Chapter Thirty-Four
Ewan continued to pace and spew his ramblings of how he would rule the clan. The demented fool aspired to rule all of Scotland. He planned to go to war clan by clan, acquiring land and more soldiers until he had an army at his command.
“And then we will descend upon England while they are still caught up in their war with France, and I can make my move.”
Ronan wanted to point out all the ways in which his plan would likely fail, but he didn’t have the energy to argue with a lunatic. His leg was causing him a great deal of pain now, and he knew even if he had the chance to escape the chains, he’d not make it very far.
“Why have you not acknowledged how perfect my plan is?” Ewan came closer and nudged Ronan’s bad leg with his foot.
“Is that why you delay? Because you’re waiting for me to tell you how brilliant you are?
I’m sorry, but if I’m to face my death, I can’t do so with a lie upon my lips.
Telling you this farce of a plan will work would be the biggest lie ever to come out of my mouth.
So, if it be all the same to ye, I’ll just sit here while you ramble on with your hideously flawed strategy. ”
This infuriated Ewan to the point of murderous rage.
Mayhap Ronan had grown tired of waiting for Ewan to kill him and wanted it done, or perhaps he’d just been foolish in the grips of hunger and exhaustion, but Ronan was surprised by how calm he was in the face of death.
In France, he’d always thought it would be the worst thing, but in the hours he’d been sitting here with his fate becoming clearer by the minute, he’d had time to prepare.
He closed his eyes, picturing Brenna’s face and waited for the death blow.
But instead of the sounds he expected—the grunt of effort it would take for Ewan to raise his dagger and strike him through the heart, or the rush of air escaping his throat from the shock of it—he heard a strangely soft whoosh and then gurgling.
Opening his eyes, he saw Ewan stagger as blood escaped the corners of his mouth. His eyes were wide in shock, and his hands came up to the arrow sticking through both sides of his neck.
The arrow, fletched with white swan’s feathers, tipped blue with woad.
Brenna.
***
Brenna watched as Ewan slumped to the ground in an unmoving heap and pulled in a shaky breath.
It was over. All the fear and constant danger were finally over. Ewan was gone. He’d never threaten her or the people she cared for ever again. The knowledge was nearly dizzying.
“Nice shot, my lady,” Gabe praised her. “Did ye see it?” He turned to the other men who had obviously seen the shot as well.
Will patted her on the back. “Aye, we saw.” As the other men cheered, he leaned closer to whisper. “Are ye well?”
She searched for an answer, and while it had been different shooting a rabbit to feed her people than shooting a man only to end him, she was sure it had been the right thing—nay, the only thing—to be done.
“I am well,” she said.
He patted her shoulder again and smiled approvingly. “Ye are a fierce warrior, Brenna Grant.”
“Let’s see to the laird,” Hugh said, shaking them all from their short celebration.
As they scrabbled down the rubble to get to Ronan, it was clear they never would have made it in time to save him. The arrow had been the only option. She only hoped it had been loosed in time. If Ronan had been mortally wounded, it would all be for naught.
Lighter on her feet than the other men, Brenna arrived first. His eyes were closed, and his stillness sent a chill through her as her gaze scoured Ronan for blood. She saw nothing severe, but she knew some wounds bled deep in the body and were just as deadly.
“Are you injured?” she asked. “Ronan?”
The only movement came from his lips. They pulled up in a slight smile. “You saved me, wife.”
“We are all here,” she said, lest he think she had foolishly come alone.
“Good. I’ll need them to help me stand. My leg has grown stiff.”
“Is that the only thing that hurts? Your leg?”
He hesitated as if thinking to say something else, but then he finally opened his eyes to look at her. “My leg is my only physical pain.”
Physical. The distinction caused Brenna to step back as the other men filled in around their laird. They were loud with their exuberance, making it easy enough for Brenna to slip back into the shadows.
Her husband didn’t suffer from physical pain, but he was telling her he still hurt. Because she had lost their child.
Eventually, the men quieted down. Gabe and Malcolm announced they would go collect the horses.
“Brimstone is somewhere close,” Ronan said.
Hugh offered to go look for him while Will looked down to the bodies lying on the stones.
“We shall bury my mother. As for Ewan, he shall be left here to feed the vultures and animals. He’ll not sully the Grant kirkyard with his mangey corpse,” Ronan said adamantly.
“I’ll see to your mother,” Hugh said with a nod.
With all the men otherwise busy, she and Ronan were left standing there alone. He came closer, limping heavily on his injured leg.
“You should sit.”
“Nay. I must walk around to loosen it up. Will you walk with me?”
