in surprise.
He didn’t expect me to be all dolled up.
I wish I’d never let Tatum convince me to do this.
No, he didn’t convince me. It was non-consensual makeup.
Luca’s hand lands on the back of my neck, and I lean into his touch a moment before pulling away.
I need to focus, maintain my composure, and I can’t do that when he’s touching me.
We all pile into the SUVs, Jax and Teddy with Tatum and Anthony, while I drive Bane and Luca to the club. As I navigate the highways, Bane sits in the middle seat in the middle row, his body tilted forward, chattering nonstop.
“So, I am very excited about the club tonight. I haven’t had my dancing shoes on in ages.”
“Since when have you ever danced?”
“I watch videos and practice. The people in the basement think I’m very good.”
“They only say that because you’re about to murder them,” I reply, and Bane gasps.
“No! I’m very good. They wouldn’t lie.”
Luca huffs a laugh and reaches over, touching my thigh. He leaves his hand there, his thumb stroking absently back and forth, driving me wild.
“You know who also said I was a good dancer? Henry, the little shit. He gave me pointers and everything.”
His bottom lip juts out, his fingers digging into the leather of the middle console.
“He had very good moves. In bed and out.”
“Should you be thinking of him now?” Luca asks. “It could ruin your night.”
“I want to think of him. Because if I see him tonight, I will have the anger of a thousand suns. I will incinerate him. ”
“What was so good about Henry, anyway?” I ask, and Luca squeezes my thigh.
“Should we really be doing this?” he asks lowly.
“He started it.”
Bane is murmuring to himself, his nails digging deeper into the console, carving out little white lines as he goes.
“He was fun and sexy and good in bed. That’s all. I didn’t like him that much.”
“We should change the subject,” Luca says, grabbing onto Bane’s hand and pulling it off the leather. Bane slots his hand in Luca’s and holds on, sighing happily.
“Don’t be jealous,” Bane says after a moment. “Holding hands with Luca isn’t a big deal.”
“I’m not jealous. I don’t care.”
“You care,” Luca replies, and I roll my eyes. Because I do. He’s never done this with me. Irrational and annoying jealousy surges through me. The sheer number of times younger me had wished he’d do this to me, the dopey daydreams I’d had while watching him.
But I don’t want him to hold my hand. I really don’t.
When I finally park and step out onto the wet pavement, Luca strides over to me and the hand that was clasping Bane’s slips into mine.
I don’t like this at all. I hate it so much that my fingers tighten around his and my heart pitter-patters.
“Don’t worry, kitten. I know what you want. I can be romantic.”
His thumb smooths over the back of my hand and I purse my lips, forcing myself not to smile. Because it is romantic.
“Wow, that line is insane,” Tatum gasps, eyeing the queue that is nearly wrapped around the building.
“It’s a good opening night,” Anthony says and then glances over at Luca. “Well done.”
“You know me and my investments. I don’t fuck around,” Luca replies. “It seems people missed this place. Which is good for our pockets. ”
“Very good,” Anthony says with a sly grin. The drugs that are handed out tonight are from Anthony, so I know he’s making a profit as well. Not that he’d say that out loud, but it’s how the two of them operate as partners. Luca manages the businesses and Anthony makes sure the customers are plied with designer drugs.
As we walk up to the bouncers guarding the entrance, they nod at us, letting us in seamlessly. We hear jeers from the line wrapping around the building, but they go ignored.
And I don’t notice much at all because Luca doesn’t let go of my hand as we walk through the crowd of people toward the VIP lounge. My eyes move up and I see naked dancers on small platforms above the dance floor. Servers float around the space, wearing sheer lingerie and exaggerated makeup, offering people drinks and other things.
Illegal things.
My mouth waters. Perhaps I should take something to help me get through the night. If Luca keeps holding my hand like this, I may need something to help me relax.
“This is amazing. Even better than before,” Tatum says and then nudges me. “Right, Viktor?”
I don’t want to think about last time. When Anthony found out I had driven Tatum here, he almost executed me. And then Luca got caught in a fire, and I had to save his ass. Again.
He’d been so comatose during the rescue that I punched his face to snap him out of it. It worked.
