Chapter 20
Grim
Misha’s screams echoed in Grim’s skull as soon as there was nothing to distract him. He listened to them all the way to Detroit, because Misha was distant and spent the whole time pretending to be asleep. Grim could still hear the cries when he sat at the oval table in the Coffin Nails MC chapter. It was slowly getting darker outside, and with the blinds only partially open, the room looked as if it had been covered by a widow’s veil—greyish and flat. Some of the members of the club were already here.
Don, the oldest, was cooped up in the corner with cigarette smoke matching the white of his long thin hair. Blitz’s bald head reflected the faint light coming from the window behind him. The president, Priest, sat at the top of the table with his arms crossed on his chest, the white dusting of hair on his forearms showing off his age much more than the bright, attentive eyes that looked at Grim from underneath wickedly crooked eyebrows. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath since Grim arrived, for once driving a truck, not the old-fashioned motorcycle that hadn’t been between Grim’s legs for far too long.
This chapter might have been the first to have an openly gay permanent member, but that didn’t mean all the patches were completely comfortable with Grim showing up with a man for the first time. He could feel their judgmental stares even as they gave Grim a key to a room on the second floor and agreed to hold a meeting when he asked for it. He was so angry from sensing the heat behind those stares on his skin and yet too pumped out to make a big deal out of it. At least they made an effort and didn’t say any stupid shit .
A new guy, tall and longhaired, glanced at Grim every now and then without a word, and an anonymous prospect leaned against the wall, biting his nails and spitting them to the floor. Grim was on the verge of smacking him for that and telling him to collect all the biological waste, but considering he came seeking a favor, he needed to play nice.
“Can’t we start already?” groaned Milk, a blond guy in his thirties with a big nose and an even bigger mouth. Grim had heard quite a few tales about the guy’s stupid escapades.
Priest sighed. “Tooth’s still on his way. Play with your phone if you’re that impatient.”
Grim smirked despite the gloomy atmosphere. For a long time, Tooth had been the only gay Coffin Nail Grim knew of, and they even shared some good times when they were still both unattached. It would be nice to see the man again.
Milk wouldn’t get to play any Candy Crush though. The sound of Tooth’s heavy boots resounded outside, and he rushed in seconds later with his wild dark hair in disarray, partially flattened from wearing a helmet, but his beard was as immaculate as always. One of the perks of having a barber for a boyfriend.
Grim stood up and reached out his hand to Tooth, who looked at it, pulled off his glove, and gave Grim’s palm a firm squeeze. “What’s the occasion?” he asked and nodded at the prospect, who stormed out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Priest leaned back. “Grim wanted to talk to the whole club. Sit with us, apparently this will take a while.”
Tooth glanced at Grim and slid into his chair at Priest’s side. “What’s up?”
Don breathed out a cloud of smoke that could kill a three-year-old child with its sheer toxicity. “Grim has a man now. He brought him here.”
Grim clenched his jaw but didn’t say anything, knowing he could not afford a violent argument when Don wasn’t openly confrontational. Not at a time like this.
When Tooth frowned, Grim leaned back into his chair, focusing on the VP. “That’s true. I’ve had him for the last month.”
Tooth put his forearms on the table and groaned. “Good for you. You brought us here to tell us about your wedding plans?”
“Why, you want to host it? Wouldn’t mind a nice haircut,” said Grim, keeping a straight face when Milk let out a strangled chuckle .
Tooth pinched the bridge of his nose. “Stop with the bullshit. You wouldn’t call us all for a meeting if it wasn’t important. Spill.”
Grim tapped his fingers on the glass of water he was treated to and raised his eyes to all the men present. All humor was gone from his mind. “You surely heard about the issue with a trafficking gang in Louisiana,” he said, and just like that, all eyes were on him.
He made sure to leave out some of the more intimate details, but he related the whole story of Misha’s capture, the hunt after Misha, the chip in his leg, the abuse, the torture, and finally—the newest development—Zero. By the time he was done, the need to find Misha and hold him close was so overwhelming he had to convince himself not to go.