She nodded and followed along as he took an overgrown path along the cliff’s edge. When they could no longer see the castle, he turned to her, his eyes filled with sadness.
“I’m so sorry,” she blurted as he opened his mouth to speak. She had no idea what he might say, but she needed him to know how terribly sorry she was she had lost their babe and disappointed him.
“Whatever would you have to apologize to me for?”
“I lost the babe. I didn’t realize I was with child for some time, and I didn’t take care like I should have right away. I rode every morning. If I hadn’t…maybe…”
“Brenna, no.” He let out a breath and placed his cool hand on her cheek. “Did ye think that was the pain I suffered?” He shook his head. “Christ, can I do nothing right by you?”
He walked in a tight circle and returned to stand before her.
“Before I tell you what I have learned, you need to know that from the moment I learned about our child, I did not blame ye, lass. Never. I only blamed myself for not being here when you needed me. And now…’tis clear you needed me more than I realized.
Not just to mourn our loss, but to have protected you from it in the first place. Had I been here, he never would have…”
His hands curled into tight fists, and he cursed Ewan’s name to the devil.
“He did it, Brenna. He poisoned ye with a potion so you would lose the babe. He couldn’t risk our son being the heir. He caused you nothing but pain, and I—I brought him back to our home and judged you for tossing him out, the man who killed our child. I embraced him as family and…”
He rubbed roughly at his face, clearly dismayed. She stepped forward and took his hand, squeezing it in both of hers.
“He was clever, Ronan. He tricked many people, including your grandsire.”
She breathed, noticing how much easier it was to do without the constant weight of guilt on her chest. All this time she’d been told she’d done nothing wrong, and on some level she of course knew it to be true. But now, knowing it was Ewan’s doing, it seemed easier to let it drift away.
Except it seemed it stayed pretty close. For every pound of guilt she shed, it appeared her husband was taking it on himself. “Ronan?”
He looked at her, and she saw the pain and guilt pressing in on him.
“We must leave this behind us. Here in this place with the man that caused it.”
“I caused it,” he nearly yelled. “I wasn’t here where I should have been. At your side.”
“I forgive you,” she whispered urgently.
He choked. “Ye can’t forgive me. I haven’t even come up with a way to properly apologize for all I’ve done to ye.
From the very first day we met when I told my grandfather I didn’t want to marry ye and preferred your witch of a sister, I’ve done every single thing wrong. You deserve better than this, Brenna.”
“Then offer your apology and tell me we can leave all of this sadness behind us. I don’t want to carry it into the rest of our life together. Ewan has stolen enough from us already. I want a fresh start. Together. What do you want?”
He stared at her for what felt like a long time. Eventually, he took a steadying breath and squared his shoulders.
“Brenna Grant, please forgive me for all the ways I have wronged ye. For leaving you all those years. For not reading your letters or writing you back. For not protecting you from Ewan. For treating you so horribly when I returned and not asking to hear your side of things. For leaving you a second time when it seemed impossible to move forward. For allowing even one second of doubt that I blamed you for what happened. And probably most of all for not making sure you knew how very pleased I am to have you for my wife. I promise to do better. Please forgive me.”
She didn’t answer right away. Brushing away all he had said without truly hearing it wouldn’t have been well done. So she thought through each word he said, and then, after careful consideration, she answered as she’d expected to.
“All is forgiven husband. Let us shake off all the guilt and move forward.”
He nodded slowly and looked up at the darkened sky. “I know the first thing I want to do in this new start.”
She tilted her head taking in the soft smile on his face. He seemed lighter, and she was so happy to see he had done what she’d asked and cast off the guilt that would easily consume him. “What is that?” she asked, hoping he planned to kiss her as she longed for.
Instead, he took her hand in his and stared into her eyes. “I love ye, wife,” he said, causing her to gasp in surprise.
As much as she dreamed of him loving her, she never thought he would. After all, he hadn’t chosen her. Hadn’t wanted her. But she’d asked him to shake off the things of the past, and this doubt was something keeping her tethered to that old life.
It might have been the hardest thing she’d ever done. For this insecurity had wrapped itself around her soul long before she’d even met him and had only twisted tighter when he’d left.
She closed her eyes and gathered all the strength she had. Feeling his hand in hers, she pulled from his power as well and ripped the vile weed from her very being. The force of it made her stagger, but he supported her, his arms coming around her, holding her tight.
He loved her. She opened her eyes and saw the truth there in his patient gaze. “You love me,” she said.
Her words lit off a spark that ignited his smile.
“Aye, lass, with all my heart. I look forward to spending the rest of my days telling you so.”
And then, finally, he kissed her.