Chapter 61
“Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” – Washington Irving
Rose's POV
I tossed and turned all night, sometimes waking up with a pounding headache, other times waking up and wanting to cry.
I’d looked at my phone before falling asleep but couldn’t remember the passcode.I’d seen the screensaver of myself and Aiden sitting together, his arms around my shoulders.
He looked at the camera smiling as if he was on cloud nine and his arms were around my shoulders while my body was pressed into his side.
What’s worse,I’d seen the way I looked at the camera.
Happy and utterly besotted with the man next to me.
I'd always thought, eventually, we would mate out of necessity, and he'd stay with Lexia while I found someone to keep me happy.
What had happened? My falling for Aiden was understandable.I'd always found him attractive.
But Aiden falling for me...how did that ever happen?
And thinking about it made me feel like my head was going to explode.
By the time I woke up the next day and began looking through the closet for clothes to wear, I realized two things:
1) This was a shared room.
2) My taste in clothing had gotten outrageously expensive.
But as I showered and shrugged into a comfortable pair of jeans and sweater, another thought struck me.
Where had Aiden slept last night if I’d slept in our room?
And didn’t he need his clothes? They were all here.
The guilt-ridden thought that he’d had to sleep in his clothes from yesterday and was in a room somewhere unable to get his own clothes entered my mind.
Horrified, I made my way downstairs, hoping to find him.
Aiden’s POV
“I’m going to take some time off,” I explained to Dylan and Tony as they sat in my study.
I’d slept on the couch in the TV room last night. My jeans and shirt were creased, my hair was still a mess, and I desperately needed a shower. But I’d wait until Rose was awake. She loved to sleep in, and I didn’t want to barge in and make her uncomfortable.
“Don’t worry. We’ve got it under control,” Dylan assured. Dylan was back to full health since Lexia found the antidote and administered it to him.
I smiled at my brothers. I wouldn’t be where I was without their support. Tony had always been there to back me up and Dylan had stepped in when I needed him.
“Thank you for everything,” I said, my voice brimming with emotion.
“I don’t think we deserve a thank you, not after what happened to Rose on our watch,” Dylan replied somberly. “We wanted to fight Alistair. Rose…Rose wouldn’t let us. She told us to wait for you. She knew you’d come back. But I wish we had challenged him. This wouldn’t have happened then.”
“She was protecting us,” Tony cut in. “She knew if you couldn’t defeat him, Dylan and I didn’t have a chance either.
Though I beg to differ. I could have taken Alistair, especially if I’d known she was pregnant.
It's probably why she didn't tell us anything.” Tony popped a knuckle angrily, “I’m still shaking at the thought that our luna, pregnant with our alpha’s son, went through so much to protect us all.
I should have never let her convince me to lay low. "
I looked out the window in my study.
“She really pulled one over on Alistair, and she’s pretty amazing. I don’t deserve her,” I said softly. I really didn’t.
There was a knock on my study door and my eyes widened in delight when Rose came inside.
“Hi, Tony!” Rose said happily, walking over and giving him a hug.
“Rosie, I’m so glad you’re OK.” Tony hugged her so hard, he practically lifted her off the floor.
I tried not to blanch, not to feel upset over the fact that Rose’s memory loss hadn’t affected her relationship with my brothers. Rose turned to hug Dylan as well.
“You’ve grown!” Rose gushed.
Dylan laughed and I noticed a clear expression of merriment in his eyes that had been practically dead for so long. Rose seemed to lift the spirits of everyone around her. “That’s right, you don’t remember. I’m an alpha.”
Rose’s eyes widened happily at the revelation.
I looked away, trying to control the surge of jealousy I felt towards my own brothers.
“Well, we should get going,” Tony said, noting the bitter look on my face.
Both my brothers filed out, leaving me and my luna staring at each other awkwardly. All I wanted to do was crush her against me, but I couldn't. This was torture.
“Did you sleep well?” I decided to inquire from Rose.
“I did.” Rose inclined her head before speaking her mind. “You can take your room. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize until this morning that…that…”
Rose was unable to say the words.
“That we share a room?” I supplied it kindly.
Rose blushed all the way to the roots of her hair. I smiled faintly. Though she didn’t do it as often now, Istill thought her blushes were adorable.
“Yeah,” she murmured.
“It’s fine. Keep sleeping there.” I got to my feet, ushering Rose towards the kitchen. “Come on, I’ll make you some coffee. Decaf.” I gave her a smile.
“I can make my own coffee,” Rose stated seriously.
“You sit down. I’ll take care of it,” I assured.
Rose looked like she wanted to protest, but instead she sat down on the stool in front of the kitchen counter.
“I can sleep in a guest bedroom,” Rose insisted.
“I’d like for you to keep sleeping in our room, Rose,” I said quietly as I put decaf coffee into the percolator.
“Where did you sleep?” Rose asked.
“On the couch.” My lips twitched at Rose’s outraged gasp.
“You have so many rooms in this house. Why’d you sleep on the couch? That can’t be very comfortable.”
“It’s not,” I agreed. I had a knot in my back and my neck was killing me. "But it's manageable.”
