Chapter 42
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” ― Anais Nin
Rose's POV
Alistair Evans’ mansion consisted of a vast lawn which ended at a lake where a dock and small motorboat could be seen. This was my first time ever going beyond the front driveway of Lexia's house and I had to appreciate the beautiful décor as well as the layout of the residence.
The seating outside was divine; a canopy of fairy lights had been constructed over round tables with a single candle surrounded by a wreath of light pink roses as the centerpiece.
Aiden's hand on my back lightly grazed my butt, and it made me playfully swat his hand away as we walked down the back steps and onto the lawn to find our seats.
Then, just before we continued walking, he pulled me close, whispering devilishly, “At least my scent is all over you this time.”
I blushed. Aiden winked at me, and we both went to find our seats, hand-in-hand.
I greeted the familiar faces as I passed and was especially happy to see that we had been seated with Ava and Ron again.
This time, the pregnant luna and her husband were also seated at our table.
Aiden kept his hand firmly clasped with mine under the table as I got to know that the luna’s name was Krystal and she was five and a half months along, due in a few weeks.
"Ah…nice mark," Ava hummed pointedly, eyes gleaming at the fresh mark on my neck.
I blushed. Aiden hid his smile behind a glass of champagne. His hand did not leave my thigh.
“You don’t get to get drunk this time around. You’re driving us back,” I scolded, leaning into him.
Before Aiden could say something back, a familiar voice from the front, where a stage had been set up, broke our conversation.
My heart stuttered as I looked up to see Lexia standing at the podium.
Wasn’t she supposed to have gone off to law school by now?
I shot Aiden a look. Had he known? But Aiden looked as confused as I felt.
He brought our clasped hands up, reassuringly kissing my fingers.
Lexia's welcome speech droned on. But I couldn’t help the insecurities surging through me.
It was like I'd traveled back into the past and was the short plump awkward girl again that Aiden wouldn’t even glance at while Lexia was the glamorous girlfriend destined to be his luna.
However, Aiden was there, leaning into me, holding my hand, kissing my hand…
I struggled to rationalize and remind myself that I couldn’t hold Aiden's past against him. And like a robot, I clapped along with everyone else once the speech was finished wondering if I could ever look as glamorous and confident as the beauty before me who had delivered such a brilliant speech.
“Babe…” Aiden began uncertainly, and, for a minute, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was talking to me or Lexia.
It seemed as if all of my insecurities were playing across my face. And Aiden must have seen them. He slung an arm over my shoulder casually, leaning in to whisper in my ear.
“Rose, I told you before and I’m telling you again, you’re the only one in my heart. I only have feelings for you. You’re the only one I want to go back home with, and you are the only one I want to be with.”
His words washed over me, and I closed my eyes, leaning into him to reassure myself.
“How are you guys doing?”
I stiffened; Aiden tightened his hold on me. We looked up to see Lexia standing next to me. My eyes were kind, yet hesitant.
“I...I just came to say hi.” Lexia's eyes traveled between us warily.
The other people seated at our table were watching the exchange, hanging on every word that was being spoken.
“Hey, Lexia,” Aiden said with a smile. “I hope you’re doing well.” He didn't remove his arm from around me.
Lexia nodded and kept talking. “I started law school. Came home to help Mom since she hasn’t been feeling well lately.” Lexia swallowed. “It…it’s been rough,” she admitted sadly.
And just like that, I couldn’t find it in my heart to be mean. I felt bad for Lexia. My worry for her mother overrode any ill-will I might bear towards her.
“I hope she feels better soon,” I said earnestly. “You know, you can always bring her over to Dr. Danvers if you think it might help. He’s a wonderful doctor.”
Lexia nodded sadly. “Thanks, Luna Rose, for the offer.”
Lexia calling me by my official title was not lost on me. She was deferring to my position as Aiden's mate, as Aiden's luna.
“I’ll see you guys around.” Lexia inclined her head towards us before turning to go make sure things were running smoothly.
“She…she was different,” I finally said.
“I think her mother’s sickness is really taking a toll on the family,” Aiden spoke up sadly.
