Chapter 17
17
LUCA
I fuck him while he’s still asleep, sliding my cock into his lubed hole and listening as he wakes with a moan.
“Yes,” he groans, his tight hole enveloping my cock.
I remember that first night three years ago. The way he felt against me, smelling like soap, like something entirely him. I couldn’t help myself then. I gave in.
And here I am. Giving in again.
Viktor’s back is to my chest, his ass to my groin. Before he fell asleep, I worked more lube into him as he sighed, knowing this was the end goal. That I was going to fuck him until he couldn’t move without thinking of me.
“Oh god, so good,” he moans as he arches his hips back, meeting my forward thrusts.
The way he engulfs me, the easy way he takes me.
My little slut.
I knew it that night and I know it now. Only this time, I have him. He’s not fighting it.
My hand reaches around and shuttles up and down his cock as I slowly fuck into him, feeling the clench of his ass against me, the way he sighs and murmurs incoherently as I drag him closer and closer to the edge.
“Tell me how much you love it,” I whisper into his ear, his hand moving behind him to grab at my hair. “Tell me how much you need it.”
“Love it. Need it. Love. Love,” his words slur as I continue to bring him toward the edge.
And then I stop, holding myself into him, squeezing the base of his dick and making him whine.
“Not yet, baby. Not fucking yet.”
He whimpers, and I drag my teeth across his neck, waiting until he’s writhing back against me, making me grunt. It’s only then that I start to tunnel back into him. It’s slow and torturous, the two of us panting by the time I finally let us both fall over the edge.
He burrows his head into the pillow and almost sobs, my fingers moving back into his hole and once more pushing my cum back into him.
We’re messes, completely and utterly wrecked. But then I knew that would happen the minute I gave in. It’s why I resisted it for so many years.
“I’m not done with you,” I tell him, and he gasps as I continue to play with him, toying with him until I’m hard again. I push inside, fucking him from behind, his body sprawled out flat on the bed as I use him, alternating between slow and fast, between urgent and drawing it out.
By the time I find release for the third time tonight, I’m sure I won’t move again. Maybe I am too old, maybe my stamina isn’t up to his needs.
My eyes close, and Viktor snuggles up against me, wrapping himself around me.
“I’m not done with you,” he whispers as my mind moves into a dream state .
He’s right.
He’s not done with me.
I didn’t think he would be, not with his sex drive. Not with his need for me.
He begged just like he did that night, only this time he was unrestrained, open. He was hiding nothing.
My mind shuts down, and I sink into sleep, feeling relaxed for the first time in ages.
The flames lick at my skin and I curl in tighter, trying to escape them. I feel the sting of the spiders biting me, trying to kill me before the flames get me.
My mom said they’re poisonous. I bet I die from that first.
I hear a rattling and groan, and I unfurl, peering out of the crawlspace.
Viktor. He’s there, his face bloody, his hand outstretched.
I cry out, my fingernails scraping at the wooden confines, but I can’t get out. I’m trapped. I watch as the fire crawls toward him, enveloping him, taking him from me.
I let out a scream that matches his, my heart caving in on itself…
“Luca. Luca!” a deep voice says, breaking me from my nightmare.
I blink my eyes open, seeing Viktor’s beautiful face hovering over mine. My shaking hands move to his cheeks, holding him against me, feeling the warmth of his skin, the pulse in his neck.
“You’re okay. You’re fine,” he whispers, and I pull him toward me, his body falling on top of mine, my hands dragging down his back, feeling his steady inhale.
“I dreamt you were burning,” I choke out. “I dreamt I couldn’t get to you.”
“I’m here. I’m fine.”
A shuddering, humiliating breath escapes me. I shouldn’t have told him that, but I did. He had to know.
We’re more than we were .
“Fuck.”
He lets me hold him until my heart rate evens out and my breathing steadies. That’s when Vik says it.
“I know you hid. But I did too.”
His words hit my skin, sinking into my chest.
“There was a small cubby under my bed. I’d crawl in there and wait everything out. My mom was high so much that she never found me, never figured it out. It was my safe space. I heard so many things happen when I was in there. The beatings my mom took…but all I could think was, at least it wasn’t me.”
I don’t say anything.
“It was okay to hide, Luca. I know you probably feel guilty. That you should have fought harder, but we were just kids. We did what we had to, to survive.”
I don’t respond, just let him comfort me with his words.
“I know you’re probably against it, but maybe…maybe we should try to attend a trauma group. I know of one near us. Anthony told me about it, tried to get me to go, but I fought it.”
He leans up and his eyes meet mine.
“A fucking trauma group?”
“Yeah,” he says with a small smile, his fingers tracking the stubble on my cheeks. “Maybe we should get some help.”
I huff, looking away, but he brings my gaze back to him.
“We can do it together.”
“Maybe,” I reply, not committing to anything. But maybe he’s not wrong. Maybe I need to fucking process what happened to get past it, or at least live with it in a more manageable way. Viktor has proven himself right most of the time. Perhaps he’s not wrong about this either.
“Okay, good. We can think about it. We don’t need to commit.”
He kisses me gently, and my chest swells, my hands clutching onto him. I need him at this moment, more than I care to admit.
Perhaps in every moment, actually.
Our kiss deepens and our cocks thicken. I want him more than I thought possible. No, I knew it was possible. It’s why I held off for so long. And he seems to understand what I need. In such a short time, he’s figured me out. Or perhaps he’s always known me. The way he used to watch me and study me when he was younger. Perhaps I should give him more credit.
“Can I fuck you?” he asks. “Can I take your mind off of the flames for a while?”
“Yes.”
His body rises and his palm presses against my chest, my dick sliding against his slippery crack. I feel the moment my dick notches at his hole and he slides down, taking me easily, as if he was made for this. For me.
Who am I kidding? He was. He was created for this.
“ Viktor ,” I moan as he rides me, looking beautiful above me, his head thrown back, his fingers curling into my skin, making everything zing with pleasure. I’m alight. Everything centers around him, my focus on the way he moves, the way he sounds.
He’s perfect. Everything about him. The broken, cracked parts of him, the pieces fitting seamlessly into all of mine.
He falls on top of me, our bodies satiated, completely at peace. The flames have receded, the smoke evaporated. He’s here with me, his strong heartbeat, the warmth of his skin. In a way, he heals a fragile part of me, holding it together in his hands.
With a fist, he could reduce me to rubble.
My eyes close as I inhale him.
I don’t sleep, just lie there, drifting in and out, my mind moving from the past to the present, and more importantly, to the future.