Chapter 24 Calliope
CALLIOPE
“Up! Arms up, baby, that’s it!”
Nick gasps like he’s taking his first ever breath when his head pops out of his sweater and he shakes his head, sending his curls all over the place. “Freedom!”
“Yeah, freedom. I’m sorry the sweater was itchy. Do you want to pick another one?”
“No!”
“Baby, it’s cold and you have a trip today. Your teacher needs you to dress warmly.”
“No!” Nick grins at me, standing there in just his vest while a few red patches decorate his arms and legs. I take note and decide to throw the sweater out and switch laundry powder in case he’s allergic.
“Baby, please, we’re going to be late if you don’t pick another sweater.”
“No!” He grins again, his eyes wide.
“Hmm. Guess you’ll just turn into a snowman, then.”
“Yay! That’s cool!”
“Is it cool? Baby, what happens to snow when the sun is up?”
He stubbornly crosses his arms over his chest. “Melts.”
“Exactly. And if you’re so cold that you turn into a snowman, what happens to you?”
“I melt!” He grins again.
“Yep. And then you would be a puddle. Do you think puddles can open presents on their birthday?”
His mouth opens wide with a retort, but he hesitates and finally, it clicks in his mind, so he closes his mouth and frowns. “Can I wear my cartoon one?”
“Yes, you can.”
“I’ll go get it!” He immediately sprints away from me, and I use the counter to help me back to my feet with a sigh of relief. Disaster averted.
“You shouldn’t give in to him like that,” says Mom from where she’s standing near the stove, a cup of coffee warming her hands.
“I didn’t give in. I compromised with him so he knows his choices matter.”
She scoffs. “I didn’t do that with you.”
“No, you didn’t. And I remember how it made me feel. So I’m not doing that with him, okay?”
“Look at you with all these new rules. Hardly seems worth it if you’re going to hand him over to his father.”
“Mom!”
“What? That’s what’s going to happen.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Really? You think you can compromise with a man like that just like you did with Nick? A man you hid things from and lied to?”
“Mom, stop. I’m not talking about this right now.” I’d been unable to talk her down the other night when she overheard me telling Stacey about Elijah, and now that she knows who he is, she’s spent the past couple of days vocalizing all my worries as if they’re a certainty.
“You have to talk about this. Are you really going to let that man take your son away?”
“No! But he has a right to know. I just don’t know how to go about it, and you’re not helping.”
“I told you back then and I’ll tell you now. A man who knocks you up and abandons you has no right being a father. Nick doesn’t need a dad.”
“My dad?” Nick’s voice rises up from the doorway as he stands there with wide eyes, clutching his cartoon sweater with both hands. “What about my dad?”
I glare at Mom and then dart toward him. “Don’t worry about that, baby. Let’s get you into this and then we have to go or we’ll be late!”
Thankfully, Nick doesn’t put up much of a fight when I dress him, and we’re out of the house and in the car within ten minutes. Unfortunately, my mom’s less-than-quiet slip-up leads to a whole host of questions as I drive.
“Mommy?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Grandma… did she see my dad?”
My heart sinks. “No, baby. She didn’t.”
“Then why was she talking about him?”
I have no idea how to approach this. As much as I was mistaken about Elijah, Nick remains the most important person in this situation. “Well, baby. Because your birthday is coming up and I know you were asking about school and the races with the other kids and their daddies.”
“But I don’t have one,” Nick murmurs, picking at the gloves covering his fingers. “Samson says I can have his dad.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet.”
“But my teacher says everyone has a dad.”
“That is true. Like Grandpa.”
“But I have you and Grandma. Where’s mine?”
I grip the steering wheel tightly, splitting my attention with the road and the rearview mirror to watch him. “Your dad is… you remember how I said he had to go away on a very important mission? And that it was really long and really secret?”
He nods. “Is it over?”
“Well… do you want it to be over?”
Nick falls silent, then his mouth squints and he shrugs. “I dunno.”
“You don’t know?”
“What if… what if it’s over and he comes back and he doesn’t like me?”
“Oh, baby. That’s not possible, I swear! You’re the sweetest little thing.”
“But then why did he go?” Nick asks. “Why did he leave me?”
My palms ache with how tightly I grip the steering wheel and my heart starts to pound. There’s no way I can think of to soothe a question like that, so as we pull up to the school, I lock eyes with him in the mirror.
“Nick… there’s one super important thing I need you to understand.”
“Okay!” He smiles back at me.
“This… mission your dad went on. He didn’t have a choice.”
Nick frowns. “But Mommy, you say we always have a choice.”
