Chapter 35
“I know there is a terrible distance between us. But our bodies are made of stardust, and we are hurtling through space and time, toward the most beautiful collision.” ― Lang Leav, The Universe of Us
Aiden's POV
“I can ask Mom about the key to the door,” I said quietly one night when Rose entered my room in her flannel pajamas.
Her sleeping in my bed while I was in my wolf form had become routine.
September was upon us. Dylan’s recovery was sporadic.
It seemed like he would go one step forward then two steps back.
Dr. Danvers couldn’t figure out why. Everyone was worried; Mom was distraught.
And Rose had already expressed her fear many times that no matter who was responsible for this attempted murder, they would return to finish the job.
Rose looked at the door connecting our rooms that had always remained firmly shut.
“You don’t have the key?” Rose queried.
“If I did, that night you’d woken up screaming from a nightmare, I wouldn’t have gone through the main door.” My voice was a gentle whisper.
It was the most I'd spoken to her in my room in the previous weeks combined. Sure, we interacted during the day. But at night, it was always Rose's silent entry, my quiet shift, and then blissful sleep.
I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy seeing her first thing in the morning when I woke up, her hair spread across my pillows, hand nestled under her cheek.
The sight was more invigorating for me than any morning coffee could be.
My control was hanging by a thread. I wanted to wake her up with kisses, hugs, and light caresses.
But I couldn't and that was my undoing. How could she not know by now how I felt about her? Maybe she knew but didn’t want me. I was too scared to find out.
Rose didn’t reply, wordlessly staring at the door.
“Your birthday is next week.”
Rose’s head snapped up at my words.
“I can call Ezra and Hilda back if you want them to be here for your turn. I didn’t think the assignment would take as long as this.
Ezra was just supposed to go to England to scout out Tanya's…” I made a face, “…
mate's pack. But, Ezra said they needed more time.” I sighed, feeling as if I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders.
“I’m sure Josie would be alright being there with me when I shift,” Rose responded. “And… you’d be there. You have to be there since you’re the pack alpha. Every wolf has to bare their neck in submission to you after their first turn.”
“You don’t.”
"Hmm?”
“The luna doesn’t….” But I stopped short. The submission of a luna's wolf to her alpha did not constitute baring her neck. It was an altogether different type of submission; one that involved mating. “Never mind.”
“Will you be there?” Rose asked, her eyes looking at me hopefully. "I'd feel better if...if you were there."
And even though I knew it was probably a bad idea, I couldn’t deny her when she looked at me like that.
I nodded, finally pulling her towards the bed. Rose averted her gaze like always when I started shrugging out of my boxers to change into my wolf.
Rose's POV
I felt the surge of heat; I felt the bending of bones and screamed as they cracked, locating and dislocating to form new angles in my body.
It seemed as if I’d been doing this for hours.
I fell to my knees, unable to support myself when my legs began to twist, kneecaps disjointing slowly, painfully.
Never had I ever felt such extreme pain.
Hot pain sliced through my body, setting every nerve on fire.
I screamed as another sickening crunch made my legs twist. I was going to be sick.
I couldn’t handle anymore of this excruciating pain.
My mind blurred from the pain. My vision completely blanked and all I could see was darkness with white spots dancing in front of my eyes.
I shouted in protest, feeling the skin on my face stretch and break.
I wanted to stop. I gagged, dry heaving as my body protested profusely.
“It’s OK. You’re doing great.” Aiden's faint voice broke through the haze of pain. I screamed again as my arms crunched in on themselves, twisting to form new limbs.
I felt myself slowly losing consciousness.
I was about to pass out or throw up. Maybe both.
Who was I kidding? I wasn’t strong enough to get through the shift.
I was nothing but a stupid weak girl who’d been stupid enough to think she would come out of this in one piece.
Dizzying pain overwhelmed me. This was impossible for me to see through to the end. It wouldn’t work. I would fail.
“Keep going, keep thinking about completing the turn. Surrender to your wolf. Give into the pain, don’t fight it.”
His voice was strong, guiding me with its steady presence.
“Rose, you can do this. I’m right here. You can get through it.”
Aiden had faith in me.
With immense determination, I willed my mind to stay on task instead of blacking out.