Perhaps I should have done the same thing the other night when he accidentally set the rug on fire. But I wouldn’t have. Things are so different than they were. The night of the warehouse fire, dragging him from the flames, I’d punched him out of anger and fear.
The fear of never seeing him again.
It was enough to have me cocking my fist back and planting it right on his eye.
Luca’s hand slips from mine, and I watch as he moves toward Alina, that beautiful woman from before. I can’t even dislike her. She’s so nice. She smiles at him widely, and he leans forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Something ugly rears its head as my stomach clenches. I know what this is. I’ve felt it a thousand times before.
As Alina and Luca chat, her eyes flash to mine. She smiles softly at me, obviously reading the jealousy on my face before striding over and pulling me into a long hug.
“Hello there.”
I offer her a small sheepish nod, my cheeks stained red as she pulls away and moves back to Luca, whispering something in his ear.
I hate how close she is to him. Hate that they may have been a thing once upon a time. Not that I’ll ever know. I don’t want to. Not really. I’m sure Luca’s past is riddled with beautiful women, and I don’t need to be reminded that I’m not one.
When we all arrive at the VIP section, the bouncers let us in without a word. As we walk up the steps, we see Sabrina is already here, a drink in her hand.
“You made it,” she says with a grin, her painted lips looking flawless in the dim light.
“How’s everything going?” Luca asks.
“Everything is going very well. My girls and boys have been very busy .”
“Good to hear that,” Luca replies as Alina slips her arm through Luca’s.
“And who is this?” Alina asks, interest in her eyes.
“Sabrina Nightingale. A friend of ours. Sabrina, this is Alina.”
“Nice to meet you,” she greets, her eyes twinkling.
As the two of them begin speaking with Sabrina, Tatum and Bane move toward the bar with Teddy and Jax in tow. This leaves me with Anthony, who is eyeing me curiously.
“Alright, Viktor. I think this calls for a drink,” he says, and I purse my lips. I shouldn’t drink. Not around Luca, but I also need it.
Like I said earlier, I need something to help me relax. I’m in knots .
Anthony must read this on my face because he disappears and returns with two filled shot glasses.
“Vodka,” he says and then throws it back. I do the same, swallowing down the high-shelf liquid without any trouble.
When our eyes meet, Anthony nods toward a standing table in the corner of the room. Everyone else is preoccupied with other things and so I follow him.
I don’t know what he wants from me, but he is my boss and the man I look up to in so many ways. His hands fold on the table before us, and I stare down at them.
“Remember when you were eighteen and you stole liquor from my locked cabinet?”
I snort a laugh. “It wasn’t that good of a lock.”
“It was meant to keep kids out.”
“Well, it didn’t keep me out.”
“And you suffered for it. Doc lost several nights’ sleep watching over you, as did I.”
I huff and look at him. “You didn’t need to do that.”
“I know, but you were a favorite. I didn’t want you to die.”
My chest constricts at that. I’ve always known he had a soft spot for me, but we never talk about it. Never utter the words. Perhaps his being with Tatum is changing something in him, making him more vulnerable.
I’m not sure that’s a good thing in this business.
“But really, Viktor, how are things?” he asks, his brows set in concern.
My gaze flicks up to him, and he cocks his head. He’s been like a father to me in so many ways, but this is still the mob, and I have my place.
I don’t have these kinds of conversations with him often.
“Fine.”
“And with Luca?”
I huff and glance away.
“You’ve had a crush on him for years. ”
“I have not.”
He chuckles, and a moment later our shot glasses are refilled. “You have. I saw the way you’d watch him. You were enamored.”
I need that shot now. I gulp it down and run the back of my hand over my mouth. My gaze turns toward Luca, who is still chatting with Sabrina and Alina.
The three of them get on well.
The thought sours my stomach.
“Leave the bottle,” Anthony calls to the server, and a moment later, the vodka sits between us like a monument.
Anthony refills my glass, and I let my finger trace the rim.
“I might have been infatuated when I was younger, but I realize now that I don’t know anything about him,” I finally admit. “It’s hard to know him.”
“It is. He doesn’t open up to many. He’s had a rough life.”
“So have we.”