“I do. I do say that.” Well done, me. “But sometimes, there’s things where we don’t have a choice. Grown-up things like going to work and making money. Those things are harder.”
“Oh… I understand!”
He sounds cheery, but I’m not convinced he does. “So do you think… do you think you’d want to meet Daddy if he ever came home?”
Nick’s head tilts and he shrugs again. “I dunno. Can I go now?” His eyes light up when he spots one of his friends on the sidewalk, so I nod and smile.
“Sure, baby. Just let me park.”
Twenty minutes later, I sit in the coffee shop just down from my office building with my head in my hands and groan loudly. “I hate my life.”
“Aw,” coos Victoria who sits across from me. “It can’t be that bad. Come on, spill it.”
Lifting my head from my palms, I stare at her with a sad smile. I want to tell her all about Nick and his questions, how his opinion didn’t make my decision any easier and I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
But the words don’t come.
They can’t without telling her about Elijah, so instead I focus on my mother.
“It’s just my mom. She’s continuing to strip the wallpaper and yesterday, I had a late start because I was at the doctor’s with Nick and I came home, and you know what she did?
She’d stripped up the carpet in the living room!
” All my frustration at myself gets poured into my words about my mother and as I talk, there is a slight sense of relief to get it all out.
“Oh, my God.” Victoria laughs. “That’s insane.”
“That’s what I said! Nick can’t play in the living room anymore because I’m terrified he’ll get his little fingers caught in the floorboards or on a protruding nail, and you know what she said to me? She told me to move back to my apartment!”
“Why don’t you?” Victoria sips her coffee. “Go back to your own place and be free.”
“Because she’s still my mom. She can’t afford to support herself, and because she’s not the only one grieving.
Seeing my dad’s shoes on the rack or his picture on the wall, or walking down the hallway and smelling him…
” The words catch in my throat and I shake my head.
“I’m not ready to say goodbye to that yet. ”
“That’s fair.” Victoria lowers her cup. “I’m sorry. That was thoughtless of me to say.”
“It’s fine.” I wrap my hands around my cup and huddle forward. “Life is hard.”
“Not all hard, though, right?”
As I lift my cup, our eyes meet. “How do you mean?”
“You and Elijah.”
The coffee scorches a patch of fire down my throat as I swallow in alarm, and it takes all my restraint not to cough. “Excuse me?” I gasp.
“You and Elijah,” she repeats. “That’s a good thing, right?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Sure, you do.” Victoria leans forward and lowers her voice. “I saw the two of you at the Bistro. It looked cozy.”
My cheeks immediately flare as if I’ve been slapped on both sides. “You saw us?”
“Mmhmm. Don’t worry, I’m not judging!” She sits back with a grin. “I completely understand the allure of an older man. Hell, I would have gone for him if I knew that was even an option.” She sighs wistfully. “This is my punishment for spending too much time at the stores.”
Shit. I thought we were far enough away that no one would see us so I could avoid questions and stares, but it seems Victoria, for the most part, sees no problem with it.
“Although now, you’re technically dating the boss.”
“The boss?” I take another drink, cautiously this time. There’s no point in trying to deny what Victoria saw. It’d only make me look more guilty.
“Mmhmm. Didn’t you hear?”
“Hear what?”
Her eyes light up with the delight of gossip. “Yesterday, Elijah had some sort of explosive argument with Jimmy over the website or Valentine’s Day, I’m not really sure. But Jimmy told him he had no control because he hadn’t signed.”
My heart begins pounding for another reason. “Signed what?”
“No clue. Mariane, Jimmy’s assistant? She only overheard a little but she swears that when Elijah left the office, he was talking on the phone about signing on the dotted line.”
Oh, no.
“Victoria, what did he sign?”
“I said I don’t know!”
Does that mean the merger is happening? Is he really about to axe my entire department? My stomach flips and my coffee sours on my next sip, so I abandon the drink. Everything with Nick and my mom means nothing if I’m out of a job.
“Hey!” Victoria leans forward again and grins.
“You went to dinner, right? So he likes you! Maybe you can find out what the hell is happening and what he’s up to.
I mean, if you have an in with him, then it’s kind of your responsibility.
” Despite the lightness of her laugh, there’s a distinct note of jealousy in her tone.
But I don’t have space to be mad because she might actually be right for once.
“That’s not a bad idea,” I agree.
As we walk to work, I mull over how to get Elijah’s attention and how to approach the subject without seeming entirely obvious when my phone buzzes in my hand with a message from the man in question.
[Elijah] Free for lunch later?