I could do this.
I would do this.
I fought the pull to fall unconscious.
I howled when my spine bent into an unnatural curve, forcing me down onto all fours.
Then gagged. My elbow cleanly split into two across it’s connecting joint, forearm bending into another unnatural angle.
I screamed again and again as the other forearm followed suit.
This was unbearable. And then my skin began to itch as if every single pore on my body was on fire.
Fur sprouted on my arms, my back, and my face.
As my nose elongated into a snout, I howled in pain again except, this time, it was the howl of a wolf, not a human.
Smells, so many different smells and sounds were around me. I could feel the dirt beneath my paws and experimentally flexed. Triumphantly I howled again. I had done it! I had shifted.
Opening my eyes, I looked up at Aiden.
The elation I initially felt receded. There was only one thing on the forefront of my mind now.
Mate, Mate. Mate.
My mind screamed the mantra at me. My wolf nearly purred in contentment. Mate was here.
I padded over to him, nuzzling his outstretched hand, licking his wrists where his scent glands were. I wanted to scent him. I wanted to make sure my saliva was all over him so no other she-wolf could stake a claim on him.
My mate. He was amazing.
“You’re beautiful.” His reverent voice caused an ache to erupt inside of me.
I nuzzled deeper into him as he crouched down to scratch behind my ears. This is where I belonged. I belonged with my mate. I was never going to leave him.
Aiden's POV
I breathed deeply, running my hands through the russet-colored fur in amazement.
Her green eyes glowed yellow and seemed aquamarine in the dark of night, the torches around us illuminating her.
We were in the clearing in front of the Temple of the Moon Goddess where we had the mating ceremony.
Mom had taken Dylan’s reports to a magical healer at her sister's pack.
I was the only person to stay with Rose for her turn tonight.
I’d never seen a more magnificent wolf. She wasn’t small or dainty. In fact, she was the perfect size to complement my own wolf.
I could feel the urge to turn. To let our wolves interact.
I could also feel my wolf’s urge to mate with my luna.
But I decided that I couldn’t take advantage of Rose like that.
Rose would succumb to her wolf now but was it what she really wanted?
It was the same reason I’d pulled away from her again and again.
I had no right to enjoy her, not when I’d pushed her away so effectively in the past. She didn’t love me.
So with a strength I didn’t know I possessed, I tamped down on my instincts, simply enjoying as Rose licked my face playfully and yipped at me.
Pulling back, she bent down low, wagging her tail.
I knew she wanted to play; she wanted me to change. But I couldn’t.
“Take your run,” I cajoled.
Rose growled playfully at me, beckoning for me to follow
I shook my head. “You can do this alone. Come on. Get to know your wolf.”
She looked a little sad, but seemed to understand my hesitance. Green turned to a full-on glowing yellow as Rose let her wolf take over completely. She ran out into the night. I knew she was going to explore her territory, leaving her mark. The land should know its luna was here.
I went into the temple, sitting down on the cold stone floor to wait for Rose to return.
After an hour, the graceful russet-colored wolf bounded into the temple lithely, coming to rest her head in my lap.
“Did you have fun?” I asked, patting her head, and enjoying the way her fur felt against my fingers.
My wolf was growling inside to be let out. I wanted my mate. Rose looked up at me a little forlornly, the sentence left unspoken but conveyed through the mind-link all werewolves had with pack members.
“I would have had more fun if you had been with me.”
I let out a silent breath of laughter, scratching behind her ears. So she had learned to mind-link already. That really wasn't a surprise. I already knew, Rose was smart and a quick learner.
“Alright, now here’s the hard part, Princess. You have to turn back.”
Rose lifted her head, taking a few steps back. I leaned forward, extending a hand to give her one final pat. I wished I could turn and nuzzle my nose against her fur. But my wolf would dominate her in an instant, mating with her whether she wanted it or not.
“Come on. I know you can do it. It won’t hurt as much as the first time. Just think about your human form,” I encouraged.
Rose looked back outside almost longingly.
“You can go for a run again later,” I promised. “We have to make sure you can change yourself back first.”
Rose cocked her head to the side, and I almost laughed at her skepticism.
“You can’t stay a wolf forever, Rose. Come on, Princess, come back to me.”