Chapter 17 Dante
DANTE
Movement beside me had me suddenly wide-awake. I lay frozen, assessing the situation, and then I remembered: Alexander. He was here in my bed.
I had fucked him, and it had been incredible.
I watched through barely open eyes as he rose from the bed and waited, thinking he might be going to the bathroom and then coming back. When I saw him starting to put on his clothes, I tensed.
He dressed and moved toward the doorway. Oh, hell no. He wasn’t slinking out of here. We had things to talk about. Rules. Decisions. And if he was going to fuck a grown man like me, he needed to know how to face me the morning after. “Where the hell are you going?”
Alex jumped and turned to face me. “I… I thought since it was dark now, it would be good for me to go ahead and leave because no one would see me, and you wouldn’t have to worry.”
“This isn’t some back-alley hookup you run away from.”
“No, I mean, it’s not, but I didn’t think… I didn’t think you’d want me to be here now.”
“You’re not going anywhere until you’ve had dinner.” I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat up. “Let me worry about how to keep things discreet. Your job is to do what I say, and I didn’t tell you to leave.”
“Are we going to keep this up?”
“By ‘this,’ do you mean fucking?”
He bit his lip and looked down. “Yeah.”
“Are you playing shy with me now?”
He fidgeted for a moment before answering. “It’s all a little bit much. Like everything that happened.”
“Get dressed and sit down. We’re going to make some rules.”
“Rules?”
“Yes.” I grabbed my robe from the bathroom, pulled it around me, and tied it before taking a seat in the large chair by the window.
Once he was dressed, Alex settled himself on my lap, and I wrapped my arms around him. I held him like that for a few moments; he needed the comfort. He was freaking out, and what I had to say probably wouldn’t make things any easier.
How far was I going to take this relationship? I hated the idea of him returning to the frat house. I didn’t want him around Randall or any of those other assholes, but I had a mission to take care of. Fuck, what if I didn’t come back? What if this was it?
No. My brothers and I and all the Theriots were damn good at what we did. We were going to win this. I would survive. I would come back, and I would help Alex learn how important it was for him to take care of himself and to focus on the things that mattered.
Like you?
I dismissed that nagging voice. I was important to him for now. Deep inside, I knew this was insane, but I wanted to do something for myself. I could hardly encourage Lorenzo and not be willing to take my own risks. God knows what Rafe would say, but I’d figure that out later.
“Look at me, Alex.”
He did.
“I’m going to make you dinner, and then you’ll stay here with me tonight.
You’ll figure out something to tell anyone who questions you about why you stayed out all night.
I don’t care what you tell them, as long as I’m not involved.
But while you’re not allowed to talk about us, I want you thinking about me.
I want you longing to come back here. But do not touch yourself unless you’re here with me and I tell you to, and don’t you dare let anyone else touch you. ”
“Dante? You mean that? I can come back?”
I’d clearly lost my mind. “Is that what you want?” He nodded frantically, and I loved that I could please him so easily. “You have to agree to my rules.”
He frowned. “You’re really serious, aren’t you?”
“Deadly serious. If we’re doing this, you’re mine. No one else touches you. You don’t go out with anyone, men or women. Is that clear?”
“I… um… I guess.”
I cupped the uninjured side of his face and moved so close I could barely stop myself from kissing him. His eyes widened, and once again, I saw that heady mix of fear and desire in them. “That’s not good enough. I don’t share. Do you promise to obey?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Yes, what?”
He smiled. “I thought you didn’t like me saying it.”
“I lied.”
“Yes, Professor.”
I knew it was wrong to love that so much, but I didn’t care. “That’s better.”
“This is really happening, right?”
I hadn’t been able to stop what felt inevitable. “Apparently. Have you eaten today?”
He seemed to be considering his answer. I think so.
“That’s not good enough. I expect you to eat regularly.”
“Or what?”
I let my hand slide down his chest. “You won’t get to come.”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
I raised my brows. “Is that what you think? Do you think I would joke about what I expect from you?”
“No. But how will you know if I… when we’re not…”
“I’ll know. Or I could put you in a cock cage and see how well you deal with that.”
His mouth dropped open. “Holy fuck. That’s not… people don’t really…”
“I assure you they do.” Alex was such a delightful mix of innocent and filthy, na?ve and knowledgeable beyond his years.