There were no silly gay jokes and not even a hint of a smirk on the faces of his brothers. Priest nodded. “What can we do?”
Grim clawed his fingers into the armrests and looked Priest straight in the eye, with fire blazing in his chest. “Can’t let this fucker live. No one will disrespect me, and no one will torment my property. But to get close to him, I need that kill.”
Priest exchanged glances with Tooth. “We have enemies, but there’s no one we can have just disappear right now. We’ll have to talk it through, think of the options, ask if another state has anyone convenient.”
“Doesn’t have to be anyone important,” said Grim. “Come on, there is always some rogue dealer or a guy that looks at you funny.”
Tooth frowned. “We’re not a slot machine full of prospective deadies. We have to think about this strategically.”
Grim huffed. “Is there really no one you really want to fuck up, but your morals won’t let you touch? I am your man. Just use me.”
Milk leaned closer over the table just as Tooth was about to answer. “I know a guy who fuckin’ deserves it.”
Priest’s sharp gaze strangled the air out of him even before Grim could ask. “Shut up. We can’t have him take care of some petty personal vendetta.”
“Well, I need to kill someone. Might as well be a guy who owes Milk a hundred bucks. I don’t care,” said Grim, increasingly agitated.
“That wouldn’t have my approval,” said Tooth. “You’re way too precious for the club to take a risk over something petty.”
Grim’s fingers were itching to strangle and maim. All he needed was a target. And then, once he got into Zero’s proximity, he’d find a way to kill the shitstain .
Milk groaned and leaned back in his chair.
“We’ll find a way,” Priest said, and it seemed that was the last word on the topic.
Tooth nodded, stroking his beard with a deepening scowl. “This Zero guy and his whole organization … It’s some dark shit.”
“No kidding,” said Grim, playing with the glass. The damn flash drive burning in the fire came to his mind and made him scowl. If only Misha hadn’t gotten rid of that data, maybe they could go after Zero with more ease. “The fucker’s a sadist. He’s only gonna get more ruthless if he goes unpunished.”
“Considering the raid in Louisiana, we’ve practically already gone to war with them.” Priest shook his head. “I feel your thirst for vengeance, but we need to think this through.”
“The two of you can stay here in the meantime. You know it’s safe,” added Tooth.
Grim nodded, utterly unconvinced. He only had a few days left to go through with Zero’s demands, and if the club wouldn’t give him anything, he’d have to pick out a random person, something he hadn’t done in years. Since he’d joined the club, the guys at Charleston had shaped him. They made him realize that attacking random people was not the way forward. There were too many ruthless bastards who needed to be executed instead. Grim kept to that rule, killed only when the club asked him too, but Misha’s safety and Zero’s demise were of utmost importance now. Grim would break the neck of an old lady if it got him any closer to getting his hands on Zero.
Once it was settled that the meeting was over, Tooth got up and patted Grim’s back. “We’ll work this out for you, brother. Just need to be smart about it.”
Grim sighed but accepted the gesture. Tooth was so tight-assed sometimes. He was all about the rules, and while that was sometimes beneficial, this wasn’t one of those situations. “Did you guys move the issue I talked to you about?”
Tooth stepped back, and behind him, Grim saw Milk glancing back at him, but for now, it was wiser to ignore him. “The documents ... they were for that boy? Your … boyfriend?” Grim nodded, and Tooth folded his arms on his chest. “We’re close to finalizing everything you asked for.”
The rest of the guys got up from the table as well, some of them already leaving, but the atmosphere was somber. It seemed that no one really wanted to talk about torture and broken birds with no legs .
Grim nodded and smiled at Tooth, relieved that at least something was going his way. “Thanks, brother. I appreciate it.”
Tooth gave him a nod. “Come down for a drink in the evening. I should be at the club.”
Grim patted Tooth’s shoulder. “I’ll try to convince Misha to come with me.”
