Chapter 36
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THE REQUIEM | Past
The next time I wake, sunlight is spilling across the bedroom in warm golden ribbons. For a few moments, I lie there, staring at the ceiling.
There are no whispers, blood, or women standing in the corner.
The silence feels almost unnatural after the chaos of last night.
My head throbs dully behind my eyes. I turn my head. Zagreus is sitting in the armchair beside the bed. Still in yesterday’s clothes as his grey eyes lift at my movement.
My stomach twists. God. How long has he been sitting there?
“Good morning,” I say softly.
“Is it?”
I sigh.
There it is. The interrogation.
I push myself upright against the pillows. “I’m fine.”
The look he gives me says he doesn’t believe a single word.
“Fine?” he repeats.
“Yes.”
“Selene.”
I roll my eyes. “Zagreus.”
“You were standing on a window ledge twelve hours ago.”
“I know.”
“You were screaming about a dead woman.”
“I know.”
“You nearly fell.”
“I know.”
His jaw flexes, and I reach for his hand. His fingers immediately close around mine.
“You’re overreacting,” I whisper.
His stare sharpens. “Am I now?”
“Yes.” I suppress a groan. “I was half asleep.”
“You were screaming.”
“I was having a nightmare.”
“You were awake.”
I throw my head back against the headboard. “Fine. Maybe I was overtired.”
His eyes narrow. “Maybe?”
“Zagreus, I hate the dark and you know it. I had countless nightmares when I was a child, you were there always.”
“You’ve lived here for months.”
“And I still hate it.”
“You’ve slept in that study dozens of times.”
“Not alone.” The answer slips out before I can stop it. His expression changes immediately, and I look down at the pink star-diamond ring on my ring finger.
“I can’t sleep alone.” The admission feels pathetic, but it is true. Someone is there constantly; I feel like I am going insane. There are voices I can’t recognize, and sometimes, I don’t even know what’s real or not.
I squeeze his hand. “Can we go somewhere?”
His expression sharpens with interest, and there’s tiredness in his beautiful eyes. “Go somewhere?”
“I feel like I’ll die in this house if I stay trapped inside these walls another day.”
He studies me for so long that I start regretting asking. “I already planned dinner.”
My head snaps up. “You did?”
“I was going to tell you.” A smile blooms despite everything.
“Really?”
“I assumed you’d be unconscious.”
I grin ignoring his statement. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere if you keep asking questions.”
My excitement must show, because a reluctant smirk touches his mouth. The sight is so rare it almost feels like a victory. “Go get dressed.”
I jump out of bed. “Don’t regret this, Vitale.”
“I already do.”
I stick my tongue out at him before he gets up, kisses my forehead, and disappears into the bathroom.
Zagreus says he needs to make a call. I smile at him, despite the bubbling nausea inside me. I try to pretend I am not seeing someone standing behind him; he looks skeptical but leaves the room to let me get ready.
I swallow, desperately opening the bedside drawer and grabbing the small white pill Mama had given me a few days back. It sits safely in my palm. Mama said the pills would help keep the nightmares away. I asked her if I could tell Zagreus, but she said he wouldn’t understand.
My fingers tremble as I swallow it dry.
Before I can think too hard about what I’m doing, or guilt can stop me, or Zagreus can find out. Because if he discovers I’ve been taking them… No. I don’t even want to imagine that conversation. The pill slides down my throat, and I close my eyes.
Just enough to stay normal. Because normal people don’t see dead women. Normal people don’t wake up standing on windowsills.
Normal people don’t lose pieces of time.
Right?
***
An hour later, I descend the staircase.
His eyes lock on me, and I pretend not to notice.
The butter-yellow lace dress hugs my figure before falling to my knees. The delicate sleeves leave my shoulders bare. And my hair tumbles freely down my back in soft waves.
For a moment he stares.
“Say it,” I tease as his gaze slowly travels over me.
“Beautiful.”
Heat rushes into my cheeks. “Thank you.”
“You’d look phenomenal without the dress though.”
I nearly choke. “You’re disgusting.”
“Accurate.”
“Pervert.”
His mouth twitches. “Also, accurate.”
I swat his arm, and he catches my wrist before I can pull away and presses a brief kiss against my knuckles. Something unexpectedly gentle. Something that makes my chest ache.
He leads me into his sedan, and we drive past the Cliffside.
After months of staying in here, I can finally breathe the fresh air. It feels like a reprieve. The coastline flashes past outside the window. For the first time all day, I almost relax.
“I checked the footage.” My body goes rigid, and I keep my eyes on the passing sea.
“Oh?”
“No one entered the study.” I nod.
“Told you.”
His gaze flicks toward me. “You seem remarkably certain.”
I force a laugh. “Because I told you I imagined it.”
“Did you?”
I hate how perceptive he is. The silence stretches before his voice drops. “How did you end up on the window ledge?”
My throat tightens.
The answer is sitting heavily in my chest. I don’t know. I genuinely don’t know. The last thing I remember is being near the door. Then I was standing above the sea. The missing moments leave a hollow pit in my stomach. I force a smile.
“Maybe I was sleepwalking.”
“Selene.”
“Look at that boat.” His jaw clenches.
“Don’t change the subject.”
“It’s a very nice boat.”
“Selene.”
“Can we talk about literally anything else?”
His stare lingers for a long time, but eventually he exhales. “You can take your time, but when the time comes, you will answer to me.”