There was a brief silence and then, “Still, you should sleep in your own bed,” Rose stated.
I looked her square in the eye. “Will you still sleep there… if I do?”
Rose froze like a deer caught in the headlights. She looked like she would rather disappear into the floor than have this conversation.
“Um…no,” Rose finally said.
“Then we’re done talking about this,” I decided firmly.
Rose sat quietly and only spoke when I finally set her mug of coffee down in front of her.
“Do you have any cinnamon?”
I raised a brow at Rose in exasperation.
“You’ve already added it in,” Rose whispered in realization.
“Cut me some slack. I know how my mate likes her coffee.” I gave Rose a smirk.
Rose tried to hide a small smile behind her mug. An adorable shy smile with a blush staining her cheeks.
It made me remember words she said in the past, You look so cute when you smirk at me. It makes me blush.
Back then, I’d smirked at her again before taking her in my arms and kissing her senseless.
Would she let me do that now? Most likely not.
I was lost in my thoughts, but Rose's next words made me come back to the present. “You wouldn’t happen to know my passcode for my phone?” Rose queried, taking a few sips of coffee.
I took the phone from Rose, punching her passcode in and telling it to her verbally as well. My eyes remained on her wallpaper. It was a picture of the two of us from the last regional alpha meeting. It was a picture from when she’d loved me.
“Thanks,” Rose murmured as I abruptly slid the phone her way. We could get back to that point. Right?
“Lorraine has the day off. Actually, I asked her to stay home today. I was thinking, could we go out for breakfast?” I looked at her hopefully.
“Oh…um…I wanted to go see my dad today. And Auntie Hilda.”
My face fell but I quickly covered up my disappointment.
“Oh…sure. I can drop you,” I offered a little hesitantly, trying to tamp down on this feeling of rejection. She'd rather spend time away from me.
I reminded myself that Rose needed space.
“Oh...I can go on my own,” Rose replied flippantly. She gave me a half-teasing smile. “I still remember how to drive.”
I nodded curtly.
“Can I ask you something before I…before I go?” Rose ventured with a hint of trepidation in her voice.
I nodded a bit jerkily, swallowing back the ball of emotion in my throat.
“Did I manage it?” Her voice was a scared whisper.
“Manage what?” I asked blankly.
“When you first met me, you said…” Rose paused thoughtfully before forming her next words. “…you said I wouldn’t be able to manage to turn…into my wolf.”
My vocal cords knotted in my throat, regret rising like acid in my chest. Had I actually said that? I’d been such an asshole!
“I am so sorry I said that,” I managed to voice before taking a deep breath. I wanted to punch myself! “Your wolf is beautiful,” I croaked out. “You…you were amazing for your first turn.”
A smile broke out on Rose’s face.
“I’d been so worried after what you said. I thought that maybe everyone made a mistake about me. Maybe I couldn’t turn….I thought that I didn’t…deserve to be here,” Rose said the words a little sadly.
“I'm the one that doesn’t deserve to be here, Rose,” I whispered achingly as I watched her leave.
I couldn’t help but think the universe had a shrewd way of throwing my past mistakes into my face. Had my off-hand comments really caused this much turmoil and worry for Rose? The entire time, she’d always been worried about shifting and I’d been the reason.
Rose's POV
“So you and Dad mated?” I asked excitedly, sitting next to Auntie Hilda after dad had left us alone.
I’d noticed their matching rings and mingled scents. It was still such a surreal feeling, having such heightened senses. But I was acclimatizing slowly.
“You were much less enthusiastic the first time you found out,” Auntie Hilda commented with a raised eyebrow.
“I was? Well, that’s odd. Because right now, I can’t help but think how perfect you two actually are for each other.”
Auntie Hilda let out a small laugh. “Oh, Rose, I’m so happy you were released from the hospital!"
“Will you tell me what happened? No one’s telling me. Did I get into an accident or something?”
Auntie Hilda looked at me apologetically. “I think Dr. Danvers prefers for us to not disclose it right now. It would be too much information all at once.”
I looked down at my hands pensively.
“Am I happy with Aiden?”
“Extremely,” Auntie Hilda assured. “And the boy dotes on you. He’d build a temple in your name if he could.”
“Why? How did this happen? He didn’t want to be with me.”
“I think…I think as time passed, and you started spending more time with him, things just fell into place naturally. Your mating ceremony was divine.” Auntie Hilda spoke nostalgically as she reminisced about memories I was not privy to.
I’d mated with someone, had a mating ceremony too, and didn’t even remember. I was about to have a child with someone I didn’t even remember being with.
Were we just fulfilling the requirement to mate or was there something more between us?
“There’s no pressure to try and remember,” Auntie Hilda scolded lightly. “Dr. Danvers said when it happens, it happens.”
“And what if it never happens?” It was a definite possibility; I had concluded internally.
“Well, we’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.” Auntie Hilda patted my hand reassuringly before getting up to go put dinner on the stove.
I looked down at my phone’s wallpaper, staring at Aiden’s face. I’d never seen such an expression of devotion on Aiden’s face, ever. At least not directed at me.
A blinding headache threatened to split my skull open, and I finally dropped my phone, clutching my head in my hands.