They exchanged a few more words, but then Don wanted to speak to Tooth about some accounting, and Grim was free to go and see how Misha was doing. His feet guided him up the old creaking stairs, but instead of an empty corridor, he saw Milk leaning against the wall by Grim’s door and smoking a cigarette.
Grim stretched and slowly approached the brother. “You want a word?”
Milk nodded and looked behind Grim to make sure they were alone. “I don’t care what Tooth and Priest say. I’ve got a kill for you.”
“Oh, yeah?” asked Grim and leaned against the wall, already sensing the buzz of a lead at the back of his mind. “Who is it?”
“There’s a guy who molested kids and got off on a technicality. Those kids were in the same class as my own daughter. It could have been my kids this sick fuck targeted.” Milk clenched his fists and rubbed the butt of his cigarette into the wall. “I want justice to be served, but I’ve got a family, man. If I go there and leave some evidence, I’m fucked.”
Grim smiled. “I like that,” he said, lighthearted for once. “Give me all I need to know, and I’ll be on his case. Should he just disappear?”
Milk pulled out a piece of paper and passed it to Grim. “It’s best if the body doesn’t resurface.”
Grim looked at the little card and smacked Milk’s back. “You’re a lifesaver. Thanks.”
Milk finally smiled. “No. Thank you .” He put his hands in his pockets and quickly walked off.
Grim didn’t hesitate and rushed inside his and Misha’s room, with his heart drumming. “Success. I’ve got us a kill,” he said as he closed the door.
Misha was sitting on the bed with yet another book of sudoku. He gave Grim a faint smile. “Who is it?”
Grim laughed and rolled on the bed, spreading out on his stomach and playfully grabbing Misha’s stump. “A child molester.” The muscle in the stump twitched, and Grim glanced at the other one, where the fresh scar was healing nicely .
“That’s good. I suppose.”
Grim crawled closer, resting his cheek on the stump and lazily breathing in its clean scent. “Just don’t tell anyone. It’s off the books.”
Misha frowned. “I wouldn’t.”
“I mean, don’t tell anyone here,” explained Grim and pulled on the paperback, itching for Misha’s undivided attention. Why wasn’t he happier? Grim could relate to him being nervous during the ride here, but everything would be fine and dandy from now on.
“That’s fine. I get it.” Misha put away the book and looked into Grim’s eyes as if he were searching for an answer to a question he didn’t ask.
Grim brushed his fingers over Misha’s stomach, looking up into his tense face. “What is it? Aren’t you happy?”
“I don’t know. We’ll be just like those people who paid to watch me suffer. They won’t know it’s a bad person getting what he deserves. They’ll just have another horrific thing to fap over.”
“I can’t kill every single sicko on the planet. Better him than someone innocent. Don’t you think that was the merit behind public executions? Apparently, people loved that shit. Humans are bloodthirsty. Even now.”
“Sure, I’d want to see Zero’s brains all over the wall, but that’s not what I’m saying. We’re going to be another cog in Zero’s meat grinder. He does whatever the fuck he wants.”
Grim got to his knees and grabbed Misha’s hand. “I’m not gonna let him live after ... seeing what he did to you,” he said quietly, chasing away the memories of the film. “You know that, don’t you?”
But Misha looked away. “I don’t think we can stop him. I think he’ll get what he wants, suck even more out of me, and leave to hurt someone else. We’ll be lucky if we get Dennis in one piece.”
Anger simmered somewhere deep in Grim. “Why do you believe in him more than you believe in me?”
“It’s not about that.” Misha groaned and pulled his hand out of Grim’s. “I just want all of this to stop hurting, coming back over and over again. I want to forget it, and I can’t. He won’t let me. I want to help Dennis, because it’s my fault he’s now trapped, but I don’t really know anymore if I want you to go after Zero.”
“Really? What about the things I want?” hissed Grim, clenching his teeth.
“What do you want?” Misha crossed his arms on his chest .
“I want to bleed him and fuck his ass with his own cock.” Grim gave Misha a hard stare, unable to comprehend this backtracking. “If he lives, he can always come back. Death is the only permanent solution there is. Think of it as pest control.”