“I’ll be good, I promise. And no one else will touch me. I don’t want anyone else.”
“Good. Now, I’m going to make us some dinner.”
“You don’t have to do that. We could just order a pizza.”
I huffed. “You need a nutritious dinner, and I want to make one for you.”
He frowned. “You like to cook?”
“Yes. Is that so hard to imagine?”
“I guess not, but neither of my parents liked to cook, and my aunt and uncle don’t either. All my dinners were made by someone on their staff or in a restaurant.”
What a terrible childhood. “That’s a shame. Come on in the kitchen. You can watch and learn.”
“I don’t know if I can—”
“Anyone can learn to cook. It’s a skill you need in order to take care of yourself. Now, come in the kitchen.”
He huffed. “You’re so fucking bossy.”
“And you love it.” He took my hand, and I pulled him up from the couch.
“Yeah, I kind of do.”
Instead of standing beside me in the kitchen, Alex jumped up onto the counter on the opposite side of the sink and started swinging his legs. He looked frightfully young.
This was a bad idea. It was also the best thing that had happened to me in ages.
How long had it been since I’d let myself enjoy being with a man or doing something simple like cooking for him?
I took risks all the fucking time, stood in the line of fire, did anything and everything to protect my family.
I insisted on stepping away, not having as much of a role in the family business as Lorenzo and Rafe.
I’ve gotten my degree and followed my chosen career path, and that was supposed to be for me, but somehow, it felt… lonely.
And I was constantly frustrated by being pulled back into business, like this bullshit with the Russians. Not that I would mind taking out Ivanov and Dimitri. They were both scum, and they deserved to die. I had no qualms about fighting them and anyone who supported them.
But it had all been work. I’d worked as hard as I could to earn a PhD, then worked to be respected at the university despite using family connections to get my position.
I’d worked to present material so that students could actually learn and maybe even enjoy my classes.
But I never relaxed, not like the way I found myself smiling and laughing now as I hung out with Alex.
I dipped chicken cutlets in seasoned cornstarch and shallow-fried them in a pan. When I flipped them, his eyes widened.
“They didn’t stick at all! How do you know it was time to turn them? Look how perfectly brown they are.”
I glanced at him and smiled. “I have a lot of practice, and you wait until they are no longer clinging to the pan. That’s part of how you know they’ve browned enough.”
“I like watching you. I’d like it even more if you were naked.”
I rolled my eyes. “Do you see this spitting oil? I’m not standing in front of a hot stove naked.”
“How about in nothing but an apron?”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“You’re gorgeous.”
Why did his compliments affect me like no one else’s? “I’m glad you enjoy it.”
“I don’t know how you expect anyone to listen in class. All I can do is stare at you and think about what it would be like to take you out of one of those suits. The way you roll up your sleeves and show your slutty little forearms is obscene. If you wore your glasses, somebody would faint.”
I knew I was attractive. I worked hard at it. I had to stay in shape to be sure I could save myself or any family members in the line of danger, but Alex was taking it too far. “Rolling up sleeves is not obscene.”
“It might not be for some people, but for you, you might as well strip naked.”
I rolled my eyes. “That would get me fired almost as quickly as fucking you.”
He sighed. “Are you sure you don’t want me to leave?”
“I told you, you’re staying the night, and I’m trying to show you how to cook some decent food right now.”
“I know, but I don’t want to get you fired.”
“I’m trusting you to keep this secret.” And I hoped to hell I hadn’t misjudged him.
“Why would I say anything about being with you? First of all, it would mean I wouldn’t get fucked by you again.
Second of all, you’d kill me or send someone to do it.
If you can threaten a bully like Randall to where he nearly cries every time he sees me, then I know what kind of danger I’d be in if I broke my promise. ”
Normally, he’d be absolutely right. If someone endangers me or my family, I make sure they pay for it. If that means they need to die, then that’s what it means. But I couldn’t hurt Alex, not like that.
Send him away? Maybe. Make him swear he’d never been in my house, never touched me before? That I could do. But hurt him? No. No more than I could hurt one of my brothers. That realization was fucking scary as hell.
I pushed that thought away, not ready to analyze it yet, not with Alex here watching me. Later, I’d have to examine how far gone I was over my student and what the fuck I was going to do about it.
Keep him here. Lock him in your bedroom, make him your toy.
That was definitely not the right answer.