Chapter 29
"If you want her to love you, shelter her from that storm…And make certain that storm isn’t you.” ― Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn
Rose’s POV
I didn’t see much of Aiden until Thursday morning.
I’d ended up spending both Monday and Tuesday night at Dad’s house, in my old room.
It’s funny how you don’t appreciate the miracle that is a memory foam mattress until you’re stuck tossing and turning on something.
.. less miraculous. By Wednesday, I couldn’t take it anymore and returned to the alpha residence, with Layla as my escort for the day.
So there I was Thursday morning, sliding into the car beside Aiden, heading off to the University to meet with my advisor, when he glanced over at me and said, “Lexia asked me to pick her up today. Her car is in the shop, and since her father’s pack is on the eastern side…”
He trailed off with a shrug, like it didn’t mean anything. I gave him a quick nod and smoothed down the denim skirt I was wearing, suddenly hyper-aware of how I looked.
“I’ll sit in the back once we reach her house,” I offered, eyes focused on the ground outside the car.
I didn’t see it, but I could feel Aiden tense beside me.
“Um… what have you told her? Does she know the truth?” I asked, bracing myself for the drama that might follow. I didn’t know how Lexia would react, and I hated being unprepared.
He exhaled slowly. “She knows we’re living together,” he admitted. “She doesn’t know much else. Lexia… Lexia thinks we can’t help the mate pull.” Another shrug. “I haven’t told her otherwise. We haven’t really talked lately.”
“So… she thinks we’re together?” I asked again, trying to piece it all together.
He glanced sideways at me. “For Lexia, it’s just biology. She thinks that, as an alpha, I’m genetically wired to want to mate with my luna. To her, it’s just instinct.” He laughed bitterly. “Like eating to live.” He shook his head, clearly remembering something he didn’t want to do.
“She’s willing to ignore our physical intimacies as long as she’s the only one fulfilling your emotional needs,” I said quietly. “She doesn’t care what you do with me, as long as she’s the one you’re in a relationship with.”
He looked at me, surprised. Not for the first time, I saw that flicker of appreciation when I said something that hit the nail on the head.
“She’s not,” he said quickly, like he could feel my heart sinking. “Not… fulfilling my emotional needs.”
“Yet,” I added, unable to stop myself. “It’s not for lack of trying on her part.”
He dipped his head in agreement, not arguing.
“Then why haven’t you gotten back together?” I asked. “If she’s fine with our… situation, and I’m fine with you two being… together, what’s stopping you?”
I could see how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel—his knuckles had gone white. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to dig into those feelings. But I had to ask. Even if I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer.
When we pulled up in front of Lexia’s house, I reached for my seatbelt, ready to move to the back. But his hand closed over mine, stopping me.
“I told you, we need to make it look authentic,” he murmured. “People will wonder why I let my ex-girlfriend sit up front.”
My eyes widened. He was worried about me. Not Lexia’s feelings, not how awkward she might feel—but how others might perceive my role, my safety. And I definitely didn’t feel a jolt of happiness when he called Lexia his ex…
So I stayed in my seat when Lexia stormed out and threw daggers at me with her eyes. She yanked open the back door and climbed in with a huff.
“Layla was too busy to drive her?” she asked snidely, like I was a child who needed to be chauffeured.
“Layla was supposed to take me today?” I asked, confused, turning to Aiden.
“I’m supposed to take you, Rose,” he said coolly. “Lexia, I’m not going to compromise Rose’s security. Layla has patrols. There’s a whole process if I need to pull her away.”
Lexia didn’t reply after that. Silence reigned until we stopped at a coffee shop, and Aiden offered to pay for everyone’s drinks.
“Three years, Aiden, and you still can’t remember I take my coffee with skim milk,” Lexia said coldly, correcting the order just before he paid.
I felt the air leave my lungs.. My head snapped toward Aiden, but he was carefully not looking at me.
I stared down at my cup, coffee with a dash of cinnamon, holding it tightly, trying to ignore the sharp ache blooming in my chest. And then a new, colder thought slipped into my mind, and it stayed there, heavy and uninvited.
It wouldn’t have been a problem for me.
