Chapter 27 Nikolai
NIKOLAI
Iclosed the door behind me and hurried to the far side of the room. I did not want Lorenzo to hear me cry. I sank down in the corner under a tiny window and dropped my head onto my knees as the tears came. I bit my lips to keep my sobs quiet as my body shook.
I wanted to believe that Lorenzo really needed to keep watching from the couch, but I’d seen the expression on his face when he looked at me. He’d turned cold and impassive, the way he’d pretended to be when he congratulated me on my engagement. Was he already done with me?
Last night, when he fucked me, I thought maybe it was more to him than just a way to get off.
He’d touched something deep inside me, and I thought he might have felt that too.
Then, when I’d woken scared by my dream and he’d sucked my cock, not even insisting on his own climax, I’d thought he really cared.
That was all for me. He couldn’t possibly see that was payment.
I guess I’d let my fantasies take over. Had I really thought he was going to confess his love, sweep me into his arms, and tell me he’d marry me?
Maybe not quite that, but I at least thought he wanted to keep me with him as long as he could.
I thought there was something special between us, something more than him wanting to fuck me as revenge or my father or me offering my body as payment.
Apparently, I was as much of a fucking idiot as my father always said.
I brushed away the last of my tears. At least I was safe here with Lorenzo, and I wouldn’t have to go back to my father.
I wasn’t going to have all my fantasies come true.
Lorenzo wasn’t actually my Prince Charming, but he was going to protect me and help me find somewhere to go far away from my father’s family.
He might not want me anymore, but he would never hurt me unless it came to a choice between me and his brothers.
That was far better odds than I’d ever had with my father or when my mother and I were exiled.
I stood and unzipped the backpack I’d tossed on the bed.
I’d intended to look through the things someone—surely not Remington himself—had picked up for me, but I’d stuffed the T-shirt Lorenzo had loaned me on top, so that was the first thing I saw.
I pulled it out and brought it to my face, inhaling deeply.
His scent still lingered there, and despite my anger at him, the smell calmed me.
“Niko?”
I jumped. Lorenzo was standing in my doorway. I dropped the shirt as heat filled my cheeks. “You could have knocked.”
He nodded. “I could have.”
I frowned. He looked uncertain. “What do you need?”
“To see you.”
“I thought you were sleeping on the couch.”
He shrugged. “It’s not bedtime yet.”
“Close enough.” It was only eight o’clock, so that wasn’t true at all.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed about the shirt. It turns me on to know you want my scent on you.” Why the fuck did he have to say things like that, and why did they make my knees weak?
“Did you sleep with my tie after I left it? Did you like that it smelled like me?”
“Don’t do this, Lorenzo. Don’t push me away one minute, then come in here saying things like that.”
“I’m not pushing you away.”
He moved close enough that I could reach out and touch him, but I didn’t. “Yes, you are. Are you telling me you’re really just sleeping on the couch for better protection when you slept in the bed with me last night?”
“This is a completely different situation.”
“Yes, one where we’re much less likely to be found. Lorenzo, be honest with me. If I’ve repaid you all I owed, if you’re tired of me, just say so. Don’t lead me on.”
Lorenzo clasped my face in his hands, and I couldn’t look away from his eyes.
There was pain there, pain like I felt in my chest. “I could never get tired of you, Niko. Remington told me to keep my hands off you. He told me you would have to leave town once your father was gone. I… I didn’t want to make leaving you even harder. ”
How was I supposed to fight what I was feeling? “I did sleep with your tie. I used it to wipe my tears. I didn’t want you to leave. I didn’t want reality to come back.”
He kissed my forehead, and I shivered. I needed this, needed his touch, for him to soothe me, but what was I going to do in a few days when it was all over? “This reality is so much better, but what happens when this is over? Where will I go then?”
“I don’t know. We’ll figure that out. We’ll find you somewhere safe to go.”
I nodded and pulled away from him. “Okay. We should probably go to sleep now.” I unzipped an inside pocket on the backpack where I’d put Lorenzo’s watch. I was afraid it would be damaged as we traveled through the bayou. I pulled it out. “You should take this back.”
