Chapter 45 #2
“Stop trying to sacrifice yourself. Can’t you for once do what you want?
” Aiden grit out, fists clenched at his sides.
“You have a hero complex and I’m not about to be part of your next crusade.
You...me…” He gestured wildly between the two of us.
“Losing your virginity to me shouldn’t be about ‘what’s good for the pack'! That’s not how.
.. I want…” And then he closed his mouth.
I took his silence for rejection. Because it irked me to no end that Lexia was his one and only lover.
I may not have been his first but Isure as hell wanted to be his last. I couldn't help but think that if Aiden wasn't willing to take that step with me, it meant he must still have some residual feelings for Lexia.
“You don’t want me,” I breathed out. I held back the tears threatening to well over.
“You don’t…” And then I squared my shoulders, trying to compose myself before my next scathing reply.
“Well, if the only problem is that I’m a virgin, I guess I’ll just have to find someone to take it,” I snapped. I walked forward to push past him.
A growl tore from Aiden's throat at my comment, and he grabbed me before I could push past his form.
“No one touches you,” Aiden growled. His fingernails began to extend into claws, and canines protruded from his gums. Clearly, he was on edge.
“What, you don’t want me but no one else can want me either?
” I challenged, tossing my head back angrily.
My curls flew about me wildly, like snakes ready to strike.
With the strength born from being the luna, I tore myself away from his grip.
My eyes changed to yellow. “You can’t keep pushing me away and expect me to stick around. ” My voice was a low growl now.
Aiden's hands came forward. I backed away from him as Aiden attempted to block my path to the door.
His claw ripped down the side of my charcoal gray knit skirt in a bid to grab me and the seams gave way.
It was the same skirt I'd worn at the diner for my date with Jake the first time I’d seen him after his return from England.
I gasped in outrage at the huge tear down one side, my own claws extending as I took a few steps back from him.
“You’re going in the right direction,” Aiden growled.
I turned to see that his bed was right behind me.
“I’m leaving to find someone who actually wants me!” I threatened, again trying to get by.
Aiden gave a mirthless laugh, retracting his claws. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I tried to run past, lifting me from behind so that my back was pushed up flush against his chest. He turned, throwing me onto the bed. My claws reached for him, creating tears across the front of his shirt.
“You're not as smart as I thought you were if you think I don't want you,” Aiden huffed, straddling me and leaning over me, gripping my wrists with one hand so I couldn’t slash away at him. “But I’m not letting external forces dictate decisions about our personal life. Screw the pack. This is about us. I love you too damn much, Rose, and I don’t want to mess up with you. ”
Amidst the haze of anger, his words seeped into my brain, and I ceased to struggle against him.
My breath caught, my claws retracted. Aiden let his free hand run up my newly exposed thigh as he spoke evenly. “I’m afraid I’ll lose you…I don’t want to lose you.” His voice broke slightly.
It was so much information. He loved me. He said he loved me. He said he was afraid of losing me.
I swallowed as Aiden's hand inched higher up my thigh.
“You know—” Aiden began evenly, his breathing still harsh and his cheeks still red from anger. There was a possessive edge to his voice brought on from my taunts and I clearly felt it. “These skirts” —he reached the hem of my skirt and began tugging at the rip— “are going to be the death of me.”
“I can’t imagine why,” I said in a small voice, wary of the predatory look in his eyes.
He was looking down at me hungrily, possessively too, as if I was the last slice of cake left and he was afraid someone else might take it from him.
My mind translated the way he was looking at me and I tried to swallow down the lust raging within me.
He was here, on top of me...telling me he loved me.
“I remember the first time I saw you in this.” His fingernails belonging to the hand tugging at my skirt suddenly elongated again, becoming claws, effectively ripping the skirt in two so that it fell away in scraps, revealing my black underwear.
I gasped.
“Been wanting to do that.” Aiden grinned wickedly.
Retracting his claws, he leaned down closer to me.
“I wondered what it’d feel like to have these…
” He squeezed the bare skin on my upper thigh.
“…wrapped around my waist.” And then he lifted one of my legs up to his waist, guiding it into the proper position to hook around him. “Like this.”
I felt myself going weak in the knees as I felt him slot his hips securely against mine. I felt his arousal. Aiden cupped my backside, grinding into me while moaning.