“Do you know what’s wrong with Mrs. Evans?” I asked.
Aiden paused a beat before finally nodding. “But I can’t tell you, Rose. It’s not my secret to tell.”
I felt that ugly monster rise up within me again. Not his secret to tell. He’d said the same thing about dad and Auntie Hilda. I was his mate! He should tell me EVERYTHING. But I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to cause a scene.
After dinner was over and music started playing, Aiden grabbed my hand, pulling me onto the dance floor and into his arms. His hands splayed over my butt possessively, bringing me intimately against him.
I couldn’t help but look up at him and smile.
He looked so cute, hair slicked back with a few strands sexily hanging in his eyes.
I couldn’t help leaning forward and up to give him a quick kiss.
Aiden moved me around on the dance floor, his hands finally resting on my waist. It was as we were leaving that Lexia's offhanded request floored me.
She may not have meant to, but it hurt just the same.
“Would you mind…staying a bit longer? I …I could really use someone to talk to.” Lexia's voice was small and tentative as she stood before us in an empty hallway. Her eyes were on me, seeking my permission. People had begun filing out.
Aiden glanced over at me. “Would you mind?” he asked me quietly.
I thought she meant if he’d mind us staying longer. I shook my head. Lexia looked so distraught, I didn’t mind staying. But Aiden's next words sent me crashing down.
“I’ll see Rose off, and you can drop me home later.” He spoke the words to Lexia before pulling me out of the house.
Wait. What? Lexia only wanted Aiden to stay?
Well, of course she would. Lexia and I were never close.
Why would Lexia need me to talk too? Of course, Lexia meant Aiden.
She’d only been looking at me for permission.
Permission from her ex’s mate to let him stay.
I went through the motions of getting into the car and starting the ignition on autopilot.
I wasn’t thinking at all. I couldn’t think about anything actually…
except for images of Lexia wrapped in Aiden's embrace.
Aiden touching her the way he touched me.
Aiden kissed me on the cheek through the open car door window.
“I’ll be home soon. I think she’s just upset because of her mom. She probably can’t talk to anyone else about it.”
I nodded, swallowing audibly as my emotions of rejection got stronger.
“Hey…hey.” Aiden cupped my chin through the window, leaning in to me to stare at my eyes. “If you don’t feel comfortable about me staying, just say so.”
I shook my head, moving my chin out of Aiden's grasp.
“No…no…you should stay. She needs a friend and…After all, you two have…history.”
My voice sounded hollow even to my own ears.
“Are you sure, Rose?” Aiden gave me a hard look.
I nodded, swallowing audibly before driving off.
Aiden's POV
I stared after Rose with a deep sigh. I knew Rose was upset because I didn't share the truth about Lexia's mother. But I couldn't share someone else's secret. That just wasn’t the type of person I was.
Why didn't Rose understand that I wanted to be nowhere else but with her, laughing, and dancing in circles to some mindless happy love song while she looked at me as if I was the most important person in her life? She shouldn't be worried if I was going to stay back briefly with Lexia.
What was I supposed to do? Lexia looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown.
I should know. I'd spent the past two years with her.
I could tell Lexia's mood just from her eyes. Her mother was dying, I knew that much. What kind of person did that make me not be there for her in such a dire situation? She’d been there for me when my father passed away.
It seemed cruel to kick her to the curb when she needed a shoulder to cry on.
Besides, I needed to talk to Alistair. This was the opening I had been waiting for.
"Thanks for staying back." Lexia's voice was soft, the wind carrying her voice between us once I had met her out on the back lawn.
Lexia was directing the omegas to clean up now that all the guests had left.
“You really should thank Rose, not me,” I said with my arms crossed as I leaned against a table.
“So you wouldn’t have stayed if she hadn’t given you permission?” Lexia asked scathingly.
“I would have respected her wishes if she didn’t want me hanging back to talk with my ex,” I replied bluntly.
Lexia winced.
“But Aiden, we have so much history together…” Lexia trailed off almost pleadingly. "Are you seriously willing to throw it all away?"
