Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
I t had already been three days since the incident in the drawing room, but Eloise had yet to see Felix again. Since their brief tryst, she had felt lost and full of yearning and ached to see him.
Her eyes scanned the words in her book, but she was unable to retain a single sentence. Her thoughts drifted relentlessly to Felix, to his hands, his scent and the memory of his mouth on hers. The way he had looked at her as he left, his eyes filled with unreadable intensity. It had all left her restless and unsettled.
Even his parting words had excited her although they were vaguely threatening, and that made no sense to her at all.
He is turning my mind to mush.
She had picked a particularly dry book. Not a romance novel like she would normally choose but a book about the emergence of industry in the north of England. She had hoped the dry, cold facts would do something to cool the flames that still roared inside her. Despite her efforts, the distraction did nothing to ease her dilemma. There was nothing that would.
Felix could.
She sighed restlessly and closed the book with a soft thud. She could barely sit still. Her body was flushed with an ache that would not be quelled by mere words. Felix had left her incomplete, and she needed more. So much more.
A self-conscious blush swept over her as she struggled with the idea of abandoning the library for her chambers. It was not the act itself—she’d done that often enough—but never in the middle of the day.
She chewed on her bottom lip, considering her options. On impulse she finally rose and hurried to her room.
“Are you all right, Your Grace?” Mrs. Thorpe asked as she passed her in the hallway.
Eloise almost choked on her words. She had been so distracted by her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed the housekeeper walking towards her.
“A little headache,” she lied. “I think… I think it is best if I lie down.”
“Good idea,” Mrs. Thorpe said. “I will instruct one of the girls to bring you up a soothing tea.”
“No!” Eloise said a bit too forcefully. She offered Mrs. Thorpe a weak smile. “No, I meant to say it is quite all right. I would rather be left alone to sleep.”
“Of course, Your Grace,” Mrs. Thorpe said with a nod. “I will see to it that you are not disturbed. I hope you feel better soon.”
Eloise smiled then slipped quickly into her rooms. She fell against the closed door and let out a long breath, feeling much like a criminal sneaking away, not a lady retiring to her room a little early.
Did she guess? Does she know?
Eloise shook her head. She doubted Mrs. Thorpe had any clue of her true intentions, but even if she did, it wasn’t going to stop her. The fire between her legs had burned for days and she had to put an end to it.
Even Felix has urged me to do it.
She moved to her bed while pulling at the laces to loosen the stays of her bodice. She slipped free of her day clothes and lay back against the cool sheets, not even bothering to cover herself with a blanket.
There was something sensual about the air on her bare flesh. She shut her eyes, trying to summon memories of his touch and his voice.
She trailed her fingers over her breasts, circling one nipple. She imagined the warmth of Felix’s tongue running across it, but the image blurred in her mind.
Instead, she moved her fingers downwards, first tickling her belly, then reaching between her legs. Her thighs were already slick with her desire, ready for a man to take her.
For Felix to take me.
She parted herself as she licked her lips, the sensation of her own touch sending shivers of pleasure through her. She imagined herself pinned against the wall, Felix’s body pressed onto hers. She remembered the roughness with which he had grabbed her and the way his manhood had greedily probed her thigh.
Frustratingly, her mind grew muddled as her fingers trailed over her skin, unable to truly capture the intensity he stirred in her. The longer she tried to find relief the further away it seemed to get. It was a pale imitation of what she longed for.
She huffed and gave up, covering her face with her hands in exasperation. Her body ached to be satisfied, and she felt a sharp pang of emotional longing. He was so close yet so completely unreachable. She pulled the blanket over herself and fell into a restless sleep.
By the time she had awoken and composed herself enough to make her way to the dining room, the setting sun had painted the room in warm hues, casting golden shadows across the table.
To her surprise, Felix sat at its head, his posture impeccably straight, and his eyes focused on a letter that lay on the table. He glanced up at her arrival with an unreadable glint in his gaze.
I see nothing has changed.
“Good evening,” he greeted, rising slightly as she took her seat across from him. There was a formal distance between them that was somehow more painful than a confrontation.
“Good evening,” she replied coolly as she arranged the napkin on her lap. She tried to shake off her frustration enough to manage polite conversation. “I am pleased to see you have finally decided to join me for dinner. I was beginning to wonder when?—”
“I have been busy, Eloise,” he said sharply.
He put the letter to one side as the maids began bringing in their dinner. The air filled with the scent of roasted guinea fowl and rich gravy, crisp roast potatoes and boiled carrots.
The pair began to eat immediately, the clinking of utensils filling the quiet room. After a while Eloise could no longer tolerate the impenetrable silence.
“Has the weather not been delightful today?” she said, hoping to lure him into a conversation.
“Indeed,” he replied although he didn’t bother to look up at her.
The silence resumed. Eloise sliced into her meat, her knife scraping across the porcelain. The wine glugged as Felix’s glass was refilled. He cleared his throat.
“Mrs. Thorpe tells me you were unwell this afternoon. I trust you are now feeling better?”
Eloise felt her cheeks warm. She looked down at her plate, her lips pressed together, and merely nodded. “Y-yes. Just a headache. Nothing serious.”
“Good.”
Again, they fell into the quiet routine of eating. Eloise’s mind whirred in desperation for something to say that would encourage him but nothing clever came to her. She stole a glance across the table, her thoughts drifting to their previous encounters—those rare, stolen moments when intimacy had come so easily.
Sometimes it seems as though Felix is two different men encased in one body.
Finally, as the plates were scraped clean and dessert was served, Felix spoke again.
“We received an invitation this afternoon,” he said simply. “Lady Brimsleigh is hosting a ball next week. She is rather insistent that we attend.”
Eloise’s fingers stilled on her wine glass as a flutter of enthusiasm filled her chest. She hadn’t expected it, but the notion of attending a ball with Felix, a proper occasion where she would be the center of his attention, felt surprisingly exciting.
She had never before cared for such things, but then she’d never had Felix for a husband.
“Do you think we should go?” she asked, keeping her tone light though her pulse quickened as she spoke.
It would also be a chance to see Hannah and perhaps her mother—two people who were once her entire life. She wondered what she would say when Hannah asked about married life. Would she be honest?
“I do not see that we have much of a choice,” Felix replied. “Lady Brimsleigh has a remarkable talent for persuading people to do exactly as she wishes, and you already know, I can never refuse my aunt anything.”
Eloise tilted her head, concealing her growing interest behind a carefully raised eyebrow. “Persuasiveness must run in the family.”
Felix’s eyes met hers with a flicker of amusement. “Perhaps. In any event, we shall attend.”
“As you wish,” she replied, looking at him from beneath her lashes and hoping he wouldn’t detect her true desires.