“Rose,” he panted as an age-old instinct guided me in locking my other leg around him. His hand released my wrists, fingers tangled in my hair.
“Aiden.” My breathy response bellied my raging desire as electrifying jolts shot through my skin.
“Say my name again,” he groaned, gyrating against me.
“Aiden,” I responded as he moved against me causing a delicious friction between our bodies.
He started kissing me as his hands explored my body, claws extending and retracting to effectively slash away my sweater.
I gasped when a claw grazed my ribs as my shirt was also ripped down the middle.
Aiden recanted his claws and gently pushed the fabric away.
Cool air hit my hot skin. I faintly wished I hadn't opted for a plain black cotton bralette today.
"If I didn't find you insanely hot, this…
" He rolled his hips into mine and I felt his growing bulge.
"…wouldn't be happening. How many times do I have to tell you this?
Fuck, you could breathe in my direction and have me hard, Rose.
" He was looking down at me, pupils blown wide, and I squeezed my thighs tighter around his waist. He let out a strangled laugh, rolling into me again.
"I can smell your arousal." His voice was husky and self-satisfied.
My breath hitched as his hands pulled the strap of my bralette down my shoulder to kiss the skin there.
“Tell me, Rose.” Aiden now nipped at my ear. I was naked, save for my underthings, in his arms. My skin burned under his touch. “Are you going to go to someone else?”
I shook my head vehemently, now his hands splayed over my ribs, thumbs rubbing my bare skin.
“Do you want me to claim you? To mate with you?” Aiden growled, the vibrations in his chest pulsing against me.
In response I nodded, clutching him tighter as his hands travelled up to my breasts.
“Oh….Oh,” I moaned, fingernails digging into his shoulders.
“No one can have you, Rose. You’re mine,” growled Aiden.
I nodded, eyes closed, head thrown back. I felt hot everywhere, almostlike I was going into heat again, but I wasn’t.
Aiden cupped my chin, his thumb exerting pressure just below my lower lip, bringing my face to meet his eyes.
“I want you, Rose. I want you more than I’ve wanted anything or anyone else,” Aiden gritted out, breath hot on my face.
Aiden's voice became contrite, apologetic as he stared down at me and I noticed this change of tone. “I’m sorry for the past. I’m not stupid.
I know I’m the reason for you feeling the way you do.
I was an idiot when I was younger. But, Rose, if you want the truth, even back then I thought you were beautiful.
I loved your smile. I used to watch you when you were reading.
I used to look for you to make sure you were OK.
I wanted to make sure you were happy in our pack.
I listened to you when you said you could never mate with someone you didn't care about.
Do you remember when you told me that?" Aiden was looking down at me earnestly and histone was like he was begging me to understand him.
I remembered the first time we'd met and what I'd said to him about mating.
That’s not something I’d want to do with someone I didn’t care about or…or love.
But...did I love him? Was he waiting for me to say I loved him? I didn't even know if I loved him to be honest. Aiden was really the only person I'd ever been with. Was this love?
"I'm not expecting you to say anything to me, Rose. I just...wanted you to know that I heard you back then and I'm trying to honor your wish.”
And then he was gone, like a warm blanket being ripped away from me on a cold winter’s evening.
He pulled back, fists clenched. “But no matter how much I want you, or no matter what else is going on around us, our first time isn’t going to be because you want to be a hero.
It’s going to be because you want me just as much as I want you. ”
Well, I wanted him. That much I knew. Maybe it was because I saw the look in Aiden's eyes and wanted to assure him. Or maybe it was because I was hot and bothered and practically ready to beg him to mate with me.
Slowly, I sat up in bed, looking at Aiden straight in the eye, allowing his hot gaze to roam boldly over my form. I temporarily opened the block I'd put against his mind when he’d first marked me.
It was like a lightbulb clicked on in his brain. He almost staggered back from the intensity of it. He felt it: my desire, my feelings, me wanting him…my heart pounding in his ears as Istood there, nervous at opening up so completely.
“I want you,” I murmured, fingers entwined in the locks behind his head as his mouth dipped to bite his mark on my neck.
“I want you,” I repeated, as his lips trailed a path over my collarbone, pulling the straps of my bra down.
“I want you so much.” I gasped when his lips closed over my left nipple, sending me into a haze of lust I'd never experienced before.