Misha didn’t object, but he didn’t look too happy either. “When do we go?” His eyes were like a wall, blocking Grim out.
Grim huffed, unsure what to do with this kind of rejection. Didn’t he prove to Misha already that he was more than capable of keeping him safe? Then again, he couldn’t keep him safe from that vile video. “I don’t know ... tomorrow?”
“Do you have a place to … film it?” Misha picked up the damn book again as if they were talking about getting lunch tomorrow, but Grim pulled it out of his grasp and tossed it farther down the mattress. That got Misha’s attention.
“I’ll think of somewhere.”
For a moment, Misha stared at the sudoku. “Good. Good that you’ll think of everything, and you’re invincible.”
Grim stiffened, trying to stare Misha down with no effect. “Are you mocking me?”
“Sorry,” he said, which at least sounded honest. “I’m not in a good place.”
Grim relaxed and sat back on his heels, unable to shake off the overwhelming sense of anger at Misha judging him so lightly. It was as if Misha couldn’t see any of the good things Grim did for him and only focused on the negatives. But it wasn’t Grim who was running.
“Can we do it tonight?” Misha asked after a long silence, sliding his fingertips over the small pink scar on his stump.
“There’s a party tonight. We can’t just disappear, or the prez will be suspicious I’m going behind his back.” He watched Misha carefully. Would that cause yet another fit of passive-aggressive anger?
“I don’t have to go, right?” Misha inched away on the bed.
Grim grabbed the comforter. He would not simply take this. “Maybe if you hadn’t burned the flash drive, we could have already found Zero.”
That put a fire under Misha, as if he were struck by a match. “Oh, excuse me for trying to forget how I got my legs sawn off and trying to put years of abuse behind me!”
“Sure. That’s much more important than possibly saving hundreds of people in your situation. ”
Misha reached out and slapped him.
He actually slapped him.
He hit Grim’s face with an open palm. It was such a shock to Grim’s system that for a moment he was too choked up to speak. He pulled in some air through his nose, staring at Misha while his cheek burned as if someone touched it with a hot iron.
“I’m not going to some stupid party,” Misha hissed and scrambled away on the bed, not daring to look up at Grim.
Grim laughed and massaged his cheek, following Misha with his eyes, even though the firm scaffolds of their relationship that he built up in his head suddenly seemed all-too frail. “I kill for you. I keep you safe. I feed you. I give you my undivided attention, but the moment I say something you don’t like, that’s what you have for me, you ungrateful brat?”
Misha hit the wall with the back of his head and hid his face in his hands. “Because you’re right. I should have kept that fucking flash drive, but I was too afraid to use a computer to even check what was on it. Fuck!”
“How is that my fault?”
“Because you’re so confident and brave. It’s as if all the bravery I had was in my legs. Zero took it, and I’m now this living, breathing bundle of fear, and I can’t help it.”
Grim took a deep breath. “I still don’t know how this made me deserve this.”
“I have to look at you and see everything I’m not. It’s not your fault, but I don’t feel good about any of this either.” Misha kept his face in his hands, as if not looking at Grim could somehow save him from the consequences of his actions. Or from the world around him.
“So you hit me because I’m so great that you hate me for it?” offered Grim, more deflated by the second. This was not how he imagined their honeymoon period.
Misha looked up with new fire in his eyes. “You were being spiteful.”
“No. I’m fucking disappointed,” said Grim and rolled off the bed. He couldn’t believe all this was coming from a boy who recently declared his love to him.
“You know I feel guilty over all these other people, so that’s where you hit.”
“Whatever. You can do your sudoku,” said Grim, replacing the old T-shirt with a new one.
Misha bared his teeth and grabbed the book. “And you can go to your party. ”
Grim glanced back at him and stormed out of the room, slamming the door as hard as he could. He wanted to get smashed tonight and forget all about the sour qualities of his boyfriend. Ripping into the pedophile couldn’t come soon enough.