Lorenzo glared at me. He made no move to take the watch, and I could feel anger rolling off him. He wanted to be the one in control, and I’d wanted that too, but not right now. Not when I knew I’d be sent away soon
Are you so sure about that? Would you rather enjoy these last few days? Why not let him fuck you, teach you all the things you’ve always wanted to know?
“Niko, is that really what you want?” Did he know I was questioning myself?
“I want you to stop toying with me. If you want me, then take me, but don’t make it any more than that. I can’t fall any harder for you.” I heard him suck in his breath at my unintended confession, but I kept going. “I won’t recover once you send me away. I’m not strong like that.”
“You’re wrong. You are so fucking strong.
You risked everything to run away from your father, and you kept yourself alive all those years that you were under his control, even through the abuse and neglect.
Somehow, you’re still an amazing person despite the examples you were given. That takes incredible strength.”
I’d never felt strong. I’d just felt like I was surviving.
“You deserve so much, baby. Even if you could stay, I’m not a good person. You don’t want to be part of what my family does.”
Anger surged through me. I turned and shoved at his chest. His face registered shock as he took a few stumbling steps back. “Everyone always makes decisions about what I want. Everyone but me.”
“Nikolai? Are you saying—”
I sighed. What was the point? Why not have another hot night to remember later.
“Nothing. Just forget I said anything. I’d be a fool not to enjoy you while you’re here.
What difference will it make anyway? You can already tell I’ll be a mess when you leave me.
I might as well enjoy a few more good fucks first.”
Lorenzo’s mouth dropped open, and then a hard look showed on his face. “Then get on your knees. You haven’t paid me nearly enough.”
He grabbed my good hand and fastened the watch around my wrist. “You keep this on, do you hear me?”
“Y-es.”
“Good. Now, open your mouth.”
This time, there was no buildup, no attempt to let me adjust to the feel of his cock stretching my mouth, filling my throat, cutting off my air. It was rough and filthy and hot as fuck. My cock was hard before I’d even opened my mouth for him.
I fought to suck in air through my nose. Lorenzo drove into my mouth hard, nearly knocking me off my knees. He pulled back and pushed in again, holding himself there. I gagged around him as I pushed at his thigh with my good hand. I was desperate for air.
“This time, you’re going to find out what it’s like for me to use you thoroughly. This time, I’m going to come down your throat, and you better swallow every fucking drop.”
He finally pulled back enough to let me breathe. I sucked in a breath, knowing he wasn’t going to wait long.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
I did. The look on his face was dark, angry. I should be terrified, but I was so turned on I couldn’t think. “Don’t you dare touch yourself, and don’t even think about coming in your pants. I’ll decide if you get to come tonight or not, depending on how well you pay me. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
“Good. Now, open wide.”
He thrust into me, choking me as he gripped my face, holding me against him.
I sputtered around him, but this time, I didn’t fight.
I didn’t even want to. I had that feeling like I was floating again, like I was nothing but sensation, and I loved every feeling that was racing through my body, even the way he cut off my air.
When he slid back, he smiled down at me. “Now, that’s my good boy. You love this, don’t you, being on your knees for me.”
I nodded.
“That’s right, you do. I’m going to come down your throat, and you’re going to take it, aren’t you?”
I nodded again, and he drove back into me harder than ever.
I still didn’t struggle. I needed this. He kept going, fucking into my mouth again and again, and then with a rough groan, he jerked against me, and cum flooded my throat.
I swallowed as much as I could, but I couldn’t keep up.
Some leaked from the side of my mouth and ran down my chin.
Would he punish me for that? Did I want him to?
Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, he pulled all the way out and watched as I fought for breath.
When I was able to fill my lungs with air, I looked up at him. His eyes were dark with desire. Did he want more?
My cock ached, and I was nearly delirious with need. “Please. I need to come so bad.” I was so ready. I felt like one stroke of his hand would be enough to bring me over the edge.
“No. You haven’t earned it yet,” he said.
What was he going to make me do now? “Please, I—”
“You’ll do exactly what I say. Right now, your job is to help clean up the mess you made.”
He ran his fingers up my chest and then my chin, gathering some of the cum that had dripped from my mouth.
“Suck them clean,” he demanded, forcing his fingers into my mouth.