18. Rowan
EIGHTEEN
ROWAN
Even after their clothes were righted and the flushes had faded from their cheeks, Rowan couldn’t let Lane go. He pulled him close, perching Lane on his lap, a hand resting firmly on his hip.
“So…” Lane’s grin tilted mischievously, one arm slung over Rowan’s shoulders. “What about your parties?”
“What do you mean?” Rowan’s head swam, punch drunk.
“I’m yours, and you’re mine, but what about your wild vampire orgies?”
Rowan laughed, a full-bellied bark like he hadn’t let out in an age. “I’d like to bring you to my wild vampire orgies. We don’t have to play with anyone else while we’re there.”
“We’d just watch?”
“We can do whatever we want. Watch others. Put on our own show. Retreat to one of the private spaces. Not go at all.”
Lane tapped Rowan’s sternum. “Hey, don’t deny me the chance to see you in your element.”
“I’m not. I’m making it clear that we don’t have to partake in any group activities. I’m all yours.”
“Mine,” Lane agreed, tapping his finger once more with finality.
Rowan couldn’t seem to stop grinning.
“I’m glad you’re not assuming I’m interested in taking part,” Lane said. “But you already know I’m into group activities.”
“I do?”
“I was at one of your parties ten years ago, wasn’t I?”
“To make sure I was above board.”
“And once I confirmed you were, my immediate response was to get in on the action.” Lane became serious. “I’m glad you turned me down. It would have been a disaster if we’d fucked, given everything. I never sought out other group scenes afterward, but it’s something I’d like to explore with you.”
“I’d love that.” Rowan swelled with something like pride knowing Lane trusted him with this. “Do you know what you’d like to explore?”
“Not entirely. I’ll have to see when we’re there. The idea of fucking you with people watching is hot, but who knows, I could lose my nerve.”
“There’s nothing wrong with changing your mind. We can see what feels right. I’ve never had a partner like you, so we’ll both be in new territory.”
A polite knock sounded.
Lane’s attention snapped to the door, and all the lightness within Rowan snuffed out as he crashed back to reality. There was a serious mess to wade through before orgy logistics became a priority.
Rowan helped Lane off his lap and checked his clothes were in order.
Lane did the same. “Do you want me to stay or give you space?”
“Stay.” There was no hesitation. “You’re my partner in everything.”
“Fuck yeah, I am,” Lane murmured, pulling one last smile from Rowan.
“Come in,” he called, settling into his leader persona as the door opened.
Kai appeared in the doorway. “Glad to hear the curse is taken care of, boss. Hey there, Lane.” The tips of his ears reddened, answering the question of whether he’d overheard them.
Vampire hearing wasn’t great for privacy. Not that Rowan or Lane had been particularly quiet.
“Hey.” Lane’s cheeks flushed. Adorable. He didn’t seem overly embarrassed, which was good, if he was considering taking his and Rowan’s play into a public setting.
Come to think of it, Kai’s blush was unlike him. He attended bite nights and had seen Rowan have sex. Unless the rest of the conversation was what made Kai feel he’d intruded. The confessions of love. The plans for a future.
Rowan’s skin prickled with the feeling of exposure. He hadn’t planned to keep this relationship from his coven. He trusted every Valero, Nicole, Vera, and Hunter, too. They were allowed to know his hopes and dreams.
“What can I do for you, Kai?”
In a blink, he was all business. “Felix says Caden is ready to see you. He’s settled enough to get through a conversation about what happened to him, and Felix wants you there for it.”
“Of course. Should we go to him?”
“No.” Kai pulled out his phone and sent a text. “He and Caden will meet you here. I think Caden wants to get out of the room.”
He’d been contained in Felix’s room this entire time? Rowan hadn’t spared enough thought for the poor feral vampire.
He rose and made his way over to the couches, gesturing for Lane to follow. “Will you stay?” he asked Kai.
“I think the fewer people crowding around, the better. I’ll wait outside.” He slipped into the hall.
Lane watched the doorway, tenser than he’d been. “Felix hasn’t given you an update?”
“No.”
“I didn’t realize Caden was still having so much trouble holding a conversation, but I guess it makes sense. Given what we saw of him.”
“I hadn’t realized either.” Felix would have asked for help if he’d needed a break from soothing Caden, but Rowan should have checked in directly. Done more than he had.
This was a prime time for Cris to pop into his head with a cutting remark, but none came. Only the faintest echo of Rowan’s sire lingered, an echo he was probably imagining.
Felix appeared in the doorway, leading Caden with a steady hand on his shoulder. “Rowan, I’d like you to meet my friend Caden.”