Anthony nods and meets my gaze. “Can I tell you something?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer. “I haven’t seen him this content since Laura. You’re important to him.”
“I’m nothing more than a piece in some game he’s got going.”
“You’re more than that. I can see it in his eyes.” He pauses and then runs a thumb over his bottom lip. “Do you know how Luca and I met?”
The question is so surprising that I just blink at him. “No.”
“We met when he was eighteen and I was a couple of years older. At university. We were inseparable.”
“I didn’t know he went to college,” I say, and Anthony chuckles.
“We both did. Business majors. We learned enough to keep these various businesses we have running successfully. Luca went on for his MBA.”
“Fuck, don’t make me impressed with him,” I mumble.
“He is impressive. He’s been a formative part of my life and business. He’s saved my life more times than I can count. He was there with me when the boys were born and when Laura died. I know this man I cherish is letting you in. Do not hurt him, Viktor. He’s fragile.”
I snort at that, and Anthony points to my still-full shot glass.
“He is. When I met him, he put on a front that he was strong and indestructible, but deep down he’s still that traumatized little boy. Did he tell you what happened to him, to his family?”
I swallow the liquid and nod. “I know about the fire, about the murders.”
“Well, then you know you and him have similar pasts, different traumas, but trauma all the same. I think you two can help one another heal.”
“Mine is nothing like his. You know it.”
“I know, but it’s just as bad. Different, but the same.”
I wince and feel dread well up inside of me. It happens whenever I think about it for too long. The things that happened to me when I was younger, the abuse, the beatings. I would say no, beg for it to end, but it only ended in harder beatings.
It was better to stay silent and just take it. To get it over with as fast as possible.
“What happened to him after the fire?” I ask, wanting to divert this conversation back to Luca. Anthony seems chatty tonight and I want to ply him for any and all information I can.
I don’t know if Luca would tell me this on his own.
“He was sent to live with his aunt and uncle out in the Midwest. It was secluded and quiet. He was able to heal there, to find his way back to the living. Not all the way, but some of it.”
“And he told you all of this?”
“Yes. And some of it came from Laura. He told her too. We shared…a lot.”
I watch Anthony as he sighs and pours us both another drink.
“He loved her, cared for her in many ways that I couldn’t. When she died, he was devastated.”
I can’t even imagine losing someone you love. I’ve never loved anyone in my entire life. Anthony is the closest person on Earth who ever deserved it.
“It’s amazing what a good partner can do to heal someone broken.”
“I’m not healing anyone.”
“It’s a lot to ask, but I can see it in his eyes. He’s happy when you’re around. And that, in itself, heals many wounds.”
The two of us turn at the same time and find Luca watching us with narrowed eyes. He has to know we’re discussing him. He must see it on my face because he stands up and moves toward me, the room spinning as he approaches. I don’t know if this is the alcohol or just him.
He does things to me, terrible things.
“What are you talking about all alone over here?” he asks, eyeing Anthony and then me.
I roll my lips between my teeth and refuse to say a thing.
“I was telling him all about you,” Anthony replies, and Luca glowers at him.
“Those aren’t your secrets to tell.”
“They aren’t, but I did it anyway.”
Luca’s jaw clicks and his gaze moves over to me.
“What did he tell you?”
“Nothing much,” I manage to say before he pushes into my space, his nose hitting mine, his fingers cupping the back of my neck. I shiver against him and arch into his touch, the alcohol making me sway into him.
“How much have you had to drink? We just got here.”
“You were ignoring me.”
Luca’s grip tightens on me, and I whimper.
“I was conducting business.”
“You said this was a date.”
His eyes bore into mine and his lips curl up. “You said no. You told me it wasn’t and now it is? ”
I don’t reply to that, just twist my hands into his shirt and hold onto him tightly.
“It doesn’t matter,” I mumble.
“It does. Anthony told you things about me. Now I want something in return.”
His lips slant over mine, his tongue plunging into my mouth, making me moan before drawing back.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“I want you to act like you’re mine. The entire night.”
I stare up at him, still tasting him on my tongue.
“I can’t do that.”
His hands slide down and grab my ass. “You can and you will.”
I glower at him, knowing I won’t win this, so I give in. Just for tonight, I give in.