Chapter 3
NIKOLAI
Idropped my book when I heard the doorknob rattle. I hadn’t actually been reading. I’d been staring at the same page for ages, unable to stop thinking about Lorenzo and the way he’d looked at me when he’d congratulated me on my sham of a marriage.
And then later, when he’d stared at me out of the library window.
Had he known I’d gone to walk in the rose garden?
Had he chosen that room just so he could watch me?
The way he’d looked at me made me think he knew how I reacted to his presence.
My whole body felt like it was on fire when he looked at me.
He acted like he wanted to devour me. I should be terrified.
Instead, I wanted to offer myself at his feet.
He’d worn a dark gray suit. The jacket stretched across his shoulders, and the pants clung to his muscular thighs.
The way his nearly black hair curled over his collar and the tattoos on his hands contrasted perfectly with the formal attire and made him look as dangerous as he was.
What would happen if I sneaked out of my room and found him? What would he do if I told him I’d fantasized about him since the first time we met?
The knob shook again. Who was at my door?
No one besides my father was likely to look for me, and he knew where I was since he was the one who’d locked me in and told me I’d regret it if I left this room before dawn.
If he’d forgotten his key, he would just pound on it or yell for me to open it. No one else should be here.
The knob continued to move. Whoever was out there was determined to get in. I heard scraping sounds. Were they trying to pick the lock? I grabbed the heavy brass candlestick from my bedside table and moved closer to the door. I held it over my shoulder, ready to swing on whoever entered.
My father had warned me to stay away from all of his guests.
He’d implied that some of them would do anything to prevent my marriage to Alina, but then, so would I.
I didn’t dislike her. If I had to marry a woman, she might be my first pick.
I actually admired the hell out of her for trying to stand up to her father.
She was stuck marrying me when we both knew I would actually be her father’s toy, and my father might expect the same services from her.
I’d be expected to get her pregnant, but after that, we might not even see each other.
I’d be in Ivanov’s bed or wherever he kept the young men he fucked.
I wanted one of my father’s associates to prevent it, but considering the company my father kept, whoever was trying to get in could be even worse than my future father-in-law.
The lock clicked open. I readied myself. I might be small, but I could do this. I could defend myself. I had a feeling I was going to need the few fighting skills I’d learned even more once I was married.
The door opened slowly. I jumped out at the intruder, but he caught my arm before I could bring the candlestick down on his head. When I looked up at him, I sucked in my breath in shock.
“Drop it,” Lorenzo demanded.
When I didn’t obey, he squeezed my arm tighter.
“Drop the candlestick. Nikolai. I’m not here to hurt you.”
I did as he said, letting myself really look at him. He was tall, at least six foot three, and his broad shoulders strained the jacket of his tux. His dark eyes seemed to look right into me, but his lips were full and soft, and Jesus, I could barely breathe.
“Wh-what are you doing here?”
“I think you know why I’m here.” His gaze slid down my body. I wasn’t wearing anything besides the silky robe I’d put on after my shower.
Lorenzo’s eyes met mine again, and his smile promised things I’d only fantasized about. I couldn’t have those things, no matter how much I wanted them. I wasn’t allowed to be with a man before my wedding. Ivanov had demanded a virgin, and my father was happy to deliver one up.
I took a step back. “I have no idea why you would dare to break into my room. You need to leave.”
He didn’t move. “Did your father lock you in?”
“Yes.” There was no point in lying. He knew what kind of man my father was.
“Are you happy with the way he controls you, chooses your wife for you, or should I say your lover? You’re really a gift for Ivanov, aren’t you?”
How did he know my father was really giving me to Alina’s father? No one was supposed to know that. “It doesn’t matter what makes me happy.”
“What if it did?”
I shook my head. I didn’t need that kind of temptation. I knew what had happened to my sister when she tried to defy our father’s rule. She was a shell of herself now. That wouldn’t happen to me. “You need to leave.”
“But what do you need?”
That wasn’t a question I dared answer. He walked toward me, and I took another step backward.
“Haven’t you wondered?”
“Wondered what?”
“What it would be like to be with a man?” Lorenzo moved another step closer.
I thought about it every night when I lay in bed, when I watched a hot movie, when I jerked off.
“Has a man ever touched you, Nikolai?”
I took another step back and hit the wall. My heart raced, and the floor seemed to tilt under me. Lorenzo braced his hands on the wall, caging me in. I froze when he leaned forward and pressed his face to my neck, then breathed in deeply.
“I… I could scream and—”
“You aren’t going to do that. You know your father would blame you if he found me here. If you were going to summon anyone, you would have screamed when I first came in.”
He was right, but this was insane. I should scream.
I should fight. I should do whatever it took to get this man away from me, but I didn’t want to.
I wanted to know what he intended to do because the feelings he stirred in me weren’t like the fear I felt when Ivanov had looked me over, touching me as if I were a piece of meat he was inspecting for dinner.
His touches had revolted me so much I’d almost vomited on him.
Lorenzo slid a hand under the lapel of my robe. “You’re naked under here, aren’t you. It’s almost like you were waiting for me.”
I shook my head. “No. I showered and…”
He gave me the smile that said he wanted to eat me alive. For some fucking reason, I still wanted to let him. “And…” he prompted.
“I started reading, then you came to the door.”
“Reading? That’s all? You weren’t thinking about me, about how I was watching you?”
“Why?”
He raised his brows.
“Why were you watching me?”
He leaned in again, running his nose up my neck, then speaking right into my ear. “You know why.”
This couldn’t be happening. “I… I’m too young for you and too… And I’ve never…”
“I could help you with that.”
My whole body was overheating. Lorenzo was so close and so overwhelming.
He couldn’t know it, but he’d starred in almost every fantasy I’d had for the last four years.
I’d first seen him when I was eighteen and about to be sent to Chicago with my mother, to continue my studies privately instead of being exposed to the world at college.
He was the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen, and that remained true, but I couldn’t go through with this. I had to make him leave.
My father might literally kill me if he caught me with Lorenzo. He’d at least find a way to hurt me. Would Ivanov care if I were covered in bruises at the wedding?
Don’t you want to know what it’s like to fuck a man before you’re stuck with only Ivanov until he tires of you?
“Look at me.” Lorenzo’s voice was low and soft. I couldn’t help myself. I looked up and met his eyes.
When he cupped my face in his hands, I melted back against the wall. His hands were huge. I knew he could easily hurt me with them, but they were warm, comforting. He brushed his thumbs over my cheekbones, and I sighed, loving the rough feel of his calloused fingers.
“Have you ever been kissed by a man?”
I… um… I had to swallow before I could reply. I’d messed around with guys in high school but never felt much of anything with them. Compared to Lorenzo, they were clearly still boys. “I’ve… um… done some things, but not kissing.”
“Hmm. Have you kissed a girl?”
“Yes.” My only kiss had been with a girl who’d forced the issue at a dance. As soon as the kiss had ended, I’d run from her.
“Have you ever had a kiss that made your knees weak, made you think you were going to pass out, made you long for someone more than you’ve ever longed for anything?”
My eyes went wide, and my gaze dropped to his lips. “No.”
“Then get ready.”
“I can’t… I’m not…”
He kissed me, and I couldn’t protest anymore.
Maybe this was a dream. I’d had plenty where he was the star.
This couldn’t be real, could it? My fantasy man couldn’t be here.
I could never be that lucky or that cursed.
If I didn’t do something to stop him, I might have the best night of my life, but it might also be my last.