Rowan stood, Lane at his elbow, and let his unreadable mask slip away. He smiled. “It’s a pleasure to officially meet you, Caden. This is Lane.”
Caden jerked his chin in a half-nod, his eyes darting around the room. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips, but he didn’t say anything. His fangs were extended. Had they retracted at all since he’d been turned? At least his eyes weren’t glowing.
Caden glanced expectantly at Felix, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
“You’re good. Let’s sit and talk, hmm?” Felix smiled with such warmth, Rowan could practically feel it. Had he ever seen such an expression on Felix’s hard face?
They all settled into their seats, Rowan and Lane across from the others. Caden sat pressed tight to Felix’s side, his hands settling on his lap, tapping out a rapid rhythm.
Rowan leaned forward. “How are you doing?”
Caden’s tapping sped up. “Okay.”
“You can speak as freely as you like.” Rowan tried to show compassion without veering into condescension. “I’m here to listen.”
“Then I’m not okay. I’m… Uh. Felix said he’s part of your coven.” Caden’s hand flew to Felix’s knee, then jerked away. Felix covered it with his, engulfing Caden’s twitching fingers, and his fidgeting stopped. “He said you’d help me.”
Rowan’s throat tightened. Fuck, he hoped he could help Caden. “Felix is right, I’ll do everything I can. It’s what the Valeros do.”
“I’m supposed to think you’re my sire,” Caden said, words a sudden rush.
“But you know I’m not?”
He nodded. “I don’t really remember, but yeah, I know you didn’t do this to me even though something inside me is screaming that you did.”
“Screaming how?”
“Being so close to you, I can feel you pulling me in.”
The hair on the back of Rowan’s neck stood on end. “Like a bond calling to you?”
“Yes, a bond.” Caden’s eyes widened. “It’s not the only one. There’s this other…presence. I don’t understand. Is that why I’m so hungry?”
Rowan glanced at Felix. All his warmth had fled, leaving his usual hard expression behind as he answered the unspoken question. “He’s well fed, but his hunger won’t abate.”
“I want to go back to normal.” Caden’s voice cracked.
Rowan wanted to rip apart the vampire who’d done this, slowly and painfully. It still wouldn’t make it fair. “You won’t ever be the same as you were, Caden. I’m sorry. You’re a vampire now. The transformation can’t be undone.”
He squirmed, holding still clearly a challenge. “I know. Sorry. Felix already told me. I just…I don’t get it. How are you supposed to help me if I can’t go back?”
“By giving you a safe place and supporting you as you find your feet, and by finding the vampire who did this to you. He has to answer for taking your choice away and changing you without permission. I know you said it’s hard to remember, but anything can help.”
“I don’t remember meeting him. I was leaving the library at night, and then everything went black. I have finals…” His expression turned distant, a worried look crossing his face.
“Final exams at the university?” Rowan asked.
Caden’s voice pitched. “Yeah, but I can’t take them like this. If I haven’t already missed them. I can’t even…” He began to shake, squirming like sitting still was getting harder. “I can’t even think.”
“We’ll work it out,” Felix said, calm as a still lake. “You don’t have to worry about finals right now.”
Caden didn’t seem convinced, but he settled somewhat.
“What was I saying? Oh, right. All I remember are his glowing eyes. And I’m pretty sure he’s a man.
I’m not saying he for no reason, but I can’t remember anything else about him.
When I woke up, I didn’t know who I was or where I was.
I can remember who I am now. After Felix grabbed me, it was easier.
But I couldn’t at first. I was so hungry.
” His eyes began to glow, white light washing out his irises.
“Do you need to feed now?” Felix asked.
Caden jerked around to face him and stared for a long, tense moment. “No. I’m okay.”
When he looked at Rowan, his eyes were brown again. “I don’t think I can help you find the man who did this to me.”
“Remembering your sire’s face isn’t the only way you can help.
” Rowan paused, shooting Felix a silent look, asking him to explain.
It might be less alarming for Caden coming from someone he clearly trusted.
Rowan had hoped not to go this route if Caden was distressed, but he didn’t remember enough for them to hunt his sire any other way.
Felix gave an almost imperceptible nod and took his time before saying, “Even though your sire tricked you into thinking Rowan turned you, your blood is bonded to him. We can use the link to track him.”
Caden whipped around with vampire speed. “My b-blood?”
“It won’t hurt. We’ll only need a little bit.”
“And once we find my sire, I’ll feel better? None of you are crawling out of your skin. I want to be like you. I want to relax. I used to be quiet. Shy. Now…” An agonized growl tore from him, and his eyes flared with white light.
Felix looked at Rowan, pleading naked on his face.