Chapter 23 #2
I fell silent for a moment, waiting to see if she’d connect the dots. When she didn’t, I kept going.
“When Dad didn’t know what else to feed us for dinner, he’d just fix us bowls of cereal.
Tony and I didn’t care. He’d tell us once Mom got better, we’d all go out to our favorite restaurant.
Mom wasn’t much of a cook to begin with.
The cook used to leave leftovers for us when she had her days off, but when the cook wasn’t around, it was just Dad in the kitchen.
And Dad… well, he was worse than Mom when it came to cooking.
Couldn’t even defrost something properly. ”
I shrugged, gesturing at the cereal in front of me. “So…”
“So when your mom was sick, and the cook wasn’t there, you guys ate cereal,” Rose said softly, like she finally understood.
I nodded, forcing a tight smile.
“It reminds me of my dad.”
The simple admission left me vulnerable. But oddly enough, with her, I didn’t feel like I needed armor.
She settled beside me on the stool, her voice softening. “I never met him. But I heard he was a great alpha. Did wonderful things for this pack and for werewolves in general.”
I blinked at her, not missing how close she was. If I reached out, I could easily run my hand through her hair. I took a breath instead, letting her scent mess with my head. Maybe I was lowering my guard a little too much.
That’s probably why I kept talking.
“People always said I’d make a great alpha. That I’d make my dad proud. That I was everything an alpha should be. Like I should be proud of that.”
I laughed bitterly, shaking my head.
“You know, I always hated hearing that. Like it was something I earned. Like I should feel proud of something that only comes when my dad dies or can’t lead anymore.
It used to make me so angry. People always saying, ‘When you become Alpha…’ or ‘After you’re Alpha…
’ Didn’t they realize what they were saying?
That it would only happen when Dad was either dead or too weak to continue?
Alphas usually retire when they start getting old, but I could never even picture that.
He was always this larger-than-life figure in my world.
Always strong, always leading, always teaching me how to be better. Always my hero.”
The spoon clinked against the bowl again as I paused, realizing how much I was saying. But everything came easy when I was with Rose.
“Everyone thinks of their father as a hero. Always there to save the day. It’s normal,” Rose offered gently, encouraging me to keep going.
I nodded faintly, her words somehow giving me permission to speak the things I had never said out loud.
“I couldn’t even let myself think about what I’d do ‘when I became Alpha.’ Because thinking about it meant imagining a world without my dad in it. It meant imagining losing him. And it’s like… the more I feared that day… the faster it came.”
I finished in a quiet whisper, shame threading through the words. Like somehow, just dreading it had made it real.
“It’s not your fault what happened,” Rose said quickly, like she could see exactly where my thoughts were spiraling.
I laughed bitterly.
“We fought the night before. Lexia was over. We… I smelled like her.”
I looked at Rose then, hoping she’d understand without me having to explain every detail. The main reason wolves smelled like each other was because they’d been physically intimate.
Her eyes flickered with something—I wasn’t sure what—but after a moment, she seemed to shove it aside. Like she knew this wasn’t about her feelings. Like she understood I just needed someone to listen.
“Dad knew things were getting serious between me and Lexia. He wanted me to end it. Kept telling me to stop letting my hormones rule my decisions. He wanted me to wait for my mate. I get it now… he kept trying to rein me in because of you.”
I glanced up at her for a moment before looking back down at my cereal.
“I told him he was stuck in the old ways, that times were changing. That he didn’t understand me and was forcing his views down my throat. Now… now I realize he understood me better than I even understood myself—”
I snapped my mouth shut before the words tumbled out.
He understood you were the one who would complete me.
Even though it felt good to finally talk about the mess of emotions tangled inside me, I wasn’t about to spill everything. I glanced toward Rose; she was looking at me patiently, waiting for me to go on. I shifted gears quickly, steering the conversation away from mates and Lexia .
“The things I’ve found… in his… my study,” I continued.
“He left me notes, piles of them, all starting with ‘If you’re reading this, it means I’ve met an untimely demise.
’ He wrote them all out by hand—guidelines, policies for dealing with other packs.
Even… even about the foreign alliance I made while I was abroad.
He left a detailed profile on that pack, breaking down why they’d be the best alliance for us. ”
I blew out a breath, leaning back in my stool.
“He left me so many notes so I could keep up his work but… now there aren’t any left. The last letter I found in his study table… my study table… said I need to make my own decisions now. Pick my own strategies. He trusted that I’d know what’s good for the pack and that now that I have my luna…”
My eyes slid sideways to Rose.
“She’ll be able to use her powers to seek guidance from him if I ever need it.”
I heard her sharp intake of breath. She knew what that meant.
“He talks like he expected you to be my luna by now,” I said quietly. “Guess I didn’t meet all of his expectations.”
“I don’t think he had any expectations on what you should or shouldn’t do,” she replied, her hand sliding up to rest over my arm on the counter.
She must be saying this to comfort me, but the second her fingers touched my skin, it was like a spark shot straight through me. I went completely still, my pulse racing.
We were sitting too close. Close enough that all I could smell was her. I fought not to lean in closer, not to lose myself in her scent.
“I think he gave you all the information you needed so that you could make the right decisions, the best ones for your pack,” she continued.
“He didn’t exactly tell you to make an alliance.
He just… pointed you in the right direction.
Your dad gave you the information so you could cross-check it yourself.
I mean, it’s not like he would’ve been disappointed if you’d discovered something wrong with the foreign alliance and backed out. ”
I tilted my head toward her, a small smile tugging at my lips.
“He expects me to mate with you.”
Her face flushed instantly at the huskiness in my voice. She bit her bottom lip without realizing it, and my gaze zeroed in on the movement like a predator spotting prey.
“That… that’s… well… you have every right to be with who you want to be,” she finally said, letting out a little huff of laughter, clearly trying to brush past what I’d said. “Don’t worry, I’m going to help you. We’re in this together.”
She gave my arm a squeeze, and before I could stop myself, my hand shot out toward her—but she was already sliding off the stool, out of reach. I drew my hand back quickly, pretending I hadn’t moved at all.
“What time should I be ready tomorrow? You’re taking me to lab, right?” she asked, glancing back over her shoulder.
“You don’t have an eight a.m. tomorrow, do you?”
“No.” She shook her head, her curls falling over her face.
“We’ll leave around nine. That okay?”
She nodded, then turned to head back upstairs. I watched her go, wondering how she could just walk away after sitting here, peeling me open like that. She probably thought I’d be up all night sulking over a bowl of cereal. And maybe I would.
Maybe this was my therapy.
I heard her footsteps fade away upstairs. I knew exactly where she was headed—back to her bed, to the room right next to mine, where the door connecting our rooms sat unopened.
My eyes drifted toward the ceiling.
And I wondered how much longer I’d have to wait before she stopped walking away.