I’d been so angry that day in the car on the way home, I hadn’t thought much about the comment.
It wouldn’t have been a problem for him to mate with me because he was already attracted to me, or because he felt something for me.
Was that attraction only because of the mate pull?
Because I wanted something more than just biology and genetic programming as the reason he noticed what I liked and disliked.
With those questions bouncing around in my head, I dragged myself to the library until my appointment with my advisor.
I figured I’d get some reading out of the way.
I was already seated at one of the communal desks when I heard Lexia calling my name.
Didn’t she and Aiden have class right now?
I turned, already bracing myself. What did she want this time?
“Here.” Lexia shoved a clear glass bottle into my hand. It held a silvery liquid of some kind.
“What is this?” I asked, shaking the bottle slightly, caught off guard.
“It’s a suppressant drug,” she said with a smirk. “Still in testing, but I got my hands on it. Apparently, the results are phenomenal.”
“Suppressant for what exactly?” I asked sharply, my tone hard.
“It dulls the pain if your mate sleeps with someone else. You don’t have to take it unless the pain hits you,” she replied, all casual and confident.
I dropped the bottle onto the table with a quiet clunk. Was she seriously telling me they were planning on sleeping together again? She handed over a pamphlet, too.
“These are the dosage instructions,” Lexia added.
“I figured it might be useful, considering…Aiden isn’t going to stay away from me forever.
” She sounded so sure. “He’s a young, healthy alpha, and he’s wild in bed.
” She giggled, twirling a strand of blonde hair like she was in some teen soap.
“I don’t think you could handle him, even if you wanted to. ”
Her words had that superior, polished edge, like she was the only one who could ever truly give Aiden what he needed.
“Did Aiden tell you to give this to me?” I asked, my voice sharp.
“Oh, he doesn’t know,” she replied, waving a hand. “But I doubt he’d care. He might even thank you later for giving him the green light. Just read the warning label. I thought you should know this is…an option.”
An option. An option for coping with the pain of Aiden and Lexia being together.
An option for him to be with the girl he loved.
Bile rose in my throat. The thought of the same hands that had touched my breasts in the dark hallway during the regional conference touching Lexia…
made me sick. The thought of his lips, the ones that kissed the curve of my back, now on hers—it was too much.
I shoved the bottle and that awful pamphlet into the open zip of my bag.
Her peppy goodbye barely registered over the roar in my ears.
And then my brain whispered it. Just a quiet realization that echoed inside me, making everything still.
I like him…
I liked him and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
It wasn’t just Aiden the alpha. I liked Aiden, the boy who ate cold cereal at midnight, the young man still trying to live up to the legacy of his dead father.
It was the way he always put me first—even if it meant letting Lexia’s family think he’d rejected their daughter.
It was the way his dark eyes dragged me under when he touched me, how he made me breathless just by grazing his fingertips against my knee.
And when he kissed me with those soft lips, he set me on fire. And I burned. I wanted to burn.
Goddess help me, this was more than just biology. I liked that he wore socks to bed. I liked that he took care of his mom and younger siblings, paid all their expenses while living in that huge alpha mansion. He didn’t even let Josie spend her widow’s pension.
He took care of everyone—his pack, his family…me. No matter how much I pushed back, he was always there. Always making sure I was okay. I liked that. I liked being his priority. I liked the attention, even if that made me a complete masochist.
But he loved Lexia.
And I knew one thing—more than anything, I wanted him to be happy, even if that meant it wasn’t with me.
I should’ve known. I should’ve known back when Jake kissed me and it felt wrong, because he didn’t taste like Aiden.
Because when Jake kissed me, all I wanted was for it to be him instead.
All I’d wanted was to matter to someone, even if it was Jake.
Turns out, I might be good at reading others. But when it came to my own heart, I was just a stupid, silly girl.
“Where’s Lexia?” I asked when I met up with Aiden for the ride back home later.
“Not with us,” he replied coolly, like we were talking about the weather. But I saw the way he ran a hand through his hair.
He was upset, but I didn’t push.
I was in a meeting with my academic advisor to finalize my application to graduate and I was caught completely off guard when he slid a med-school pamphlet across the desk.