I gave a heavy sigh. “We had a past together but, Lexia , isn’t it time to move on now?”
“You say that because you’ve succumbed to the mate pull,” Lexia replied bitterly.
I really didn’t want to argue about this, so I changed the subject to one of the main reasons I had stayed back.
“Lexia, tell Alistair to back off Rose. She doesn’t feel like he likes her. And if she feels threatened, then that’s not a good sign. Rose is pretty easy going so if she’s having a problem with him, it must be because he really is rude to her. I won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting my luna.”
Lexia looked at me taken aback.
“She may have misconstrued his feelings,” Lexia supplied off-handedly.
“Well, he better start making sure she doesn’t misconstrue them anymore; otherwise, I’ll break off my alliance with your pack,” I threatened.
“I asked you to stay back as an emotional support for me because my mother is sick,” Lexia wept prettily. “And here you are making threats to my pack and father.”
I gave another weary sigh.
“I really am sorry about your mother. You really should bring her to Dr. Danvers tomorrow. He might be able to help with the cancer that’s spreading. We have some antidotes we’ve been using for Dylan. Maybe they might work for your mother too?” I suggested.
Lexia wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands before sniffling.
“How is Dylan doing?” she asked, the worry in her voice sincere.
“As good as can be expected given all that’s happened to him,” I replied. “He’s a pretty strong kid. He’ll be fine,” I assured her.
“Yeah, he is a pretty strong kid.” Lexia said bitterly, as if it was a word to denote something taboo.
“You never really got along with him,” I noted. “But thank you for your concern.”
"Is this it then? Can't we at least be friends?" Lexia pleaded.
"We can be friends," I relented, my mind already on getting home to be with Rose.
"You've marked her,” Lexia stated, staring at her hands sadly.
Lexia always used to ask me to mark her. But I always said I was saving it for our mating ceremony.
"What I do or don't do with Rose is none of your concern." My voice was on edge.
"You haven't slept with her yet… have you?"
My jaw clenched tightly, and I looked away. She had no business asking me such personal questions.
"It's none of your business. I need to go home now since you're clearly done talking about your mother."
Lexia didn't push the matter further.
Rose's POV
I lay miserably in my bed, going over the various scenarios of what must be going on at Lexia's mansion when there was a knock on my door.
Aiden entered.
“Come back from a good time?” My voice was savage.
Aiden took a step back, hands up in defense. “You know it’s nothing like that. She’s in a rough spot right now. Just needed someone to talk to.”
He tentatively walked over to me and sat down across from me on the bed.
A hand came up to cup my cheek, thumb running over my cheekbone tenderly. He knew I was upset.
“What’s wrong, baby?” he finally asked, staring into my eyes with gentle warmth.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered. “I…” I laughed morosely. “I keep thinking you’ll realize what an absolute loser I am and go back to her.”
“Babe…that’s not going to happen.” He whispered the words across my lips, leaning his forehead against mine. “I was an asshole back then. I'm sorry for ever making you feel that way. I'm different now. You've shown me how to be different, how to be better. Open the mind-link and you’ll understand.”
I pulled back. “I can’t…I can’t do that, Aiden.”
I wrenched myself away from his arms, rushing into the bathroom to get away from him.
Aiden’s POV
With a sad sigh, I walked back to my room.
It always seemed like we took one step forward but two steps back.
What could I do to make Rose more confident in herself?
I knew she was feeling this way because of how I'd treated her in the past and, for the millionth time, I was regretting my previous actions.
But there had to be a way to make her see that I wasn't going anywhere.
She was stuck with me forever. I didn't know how to ever go back to a life without her to challenge me and make me see reason every step of the way.
I didn't know how to go back to kisses without the taste of cinnamon.
What I felt for Rose was a thousand times stronger than what I'd ever felt for Lexia, and I'd been so wrong this entire time, confusing love with lust and attachment when it came to Lexia.
Because with Rose it was the real thing.
It was unconditional love. I wanted to go back to her, to hold her, to tell her how much I loved her.
Instead, I just laid in bed at night missing Rose, wishing I had her wrapped in my arms.